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Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-30-2011, 05:00 AM
Brethren, Farmer Hank has moved in from the fields to the pulpit. This past Sunday, he really turned loose as he preached his first sermon, which happened to be one of my older sermons. It is a wonderful thing we have Godly men like Farmer Hank around. They give us hope that True Christians™ will always be around.
Sermon Title: “The Rooster, God’s Alarm Clock”
Date Presented: October 23, 2011
Message Delivered By: Farmer Hank
From The Series: “Sermons by Farmer Hank”
Theme: Hymn #201, “Is It For Me, Dear Savior”
Thesis: God guides and directs us and gives evidence of his creative power and direction in nature. Sinners can’t see it. Only the righteous can see it.
Sermon Transcribed By: Judith Miller, church secretary, Oakwood Baptist Church:
As the people of God, we look for spiritual things in nature. Conveniently, God has enabled us to see what no one else can see. Heck, some say even if it’s not there, we see it. But that’s why we’re Christians. We’re special and God loves us more than everyone else in the whole wide world. And there is one thing in nature that is a sure testimony of God. The Lord led me to this conclusion earlier this week when I was hoeing in the garden, plantin’ tomaters. The Lord told me to preach a sermon on the rooster.
Roosters are like fruit trees—when we see that they are beneficial to mankind, we just assume that God made them for us. We assume that the fruit put on that tree was put there solely for our benefit. The evolutionists say that fruit is merely nature’s way of reproducing the plant, which is why there are seeds in the fruit itself. But we know, as educated Christians, that God made that fruit for us. We just know it because the Bible says it (Genesis 1:26-30). We have no other way of knowing anything. Not even the senses can convince us of something that is not in the Bible.
Now think about the rooster for a moment. He crows in the morning, which tells us to get up and get our britches on, and to go out to feed the pigs and the hens. How does the rooster know to crow at the same time every morning? Because God told him to! That right there is proof that Jesus Christ is creator of the entire universe, because he made roosters to tell us when to get up. It’s just right to get up early in the morning, to put your overalls on, and not be lazy and sleep in like sluggards (Proverbs 6:6-9), and we farmers know that better than anyone else. This is why southern, white, Christian farmers tend to be so close to God.
And that’s another thing; we work hard for our sustenance, which happens to include chickens. We eat chicken abortions for our pleasure, but we preach that human abortions are wrong at all costs, which is why we voted for Bush twice. And even though the evolutionists keep telling us we are an odd species because we are the only species who drinks the milk of another animal as a source of nutrients well into our old age, we still know that God gave us cows to milk and to eat. It’s in the Bible, so it has to be true. [Loud “AMENS” from the crowd]
We have no problem killing a once-living being for food, for clothing, for saddles, or just for our pleasure so that we people with missing teeth can look at each other and senselessly grin. Any reason to kill is ok. Our minds are eased in killing lesser life-forms because it’s in the Bible that we can do it, and no one ever takes as much delight in killing as when God says the killing is acceptable. And kill we do and will continue to do. We kill for food, for putting big trophies with horns up on our walls (and on the front of our Cadillacs), for rugs, and for oil overseas—and if the law would stay off our backs for long enough, we’d kill the gays, too. God has been gracious enough to enlighten the eyes of a few of his children, not only to see that without Jesus we’re all worthless sinners who are going straight to hell, but to see the purposes God has for all of his creations, just like the rooster.
For instance, we know why pigs were made; they were made to be killed and cooked and cut-up to flavor the beans. And iron was put in the earth to make hoes, rakes, and especially rifles out of. Without rifles, we couldn’t have the National Rifle Association, could we? The NRA is only one tiny step behind the church in holiness and importance. [Countless and loud “AMENS” from the whole congregation]
God has given us many other things, too, like pretty flowers for sending to sweet sisters in Christ, like Leanne Simmons, who recently lost her husband, and Ima May Anderson, whose husband suffered his third heart attack this week alone. Flowers are God’s way of saying, “I may not be willing to heal you of your painful ailments, my child, but I sure will engage your sense of beauty to help you forget about it for the moment!” That’s our God for you—always willing to help us out on the little things, but never a once in the ways that matter most. He’ll heal a heart murmur or a headache, but never an amputee! But, he’s the only God we got, so we still have to worship him or we’ll get the boot. And God is not the enemy here. It’s the evolutionist who is the enemy. The evolutionist tells us that flowers were originally ugly, and that all the beautiful flowers are man-made.
Evolutionists are just stupid. They actually think that the entire universe came from yarn, which is why we hear so much today about “String Theory.” It’s a bunch of hogwash. They say that the horse evolved from a small, scrawny, five-toed, fox-like creature that eventually grew larger, but that’s a bunch of hooey. We know that God created everything exactly as it appears today. The horse was created instantaneously and made to be ridden, just like pappy’s Model-T and Dixie Lee’s old International truck that sits up on blocks in her driveway like it has been for the last 8 years. If horses had been created small, how would Abraham and Moses have gotten around? They didn’t have dependable Fords and Chevys like we do today.
What we often forget is, this is our world and God wants us to get around it and conquer it. God doesn’t care about animals anymore than he cared about injuns when they had this land. That’s why the good Lord ripped it right out of their hands and gave it to us! He cares about us using the animals on this land, too. He wants us to ride them, and then when we’re done, to use them again in large, industrial farming efforts so that they are systematically served up as food with mashed potatoes, so that our young Sallies and Daisys and Tommys and Bobbys can grow up big and strong. And that’s another thing; if God didn’t want us to eat mashed potatoes and gravy, why would he have invented butter or flour? No evolutionist can answer that. And someone please tell me, if God didn’t want us to wipe our rear-ends with them, why did he make plants like lilies and elephant ears? There’s not an evolutionist alive who can answer that! [More “AMENS” heard from the audience]
Come on! Think about it; if God didn’t want us to swim and fish, why would he have made rivers and ponds? If he didn’t want us to herd sheep, why did he give them wool? If God didn’t want us to make and enjoy beer, why did he make porches, lawn chairs, and tailgates for us to sit outside on with our buddies as we admire the confederate flag?
Christians, the point has been made: Jesus loves you and he created this entire universe for you, and not for any other reason. All those stars in the sky that God created he really doesn’t care about, just like the salmon as he futilely swims upstream (Matthew 10:31; I Corinthians 9:8-10). Why, the entire moon doesn’t even matter as much as the spittoon at your papaw’s favorite liquoring hole. What God really cares about is you, little old you. Isn’t that nice? [“AMENS” from all parts of the crowd]
Now please rise for the invitational hymn.
Pastor Ed
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-30-2011, 07:02 AM
Nothing makes a person realise how much God cares for him than reflecting on God's bounty. When you truly see the world and take a Godly perspective on it through the Holy Bible of King James you feel a sense of peace and contentment those silly atheist enviro-freaks with their fretting about this tree and that creek and the other rainforest frog can only dream of.
Get God, you tree huggers!
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-30-2011, 07:18 AM
Apart from empty emmotional pleas, what legitimate evidence do you believe you may have that ANY acclaimed ' holy-text ' is the words of ANY god(s) given to man?
Better luck next times!
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-30-2011, 07:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Composer
Apart from empty emmotional pleas, what legitimate evidence do you believe you may have that ANY acclaimed ' holy-text ' is the words of ANY god(s) given to man?
Better luck next times!
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Do you always barge in to people's homes and rant on about your opinion?
2 Timothy 3:16 All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness:
That sorts that little burst of silliness out; which you'd know if you'd lurked more instead of running off at the mouth like a petulant child.
Make an introduction that we may know you.
Back to praising the Lord's glorious gift of the whole world for our use!
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-30-2011, 07:24 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Composer
Apart from empty emmotional pleas, what legitimate evidence do you believe you may have that ANY acclaimed ' holy-text ' is the words of ANY god(s) given to man?
Better luck next times!
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Um, I have the this. Duh.
Better luck next times!
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Christ's Love Messenger
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-30-2011, 11:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ed Lowman
Sermon Title: “The Rooster, God’s Alarm Clock”
Now please rise for the invitational hymn.
Pastor Ed
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Thank you Pastor Ed for another hymn that I will read as soon as I wake. Will it be the same hymn "I rise with Jesus on my mind and my cock in my hand"? If not, please let me know and I will inform the congregation.
Brother Deaner
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-30-2011, 11:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Composer
Apart from empty emmotional pleas, what legitimate evidence do you believe you may have that ANY acclaimed ' holy-text ' is the words of ANY god(s) given to man?
Better luck next times!
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Because it says so in the Bible. Please learn how to spell.
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 12:41 AM
Your ministry here is a proven lie and a sham, and apart from emotional pleas for credibility, you have a sum total of nothing in the way of legitimate support for your bible, which your combined pitiful efforts here and those losers like you elsewhere; have unambiguously proved!
Thank you for confirming your ineptitude and false beliefs based upon your circular = flawed reasoning!
Oh yes! I also keep copies of all Posts for my students, so they can also see first hand how dimwits like you here behave and how successfull I always am at busting and exposing false ideologies like those presented by you proven false teachers! Of course you will likely Delete my Posts to hide your shame and false doctrine but too bad, I have duplicates to present to my classes and where else I choose and I shall do so as I please!
I bet also you self acclaimed Story book jesus' believers are also in reality, malignant sinners according to your Story book, hence also in reality, ALL proven Story book jesus' frauds! cf. e.g. 1 John 3:6 KJV proven Story book. LOL!
No small wonder your mods here want me quickly banished and banned from speaking openly here, in their pathetic and failed efforts to hide their self proven shame and false doctrines!
Landmark baptists Cult (church = LOL!) lost and lost so quickly against me, that it quickens my heart with joy to know I have again successfully busted yet another fraudulent Cult like yours here at Landover baptists = proven BS artists. LOL!
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 12:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Composer
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Are you on LSD?
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 03:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Composer
Your ministry here is a proven lie and a sham, and apart from emotional pleas for credibility, you have a sum total of nothing in the way of legitimate support for your bible, which your combined pitiful efforts here and those losers like you elsewhere; have unambiguously proved!
Thank you for confirming your ineptitude and false beliefs based upon your circular = flawed reasoning!
Oh yes! I also keep copies of all Posts for my students, so they can also see first hand how dimwits like you here behave and how successfull I always am at busting and exposing false ideologies like those presented by you proven false teachers! Of course you will likely Delete my Posts to hide your shame and false doctrine but too bad, I have duplicates to present to my classes and where else I choose and I shall do so as I please!
I bet also you self acclaimed Story book jesus' believers are also in reality, malignant sinners according to your Story book, hence also in reality, ALL proven Story book jesus' frauds! cf. e.g. 1 John 3:6 KJV proven Story book. LOL!
No small wonder your mods here want me quickly banished and banned from speaking openly here, in their pathetic and failed efforts to hide their self proven shame and false doctrines!
Landmark baptists Cult (church = LOL!) lost and lost so quickly against me, that it quickens my heart with joy to know I have again successfully busted yet another fraudulent Cult like yours here at Landover baptists = proven BS artists. LOL!
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So by your crazy circular logic it is because the Bible states clearly and unequivocally that there is but one God and He is it that it must be wrong? How daft does that sound when you think about it? If you were going to find word of God's wonder in one place and one place only in the world it would be in the Bible - that's obvious! By your crazy logic the simple existence of the Bible and all its wondrous tales of God's will and actions disproves His existence because it is all written down.
I know - crazy when you start to think about it clearly, isn't it!
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 07:35 AM
#1: Landmark baptists Cult exposed and also exposed as bible Story book jesus frauds -
Like your failed and pretend jesus' believing predecessors, your unambiguous failure to legitimately support nor provide legitimate evidence that ANY acclaimed ' holy-text is the words of ANY god(s) given to man ' (including your preferred bible Story book version) remains a resounding zero!
My students and I laugh at your combined pitiful inability to legitimately support your religious claims.
Herewith also a Copy of an email I recently sent to another incompetent preacher associated I believe with your Cult, Attn: Bryan Huie -
In your spurious article - ' Satan, the adversary of mankind ' (http://www.herealittletherealittle.net/index.cfm?page_name=Satan) your fundamental premiss is flawed, so let's start there -
You wrote in part: " The Bible elsewhere identifies Satan with the serpent in this story. In Revelation 12:9 and 20:2, he is called "that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan. "
What you typical false teachers always miss is telling Story book biblical truth. e.g. NB: Rev. 12:9 Story book actually states -
And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. (Rev. 12:9) KJV Story book (My RED emphasis!)
Your claims immediately fail because the text I bolded in RED, DOES NOT legitimately fit to your premiss and we know why your premiss fails because -
And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. (1 Tim. 2:14) KJV Story book
Hence ' that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, . . . . ' of Rev. 12:9 ' that deceiveth the whole world ' CAN NOT therefore be nor equal in identity to the Serpent of Genesis - Eden, that actually failed to ' deceive the whole world ' even when it consisted of only Adam & Eve; as proved by 1 Tim. 2:14!
Your ministry is a proven lie and a sham using your own Story book itself!. LOL!
QED
I have yet to receive a reply from Mr. Bryan Huie, but am most happy to reproduce that email as a New Thread here at Landmark baptists Cult forum and my students and myself shall see if any here want to try their luck against me again on this second topic, your predecessors having unambiguously failed on the first? (See #1: above)
Much much much much much better luck next times to you self acclaimed Story book jesus' believers. LOL!
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 07:48 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist
So by your crazy circular logic it is because the Bible states clearly and unequivocally that there is but one God and He is it that it must be wrong? How daft does that sound when you think about it? If you were going to find word of God's wonder in one place and one place only in the world it would be in the Bible - that's obvious! By your crazy logic the simple existence of the Bible and all its wondrous tales of God's will and actions disproves His existence because it is all written down.
I know - crazy when you start to think about it clearly, isn't it!
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Your comments are typical of a confirmed Story book jesus' reject that Story book 1 John 3:6 speaks about!
The combined legitimate evidence from YOU, those clowns like you and ALL your predecessors that ANY acclaimed ' holy-text ' is the words of ANY god(s) given to man remains a constant zero!
Thank you for adding yourself and this forum's preachings to that list of religious Cult minded frauds and Story book jesus rejects!
Much much much much much better luck next times should any of you wish to try your luck against me again, your having been soundly and unambiguously thrashed by me on ALL Topics so far, even by my using your own Story book preferred version against you successfully!
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 07:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Composer
My students and I laugh
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Your lessons must be a real hoot. Where do you brainwash teach again?
2 Timothy 4:3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 08:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist
Your lessons must be a real hoot. Where do you brainwash teach again?
I'm teaching successfully here and now dimwit and inept Posts like yours prove it repeatedly for me, and your combined legitimate evidence otherwise also remains a constant zero!
2 Timothy 4:3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
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Your continual quoting from the proven Story book you fail to legitimately prove is the words of ANY god(s) given to man, only reaffirms what my students and I already know. e.g -
i) Your personal manifestation of gross incompetence and hence illegitimate testimony (e.g. based upon your circular argument and false premiss that this Story book bible is the word(s) of ANY literal god(s))
ii) Your predecessors manifestations of gross incompetence and resultant illegitimate testimony (e.g. likewise based upon their circular argument and false premiss that this Story book bible is the word(s) of ANY literal god(s))
iii) Your personal demonstrations of being a proven Story book jesus' fraud (See: 1 John 3:6)
iv) Your predecessors personal demonstrations of being proven Story book jesus' frauds (See: 1 John 3:6)
Much much much much much much better luck to you and yours against me next times IF any wish to try their luck against me again?
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 08:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist
Your lessons must be a real hoot. Where do you brainwash teach again?
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I'm also teaching successfully here and now dimwit and inept Posts like yours prove it repeatedly for me, and your combined legitimate evidence otherwise also remains a constant zero!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist
2 Timothy 4:3 For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears;
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Your continual quoting from the proven Story book you fail to legitimately prove is the words of ANY god(s) given to man, only reaffirms what my students and I already know -
i) Your personal manifestation of gross incompetence and hence illegitimate testimony (e.g. based upon your circular argument and false premiss that this Story book bible is the word(s) of ANY literal god(s))
ii) Your predecessors manifestations of gross incompetence and resultant illegitimate testimony (e.g. likewise based upon their circular argument and false premiss that this Story book bible is the word(s) of ANY literal god(s))
iii) Your personal demonstrations of being a proven Story book jesus' fraud (See: 1 John 3:6)
iv) Your predecessors personal demonstrations of being proven Story book jesus' frauds (See: 1 John 3:6)
Much much much much much much better luck to you and yours against me next times IF any wish to try their luck against me again?
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 08:44 AM
Brethren! It is my sincere belief we are in the presence of a true genius of debate. By dressing up "IMMA NO BELIEVE" in lots of big words he can probably impress his "students" with he has, at a stroke, dismantled the entire apparatus of Christianity. It's a wonder it took so long for such a champion to step forth.
Sirrah! I salute you for your legendary powers of reasoning.
For an encore, why not prove the Bible isn't true because I'm fairly certain everyone else won't be quite such a pushover as I am.
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 08:52 AM
Also seeing as you like 1 John 3:6 so much:
6*Whosoever abideth in him sinneth not: whosoever sinneth hath not seen him, neither known him. 7*Little children, let no man deceive you: he that doeth righteousness is righteous, even as he is righteous. 8*He that committeth sin is of the devil; for the devil sinneth from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was manifested, that he might destroy the works of the devil. 9*Whosoever is born of God doth not commit sin; for his seed remaineth in him: and he cannot sin, because he is born of God. 10*In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever doeth not righteousness is not of God, neither he that loveth not his brother. 11*For this is the message that ye heard from the beginning, that we should love one another.
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 09:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redeemed Papist
Brethren! It is my sincere belief we are in the presence of a true genius of debate. By dressing up "IMMA NO BELIEVE" in lots of big words he can probably impress his "students" with he has, at a stroke, dismantled the entire apparatus of Christianity. It's a wonder it took so long for such a champion to step forth.
Sirrah! I salute you for your legendary powers of reasoning.
For an encore, why not prove the Bible isn't true because I'm fairly certain everyone else won't be quite such a pushover as I am. :sarcasm:
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Hey dimwit,
It is incumbent upon those like YOU that want to use their Story book because they believe in what it tells them to do and to obey -
Prove all things ; . . . . (1 Thess. 5:21) KJV Story book
So ' Off ya go ' and do as you are told by Story book jesus LOL!
Now as you self acclaimed believers believe you have some literal god(s) for support and I don't, then it will be easy for you to show me where I am mistaken, because you try to tell us all that your god(s) will keep their word and come to the aid of any genuine jesus' believer as they allegedly already promised in your Story book bible. So I urge you to take advantage over me and call upon your god(s), to either assist you in your efforts or to do it entirely themselves because you are malignant sinning idiots, to Prove that your Story book bible IS the words of these god(s) given to man, and unambiguously convince me, other sceptics and disbelievers in your god(s) that this is really the case? -
Here's some clues for you dimwits regarding Story book god(s) promises ' already a given to genuine Story book jesus' believers (apparently?) -
And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do [it]. (John 14:13-14) KJV story book
If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. (John 15:7) KJV story book
Going from your predecessors miserable failures througout man's history outside of Story book land, I shan't be putting the kettle on waiting for your god(s) to get off their fat and incompetent alleged spiritual ars_s to keep their word this time either. LOL!
Much much much much much much much better luck to you and yours next times IF you wish to try your luck against me again?
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 09:42 AM
You keep on referring to the very inerrant and perfect word of God as a storybook.
You're making the big claim here. I know you feel all big and clever with all this stuff you found on some web site but God is smarter than you.
Matthew 7
11*If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him? 12*Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.
13*Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: 14*Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it.
15*Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves.
If you're asking someone you don't believe in with all your heart for something and He doesn't grant your request should you be surprised?
Also you need to bear Matthew 4 in mind.
5*Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him on a pinnacle of the temple, 6*And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. 7*Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God.
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Re: Sermon: "The Rooster, God's Alarm Clock" -
10-31-2011, 09:55 AM
Much smarter than you proven -
1. Story book jesus' frauds!
2. Your prayers, holy-spirit and god(s) combined have ALL failed you!
3. Your alleged trinitarian Story book god(s) lied and failed to support you despite the help along I gave you earlier -
And whatsoever ye shall ask in my name, that will I do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. 14 If ye shall ask any thing in my name, I will do [it]. (John 14:13-14) KJV story book
If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you. (John 15:7) KJV story book
4. Your incessent quoting of proven failed Story book text as your so called legitimate evidence in lieu of a shred of legitimate credibility for your easily and unambiguously defeated cause. LOL!
5. Your minsitry here is a proven sham!
QED
Much much much much much much much better luck to you and yours next times IF you wish to try your luck against me again?
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