Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > The introduction forum
Reload this Page How do I close my account?
The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
John c8v7 John c8v7 is offline
Unsaved trash, Suspected false Christian Democrat
Under Investigation

Fluffy bunny

 
Posts: 12
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: That's not a location
John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default How do I close my account? - 10-07-2015, 10:27 PM

How? How? How?


And Israel abode in Shittim, and the people began to commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab. - Numbers 25:1
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Cranky Old Man's Avatar
Cranky Old Man Cranky Old Man is offline
Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah
You kids get off his lawn!
 

True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Christian Love Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Gunfest '09 Ex-Masturbator Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound 1st Year Bible College Punched the most queers Public Awareness Medal Public Awareness Medal One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award True Christian Nerd Flat Earth The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Touched by Jesus Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Trump of GOD True Christian Artist God's chosen ones Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Paula Deen Negro Support Group True Christian Hotrodder 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Life Crown of Incorruptibility 20,000 posts BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Clorox Cured Me Anti-Biden F1 for God

 
Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Cranky Old Man will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I close my account? - 10-07-2015, 10:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7 View Post
How? How? How?
Open your window, throw out your computer, close your window. To be absolutely sure, also burn your house to the ground.

Or, just stop visiting this site...


Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Saved from Communism

 
Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I close my account? - 10-07-2015, 10:32 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7 View Post
How? How? How?
I'm confused. Does that mean that I should take you off my prayers list?
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Alvin Moss's Avatar
Alvin Moss Alvin Moss is offline
Serving Jesus
True Christian™

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Proud Niglet Sponsorer Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts Ex-Masturbator Friend of Jesus Sons of Liberty Porn Resistant Early riser Tell her once Persecuted Bronze Tither Punched the most queers Mission to Korea Trump of GOD True Republican Donald Trump 2016! 2015 Witch Hunt Award Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Hands Off True Heterosexual™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Nuke of Heaven Crown of Glory Mower Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Alvin Moss will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I close my account? - 10-07-2015, 10:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7 View Post
How? How? How?
Press and hold down the control button (ctrl). Then press and hold down the alt button. Then find and press the delete button. This procedure may take three hands.

You will not be able to remove the part of the site that lets our Security and Investigations Ministry watch you whenever your computer is turned on. Also, you are very ugly, which has proven to be a common condition among the unsaved.


God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
Reply With Quote
(#5)
Old
Back against wall's Avatar
Back against wall Back against wall is offline
Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™

Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Touched by Jesus Kangi Honorary Ex-Negro/Negress/Nigglet Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Ex-negro True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Kirk Cameron Fan Club Porn Resistant Prayer Warrior Tell her once Mission to Australia True Christian Artist Trump of GOD Anti-sodomy Truck Stop Ministry Member Pancake Dinner Guns, Guts and GLORY! Hatchet Child Rearing Award Mission to Messico Hands Off True Christian Hotrodder Color wheel 2015 Witch Hunt Award The Ant One Year/1000 posts Punched the most queers Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Stamp of Approval God's chosen ones Pastor Ezekiel

 
Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Back against wall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I close my account? - 10-07-2015, 10:49 PM

You can't (less Cranky's suggestion, window, fire) We may need you in the future. My particular Bible group, The Mafia "Men Against Faggots In Australia" are planning a trip to Gods Country (America) to meet up with "Men Against Faggots In America" and there are some people we need to look up. As a part of our conversion process we need filthy crack whores like you and if (when) we need your skankness, JesOS can help us get in contact.


Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.


Reply With Quote
(#6)
Old
Mary Etheldreda's Avatar
Mary Etheldreda Mary Etheldreda is offline
Gushing for Jesus
 

Protected by JESUS Christian Love Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Cleanest Kitchen Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Real American™ True Christian Caucasian Persecuted Pro-Life Most Obedient Friend of Jesus True Christian Homemaker True Christian Beauty 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College True Republican Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls Quiverful Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls Super Soaker Baptism Award 3rd Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts True Christian Lady Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Tomato Staker Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Saved 1 Year Prayer Warrior The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking The Hatchet Child Rearing Award 4th Year Bible College Paula Deen Negro Support Group TC Bravery Touched by Jesus Heart of compassion Babysitter Stamp of Approval Home Schooled Trump of GOD Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch The Lord’s Witness Wound The Lord’s Witness Wound Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mama Grizzly Platinum Tither Best stoning bucket 2015 Witch Hunt Award Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory Crown of Rejoicing Saved 5 Years BFF of Jesus Gunfest '14 Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts 20,000 posts Crown of Righteousness Flat Earth Anti-abortion GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden Public Awareness Medal

 
Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Mary Etheldreda will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I close my account? - 10-07-2015, 11:57 PM

But why?

God will simply open someone's eyes to the Truth if they but seek It (Matthew 7:7). He won't force Himself on anyone*. The Bible speaks for Itself. It is the most read book in the world. Every minute of every day someone is thirsting to know the Truth, and we have no other desire than to bring It, and subsequent conversion and fear, to every man on earth (Matthew 28:16-20).

When someone wants to know what E = MC squared means, they don't argue with people what it's not. They go to a scholarly source. They learn from the Learned Authority (Hebrews 13:17). You're not really looking for answers, you're just looking to validate your anger, your bitterness, your disappointment with your life. But really, it is your soul crying out for it's Creator! Don't shut it down, friend! Set it free (Galatians 5:1)!

The Bible is the most action-packed book you can ever read. It's also the most historically accurate ever written. Can you imagine if someone wrote a book about what goes on today what it would look like? Abortion, murder, rape, adultery, Mtv... the list goes on. Abortion happened in the Bible just as it happens today. Rape happened in the Bible just as it happens today. But ... love, faith, courage in the face of insurmountable obstacles, triumph ... equally amazing things happened in the Bible compared to the sad things that happened. Only, there's more. There's one thing we can never reproduce by our own efforts.

The difference with the Holy Bible is that there's an Answer to the sad things. That's Jesus. The thing that remains is Salvation. In the beginning, Jesus existed (John 1:1) and was, is and always will be perfect (Psalm 18:30). He CANNOT look on sin, because it goes against what He is . So, because of our sinful nature, we would be sentenced to death (Romans 6:23). All of us.

But Jesus took on this debt for us (Colossians 2:14). He temporarily DIED so that we wouldn't have to die for all eternity! He sacrificed Himself to Himself to placate His Holy Anger and yet appease His Holy Nature of Heavenly Mercy, a miraculous answer to an impossible problem!

So now, there is Jesus, who is also God and the Holy Spirit. Because of this, you and I can receive the Holy Spirit in our bodies and thus receive salvation if we BELIEVE and look for True Answers. Because of this, in turn, when we meet God, He will literally see Himself in our hearts, and how can He deny Himself Heaven - HIS OWN HOME? He cannot. That would be like denying yourself entry into your own home. YOUR OWN HOME. Because of Jesus, we can look God in the face. If someone does not have Jesus in their heart, they will live eternally some place in Hell. Beloved, God will not let strangers into His home.

So, this is nothing new. True Christians™ have been sharing this Good News for thousands of years. You will probably read this and get really angry and refute the information, or maybe you will think I am insane, etc. However, the fact remains. This is where the rubber meets the road. We simply believe, or we don't believe. Our eternal LIVES are at stake, but no one can force you to have Faith. So, forgive me for not following this thread. I can only bang my head against a wall for so long.

Won't you pray to Him for Healing? Won't you bury your sorrows in His Divine Lap, and let His Love comfort you while you learn the joys of worshiping and serving Him?






* some restrictions may apply
Romans 9:18
Exodus 9:12
Deuteronomy 2:30
Isaiah 6:10
Jeremiah 17:92
2 Thessalonians 2:11
1 Kings 22:22
Jeremiah 4:10


Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

Reply With Quote
(#7)
Old
Rodrigo's Avatar
Rodrigo Rodrigo is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 37
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Far to the Right
Rodrigo has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Rodrigo has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Rodrigo has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Rodrigo has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Rodrigo has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Rodrigo has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Rodrigo has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Rodrigo has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Thumbs up Re: How do I close my account? - 10-08-2015, 01:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post
But why?

God will simply open someone's eyes to the Truth if they but seek It (Matthew 7:7). He won't force Himself on anyone*. The Bible speaks for Itself. It is the most read book in the world. Every minute of every day someone is thirsting to know the Truth, and we have no other desire than to bring It, and subsequent conversion and fear, to every man on earth (Matthew 28:16-20).

When someone wants to know what E = MC squared means, they don't argue with people what it's not. They go to a scholarly source. They learn from the Learned Authority (Hebrews 13:17). You're not really looking for answers, you're just looking to validate your anger, your bitterness, your disappointment with your life. But really, it is your soul crying out for it's Creator! Don't shut it down, friend! Set it free (Galatians 5:1)!

The Bible is the most action-packed book you can ever read. It's also the most historically accurate ever written. Can you imagine if someone wrote a book about what goes on today what it would look like? Abortion, murder, rape, adultery, Mtv... the list goes on. Abortion happened in the Bible just as it happens today. Rape happened in the Bible just as it happens today. But ... love, faith, courage in the face of insurmountable obstacles, triumph ... equally amazing things happened in the Bible compared to the sad things that happened. Only, there's more. There's one thing we can never reproduce by our own efforts.

The difference with the Holy Bible is that there's an Answer to the sad things. That's Jesus. The thing that remains is Salvation. In the beginning, Jesus existed (John 1:1) and was, is and always will be perfect (Psalm 18:30). He CANNOT look on sin, because it goes against what He is . So, because of our sinful nature, we would be sentenced to death (Romans 6:23). All of us.

But Jesus took on this debt for us (Colossians 2:14). He temporarily DIED so that we wouldn't have to die for all eternity! He sacrificed Himself to Himself to placate His Holy Anger and yet appease His Holy Nature of Heavenly Mercy, a miraculous answer to an impossible problem!

So now, there is Jesus, who is also God and the Holy Spirit. Because of this, you and I can receive the Holy Spirit in our bodies and thus receive salvation if we BELIEVE and look for True Answers. Because of this, in turn, when we meet God, He will literally see Himself in our hearts, and how can He deny Himself Heaven - HIS OWN HOME? He cannot. That would be like denying yourself entry into your own home. YOUR OWN HOME. Because of Jesus, we can look God in the face. If someone does not have Jesus in their heart, they will live eternally some place in Hell. Beloved, God will not let strangers into His home.

So, this is nothing new. True Christians™ have been sharing this Good News for thousands of years. You will probably read this and get really angry and refute the information, or maybe you will think I am insane, etc. However, the fact remains. This is where the rubber meets the road. We simply believe, or we don't believe. Our eternal LIVES are at stake, but no one can force you to have Faith. So, forgive me for not following this thread. I can only bang my head against a wall for so long.

Won't you pray to Him for Healing? Won't you bury your sorrows in His Divine Lap, and let His Love comfort you while you learn the joys of worshiping and serving Him?






* some restrictions may apply
Romans 9:18
Exodus 9:12
Deuteronomy 2:30
Isaiah 6:10
Jeremiah 17:92
2 Thessalonians 2:11
1 Kings 22:22
Jeremiah 4:10
God bless you, Mary, for that post; it is beautiful and full of His annointing. I wish I could open a second LOB account!


Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. - Psalm 46:10
Reply With Quote
(#8)
Old
VictoryOS's Avatar
VictoryOS VictoryOS is offline
True Christian™ Beauty Queen
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ True Christian Beauty True Christian Lady True Christian Homemaker True Heterosexual™ Best Pie Tin Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Eats the Most Pork Christian Love Victory Over Sex True Republican Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Roper Crossburn Trumpette Home Schooled Saved 5 Years 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Long service medal, 3rd class Trump of GOD Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus GLORY Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!VictoryOS will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I close my account? - 10-08-2015, 05:20 AM

There's no "Uninstall" on the Book of Life, son.


Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016

Reply With Quote
(#9)
Old
Ezekiel Bathfire's Avatar
Ezekiel Bathfire Ezekiel Bathfire is offline
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance
Christ's Rottweiler
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Christian Love Real American™ Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Scientist™ Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot TC Bravery Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Eats the Most Pork True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Nuts for JESUS! Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Mower Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Bathfire Crown of Life Alternative Facts Probing for Jesus 20,000 posts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Ezekiel Bathfire will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I close my account? - 10-08-2015, 02:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7 View Post
How do I close my account? How? How? How?
Landover Baptist Church apologizes for the delay in giving you a reply to your question about your account.

We deal with accounts in accordance with

Re:20:12: And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.

You account at Landover is one of the books that will be opened on Judgment Day.

We cannot deprive God of this valuable source of evidence.

I suggest you depart and prepare yourself for the stench, heat and darkness of an eternity in the Pits of Hell.

If you have any questions about donations to Landover Baptist, please write directly to Pastor Ezekiel.





“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
Reply With Quote
(#10)
Old
John c8v7 John c8v7 is offline
Unsaved trash, Suspected false Christian Democrat
Under Investigation

Fluffy bunny

 
Posts: 12
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: That's not a location
John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.John c8v7 is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: How do I close my account? - 10-08-2015, 09:58 PM

Uhh, so when I close an internet account God doesn't know what was in it? Blasphemy.


And Israel abode in Shittim, and the people began to commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab. - Numbers 25:1
Reply With Quote
(#11)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Saved from Communism

 
Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Bible Re: How do I close my account? - 10-08-2015, 10:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7 View Post
Uhh, so when I close an internet account God doesn't know what was in it? Blasphemy.


Sweetie, God probably knew that He was going to hate you when you were still in the womb:

Psalm 58:3 The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.

However, the record of the extent of your foolishness is necessary for the salvation of other people.
Reply With Quote
(#12)
Old
Fred Hall's Avatar
Fred Hall Fred Hall is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Friend of Jesus Trump of GOD Ex-Masturbator Christian Love Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award

 
Posts: 103
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: On the narrow road to Salvation™
Fred Hall has bribed people to get these reputation points.Fred Hall has bribed people to get these reputation points.Fred Hall has bribed people to get these reputation points.Fred Hall has bribed people to get these reputation points.Fred Hall has bribed people to get these reputation points.Fred Hall has bribed people to get these reputation points.Fred Hall has bribed people to get these reputation points.Fred Hall has bribed people to get these reputation points.Fred Hall has bribed people to get these reputation points.Fred Hall has bribed people to get these reputation points.Fred Hall has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: How do I close my account? - 10-09-2015, 03:25 AM

Hi John,

Did you try prayer? Ya know, if you pray hard enough to Jesus, anything is possible. Therefore, if your account is never deleted, then you're simply not praying hard enough... and you only have yourself to blame.


"With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men." - Judges 15:16
Reply With Quote
(#13)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I close my account? - 10-09-2015, 03:58 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7 View Post
Uhh, so when I close an internet account God doesn't know what was in it? Blasphemy.
You can't close your account on Jesus. He is always watching you.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#14)
Old
WilliamJenningsBryan's Avatar
WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
True Christian™
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Real American™ Gold Tither Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS TC Bravery Christian Love Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Nerd True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Home Schooled Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life True Republican Eats the Most Pork Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Prayer Warrior Early riser Touched by Jesus Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Anti-sodomy Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Righteousness Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire

 
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!WilliamJenningsBryan will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I close my account? - 10-09-2015, 09:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7 View Post
Uhh, so when I close an internet account God doesn't know what was in it? Blasphemy.
There's lots of good answers to your inquiry here John. Let me put it another way - through Divine intervention the Holy Spirit brought you here to give you an opportunity that you seem to be rejecting. As Hillary Clinton is now finding out, you can't just delete those e-mails - they are backed up in the "cloud". Now when it comes to Jesus and the "cloud", you might be tempted to say that it's just a metaphor - but things seem to work out that there is a permanent record somewhere and you can't be spending the rest of your life running from it.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
Reply With Quote
(#15)
Old
James Hutchins's Avatar
James Hutchins James Hutchins is offline
True Christian™
Just a Regular Nice Guy
 

True Christian™ Silver Tither Christian Love Real American™ True Christian Provider™ award Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator TC Bravery Gunfest '09 Ready for the Rapture Punched the most queers Jailed for JESUS True Christian Caucasian The Lord’s Witness Wound Teabag Patriot Mission to Australia One Year/1000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life ex-sheep-shagger Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Hotrodder Saved 1 Year Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award 20,000 posts Long service medal, 3rd class Home Schooled Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Early riser Kirk Cameron Fan Club Trump of GOD Mission to Korea Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Incorruptibility Alternative Facts Mower Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Crown of Righteousness Crown of Life Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus In Love With Zeke True Christian™ Cowboy GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!James Hutchins will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: How do I close my account? - 10-12-2015, 12:03 PM

You can never close an account. It can only be transferred from God to Satan.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved