General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 72
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Freehold, IA
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I've enlisted -
04-24-2007, 02:32 PM
After much thought and consideration, I've come to the decision that I should put my career at LCU on hold and enlist in the U.S. Army! I've had enough of those ragheads walking around worshipping camels and it's time I told them so!
P.S. Brother Warrior in Christ: Meet me down at the jogging lake at 1500. Having been through basic training and all, I hope you can help me get in shape.
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: I've enlisted -
04-24-2007, 02:43 PM
Congratulations Brother Samuel.
You'll be joining the Ranks of the other brave American Men fighting to try and bring some kind of Civilisation out in Mudslimistan.
God and GWB are on YOUR side Soldier.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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"Stumpy"
True Christian™
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Posts: 430
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Waving the Flag for Jesus
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Re: I've enlisted -
04-25-2007, 01:49 PM
Son, you're pretty good at running, I won't lie. But you need to focus more on the mentality that you're going to have to be in to kill mudslime demons and love it. The LORD empowers us, as warriors and defenders of HIS great nation, to fight against all of those inhabitants of this world that are less than righteous or possess demonic qualities(i.e. mooselimbs and negros). I know you'll be a fine soldier, but you've got a long way to go son, kill me a dune coon and then we'll go out with the Pastors and as a celebration we'll witness the local prosititution racket, they could use some rebuking.
Proverbs 23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. 14Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: I've enlisted -
04-25-2007, 07:38 PM
Good for you! There's no greather honor than taking a bullet for Christ! God is smiling.
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Christ's Love Messenger
True Christian™
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Posts: 5,978
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: A road of rocks and glass
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Re: I've enlisted -
04-25-2007, 07:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
Good for you! There's no greather honor than taking a bullet for Christ! God is smiling.
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Praise Jesus! It's Brother Hammer; I can feel the demons running for cover.
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
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Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
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Re: I've enlisted -
04-25-2007, 07:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
Good for you! There's no greather honor than taking a bullet for Christ! God is smiling.
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Yes, his family will be so proud of him. Even though they will have to keep the funeral sercret from those evil liberals they can be sure their son did The Lord's work!
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: I've enlisted -
04-25-2007, 11:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
Good for you! There's no greather honor than taking a bullet for Christ! God is smiling.
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Brother WH! Welcome back! I trust your roving ministry to witches and harlots has borne fruit.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Ring-kissing Papist dog
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Posts: 3,358
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Vatican City...where we keep the good stuff!
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Re: I've enlisted -
04-26-2007, 12:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Witch Hammer
Good for you! There's no greather honor than taking a bullet for Christ! God is smiling.
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Congratulations on your removal from incarceration Twitchstammer! If you can get a message back inside tell Pastor Al I said hello!
Bless you, my early release violator to be,
Father Mo
A Cardinal in the making.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: I've enlisted -
04-29-2007, 12:16 AM
Praise Jesus! Although our various serious medical conditions and the important nature of the work we do fighting the War on Terror here on the home front means we cannot join you in the army, know that our hopes and prayers go with you. We would all dearly love to enlist alongside you, but it's been made clear to us that the work we do here is irreplacable. But when you're out there in mudslimeland, fighting vicious Jihadis for Christ, take a moment to think of your comrades here at Landover - Bobby Joe and the heroic way he demoralises Al-Quaeda supporters over the internet, Brother Wash and the masculine way he bravely voices his opinions over the radio, and even little old Temperance and the work I do putting bricks through the windows of those terrorist nests we call curry houses. Yes, some of us may be out in Iraq being shot at, and others may not, but we're all together in this war.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: I've enlisted -
04-29-2007, 12:49 AM
Truly, I wish I were as bold, courageous, and committed as you,
Brother Wash.
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Ladies of Landover Senior VP One of the Truest Christians™ Ever Mama Grizzly and formerly Sister Mary Maria
True Christian™
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Posts: 12,662
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Standing behind my husband
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Re: I've enlisted -
05-03-2007, 01:56 PM
I never even got to know you, and already you're leaving!
When you're in Iraq, look for a young boy with a KJV1611 Bible named Matthew. He was orphaned through God's will, and so he's available 24 hours a day to do any little jobs you may have for him in exchange for nothing more than crust of bread. But don't let him get lax! Always insist that he study and recite scripture before being fed!
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Yes, THAT Brother Love!
True Christian™
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Posts: 403
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Wherever Jesus Needs to Save Souls!!
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Re: I've enlisted -
05-05-2007, 03:07 AM
Brother Samuel you're a real SOLDIER FOR CHRIST and now you are going to take the LORD'S MESSAGE to the MUDSLIMES loud and clear. PRAISE THE LORD!! It's the people of JESUS that MUST stop the MUDSLIME degeneration against the Lord's people.
Evangelist for Jesus and The Word!!
"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." Matthew 7:15
"Prayer should be your first resource. Not your last resort!!"
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: I've enlisted -
05-05-2007, 05:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Love
Brother Samuel you're a real SOLDIER FOR CHRIST and now you are going to take the LORD'S MESSAGE to the MUDSLIMES loud and clear. PRAISE THE LORD!! It's the people of JESUS that MUST stop the MUDSLIME degeneration against the Lord's people.
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Praise Jesus! Its good to see you back in God's favorite forum, shouting God's Praises and rebuking heathen scum, Brother Love!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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