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Professor of Creation Science at Landover University Double PhD. Theomathematics, Racial Science Returned from 10 year South Africa Expedition
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,988
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Returned from studying the negro in Africa.
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 06:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jedediah
The men's Bible Study group then adjourned from their session, gathered in a circle around me and commenced to lay hands upon me.
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The feeling of being in the center of my first Prayer Circle was overwhelming, all that True Christian™ love focused on my unworthy soul felt like the sweetest mana poured directly from Heaven.
Professor of Creation Science at Landover Baptist University
Sodomites! Stop being gay TODAY!
Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. James 1:21
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 08:00 AM
It showed on my face, my whole demeanour (to the tips of my fingers) screamed " triumph!"!!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 270
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: My new house down south!
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 10:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
It showed on my face, my whole demeanour (to the tips of my fingers) screamed " triumph!"!!
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I wept with joy as I knew then that I was on the long road to Jesus, aged just 24.
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 01:07 PM
I opened my KJV.
Posted via Mobile Device
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 01:27 PM
It opened to the 137th Psalm.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
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Posts: 23
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Nonexistant
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 01:29 PM
And then I burned it realizing redemption and self help only comes from within you. There is no such thing as religion. Can't you follow even the simplest of rules? — Admin.
Since the existance of time, scientists and great minds alike have wanted total coexistance within the human race and within the animal kingdom. Equal rights for everyone regardless of sexual preferences etc. and the total contact and peace with animals.
Since the existance of time religion has impeded that wish. However, none as hard as Christianity
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 03:05 PM
I took pause to stone the above heathen; unto death.
Posted via Mobile Device
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 04:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters
It opened to the 137th Psalm.
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...verse 9, which read "Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones," and I learned that all my moral intuitions regarding the treatment of infants had been mistaken.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 04:33 PM
So I wondered what other parts of secular, liberal "morality" that I had been taught my whole life were wrong.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 04:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters
So I wondered what other parts of secular, liberal "morality" that I had been taught my whole life were wrong.
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So I asked the pastor and he told me that the best way to determine what is right and wrong is to refer exclusively to the content of the King James Bible, and its iron age moral teachings, as secular ideals are constantly changing whereas the Bible will never change.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Honorary True Christian™
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 07:29 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
So I asked the pastor and he told me that the best way to determine what is right and wrong is to refer exclusively to the content of the King James Bible, and its iron age moral teachings, as secular ideals are constantly changing whereas the Bible will never change.
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I found this very confusing, because I, being a short-lived human and a creation of God, must surely know better than the Creator Himself what is right and wrong . . . right?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 07:48 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
I found this very confusing, because I, being a short-lived human and a creation of God, must surely know better than the Creator Himself what is right and wrong . . . right?
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Isaiah 6:4-5 And the posts of the door moved at the voice of him that cried, and the house was filled with smoke. Then said I, Woe is me! for I am undone; because I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips: for mine eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 270
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: My new house down south!
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 08:16 PM
I expressed these concerns to my pastor and he rebuked me sternly.
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 08:21 PM
Should this really be arousing or am I being tempted by Satan?
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Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
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Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 09:00 PM
Satan always tempts: be firm in your hand.
Posted via Mobile Device
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 09:51 PM
Getting back to the telling of a story instead of a tangential conversation , yet reminding myself of the requirement to write only one sentence in a post, I considered further my belief that my "conscience" might be correct and the Bible incorrect, as I'd always been told by various pastors, Oprah, friends, Dr. Phil, and family . . . was this truly a logical position to take?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 10:49 PM
I shared this concern with the pastor, who responded with a sneer, "You'd make a good Episcopalian, so perhaps you'd like to join them in hell."
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 10:54 PM
Wondering whether the insects were DT's from the absinthe, or worse, I thought about Biblical correctness and how its words will never change so imagine my surprise when a small winged scorpion spoke to me and said "the words of Shakespeare will never change either.."
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,744
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 11:31 PM
Sometimes I wish I had been steeped in sin that I might be born again, but The Good Lord decided that I was to be born of immensely rich and influential True Christians™ and benefit hourly and for half a lifetime from their teachings; I have felt close to the Lord for as long as I can remember.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Posts: 18,554
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: TrueChristian™ One Sentence Story -
02-01-2012, 11:39 PM
So close to the Lord my mind wandered about to that wonderful rainy day when the back of the Youth Pastor of my parents church car he Saved me for the first time.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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