[Johny Joe Hold]

This is to notify citizens of Freehold who are grieving over the untimely death of our friend, Paul Crouch, that his memory will live on. I changed the name of Fifth St. to Paul Crouch Avenue.

Those of us who knew Paul are really taking his death hard. We are wondering where to look for the leadership in the business branch of the Christian faith. Paul took Christian money making to place most of us never dreamed could be reached.

And then there was the persecution he suffered. There was the male employee who claimed to have had sex with Paul and was paid $400,000 for his silence. It is just not right that Paul had to pay such a sum.

There was the tragedy with the love of his life, Jan. Because of their differing sleeping habits, it was necessary for them to live in separate mansions. The stress of this separation no doubt contributed to his health problems.

The only way we can go on without Paul is to keep his memory front and center in our lives. That is why Freehold is proud to name Paul Crouch Avenue.

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

What a fitting memorial for such a Godly man.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Many people do not understand tithing--that giving money to God makes them rich. Godly Paul expressed it better than anyone,

When you give money to God, it's a loan. He gives it right back.

RIP, Paul.

http://www.latimes.com/obituaries/la...#axzz2mKWAYRNr

[WWJDnow]

I am not grieving for Rev. Crouch's death, but rather, I'm rejoicing. God knows talent when He sees it, so He needed Paul Crouch in Heaven more than He needed Crouch on Earth. Now the good pastor is in a place where nobody can tarnish him with false accusations of sexual misconduct and spending money wildly at the expense of poor contributors. That's why I've been praying for Crouch's death for many years now. SHOUT GLORY!

[Faith_Machine]

I'm sorry Mayor Joe Hold, but I was told I was raising money so the street signs could be changed to read "Paul Walker Avenue."

There must have been some kind of mix-up.

[Cranky Old Man]

All these name changes confuse me. Can't we rename the landfill instead?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

All these name changes confuse me. Can't we rename the landfill instead?

Brother Crank--I understand your reluctance to rename a street. It is not easy for me either because I have to see to the new City Maps are issued.

I'm sure you know of the of Revelations 21:21 where streets are paved with gold. Confidentially, I'm thinking widow Jan Crouch might want to pass some of Paul's big $ to Freehold in appreciation for Paul Crouch Avenue.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Faith_Machine

I'm sorry Mayor Joe Hold, but I was told I was raising money so the street signs could be changed to read "Paul Walker Avenue."

There must have been some kind of mix-up.

Thank you, Faith. I've not heard Paul Walker had an estate that merited a street being named after him. I could be mistaken on that.

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Originally Posted by Faith_Machine

I'm sorry Mayor Joe Hold, but I was told I was raising money so the street signs could be changed to read "Paul Walker Avenue."

There must have been some kind of mix-up.

I must say I would be more inclined to get behind some sort of memorial for Mr. Walker had his movies featured more naturally aspirated, lopey cammed, V8 rear-wheel driven manly cars (as God intended), rather than all those blown micro-engined (Satan's work), riced out, stickered up, surfboard winged, fart-can sporting (sounds like an angry weed-whacker), slant mobiles. Just sayin'.

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Mr. Mayor, what a lovely tribute to the late Reverend Crouch. I long for the day that you open your gated community to me. I would love to open a pie shop on Crouch Avenue. Well, if it gets good traffic, that is. As I read your announcement, the Lord told me to ask you to consider a new park on Crouch Avenue containing statues of Christian soldiers erected like Rev. Crouch, where the children of Freehold could play while surrounded with reminders of heroes gone before them. It may even lend ambition to those children, aspiring to have their own erections displayed in a public place?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb

Mr. Mayor, what a lovely tribute to the late Reverend Crouch. I long for the day that you open your gated community to me. I would love to open a pie shop on Crouch Avenue. Well, if it gets good traffic, that is. As I read your announcement, the Lord told me to ask you to consider a new park on Crouch Avenue containing statues of Christian soldiers erected like Rev. Crouch, where the children of Freehold could play while surrounded with reminders of heroes gone before them. It may even lend ambition to those children, aspiring to have their own erections displayed in a public place?

Thank you for that idea Naomi Ruth. A pie shop on Paul Crouch Avenue would fit my plan perfectly.

As to statues of Christian heros, such as Rev. Crouch, I think that will require more thought. I have been saving several spots to honor our current Pastors such as Pastor Zeke. Whether there will be room for lesser national figures remains to be seen.

[Faith_Machine]

Originally Posted by Cranky Old Man

All these name changes confuse me. Can't we rename the landfill instead?

Cranky, I take it you've become forgetful in your old age. Remember, friend, there is no landfill within Freehold city limits. All the trash is trucked out and dumped in West Liberty where it belongs.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Faith_Machine

Cranky, I take it you've become forgetful in your old age. Remember, friend, there is no landfill within Freehold city limits. All the trash is trucked out and dumped in West Liberty where it belongs.

Freehold has been hauling its garbage to (Messican) West Libertad for several years. We did it at night for a long time, figuring the town was already buried in Messican garbage no one would notice. Then, Mayor Chad Thomas phoned me mad as a wet hen.

We're still negotiating a fee. I don't see why we should subsidize a Messican town but he is doing a shake down on us. I don't expect to pay anytime soon.

http://cityofwestlibertyia.org/site-page/solid-waste

[Godfly]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

Freehold has been hauling its garbage to (Messican) West Libertad for several years. We did it at night for a long time, figuring the town was already buried in Messican garbage no one would notice. Then, Mayor Chad Thomas phoned me mad as a wet hen.

We're still negotiating a fee. I don't see why we should subsidize a Messican town but he is doing a shake down on us. I don't expect to pay anytime soon.

http://cityofwestlibertyia.org/site-page/solid-waste

Just make sure he doesn't try to recycle any of our trash! If he makes us pay for it my garbage better be right there in the ground where I left it!

[Naomi Ruth Lamb]

Mr. Mayor, If I promise not to come near Freehold's gates, how about if I visit the officials of West Liberty and offer some pie in return for tariff-free garbage dumping? Father seems to think that a taste of my cherry or mincemeat along with a Christian smile and wink will make a huge difference. He even gave me some material to make a new skirt although I fear there isn't much material involved. Just say the word. Again, I will not try to stop by your town nor will I claim any residency. A Godly woman knows how to convince a man. If my pie doesn't work, I know my perfectly cooked breasts will. I await your answer and will sew while I wait.

[Faith_Machine]

Naomi, you seem like a really useful young lady. I warn you, however, to say the heck away from those chili pepper people. There's no telling what they'll do when they set eyes upon a succulent, young white girl and their blood begins to get even hotter than it already is.

[Mark L. Snyde, PhD]

Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb

Mr. Mayor, If I promise not to come near Freehold's gates, how about if I visit the officials of West Liberty and offer some pie in return for tariff-free garbage dumping? Father seems to think that a taste of my cherry or mincemeat along with a Christian smile and wink will make a huge difference. He even gave me some material to make a new skirt although I fear there isn't much material involved. Just say the word. Again, I will not try to stop by your town nor will I claim any residency. A Godly woman knows how to convince a man. If my pie doesn't work, I know my perfectly cooked breasts will. I await your answer and will sew while I wait.

Hello Naomi,

It might help the True Christian™ men here if you could send pictures (I will graciously volunteer to be the recipient and then forward them to my Brothers in Christ) of yourself in this scanty skirt in various poses which would demonstrate the boundary conditions, such as bending over, reaching up high, etc. so we could helpfully advise you as to whether it is too dangerous or not.

Hebrews 3:13 (1611 King James Bible)

But exhort one another dayly, while it is called To day, least any of you be hardned through the deceitfulnesse of sinne.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Godfly

Just make sure he doesn't try to recycle any of our trash! If he makes us pay for it my garbage better be right there in the ground where I left it!

Good point, Brother Godfly. We put the garbage there and we have a rightful voice in what happens to it. We do not intend allow liberals to make a political statement by doing their recycling thing.

I have to say, here, Mayor Chad is a white Christian and I consider him a friend. Even though West Libertad is majority Messican, he has seen to it there are no Messicans on the City Council nor even any candidates.

Even though Chad complains about the expense we impose on W. Libertad by dumping there, I'm sure I can come up with an argument that makes it into a win-win situation. Certainly, it has been a win for Freehold.

[Faith_Machine]

I guess all those Mexicans were having a "siesta" or whatever they call it, on election day? God bless 'em!