Recently, I was doing my usual duty as a TSA agent when a disgusting old man entered our airport with get this.. a mangy dog! We have a clear policy against bringing in pets.. but this disgusting old blind man pretends he needs his pet in and exploits a loophole no doubt caused by Obamacare that forces businesses to tolerate wild beasts if the pet owner pretends to be a cripple. No doubt God blinded him because he lived such a sinful and unrepentant lifestyle Exodus 4:11.
So, this disgusting mutt urinates right on the lobby floor! Bleh! I would have punched that crippled freak right then and there but I can't afford
another lawsuit, and unlike some people I don't have the luxury of slacking off during the holidays so I can go get persecuted by a liberal judge.
I take great solace knowing that this government leeching crippled freak will soon be with Satan being sodomized by his barbed wire tallywacker which has been dipped various forms of acid and hot sauce, in between his sessions of being roasted and toasted by Satan's never ending flames.
However, I am deeply concerned that his mangy mutt won't experience the same rightful punishment. We already know that aborted fetuses, babies, retards, and other fools who are too incompetent to realize the incredible sacrifice that our sweet and loving savoir Jesus has made for them will receive their just punishment. So why should dogs get a free pass? Especially dogs that not only enable cripples, but are also degenerate to lack any sort of respect for other people's property, and one disgusting and inconsiderate enough to urinate in a public airport.