MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part. |
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Posts: 48
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-20-2008, 03:29 PM
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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Stop the presses. Exactly when did I say this?
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Well, you said it here.
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showt...light=macdaddy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
As of now, Landover Baptist Church is the legal guardian of Miss Jennifer. If you'd like to discuss matrimony, click on that Paypal button below and send your *shekels to Jesus.
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and i paid, you can check the paypal records, so perhaps you can remove the infraction points
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Its not fascism if True Christians™ do it
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-20-2008, 03:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Unsaved trash are not allowed to court True Christian™ ladies.
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There is another solution as well, I have shown great enthusiasm and tithed regularly, perhaps.. if it isn't too much trouble, I could be upgraded to member
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Its not fascism if True Christians™ do it
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 38
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-21-2008, 02:54 AM
i am just gonna sum this thread up real quick for all those who came in late.
BarbarianBoi23882:He all j00 sexy ladies, u wan sum secks? lololol i'm cool amiright?!
the ladies: teehee little boys are fun!
the older ladies: TRAMPS! wheres my diaper?
BarbarianBoi23882: why you making fun o me!? ur old and imma tell mah mummy on u!? ;-;
mr. cool: i own you jennyd, cuz that guy over there on the internets said so.
jennyd: Orly?
zeky'ol'boy: no wai!
BarbarianBoi23882: HULK SMAAAAAAAAAASH
(some details were left out due to losing interest in post)
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-21-2008, 03:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Only time will tell
i am just gonna sum this thread up real quick for all those who came in late.
BarbarianBoi23882:He all j00 sexy ladies, u wan sum secks? lololol i'm cool amiright?!
the ladies: teehee little boys are fun!
the older ladies: TRAMPS! wheres my diaper?
BarbarianBoi23882: why you making fun o me!? ur old and imma tell mah mummy on u!? ;-;
mr. cool: i own you jennyd, cuz that guy over there on the internets said so.
jennyd: Orly?
zeky'ol'boy: no wai!
BarbarianBoi23882: HULK SMAAAAAAAAAASH
(some details were left out due to losing interest in post)
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Friend, how many of the drugs have you been taking?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-21-2008, 06:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MacDaddy
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What I said was after you tithed, we could DISCUSS matrimony. We have no intention of selling sister Jenny cheap. Especially to unsaved trash.
Feel free to discuss.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 38
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-21-2008, 06:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by VictoryOS
Friend, how many of the drugs have you been taking?
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i have to say, every post you've ever made that i've bothered to read involves accusing some one of being on "the drugs"
i think your hiding something, but to respond in futility, i have never done any drugs, and have only had one pina colada *however it's spelt* with rum.
i'm twenty one years of age.
i doubt many other of my peers could say the same.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 107
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Unsaved wildnerness of Australia.
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-21-2008, 11:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Only time will tell
i'm twenty one years of age.
i doubt many other of my peers could say the same.
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I think it's likely they could say the same, if they're twenty.
Elsewise, they're probably just too wasted on fag-worthy cocktails and drugs to slur it out.
"She was of a great age, and had lived with a husband seven years from her virginity; And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day" - Luke 2:36-37
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-21-2008, 11:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Only time will tell
i'm twenty one years of age.
i doubt many other of my peers could say the same.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by The Widow Anna
I think it's likely they could say the same, if they're twenty.
Elsewise, they're probably just too wasted on fag-worthy cocktails and drugs to slur it out.
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Amen, sister.
I think what he's trying to say is that all of his friends are crackheads and narcotics pushers who have either overdosed or have died in a hail of Godly police bullets. Either way, Jesus killed them and He'll get around to killing "only time" too.
The amount of marijuana this kid must be on, to make such imbecilic posts, is staggering.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
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Posts: 107
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Location: Unsaved wildnerness of Australia.
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-21-2008, 12:44 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Amen, sister.
I think what he's trying to say is that all of his friends are crackheads and narcotics pushers who have either overdosed or have died in a hail of Godly police bullets. Either way, Jesus killed them and He'll get around to killing "only time" too.
The amount of marijuana this kid must be on, to make such imbecilic posts, is staggering.
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No doubt that's what be means, knowing the way youth are today. However, the young should probably learn to say what they mean properly and with decent grammar! If I wrote such nonsense in my teenage years, well, I wouldn't be around to tell you about it today, Pastor!
"She was of a great age, and had lived with a husband seven years from her virginity; And she was a widow of about fourscore and four years, which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day" - Luke 2:36-37
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
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Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-21-2008, 04:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Only time will tell
i am just gonna sum this thread up real quick for all those who came in late.
BarbarianBoi23882:He all j00 sexy ladies...
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Friend, there are no joos on our forums, with the exception of the retarded Iraqi terrorist Jewsef, and he's hardly what you'd call a sexy lady.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Only time will tell
i think your hiding something, but to respond in futility, i have never done any drugs, and have only had one pina colada *however it's spelt* with rum.
i'm twenty one years of age.
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Do you have any friends, boy? If I were an unsaved young man, then to try and vainly attempt to fill the void in my heart left by the absence of Christ, I would dedicate myself to drinking vast quantities of strong cider with impressionable young feminazi tarts in short skirts and huffing mind-altering chemicals with shabby creatures of indeterminate gender. Of course, I don't need to do those things, because I have Jesus to keep me happy instead. But without the light of God or the brief, false light offered by chemical substances, your pointless life must be bleak indeed.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Unruly True Christian™ Maverick
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
04-26-2008, 01:48 AM
I'M BAAAAAAACK!!!
AND MORE FILLED WITH THE JOY OF JESUS THAN EVER...
GLOOOOOOWWWWWWWW-RRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
Now that I have reached 18 seasons and finally graduated from the GODLESS and SECULAR Des Moines ANTI-educational system of negro coddling, feminazing, and fag enabling I can finally enter unto the earthly KINGDOM of GOD
FREEHOLD IOWA!!!
Now, TRUE CHRISTIAN virgins of EXCELLENT STANDARDS!!!! The most VIRILE, MANLY, and MOST BIBLICALLY ACTIONED WARRIOR OF THE MIGHTY WARHOST OF JESUS HAS RETURNED TO TAKE A MATE. I already have a sweet special lady in mind , but since I was only 17 at the time we meet I won't go mentioning names because the secular leftist will probably try and arrest her for some foolish secular law that they might try and claim she committed even though they have no proof for their vicious slander. (I told you that in confidence Mathew with one "T" and that is why I punched your tongue down your throat and then pulled it out the end where the sun don't shine!! And don't think that just because I'm 18 I'm afraid of being charged as an adult!!! You keep your mouth shut!! I'll deny anything you claim I told you because I told you nothing!!! Nothing, you here me?!?! I will put any of you other Lincoln pukes in wheel chairs - permanently - if you go around repeating his lies!! I am a man of GOD. You won't see it coming.)
ANYWAY, True Christian Ladies, if you've got a STRONG back, tough hair, child bearing hips, a solid firm buttocks, and LOADS OF STAMINA ( yeah, I'm talking to you)you know where to find me... or at least you will - I'M COMING TO FREEHOLD!!! SHOUT GLORY!!!!
WRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
04-26-2008, 01:51 AM
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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hateful Danish communis
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Posts: 266
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Location: Godless Europistan
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
04-26-2008, 02:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
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That's what I'm thinking too.
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
04-26-2008, 05:44 AM
Willpower rules the world.
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
04-26-2008, 05:55 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vayhr of the Warhost
I'M BAAAAAAACK!!!
AND MORE FILLED WITH THE JOY OF JESUS THAN EVER...
GLOOOOOOWWWWWWWW-RRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
Now that I have reached 18 seasons and finally graduated from the GODLESS and SECULAR Des Moines ANTI-educational system of negro coddling, feminazing, and fag enabling
WRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!
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Well, congratulations, Mr. Vayhr, on graduating on your curriculum of negro coddling, feminazing, and fag enabling. I hope you realize that all of these activities are sinful in the eyes of the Lord, and that you will enter into Mrs. Betty Bowers' BASH (Baptists Are Saving Homersexurals) program immediately to begin clearing these perverse ideas from your mind, that you can be Saved©.
Oh, and congratulations on reaching legal adulthood, son.
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hateful Danish communis
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Posts: 266
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
04-26-2008, 05:56 AM
Well, I dunno, Shirlee said at the start of the thread that he might be a twinkie-sucking geek and i'm sure she's not the first one who thought that.
But I can't read his DOF file, so I can't really say.
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
04-26-2008, 06:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magikarp
Well, I dunno, Shirlee said at the start of the thread that he might be a twinkie-sucking geek and i'm sure she's not the first one who thought that.
But I can't read his DOF file, so I can't really say.
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Well, Ms. Phelps-Roper IS wise in the ways of . . . er, fishwifery
But in this case, I think she's right on target. Mister Dungeons and Dragons needs to spend some quality time with Mrs. Bowers, and also eating food that does NOT come with a creme filling!!
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Unruly True Christian™ Maverick
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Posts: 342
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
04-26-2008, 03:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tLakota
Is Sister Talitha or Jenny still interested? I'm sure they're meeting the criteria you've set forth.
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NO WAY!!! Jenny does not meet the criteria. She is scrawny, easily bro ken, bony bottomed, lacks SSSTTTAAAMMMIIINNNAAA, and has no child BEARING hips. She has no upper body strength and her breasts amount to nothing more than overzealous mosquito bites at best. I am sure that there is a man out their for her who is into the young prepubescent boy look, but that man is not me. It is my fervent belief that boyishly handsome females like Jenny were put here by GOD to keep faggot pedophiles out of trouble by offering them a Godly alternative to actual young boys.
Quote:
Originally Posted by tLakota
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I've meet the only person I care about in person already.
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Unruly True Christian™ Maverick
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Posts: 342
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Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
04-26-2008, 03:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
Well, congratulations, Mr. Vayhr, on graduating on your curriculum of negro coddling, feminazing, and fag enabling. I hope you realize that all of these activities are sinful in the eyes of the Lord, and that you will enter into Mrs. Betty Bowers' BASH (Baptists Are Saving Homersexurals) program immediately to begin clearing these perverse ideas from your mind, that you can be Saved©.
Oh, and congratulations on reaching legal adulthood, son.
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This sexual tension you keep projecting towards me with your negative smart alec posts needs to stop. I'm simply not interested and you need to respect that. I know that in those soft cuddly romantic comedies you watch sexual frustration presented by negative banter between a male and female leads to a romantic relationship, but this is real life, Jenny.
We're both adults here. Grow up.
Keep your head up, kiddo. I'm sure you'll find somebody someday.
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
04-26-2008, 06:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vayhr of the Warhost
I've meet the only person I care about in person already.
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I see, so you're on our Godly forum looking for a harlot to pleasure you when Father Martin isn't around?!
DISGUSTING!
Perhaps Dances without Joy can help ya. I hear she's rather a robust gal, AND a Godless harlot.
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