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Promise Enforcers - Men Only! We make Promise Keepers look like homers! No homosexuals or women allowed!

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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 11-07-2015, 11:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
Top Ten Reasons YOU will burn in Hell:

1. You are a sinning idiot (James 2:10).
2. You are a sinning idiot (Deuteronomy 4:2).
3. You are a sinning idiot (Mark 16:16).
4. You are a sinning idiot (Genesis 38:9-10).
5. You are a sinning idiot (Exodus 20:7).
6. You are a sinning idiot (Matthew 12:32).
7. You are a sinning idiot (Romans 12:11).
8. You are a sinning idiot (Job 34:11).
9. You are a sinning idiot (Matthew 7:13-14).
10. You are a sinning idiot (Romans 3:23).


Enjoy Hell!
Amen brother. And that's no joke!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 11-08-2015, 04:08 AM

Because I know Jesus had and HAS a strong heart, I wish we would be more careful. Sometimes we have to look within, which is where our faith comes from.
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Unhappy Re: Manly Jokes - 11-08-2015, 04:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Achaia View Post
Because I know Jesus had and HAS a strong heart, I wish we would be more careful. Sometimes we have to look within, which is where our faith comes from.
I am very sorry, Mr. Achaia but I fail to understand the joke. I do admit that I am man more familiar with the serious, utterly serious message of the Bible and Creation Science and, thus, this could be a deficiency from my part. Still, even the patriarchs knew when to laugh.

Genesis 12:12
Then Abraham fell upon his face, and laughed, and said in his heart, Shall a child be born unto him that is an hundred years old? and shall Sarah, that is ninety years old, bear?

Verily, God gave us laughter.



Seriously, though, I failed to understand the joke.


Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 11-08-2015, 04:17 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Achaia View Post
Because I know Jesus had and HAS a strong heart, I wish we would be more careful. Sometimes we have to look within, which is where our faith comes from.
This statement seems contradictory to Ephesians 2:8, so I'd like to see any Scriptural support you can provide that this is true.

Ephesians 2:8 For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God.

Yours in Christ,

Zech


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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 11-09-2015, 02:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tedalmos View Post
Top Ten Reasons That Beer Is Better Than Jesus:-
a) No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
b) Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.
c) They don't force beer on minors who cannot think for themselves.
d) Beer has never caused a major war.
e) When you have a beer you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.
f) Nobody has ever been burned at the stake, hanged or tortured over a beer.
g) You don't have to wait 2000 years for a second beer.
h) There are laws saying beer labels cannot lie to you.
I) You can prove you have a beer.
j) If you are devoted to beer then there are groups who can help you stop.
"beer has never forced war on anyone" have you heard of "The Beer War of 1380"??


Proverbs 15:26 - The thoughts of the wicked [are] an abomination to the LORD: but [the words] of the pure [are] pleasant words

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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 11-23-2015, 06:49 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Achaia View Post
Because I know Jesus had and HAS a strong heart, I wish we would be more careful. Sometimes we have to look within, which is where our faith comes from.
HAHAHA! What a silly jest! Oh, boy the jokes in here can get pretty absurd, can't they?!

Here's another one...

What's the difference between negroids and snow tires?
Negroids don't sing when you put chains on them!

PRAISE GOD!


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-Youth Minister Harry Lester
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 11-24-2015, 12:07 AM

What is worse then beeing black or a muslim?

Beeing a black muslim
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 11-24-2015, 05:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton View Post
What is worse then beeing black or a muslim?

Beeing a black muslim
Aren't they all coons?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 11-26-2015, 05:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Aren't they all coons?
Mohamadens = sand nigras.


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Bomb Re: Manly Jokes - 12-19-2015, 12:33 PM

I'm a woman. These jokes are manly.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 12-19-2015, 09:23 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonicaMatei View Post
I'm a woman. These jokes are manly.
Dear femnazi;

This section of the forum is clearly marked MEN ONLY. It doesn't matter to Jesus or me that you dress yourself up in men's clothing and run around calling yourself "Butch." God is not easily fooled by such tricks. Unless He blessed you with a tallywhacker (excuse my French), then you are not a man and therefore UNWELCOME in this thread.

Kindly go make a thread of your own in the "introductions" thread and tell us about your house cleaning tips and your pie crust secrets.

YIC,

--Pastor Ezekiel


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Bomb Re: Manly Jokes - 12-20-2015, 03:30 PM

Calm down, I'm not a feminazi, and I can't cook. You know, not all women can do housework and stuff like that and not all men can be "manly", and also I know that I'm not welcome in this thread.😴
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 12-20-2015, 05:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonicaMatei View Post
Calm down, I'm not a feminazi, and I can't cook. You know, not all women can do housework and stuff like that and not all men can be "manly", and also I know that I'm not welcome in this thread.😴

There you have it - admitting to micro-aggression, and you expect us not to be triggered?


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brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Bomb Re: Manly Jokes - 12-20-2015, 06:08 PM

Dude, the only reason I'm on this site is because I want to trigger your rage. Hope you get mad. And I'll make sure to break even more rules.
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 12-20-2015, 06:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonicaMatei View Post
...Hope you get mad...
Know what would really piss them off? Reading the Bible so you have half a clue of what Christianity really is. Yeah, they hate it when you do that.


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Bomb Re: Manly Jokes - 12-20-2015, 07:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Didymus Much View Post
Know what would really piss them off? Reading the Bible so you have half a clue of what Christianity really is. Yeah, they hate it when you do that.
Thanks for the advice, man, but I don't want to die of laughter. Also they called me "obese whore of satan", which is funny 'cause I'm underweight.


Myarf
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 12-21-2015, 07:57 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by MonicaMatei View Post
Dude, the only reason I'm on this site is because I want to trigger your rage. Hope you get mad. And I'll make sure to break even more rules.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MonicaMatei View Post
Thanks for the advice, man, but I don't want to die of laughter. Also they called me "obese whore of satan", which is funny 'cause I'm underweight.
This is a "Joke" thread, and all you've done is derail it - and it's frankly not funny. You post one more thing in this thread that is not a joke and you will be banned.


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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 12-22-2015, 12:55 AM

Heroin skinny?


Mark 13:22
“For false Christs and false prophets shall rise, and shall shew signs and wonders, to seduce, if it were possible, even the elect.”
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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 12-22-2015, 05:54 PM

Want to hear a joke?

Obama


Proverbs 15:26 - The thoughts of the wicked [are] an abomination to the LORD: but [the words] of the pure [are] pleasant words

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Default Re: Manly Jokes - 12-23-2015, 05:07 AM

What does Barack Obama call illegal aliens?

Undocumented democrats.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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