"Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

[Remy Lebeau]

The Large Hadron Collider will be activated within a matter of hours.

To the married community:

You all know what you need to be doing. I personally will be firmly planted inside my wife for the entire day as a bold stand for heterosexuality. Some of you are going to be wear electrified chastity belts. Some of you will be using hazmat suits. If you still have not developed a plan you had best head to the main church building ASAP.

To the single community:

Single church members need to form prayer circles. We are going to be mixing things up a bit for this occasion. Prayer circles should consist of boy-girl-boy-girl pattern. With the very real threat of homo erotic particles attempting to penetrate our minds and bodies we don't want anyone holding hands with the same sex. Yes, we know holding hands is alittle hot and heavy, but the alternative is too dire to take any other course. Participation is mandatory. Anyone who is not signed in by 0030hr will be automatically signed up for BASH the next day.

Prayer circles start at midnight. Schools in Freehold will be closed tomorrow as well as the university. Remember, Jesus is our friend. He is on our side. Let's stand up to Satan and his earthly minions. This gateway to the Abyss will not be allowed to let Satan and his demons entire our world physically. We must counter these particles with prayer. We will show them the power of real "God particles".

To those single members living in Europe:

You will be right at the epicenter. You have already been signed up for BASH. We have complete confidence that you will not give in the the demons' call to sodomy and rug munchery, but you will need to be purged in the light of Jesus nonetheless. It would be cruel of us to allow you to be subject to such a call for the rest of your natural life.

[Dead Dog]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

The Large Hadron Collider will be activated within a matter of hours.

To the married community:

You all know what you need to be doing. I personally will be firmly planted inside my wife for the entire day as a bold stand for heterosexuality. Some of you are going to be wear electrified chastity belts. Some of you will be using hazmat suits. If you still have not developed a plan you had best head to the main church building ASAP.

To the single community:

Single church members need to form prayer circles. We are going to be mixing things up a bit for this occasion. Prayer circles should consist of boy-girl-boy-girl pattern. With the very real threat of homo erotic particles attempting to penetrate our minds and bodies we don't want anyone holding hands with the same sex. Yes, we know holding hands is alittle hot and heavy, but the alternative is too dire to take any other course. Participation is mandatory. Anyone who is not signed in by 0030hr will be automatically signed up for BASH the next day.

Prayer circles start at midnight. Schools in Freehold will be closed tomorrow as well as the university. Remember, Jesus is our friend. He is on our side. Let's stand up to Satan and his earthly minions. This gateway to the Abyss will not be allowed to let Satan and his demons entire our world physically. We must counter these particles with prayer. We will show them the power of real "God particles".

To those single members living in Europe:

You will be right at the epicenter. You have already been signed up for BASH. We have complete confidence that you will not give in the the demons' call to sodomy and rug munchery, but you will need to be purged in the light of Jesus nonetheless. It would be cruel of us to allow you to be subject to such a call for the rest of your natural life.

I'm going to be sat at the computer wrapped in a duvet as it's 7.00am here. I am confident it won't turn me gay. Hey, maybe it'll turn homos straight!

[Brother Temperance]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

I am praying for Christ to keep me rigid and firm in the faith, but it's tricky. Several times today I've noticed my wrists starting to flop all over the place like nobody's business. Please let me know if I start to display any signs of unusual behaviour.

[SUV]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

I knew it, see, I just knew it. That Name - that terrible Name.

I Hope© everyone can read this, because I am averting my eyes from the monitor as I type

[Teflon©]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

Nothing happened yet so I assume that it was another doomsday craze that swept around, nothing new in recent years.

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

One of our maids starts banging on my bedroom door. I told her not to disturb me and the misses for the entire day. I told her to leave us, but she keep on knocking. "Massuh, Remy!! Massuh, Remy!!! Dem sintist ain't turned on dat muhshin!!! Dey's only test'n it!!!". Latasha normally has a good head on her shoulders so dislodged from my wife, got dressed and read the report. There was alot of sly talk, but I could tell that they failed and were trying to cover it up. Why "test" it today and then wait months to try it out again? They've already tested it before? What's the hold up?

Friends, our prayers have been answered. The secular atheist pseudo scientist have failed to open their gateway to the Abyss. Although they did channel the power of satan, they only managed to channel half the power of satan at any given time; therefore, they were unable to shatter the fabric of space-time and open a portal to the Abyss. Our prayers set them back so badly that they won't be able to gather enough satanic energy to retry their failed experiment for at least a few months.

Let no one ever say that God does not answer prayers.

Jesus : 1
Satan: 0

Pat yourselves on the back and...

!!!PRAISE JESUS!!!

I think you all owe Jesus alittle something extra this Sunday when the collection trough comes around during service.

[Teflon©]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

One of our maids starts banging on my bedroom door. I told her not to disturb me and the misses for the entire day. I told her to leave us, but she keep on knocking. "Massuh, Remy!! Massuh, Remy!!! Dem sintist ain't turned on dat muhshin!!! Dey's only test'n it!!!". Latasha normally has a good head on her shoulders so dislodged from my wife, got dressed and read the report. There was alot of sly talk, but I could tell that they failed and were trying to cover it up. Why "test" it today and then wait months to try it out again? They've already tested it before? What's the hold up?

Of course they tested it, what else would they do with a brand new piece equipment? And why waiting to try it out again? Because they must process the results of the test before continuing to the next step. This machine is not like a car or anything, it's way more complex and requires careful handling to get the correct results. Scientists predict that it will take some years before the full potential of this machine will be reached.

[SUV]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

By the way: What is this...Member-thingy...supposed to collide with? Some sort of cozmik cooter?

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

Of course they tested it, what else would they do with a brand new piece equipment? And why waiting to try it out again? Because they must process the results of the test before continuing to the next step. This machine is not like a car or anything, it's way more complex and requires careful handling to get the correct results. Scientists predict that it will take some years before the full potential of this machine will be reached.

Shut up, you tired old numbskull. Funny how you seem to have all the inside info, eh? We know that Richard Dawkins and the Masons are paying you to come here and spew your lies. How much analyzing would a person need? They supposedly shot a proton through a very long fire hose. If the so-called "proton" made its way through the tubes then the test is complete - Nothing to analyze. Caught you in a lie you sneaky snake!!!

Jesus and I see right through you. You're a satanist and a communist! Your demon lords will not prevail! PRAISE JESUS!!!

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

By the way: What is this...Member-thingy...supposed to collide with? Some sort of cozmik cooter?

If anything, a cozmik member. That's where the homo particles come from. Pure homersexurality.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

If anything, a cozmik member. That's where the homo particles come from. Pure homersexurality.

I heard they turned it on today! Does anyone know what time exactly, because at 2:35pm Pacific time, out of the blue, for no reason at all, I thought to myself: "I should get Cher's Greatest Hits on CD." Was that Hardon thing on at 2:35?!?!

[Teflon©]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

Shut up, you tired old numbskull. Funny how you seem to have all the inside info, eh? We know that Richard Dawkins and the Masons are paying you to come here and spew your lies. How much analyzing would a person need? They supposedly shot a proton through a very long fire hose. If the so-called "proton" made its way through the tubes then the test is complete - Nothing to analyze. Caught you in a lie you sneaky snake!!!

Jesus and I see right through you. You're a satanist and a communist! Your demon lords will not prevail! PRAISE JESUS!!!

LOL, this post clearly shows you are defeated.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

LOL, this post clearly shows you are defeated.

Did the LHC transport you to Bizarro Land?

[Remy Lebeau]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

LOL, this post clearly shows you are defeated.

Oh, really. Funny thing is, it is YOU who have evading MY questions.

How much analyzing would a person need? They supposedly shot a proton through a very long fire hose. If the so-called "proton" made its way through the tubes then the test is complete - Nothing to analyze.

The supposed "proton" made its way through the tube in both directions during two separate "tests". So how much analyzing DO they have to do, sinner?

The thing supposedly works. The logical conclusion would be that they would fire both "protons" in opposite directions now. What's the hold up?

Teflon: *cricket noises*

Didn't think so.

Did the LHC transport you to Bizarro Land?

He's clearly got nothing. This debate is clearly in the bag. That will make this my... 80th victory?

[Teflon©]

Re: "Erect Hard-On Collider" to be activated

Oh, really. Funny thing is, it is YOU who have evading MY questions.



The supposed "proton" made its way through the tube in both directions during two separate "tests". So how much analyzing DO they have to do, sinner?

The thing supposedly works. The logical conclusion would be that they would fire both "protons" in opposite directions now. What's the hold up?

Teflon: *cricket noises*

Didn't think so.



He's clearly got nothing. This debate is clearly in the bag. That will make this my... 80th victory?

Since this is the most complex machine ever build they have to do tons of analyzing but unfortunately it's just beyond your grasp of understanding. The initial tests are just to confirm if the machine works properly, looking for instance if the super magnets are aligned properly and many many other parameters that need to be checked. For a debater you seem to know little or nothing about the subject mentioned here.