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More immigration? Why not just bring back Imperialism?
All across the world, people are willing to leave tropical paradises, crossing oceans on overcrowded, rickety boats, agreeing to be smuggled by criminals, suffering hardships and dangers I can't even imagine, all in the name of arriving at frozen wastelands.
Why?
Because brown people really, really want to be governed by white people.
"This might end with white people telling us what to do, so it's worth it".
They've got a point. Many economists say that we can double the world's production of wealth almost overnight by giving every brown person the opportunity to be governed by whites.
And yes, they do put it that bluntly:
The problem with their scheme is that it involves moving millions of people thousands of miles, just to cross an imaginary line on a map to get them closer to a couple of politicians.
A more efficient way would be to move the handful of politicians over that imaginary line, so nobody has to get on rickety rafts or trade tropical paradise for snow in April.
Liberals should love my plan - they like diverse cities over here, why should they deny diversity to the brown countries? Why are you hogging all the diversity to yourselves, liberals? Plus, imagine how much better eco-tourism will be when your next rainforest hike doesn't end with Boko Haram sawing someone's head off.
Now, you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. Also, my plan has been tried already, the last time we brought white government to brown people, we outlawed slavery (Benito Mussolini freed 2 million slaves, making him a greater emancipator than the Great Emancipator, it would make more sense to have Il Duce's face on the penny).
The other achievements of imperialism: discovering that the cure for ebola is to wash your friggin' hands every now and then, not sawing off people's heads for flying kites, not trying to cure AIDS by telling the infected to rape virgins, not blowing up churches because some schoolchild gave their teddy bear the wrong name, not mutilating the genetalia of little girls, well, you get the point. The millions of people who risk their lives for a shot at immigration certainly get the point.
Why?
Because brown people really, really want to be governed by white people.
"This might end with white people telling us what to do, so it's worth it".
And yes, they do put it that bluntly:
I view Islam as inherently, and perhaps incorrigibly, intolerant and violent. But I nonetheless believe that the West and the world generally should be much more open to Muslim immigrants. Why? Because even Muslims shouldn’t have to live under Muslim rule.
The problem with their scheme is that it involves moving millions of people thousands of miles, just to cross an imaginary line on a map to get them closer to a couple of politicians.
A more efficient way would be to move the handful of politicians over that imaginary line, so nobody has to get on rickety rafts or trade tropical paradise for snow in April.
Liberals should love my plan - they like diverse cities over here, why should they deny diversity to the brown countries? Why are you hogging all the diversity to yourselves, liberals? Plus, imagine how much better eco-tourism will be when your next rainforest hike doesn't end with Boko Haram sawing someone's head off.
Now, you may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. Also, my plan has been tried already, the last time we brought white government to brown people, we outlawed slavery (Benito Mussolini freed 2 million slaves, making him a greater emancipator than the Great Emancipator, it would make more sense to have Il Duce's face on the penny).
The other achievements of imperialism: discovering that the cure for ebola is to wash your friggin' hands every now and then, not sawing off people's heads for flying kites, not trying to cure AIDS by telling the infected to rape virgins, not blowing up churches because some schoolchild gave their teddy bear the wrong name, not mutilating the genetalia of little girls, well, you get the point. The millions of people who risk their lives for a shot at immigration certainly get the point.
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