[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

I know about the "no-spoiler" policy on this year's Hell House, but I'm so proud of the "self-abuse" room I just have to share a bit of it with you.

You get to see what happens to sperm-murderers (Masturbators, wankers, jerk-offs etc.) when they arrive in hell. It's dark, so you only see things when a spotlight shines on them. The first thing they see is a stash of hard-core porn:



They think they're in heaven. But then, quietly at first, comes the sound of slithering. Louder, and louder....

The, a spotlight points to a sign with this quotation of scripture, which clearly states that Life Begins BEFORE Conception:

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. -Jeremiah 1:5, and Psalm 139:13

Then, millions upon millions of unconcieved American babies (who are also in hell, because they did not accept Jesus Christ) attack, finally ready to get their revenge, as portrayed in this display:




The gruesome result is then graphically brought home using the latest in virtual reality technology. See how long you can survive against hordes of vengeful souls - in 3-D!

Screenshot:


I've only managed to last half a minute before it's "game over"! There's also a higher difficulty level, just in case we get some really hard-core gamers.

[SUV]

Brother Jeb, I am shocked to learn that some "Men" would choose to Kill pre-Conceived babies in such a way.

In Fact I thought it was only already-Born Babies who were done away with, and only then if they were extra Sinful.

[Poetic Peter]

Joyous Congratulations to Jeb, who thinks outside of the constraints of dull, mere Conservatism.

L00k:



Look how prominent our Hell House has become in the internets world!

---
sing:

Onward, upward, be our watchword;
Conquer and prevail! "Hail to Thee,
our Watchful Leader", Landover
Baptists wail!

---

May the glory be all over Brother Thurmond.


PP

[Father Thomas Martin]

Well, if you say they're going to hell, why bother saving them in the first place?

I see you hate babies now, heretic dogs!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin

Well, if you say they're going to hell, why bother saving them in the first place?

I see you hate babies now, heretic dogs!

Oh, you'd rather our pastors turn their backs to God and start diddling babies like some papist Mary worshipper?

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin

Well, if you say they're going to hell, why bother saving them in the first place?

I see you hate babies now, heretic dogs!

Shut up. You priests kill billions of babies by spilling your seed in little boys.

Catholics are so stupid! No wonder they have brown babies.

[Bryan Tamariki]

Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond

I know about the "no-spoiler" policy on this year's Hell House, but I'm so proud of the "self-abuse" room I just have to share a bit of it with you.

You get to see what happens to sperm-murderers (Masturbators, wankers, jerk-offs etc.) when they arrive in hell. It's dark, so you only see things when a spotlight shines on them. The first thing they see is a stash of hard-core porn:

They think they're in heaven. But then, quietly at first, comes the sound of slithering. Louder, and louder....

The, a spotlight points to a sign with this quotation of scripture, which clearly states that Life Begins BEFORE Conception:

Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you. -Jeremiah 1:5, and Psalm 139:13

Then, millions upon millions of unconcieved American babies (who are also in hell, because they did not accept Jesus Christ) attack, finally ready to get their revenge, as portrayed in this display:

The gruesome result is then graphically brought home using the latest in virtual reality technology. See how long you can survive against hordes of vengeful souls - in 3-D!

You write with wisdom Brother Jeb, I commend you!

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

On one hand I'm happy to see such great work being done to combat the evils of self-touching, but on the other hand it tragic that all this has become necessary.

One of my first memories was of this simple puppet show, which in my day was all that was needed:

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr.

On one hand I'm happy to see such great work being done to combat the evils of self-touching, but on the other hand it tragic that all this has become necessary.

How I long for those innocent days. Now there's even an entire musical genre dedicated to self-abuse, I don't know what they call it but I call it "wanksta-rap". You've probably heard it - it's like normal rap but the lyrics sound like "Hustler magazine, the audiobook".

"Cop-killer" isn't good enough for them, they have to kill unconcieved cops as well.

[Buford T Scoggins]

Originally Posted by Trent Harvey, Jr.

One of my first memories was of this simple puppet show, which in my day was all that was needed:

Unfortunately, Brother Trent, I recognize that guy with the puppet. He was a fellow inmate I met when I was in the Happydale Home for the Severely Disturbed. He was known as "Marty the Puppet Molester."

According to rumors that I heard from the orderlies, he got caught when he showed up at a hospital emergency room with his tallywacker stuck in the puppet's...well, never mind. It's too horrible to go into details.

YIC,
Buford

[Wash O'Hanley]

After reading an article about pornography recently, my son was so angry at the descriptions of sexual deviancies that go on in the pornography that is warping American boys and creating sexual desire that causes them to want to have sex, which they normally would want to have, that he excused himself to go to the bathroom and (what sounded like) began punching himself in the genitals, presumably to stop Satan from trying to get him to masturbate. I was very proud at the act of self sacrifice that ensured both that he was not under Satan's spell and that I would have mentally handicapped grandchildren springing fourth from his semi-mutilated loins.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Well the truth is, crippled and retarded babies are a result of fornication during a woman's monthly curse.

Every parent you see with a gimped up kid has been offending Christ in a very disgusting, bloody way.

[lord warrior]

The newest hot topic for boys to jerk-off to is people peeing on one another. Another great German export.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by lord warrior

The newest hot topic for boys to jerk-off to is people peeing on one another. Another great German export.

You are kidding me!? That is the most disgusting thing I've ever heard of. Is it any wonder that Jesus hates queers?

[Father Thomas Martin]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Well the truth is, crippled and retarded babies are a result of fornication during a woman's monthly curse.

Every parent you see with a gimped up kid has been offending Christ in a very disgusting, bloody way.

You, sir, have too much hate in your heart (Typical for a heretic)

Why won't you give up your false, child-abusing, fire-breathing "God" and start worshiping the True loving, forgiving, kind, compassionate, merciful God that True Christians worship?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin

You, sir, have too much hate in your heart (Typical for a heretic)

Why won't you give up your false, child-abusing, fire-breathing "God" and start worshiping the True loving, forgiving, kind, compassionate, merciful God that True Christians worship?

Your own mary worshiping cult teaches the same thing, papist.

Medieval scholars, such as Aquinas and Duns Scotus, universally disapproved of menstrual intercourse, though their condemnations varied in gravity. The more common opinion was that sex during menstruation was a mortal sin. This view was justified on the basis that children conceived during this period were liable to be retarded or malformed. The only exception, made by St Thomas, was where menstruation was prolonged. In this case, he held that sexual intercourse was justified because the women could be presumed sterile, and the slight risk of conceiving a retarded or otherwise deformed child was outweighed by the husband's conjugal rights. Note that the right here must be a right to take pleasure or to obtain sexual relief rather than a right to procreate!

If you weren't so busy buggering altar boys you might have known that.

[ducks42 (Quarantined)]

whats wrong with abortion? financially on a young couple, its a great decision. i like how yall take the side to save an unborn "soul" along with the political parties, yet when it comes to a living "soul" yall dont wanna lend a hand to help them out at all.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by ducks42

whats wrong with abortion? financially on a young couple, its a great decision. i like how yall take the side to save an unborn "soul" along with the political parties, yet when it comes to a living "soul" yall dont wanna lend a hand to help them out at all.

So murdering babies is just fine and dandy for you? It's a "great decision?"

You make me sick. You make satan proud.

[ducks42 (Quarantined)]

...i didnt say babies you mormon. i said unborn...thats not a kicking screaming baby, its a 2 sex cells combining and in nine months, itll be a baby. and yeah...its a great decision IF you dont want to have a child. so is having it and putting it up for adoption. however, if i was a young woman and got pregnant, i would just have them scramble its brains and id bleed it out later.

[eliot mayfield]

Anf you'd go to Hell where you belong! You think killing babies is right? Just because it's make you're life difficult. Listen you little Whore, keep your legs together and you won't have to worry about it! People like you disgust me. Abortion is murder!