The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
Unsaved trash, Suspected false Christian Democrat
Under Investigation
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Posts: 12
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: That's not a location
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How do I close my account? -
10-07-2015, 10:27 PM
How? How? How?
And Israel abode in Shittim, and the people began to commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab. - Numbers 25:1
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Trying to out-Methuselah Methuselah You kids get off his lawn!
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Posts: 22,424
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Close to God
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-07-2015, 10:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7
How? How? How?
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Open your window, throw out your computer, close your window. To be absolutely sure, also burn your house to the ground.
Or, just stop visiting this site...
Freedom means voting for Donald Trump!
To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-07-2015, 10:32 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7
How? How? How?
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I'm confused. Does that mean that I should take you off my prayers list?
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Serving Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-07-2015, 10:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7
How? How? How?
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Press and hold down the control button (ctrl). Then press and hold down the alt button. Then find and press the delete button. This procedure may take three hands.
You will not be able to remove the part of the site that lets our Security and Investigations Ministry watch you whenever your computer is turned on. Also, you are very ugly, which has proven to be a common condition among the unsaved.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
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Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-07-2015, 10:49 PM
You can't (less Cranky's suggestion, window, fire) We may need you in the future. My particular Bible group, The Mafia "Men Against Faggots In Australia" are planning a trip to Gods Country (America) to meet up with "Men Against Faggots In America" and there are some people we need to look up. As a part of our conversion process we need filthy crack whores like you and if (when) we need your skankness, JesOS can help us get in contact.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
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Gushing for Jesus
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Posts: 23,730
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-07-2015, 11:57 PM
But why?
God will simply open someone's eyes to the Truth if they but seek It (Matthew 7:7). He won't force Himself on anyone*. The Bible speaks for Itself. It is the most read book in the world. Every minute of every day someone is thirsting to know the Truth, and we have no other desire than to bring It, and subsequent conversion and fear, to every man on earth (Matthew 28:16-20).
When someone wants to know what E = MC squared means, they don't argue with people what it's not. They go to a scholarly source. They learn from the Learned Authority (Hebrews 13:17). You're not really looking for answers, you're just looking to validate your anger, your bitterness, your disappointment with your life. But really, it is your soul crying out for it's Creator! Don't shut it down, friend! Set it free (Galatians 5:1)!
The Bible is the most action-packed book you can ever read. It's also the most historically accurate ever written. Can you imagine if someone wrote a book about what goes on today what it would look like? Abortion, murder, rape, adultery, Mtv... the list goes on. Abortion happened in the Bible just as it happens today. Rape happened in the Bible just as it happens today. But ... love, faith, courage in the face of insurmountable obstacles, triumph ... equally amazing things happened in the Bible compared to the sad things that happened. Only, there's more. There's one thing we can never reproduce by our own efforts.
The difference with the Holy Bible is that there's an Answer to the sad things. That's Jesus. The thing that remains is Salvation. In the beginning, Jesus existed (John 1:1) and was, is and always will be perfect (Psalm 18:30). He CANNOT look on sin, because it goes against what He is . So, because of our sinful nature, we would be sentenced to death (Romans 6:23). All of us.
But Jesus took on this debt for us (Colossians 2:14). He temporarily DIED so that we wouldn't have to die for all eternity! He sacrificed Himself to Himself to placate His Holy Anger and yet appease His Holy Nature of Heavenly Mercy, a miraculous answer to an impossible problem!
So now, there is Jesus, who is also God and the Holy Spirit. Because of this, you and I can receive the Holy Spirit in our bodies and thus receive salvation if we BELIEVE and look for True Answers. Because of this, in turn, when we meet God, He will literally see Himself in our hearts, and how can He deny Himself Heaven - HIS OWN HOME? He cannot. That would be like denying yourself entry into your own home. YOUR OWN HOME. Because of Jesus, we can look God in the face. If someone does not have Jesus in their heart, they will live eternally some place in Hell. Beloved, God will not let strangers into His home.
So, this is nothing new. True Christians™ have been sharing this Good News for thousands of years. You will probably read this and get really angry and refute the information, or maybe you will think I am insane, etc. However, the fact remains. This is where the rubber meets the road. We simply believe, or we don't believe. Our eternal LIVES are at stake, but no one can force you to have Faith. So, forgive me for not following this thread. I can only bang my head against a wall for so long.
Won't you pray to Him for Healing? Won't you bury your sorrows in His Divine Lap, and let His Love comfort you while you learn the joys of worshiping and serving Him?
* some restrictions may apply
Romans 9:18
Exodus 9:12
Deuteronomy 2:30
Isaiah 6:10
Jeremiah 17:92
2 Thessalonians 2:11
1 Kings 22:22
Jeremiah 4:10
Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 37
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: Far to the Right
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-08-2015, 01:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mary Etheldreda
But why?
God will simply open someone's eyes to the Truth if they but seek It (Matthew 7:7). He won't force Himself on anyone*. The Bible speaks for Itself. It is the most read book in the world. Every minute of every day someone is thirsting to know the Truth, and we have no other desire than to bring It, and subsequent conversion and fear, to every man on earth (Matthew 28:16-20).
When someone wants to know what E = MC squared means, they don't argue with people what it's not. They go to a scholarly source. They learn from the Learned Authority (Hebrews 13:17). You're not really looking for answers, you're just looking to validate your anger, your bitterness, your disappointment with your life. But really, it is your soul crying out for it's Creator! Don't shut it down, friend! Set it free (Galatians 5:1)!
The Bible is the most action-packed book you can ever read. It's also the most historically accurate ever written. Can you imagine if someone wrote a book about what goes on today what it would look like? Abortion, murder, rape, adultery, Mtv... the list goes on. Abortion happened in the Bible just as it happens today. Rape happened in the Bible just as it happens today. But ... love, faith, courage in the face of insurmountable obstacles, triumph ... equally amazing things happened in the Bible compared to the sad things that happened. Only, there's more. There's one thing we can never reproduce by our own efforts.
The difference with the Holy Bible is that there's an Answer to the sad things. That's Jesus. The thing that remains is Salvation. In the beginning, Jesus existed (John 1:1) and was, is and always will be perfect (Psalm 18:30). He CANNOT look on sin, because it goes against what He is . So, because of our sinful nature, we would be sentenced to death (Romans 6:23). All of us.
But Jesus took on this debt for us (Colossians 2:14). He temporarily DIED so that we wouldn't have to die for all eternity! He sacrificed Himself to Himself to placate His Holy Anger and yet appease His Holy Nature of Heavenly Mercy, a miraculous answer to an impossible problem!
So now, there is Jesus, who is also God and the Holy Spirit. Because of this, you and I can receive the Holy Spirit in our bodies and thus receive salvation if we BELIEVE and look for True Answers. Because of this, in turn, when we meet God, He will literally see Himself in our hearts, and how can He deny Himself Heaven - HIS OWN HOME? He cannot. That would be like denying yourself entry into your own home. YOUR OWN HOME. Because of Jesus, we can look God in the face. If someone does not have Jesus in their heart, they will live eternally some place in Hell. Beloved, God will not let strangers into His home.
So, this is nothing new. True Christians™ have been sharing this Good News for thousands of years. You will probably read this and get really angry and refute the information, or maybe you will think I am insane, etc. However, the fact remains. This is where the rubber meets the road. We simply believe, or we don't believe. Our eternal LIVES are at stake, but no one can force you to have Faith. So, forgive me for not following this thread. I can only bang my head against a wall for so long.
Won't you pray to Him for Healing? Won't you bury your sorrows in His Divine Lap, and let His Love comfort you while you learn the joys of worshiping and serving Him?
* some restrictions may apply
Romans 9:18
Exodus 9:12
Deuteronomy 2:30
Isaiah 6:10
Jeremiah 17:92
2 Thessalonians 2:11
1 Kings 22:22
Jeremiah 4:10
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God bless you, Mary, for that post; it is beautiful and full of His annointing. I wish I could open a second LOB account!
Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth. - Psalm 46:10
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True Christian™ Beauty Queen
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Posts: 5,447
Join Date: Dec 2007
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-08-2015, 05:20 AM
There's no "Uninstall" on the Book of Life, son.
Let Jesus Christ Wash You Clean
in 2016
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Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
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Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-08-2015, 02:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7
How do I close my account? How? How? How?
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Landover Baptist Church apologizes for the delay in giving you a reply to your question about your account.
We deal with accounts in accordance with
Re:20:12: And I saw the dead, small and great, stand before God; and the books were opened: and another book was opened, which is the book of life: and the dead were judged out of those things which were written in the books, according to their works.
You account at Landover is one of the books that will be opened on Judgment Day.
We cannot deprive God of this valuable source of evidence.
I suggest you depart and prepare yourself for the stench, heat and darkness of an eternity in the Pits of Hell.
If you have any questions about donations to Landover Baptist, please write directly to Pastor Ezekiel.
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Unsaved trash, Suspected false Christian Democrat
Under Investigation
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Posts: 12
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: That's not a location
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-08-2015, 09:58 PM
Uhh, so when I close an internet account God doesn't know what was in it? Blasphemy.
And Israel abode in Shittim, and the people began to commit whoredom with the daughters of Moab. - Numbers 25:1
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South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
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Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-08-2015, 10:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7
Uhh, so when I close an internet account God doesn't know what was in it? Blasphemy.
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Sweetie, God probably knew that He was going to hate you when you were still in the womb:
Psalm 58:3 The wicked are estranged from the womb: they go astray as soon as they be born, speaking lies.
However, the record of the extent of your foolishness is necessary for the salvation of other people.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 103
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: On the narrow road to Salvation™
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-09-2015, 03:25 AM
Hi John,
Did you try prayer? Ya know, if you pray hard enough to Jesus, anything is possible. Therefore, if your account is never deleted, then you're simply not praying hard enough... and you only have yourself to blame.
"With the jawbone of an ass, heaps upon heaps, with the jaw of an ass have I slain a thousand men." - Judges 15:16
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-09-2015, 03:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7
Uhh, so when I close an internet account God doesn't know what was in it? Blasphemy.
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You can't close your account on Jesus. He is always watching you.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-09-2015, 09:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by John c8v7
Uhh, so when I close an internet account God doesn't know what was in it? Blasphemy.
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There's lots of good answers to your inquiry here John. Let me put it another way - through Divine intervention the Holy Spirit brought you here to give you an opportunity that you seem to be rejecting. As Hillary Clinton is now finding out, you can't just delete those e-mails - they are backed up in the "cloud". Now when it comes to Jesus and the "cloud", you might be tempted to say that it's just a metaphor - but things seem to work out that there is a permanent record somewhere and you can't be spending the rest of your life running from it.
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: How do I close my account? -
10-12-2015, 12:03 PM
You can never close an account. It can only be transferred from God to Satan.
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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