[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

On June 22nd, 2003, a think-tank I co-founded, The Bush Youth, published the following article. Though it got hardly any mainstream publication, it made it into the Republican Party's email and blast-fax networks, thus making it one of the most influential articles of the year. Today private security contractors are the backbone of the Crusade in Iraq, and we can thank these 9 paragraphs:

WMD search hampered by unpatriotic, sissy soldiers
Privatization the only solution to low productivity

By Bob Davidson
Bush Youth Foreign Correspondant

BAGHDAD -- a U.S. military in dire need of privatization and infested by "don't ask don't tell" homosexuals is responsible for the failure to find weapons of mass destruction or Al Queda supporters. US soldiers, like all public sector workers, are overpaid, lazy, and sissified, needing the shock therapy of the private sector to disipline them.

Most disturbing are the unpatrotic statements made by these limb-wristed nancies. As quoted in the Washinton Post: "What are we getting into here?" asked a sergeant with the U.S. Army's 4th Infantry Division who is stationed near Baqubah, a city 30 miles northeast of Baghdad. "The war is supposed to be over, but every day we hear of another soldier getting killed. Is it worth it? Saddam isn't in power anymore. The locals want us to leave. Why are we still here?"

Another reason for the failure to find WMD is illegals in the armed forces. Many troops spend more time taking siestas and listening to Ricky Martin than smoking out evildoers. "I don't know why they're keeping us around here," said Cpl. Anthony Arteaga, 25, of Hammond, La., who is assigned to the 588th Engineer Battalion. "We're not peacekeepers. We're heavy-combat engineers." The Bush Youth is already organizing a boycott of the entire Artega family, which will make the campaign to remove the Dixie Chicks from the airwaves look minor in comparism.

"When the battalion first arrived in Baqubah in late April, "every single person was waving at us," said 2nd Lt. Skip Boston, 24, of Marshalltown, Iowa. Now, he said, "they just stare."

"A man told me the other day that we've been here for two months and nothing's changed..."" Updates on the Bush Youth boycott of Marshalltown Iowa will be posted soon.

Military engineers recently cleared garbage from a field in Fallujah, resurfaced it with dirt and put up goal posts to create an instant soccer field.

Soldiers are evil repeating unpatriotic liberalmedia propaganda: A day later, the goal posts were stolen and all the dirt had been scraped from the field. Garbage began to pile up again. "Is this animosity, crime or both? What kind of people loot dirt?" said Capt. Allen Vaught, from the 490th Civil Affairs Battalion. Of course the dirt was not "looted", it is just more Iraqis celebrating the downfall of Saddam. Some of them loot palaces to redistribute wealth, or improvise fireworks displays by burning museams and libraries, and some redistribute dirt. Obviously it was Saddam's dirt.

At a checkpoint on the outskirts of Baghdad set up to search for illegal weapons, a soldier sweating in the 110-degree heat told a reporter, "Tell President Bush to bring us home."

We should bring them home all right - home to Guantanamo Bay!

# posted by the Bush Youth : Sunday, June 22, 2003. One God, One America, One Leader!

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

I would not have believed it Brother Jeb, but once again the Clintons have cursed us with their "don't ask, don't tell" mantra. Even the Wikipedia confirms that the mooselimbs believe in homerism:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion_and_homosexuality

Islamic teachings (in the hadith tradition) presume same-sex attraction, extol abstention and (in the Qur'an) condemn consummation. In concordance with those creeds, in Islamic countries, male desire for attractive male youths is widely expected and condoned as a human characteristic. However, it is thought that restraint from either acting on, or revealing, this desire is rewarded with an afterlife in paradise, where one is attended by perpetually young virgin lovers, women and men, houri and ghilman. (Al-Waqia 56.37, Qur'an) Homosexual intercourse itself has been interpreted to be a form of lust and a violation of the Qur'an. Thus, while homosexuality as an attraction is not against the Sharia (Islamic law, which governs the physical actions, rather than the inner thoughts and feelings), the physical action of same-sex intercourse is punishable under the Sharia.
……

The homers in our military are preventing us from prevailing over this threat to our homeland. They must think these brown towel heads are attractive and are refusing to kill them.

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

You know what I hate about the public-sector military? The absurd political correctness. Let me give you an example:

A contractor was needing some help building an oil pipeline, so I was sent to see what could be done. Turns out there were some hills in the way, and for the pipe to go through would require a lot of sand to be dug up.

No problem, but some idiot had made the decision to hire all the local unemployed men, give them shovels, and pay them to dig. Absurdly inefficient! We're here to teach these people about capitalism and free-market efficiency, we're not here to employ people! These people were thinking like union stewards!

You see, in 1988 Saddam passed a union-busting law, and while we fired and turned into second-class citizens every one of the millions of Ba'athist party members in the country, we didn't get rid of EVERYTHING Ba'athist. The law is still in effect. I mean, Saddam knew what he was doing when it came to dealing with unions.

So you have to understand, progress is about efficiency, which is about making more stuff while hiring less people. All these people whining about unemployment in Iraq are forgetting that UNEMPLOYMENT IS A SIGN OF PROGRESS. All that efficiency is making workers redundant.

So, as an example, to show Iraqis what the American way is all about, I took back the shovels, had all the Iraqis fired, and set about importing some modern, efficient construction machinery from Israel. I've heard a lot about Israeli bulldozers from all Muslims I've come across, so they must be good.

But, it turns out that everything in Israel is more expensive - greedy jews as they are. So I had to settle with buying some Iraqi digging equipment that happened to be in area. I'm talking ancient rustheaps here, practically held together with bubblegum and duct-tape.

So, we got digging, but progress was slow. Some army brass called from the Green Zone and asked me why it was taking so long. Well, there was some static and stuff, and this politically-correct statist thug completely misinterpreted what I said, and when on to misquote me, out of context, in a report that went up the command chain.

For the record, here are the ACCURATE quotations of what I said:

"It's taking forever because the work is being done by useless sand-Diggers"(That's DIGGERS with a D! Fourth letter of the alphabet, D, D, D!) "Sorry for the coughing, I can hardly breathe because of the stinking fumes from the sand-diggers. I'm surprised that none of the sand-diggers have exploded. The only way these sand-diggers will ever be profitable is if we sell their parts to the Israelis!