Creation Science The origins of life and the earth from a creationist (Biblical) perspective. |
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A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
07-27-2011, 05:00 PM
This is what colleges, high schools, mainstream media, museums, libraries, and other wicked places of misinformation teach:
In the beginning there was this:
Which then somehow "came to life" via unknown means (lightning strike, pole shift, voodoo curse, who knows?)...
One-celled organisms. Then they magically bunch up and create multicellular life...
Which became more complex...
Turning into fish...
Which then somehow grew lungs, arms, and legs, and went ashore...
Which then got killed out, but not before turning into mice...
Which then became monkeys...
And finally....became us!
And these idiots dare to call our story of creation a "fairy tale"!
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
07-27-2011, 05:51 PM
I DARE any Secularist to look at that the first picture of a steaming pile of shit and EXPLAIN to me how it turned into Reverend Osborne ! Evolution is SUPPOSED to be gradual change over time, animals just adapting their forums in reaction to environmental pressure. Well Atheists, if this is true THEN show how deep down Jim is a just a boiling pit of toxic mud in the shape of a man.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
07-27-2011, 06:00 PM
I am a peaceful person by nature, but if anyone came up to me and implied in even the most roundabout fashion that you, one of the most well-respected people in the world, had evolved from mud I would scissor-kick them into next week.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
07-27-2011, 06:06 PM
Amen Reverend! Atheists wonder why we laugh at them, but how can you not laugh. They will believe ANYTHING.
Atheists say that evolution is a gradual process but if you asked them to look at your pictures and provide the links between the species they just can't do it.
By the way, your good lady wife is a real Honey.
YiC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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True Christian™ Televangelist Director of Fundraising and Tithing On the Look Out for Wife #6!
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
07-28-2011, 05:05 PM
Well, I used myself as an example of the evolutionist "mud -> human" theory, since I needed a supreme example of a human being at their best, and didn't need to look any further than myself.
Also, the lady in the picture is not my wife unfortunately, but rather my close female friend Jan Crouch. (You probably don't recognize her because that's a new shade of pink in her hair.)
Watch the #1 Televangelist Gospel Hour in the World! "Turn or Burn: Accept Christ or Go to Hell with Rev. Jim Osborne." Check your local cable listings.
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
07-28-2011, 05:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
Well, I used myself as an example of the evolutionist "mud -> human" theory, since I needed a supreme example of a human being at their best, and didn't need to look any further than myself.
Also, the lady in the picture is not my wife unfortunately, but rather my close female friend Jan Crouch. (You probably don't recognize her because that's a new shade of pink in her hair.)
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Well Paul Crouch is a VERY lucky man. The Lord has truly blessed him with a mighty fine looking lady.
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
07-28-2011, 05:34 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
Also, the lady in the picture is not my wife unfortunately, but rather my close female friend Jan Crouch. (You probably don't recognize her because that's a new shade of pink in her hair.)
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What? Then what about that retreat in Phoenix Rev?
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
07-28-2011, 06:54 PM
No child should have to be taught the lie that they are an animal that came from mud.
The results of this teaching are self-evident: It causes them to have no sense of worth, and that in turn leads them to act like animals who shoot up their schools, have premarital sex, and cuss.
If schools would instead teach the truth about how we came from dirt, NOT mud, I think that kids today would have a lot more respect for themselves and their fellow dirt-o-sapians.
And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. - Genesis 2:7
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
07-28-2011, 07:56 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. Jim Osborne
And these idiots dare to call our story of creation a "fairy tale"!
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It's obvious all those animals are different from each other.
And if you've ever owned a mouse, or even observed one for a while, you know they don't change into dinosaurs and back again at whim.
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Unsaved trash, teenaged pervert
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
08-06-2011, 05:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe
I DARE any Secularist to look at that the first picture of a steaming pile of shit and EXPLAIN to me how it turned into Reverend Osborne ! Evolution is SUPPOSED to be gradual change over time, animals just adapting their forums in reaction to environmental pressure. Well Atheists, if this is true THEN show how deep down Jim is a just a boiling pit of toxic mud in the shape of a man.
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Actually brothers, there is a pretty interesting experiment you can do that shows this! It's called the Miller-Urey experiment and if you perform it, you can actually create prokaryotes (pre-cursors to cells)! It's interesting, because it shows how life could have possibly arisen, even in the primordial ooze of early earth! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller%...rey_experiment
May god's love be upon you.
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Pastor of Praise and Worship A True Christian™ Straight Shooter
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
08-06-2011, 06:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonjay
Actually brothers, there is a pretty interesting experiment you can do that shows this! It's called the Miller-Urey experiment and if you perform it, you can actually create prokaryotes (pre-cursors to cells)! It's interesting, because it shows how life could have possibly arisen, even in the primordial ooze of early earth! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller%...rey_experiment
May god's love be upon you.
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Yeah, has anyone gone any further than that experiment of 60 years ago? Has anyone ever created cells or anything closer to life than that?
I think you already know the answer.
Praise and worship with Pastor Will. Services at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.
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With faith as immovable as the Earth
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
08-06-2011, 07:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by sonjay
Actually brothers, there is a pretty interesting experiment you can do that shows this! It's called the Miller-Urey experiment and if you perform it, you can actually create prokaryotes (pre-cursors to cells)! It's interesting, because it shows how life could have possibly arisen, even in the primordial ooze of early earth! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miller%...rey_experiment
May god's love be upon you.
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Ok, so they made some ingredients, big deal. Did they create life? No. Could they? No.
That experiment was done in the fifties. If evolution was true their mud in a test tube should be a monkey by now.
Here is the answer,
Genesis 2:7 And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.
YiC
Jack
Genesis 22:2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.
I know God wouldn't let me believe in Him if He didn't exist.
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
08-06-2011, 11:06 PM
How is that less believable than a son of a virgin mother (HINT: even if there was no penetration, when a baby is born, he destroys the hymen on his way out) that was concieved by a dove, that turns water into wine and becomes a friggen zombie 3 days after dead? If I get reported, it will only show how you fear the striking truth: It's all about faith. Only we have fossils to more or less theorize about evolution, but to theorize about jesus we only have a man-translated book that has gone ages "unmodified"
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
08-07-2011, 12:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by drkztan
How is that less believable than a son of a virgin mother (HINT: even if there was no penetration, when a baby is born, he destroys the hymen on his way out) that was concieved by a dove, that turns water into wine and becomes a friggen zombie 3 days after dead? If I get reported, it will only show how you fear the striking truth: It's all about faith. Only we have fossils to more or less theorize about evolution, but to theorize about jesus we only have a man-translated book that has gone ages "unmodified"
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You worship Charles Darwin and think your grandfather was a gorilla, but you want to tell us that believing in God is ridiculous?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Unsaved Trash, Rabid godmocker
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
08-07-2011, 09:43 AM
Of course my grandfather wasn't a gorilla. In fact, gorillas are one of the primates with whom we have less in common, as our common ancestor diverged a pretty long time ago. Maybe you're getting it wrong, as he was in a gUErilla fighting for my country (health guard, he was in charge of mending war refugees up)
Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
08-07-2011, 09:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
You worship Charles Darwin and think your grandfather was a gorilla, but you want to tell us that believing in God is ridiculous?
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Even if you support evolution, it has nothing to do with the guy who came with the idea. In science you worship no one, in real life you don't worship some one to agree with. Apparently in your fantasy world you must, too bad it isn't.
I also see that you don't understand the whole idea of evolution, why wouldn't you just shut up about it and read at least once about this evolution idea.
Why wouldn't you just be curious and see what happens if you actually listen to someone with different views?
I know this is my first post but I don't really care if I don't say what my favorite verse is. It's an old religious book, in middle of other religious books, be a little more creative.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
08-07-2011, 10:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Kirk
Even if you support evolution, it has nothing to do with the guy who came with the idea. In science you worship no one, in real life you don't worship some one to agree with. Apparently in your fantasy world you must, too bad it isn't.
I also see that you don't understand the whole idea of evolution, why wouldn't you just shut up about it and read at least once about this evolution idea.
Why wouldn't you just be curious and see what happens if you actually listen to someone with different views?
I know this is my first post but I don't really care if I don't say what my favorite verse is. It's an old religious book, in middle of other religious books, be a little more creative.
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Why all the hate, friend? We are simply a group of peaceful, like-minded Christians who get together to glorify Our Lord Jesus Christ, and you come in here spitting directly in the face of God.
Why?
If you would simply cast your hate to the wayside and join us, all of your innumerable problems would be washed away.
(1 Peter 5:6-7) "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."
I'll be praying that you come to your senses.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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Unsaved Trash, Rabid godmocker
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
08-07-2011, 11:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
Why all the hate, friend? We are simply a group of peaceful, like-minded Christians who get together to glorify Our Lord Jesus Christ, and you come in here spitting directly in the face of God.
Why?
If you would simply cast your hate to the wayside and join us, all of your innumerable problems would be washed away.
(1 Peter 5:6-7) "Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you."
I'll be praying that you come to your senses.
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
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WOW! I never thought ANYONE had such a tremendous ability to just not listen to anything that was said in a post! Not even on 4chan! Mr. Zechariah, you didn't even read the post, didn't you?
I love how so after "reading" a post where someone urges you to just have a look at a theory, and you don't, you ask for him to "cast your hate to the wayside and join us"
Seriously, why do you bother? If you don't even read an article about neodarwinism, how do you expect us to "join you"?
Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
08-07-2011, 11:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by drkztan
How is that less believable than a son of a virgin mother (HINT: even if there was no penetration, when a baby is born, he destroys the hymen on his way out) that was concieved by a dove, that turns water into wine and becomes a friggen zombie 3 days after dead? If I get reported, it will only show how you fear the striking truth: It's all about faith. Only we have fossils to more or less theorize about evolution, but to theorize about jesus we only have a man-translated book that has gone ages "unmodified"
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Are you a Russian Orthodox or something? Perhaps your name is meant to suggest "Doctor Kyrgyzstan"? Either group, however advanced their apostacy, is expecting Jesus to return in which case you need to explain:
1 - where is He now?
2 - how did He get there?
Quote:
Originally Posted by drkztan
Of course my grandfather wasn't a gorilla. In fact, gorillas are one of the primates with whom we have less in common, as our common ancestor diverged a pretty long time ago. Maybe you're getting it wrong, as he was in a gUErilla fighting for my country (health guard, he was in charge of mending war refugees up)
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Perhaps you'd like to list some primates having more in common with us than a gorilla? according to your disjointed theory?
If doing a Google bear in mind that we often get "genetic %ages" quoted at us here and have plenty of your own false material to quote back at you in refutation of whichever falsehood you might be about to suggest.
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Unsaved Trash, Rabid godmocker
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Re: A Picture Guide to the Joke that is the Theory of Evolution -
08-07-2011, 11:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MitzaLizalor
Are you a Russian Orthodox or something? Perhaps your name is meant to suggest "Doctor Kyrgyzstan"? Either group, however advanced their apostacy, is expecting Jesus to return in which case you need to explain:
1 - where is He now?
2 - how did He get there?
Perhaps you'd like to list some primates having more in common with us than a gorilla? according to your disjointed theory?
If doing a Google bear in mind that we often get "genetic %ages" quoted at us here and have plenty of your own false material to quote back at you in refutation of whichever falsehood you might be about to suggest.
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Not russian, I'm actually an american living in spain. Drkztan is just a game of words with my name stanley->stan->ztan (I like Z's) and dark->drk. Hence drkztan.
We have more in common with chimpanzees rather than gorillas. False material? More false than "because He says so"? Oh please, show me
Psalm 14:1 The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God. They are corrupt, they have done
abominable works, there is none that doeth good.
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