MEET CHRISTIAN SINGLES! Who knows? The love of your life might be here! All the single men are GODLY and all the single ladies are virgins...........for the most part. |
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Unruly True Christian™ Maverick
Forum Member
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Posts: 342
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-17-2008, 05:02 PM
ATTENTION ALL VIRGIN CHRISTIAN WOMEN!!!!!
Make yourselves known to me!!!
ATTENTION ALL WIDOWS OF GOOD MIND AND BODY!!!
Make yourselves known to me!!!
ATTENTION ALL THOSE WOMEN WHO HAVE REDEEMDED THEMSELVES IN CHRIST!!!
Make yourselves known to ME!!!
I'll KNOW that all females who do not reveal themselves are depraved whores who SPIT IN THE FACE OF BABY JESUS!!!! And any fornicating witch who dares to mock the sanctity of the word "TRUE Christian" while being a rotten trollop is deserving of having their vaginas filled with rusty razorblades and their pelvic regions crushed with a spiked iron mace!!!
If you have strong hair that doesn't pull out easily, a firm, hard, and tough body, lots of stamina, and if your faith in Jesus has given you an unusual tolerance for pain let me know. Wide childbearing hips are a major plus!!!
If you like a manly man with stubble, musk, hard sweaty muscles, and being picked up and tossed around that will also be a plus in your favor!!!
MAY THE WILL OF GOD BE DONE!!!!!!
WWWWRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH HHHH!!!
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-17-2008, 05:45 PM
How do you like your Eggs in the Morning Mr Vahhyyrraaaarrrrrgggghhhhh?
I must say, you are a very excitable fellow
Do you like to Wrestle?
I like to Wrestle.
We'll have to stop all of that nasty swearing though. This is a True Christian™ area and if you don't mind your language I'll have to serve you up some nasty Infraction Points.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-18-2008, 06:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
How do you like your Eggs in the Morning Mr Vahhyyrraaaarrrrrgggghhhhh?
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His NAME is Mr. Snugglebunny, I'll have you know!
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 205
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-18-2008, 09:31 AM
I don't know why I'm replying to this, but here I am. I'm not a blaspheming whore, so I guess I have to respond.......
Willpower rules the world.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-18-2008, 11:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tLakota
I don't know why I'm replying to this, but here I am. I'm not a blaspheming whore, so I guess I have to respond.......
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And yet you haven't......
Why have you returned to haunt our Godly forum? Just to waste Christ's bandwidth?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unruly True Christian™ Maverick
Forum Member
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Posts: 342
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-18-2008, 02:24 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
His NAME is Mr. Snugglebunny, I'll have you know!
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AAAGGHHH!!!! I've NEVER snuggled with HER!!!! LIES I TELL YOU!!! LIES!!!!!!
I'm flattered by your interest in me. And like some psycho you've already taken to calling me by a "pet name" even though we've never even meet, but you look alittle frail and fragile by your avatar. I like crazy psycho b!#$%es who post fiery smilies to let all the other ladies know "back off, he's mine" just like any other man, but I'd hate to break you during the baby making process.
Sorry, little lady. I hear there is a little jap kid running around looking for something blonde. I'm sure you could handle him.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-18-2008, 04:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by tLakota
I don't know why I'm replying to this, but here I am. I'm not a blaspheming whore, so I guess I have to respond.......
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Well, you seem to be willing to unquestioningly obey anything a man tells you to do, no matter how bizarre or idiotic the request is. That's a good sign. You could probably do better than this nutjob.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-19-2008, 02:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vayhr of the Warhost
AAAGGHHH!!!! I've NEVER snuggled with HER!!!! LIES I TELL YOU!!! LIES!!!!!!
I'm flattered by your interest in me. And like some psycho you've already taken to calling me by a "pet name" even though we've never even meet, but you look alittle frail and fragile by your avatar. I like crazy psycho b!#$%es who post fiery smilies to let all the other ladies know "back off, he's mine" just like any other man, but I'd hate to break you during the baby making process.
Sorry, little lady. I hear there is a little jap kid running around looking for something blonde. I'm sure you could handle him.
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No thanks, Snugglebunny. Maybe Hirotchi is more your speed?
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True Christian™ Fishwife
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Posts: 163
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-19-2008, 08:13 AM
What is this UnGodly foolishness?!
Young True Christian women flinging themselves like wanton whores at some impotent, Twinkie-sucking geek pretending to be a MAN online?!
I'm embarassed for both of you, Talitha and Jenny. You have not only embarassed yourselves, like Takalakadingdong, but you've humiliated God by playing the harlot over some useless half-wit who doubtless requires his Mommy to help him tie his shoelaces, if not also wipe his behind!
Stop this at once, or I shall track you down after church Sunday . . . and girlies, I won't be bothering with any wooden spoon! You'll get THE BELT!
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-19-2008, 11:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shirlee Phelps-Dodge
What is this UnGodly foolishness?!
Young True Christian women flinging themselves like wanton whores at some impotent, Twinkie-sucking geek pretending to be a MAN online?!
I'm embarassed for both of you, Talitha and Jenny. You have not only embarassed yourselves, like Takalakadingdong, but you've humiliated God by playing the harlot over some useless half-wit who doubtless requires his Mommy to help him tie his shoelaces, if not also wipe his behind!
Stop this at once, or I shall track you down after church Sunday . . . and girlies, I won't be bothering with any wooden spoon! You'll get THE BELT!
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Silence you wrinkled old Fishwife.
Save your energy for kneeling in Church on Sunday.
There are no Harlots within the gates of Freehold.
You are merely envious of our youth.
Proverbs 27: 3-5
A stone is heavy, and the sand weighty; but a fool's wrath is heavier than them both. Wrath is cruel, and anger is outrageous; but who is able to stand before envy? Open rebuke is better than secret love.
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Unruly True Christian™ Maverick
Forum Member
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Posts: 342
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-19-2008, 03:21 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shirlee Phelps-Dodge
What is this UnGodly foolishness?!
Young True Christian women flinging themselves like wanton whores at some impotent, Twinkie-sucking geek pretending to be a MAN online?!
I'm embarassed for both of you, Talitha and Jenny. You have not only embarassed yourselves, like Takalakadingdong, but you've humiliated God by playing the harlot over some useless half-wit who doubtless requires his Mommy to help him tie his shoelaces, if not also wipe his behind!
Stop this at once, or I shall track you down after church Sunday . . . and girlies, I won't be bothering with any wooden spoon! You'll get THE BELT!
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SHUT YOUR TRAP YOU OLD HAG BEFORE I TAKE AN IRON TO YOUR WRINKLED HIDE!!!! There is nothing worse than some old fossilized crone trying to force the uselessness and emptiness of her barren uterus and pathetic unlife on the youth of America!!!! I need my mommy to wipe MY ass!?!?!? You old bat, YOU CAN'T EVEN CONTROL YOUR BOWELS OR BLADDER!!!! GAAAGGGHHHH!!! YOU'VE GOT THIS WHOLE THREAD SMELLING LIKE ASPIRIN AND URINE SOILED DIAPERS!!!
DIE ALREADY, YOU OLE HAG!!! DDDIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-19-2008, 03:50 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shirlee Phelps-Dodge
What is this UnGodly foolishness?!
Young True Christian women flinging themselves like wanton whores at some impotent, Twinkie-sucking geek pretending to be a MAN online?!
I'm embarassed for both of you, Talitha and Jenny. You have not only embarassed yourselves, like Takalakadingdong, but you've humiliated God by playing the harlot over some useless half-wit who doubtless requires his Mommy to help him tie his shoelaces, if not also wipe his behind!
Stop this at once, or I shall track you down after church Sunday . . . and girlies, I won't be bothering with any wooden spoon! You'll get THE BELT!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha
Silence you wrinkled old Fishwife.
Save your energy for kneeling in Church on Sunday.
There are no Harlots within the gates of Freehold.
You are merely envious of our youth.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-19-2008, 03:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitoshi
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Why did you just post a picture of your lunch?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Professor of Engrish
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Posts: 443
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: original is Japan but now am student in America here (am go for be engineer)
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-19-2008, 04:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Why did you just post a picture of your lunch?
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here is what lunch look like after I am process it
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 48
Join Date: Jan 2008
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-19-2008, 06:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
His NAME is Mr. Snugglebunny, I'll have you know!
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How dare you speak to him in this way JennyD, Pastor Ezekiel has already agreed that you are to be my property. I think it is time to dish out some discipline
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Its not fascism if True Christians™ do it
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Honorary True Christian™ Sweet Placid Sister
Forum Member
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Posts: 9,562
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Surrounded by hippie vermin
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-19-2008, 07:11 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MacDaddy
How dare you speak to him in this way JennyD, Pastor Ezekiel has already agreed that you are to be my property. I think it is time to dish out some discipline
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Yeah, right after you pay my earthly father fifty shekels.
Good luck finding him. He was last seen in an out-of-control thresher. I suggest you start your search there.
And as for YOU, Shirlee, you mind your own business! Talitha is right, you're just jealous of our youth and beauty, you vicious old crone!
Did you get Mr. Snugglebunny's DOF file? He isn't really some helpless, stoop-shouldered, scrawny little geek boy of 13 with questionable hygiene who lives in Mommy's basement, is he?
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Deaconess Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-19-2008, 07:20 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JennyD
Did you get Mr. Snugglebunny's DOF file? He isn't really some helpless, stoop-shouldered, scrawny little geek boy of 13 with questionable hygiene who lives in Mommy's basement, is he?
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Actually Sister Jenny, he's 17....................... but who's counting
Sister Talitha
Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.
HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 48
Join Date: Jan 2008
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-19-2008, 08:34 PM
I don't think anyone has mentioned this yet, but I believe there is a perfect girl who meets your description at the following link.
http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=4318
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Its not fascism if True Christians™ do it
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-20-2008, 03:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MacDaddy
How dare you speak to him in this way JennyD, Pastor Ezekiel has already agreed that you are to be my property. I think it is time to dish out some discipline
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Stop the presses. Exactly when did I say this?
Unsaved trash are not allowed to court True Christian™ ladies. Gracie, however, is still available at a steep discount.
And we are still awaiting your Tithe, heathen.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unruly True Christian™ Maverick
Forum Member
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Posts: 342
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: POSSIBLE MATE FOR CHRIST'S WARRIOR!!!! -
01-20-2008, 07:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MacDaddy
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I don't mind a CHUBBY female. I don't even mind a woman other people would generally considered to be FAT... as LONG AS SHE MAINTAINS THE GENERAL CURVATURE AND FEMININITY OF A WOMAN!!!!! YOU KNOW - PRETTY FACE, WIDE HIPS, NARROWER WAIST, THIGHS THICK, CALVES NOT AS THICK, BIG ROUND BUTTOX, NOT FLAT, WIDE, AND BOX SHAPED, ET CETERA!!!!!
That "girl" is more... how do you say, BOVINE!!! Her mass is inapropriately centered in her torso TAKING AWAY ALL SEMBLANCE OF HUMANITY!!!
WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?!?!? DON'T YOU DAGOS NORMALLY JUST BUGGER YOUR SISTERS?? OR IS IT YOUR MOTHERS? I CAN NEVER REMEMBER.
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