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Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow.

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Default Re: HOW WILL WE RECOGNISE JESUS WHEN HE RETURNS ??? - 12-19-2008, 10:48 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Whoever PMd me that it's been 2,000 years and He will probably look like ME, I know who you are!
I only meant He'd be unusually handsome and well-preserved, Pastor . . . what did you think I meant?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: HOW WILL WE RECOGNISE JESUS WHEN HE RETURNS ??? - 12-19-2008, 11:45 PM

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Originally Posted by eliot mayfield View Post
But I doubt his tongue is a sword, because it would make talking pretty difficult.
Oh gentle Brother Mayfield: When one wields such a mighty and Godly sword, talking is not necessary.

I would like to say I like Brother Percy's painting best!

These other two make it look like Jesus is vomiting on himself, which isn't very respectful.
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Default Re: HOW WILL WE RECOGNISE JESUS WHEN HE RETURNS ??? - 12-20-2008, 12:08 AM

When JESUS returns, I will simply introduce Him to you that you may worship His Holy Presence.

During that, He can point out those who have pre-stolen his money by failing to tithe sufficiently.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: HOW WILL WE RECOGNISE JESUS WHEN HE RETURNS ??? - 02-08-2009, 11:40 AM

you wont need to recognise him because he wont come back
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Default Re: HOW WILL WE RECOGNISE JESUS WHEN HE RETURNS ??? - 02-08-2009, 11:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jonnii View Post
you wont need to recognise him because he wont come back
Liar.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: HOW WILL WE RECOGNISE JESUS WHEN HE RETURNS ??? - 02-08-2009, 12:36 PM

As an alternative, this might be helpful
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“We must reassert that the essence of Christianity is the love of obedience to God’s Laws and that how that complete obedience is used or implemented does not concern us.”

Author of such illuminating essays as,
Map of the Known World; Periodic Table of Elements; The History of Linguistics; The Errors of Wicca; Dolphins and Evolution; The History of Landover (The Apology); Landover and the Civil War; 2000 Racial Slurs.
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Default Re: HOW WILL WE RECOGNISE JESUS WHEN HE RETURNS ??? - 02-08-2009, 12:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
When JESUS returns, I will simply introduce Him to you that you may worship His Holy Presence.

During that, He can point out those who have pre-stolen his money by failing to tithe sufficiently.
I'll just recycle this valid, logical and complete answer to the question and presume that once it is read carefully it will be self-explanatory.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Jesus Re: HOW WILL WE RECOGNISE JESUS WHEN HE RETURNS ??? - 06-15-2015, 08:34 PM

Praise Jesus!

Thank you for the study material, I am finding Truth is so different from what some of us were told at Vacation Bible School. I only know that the lies many false Christians are spreading seem to imagine themselves all be holding hands, floating around, and singing "Kum ba yah", while some sissy Anti-Christ is spewing rainbows like some Satanic San Francisco Pride Parade!

Like this repulsive one I stumbled upon recently: http://www.kingdomwarriors.com/wordp...eturn-4_n1.jpg

I'm so happy I found Landover Baptists™, I feel like witnessing to the whole damned world. I can hate all those evil HOMO-SEXUALS who are going to burn for all eternity with my new found perfect hatred of the Lord, now that I went Straight-4-Jesus!


I believe it won't be so "pretty" of an affair and quite as homo-agenda infested. There will most definitely be some smiting going on (Revelations 19:14-16), and that's why I'll be dancing with Jesus like a hot Sunday afternoon Tea-Dance!

Thank you for sharing such a powerful message of love!

Oh, come quickly, Sweet Jesus!

Yours in Christ,

James


"... And that no man might buy or sell, save he that had the mark, or the name of the beast, or the number of his name. Here is wisdom. Let him that hath understanding count the number of the beast: for it is the number of a man; and his number is Six hundred threescore and six." (Revelation 13:17-18)
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