[Rachael Van Helsing]

Originally Posted by Alfreda

Sorry! I'll never do it again.
Oh My Gosh. I miss spelled one word and you freak out, ops two.


Alfreda

I was only being helpful.
Bad spelling makes one look like an uneducated simpleton, unless english is not your first language. You don't want to appear like a simpleton, now, do you?

[Alfreda]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

I was only being helpful.
Bad spelling makes one look like an uneducated simpleton, unless english is not your first language. You don't want to appear like a simpleton, now, do you?

No, I don't want to look like that. I'm sorry for ranting at you.


Alfreda

[Rachael Van Helsing]

That's not a problem.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Alfreda

Sorry! I'll never do it again.
Oh My Gosh. I miss spelled one word and you freak out, ops two.


Alfreda

Apparently, you used the "sarcasm" emoticon appropriately.

Congratulations!

Now, how's that Bible studying coming along? How did you do on the quizzes?

[Alfreda]

Originally Posted by OnYourKnees

Now, how's that Bible studying coming along? How did you do on the quizzes?

I'm reading the bible first. Because if I take the tests now I'll fail. Because I don't know enough.

I found the King James Version (KJV) of 1611 on the internet. And am reading the first 3 chapters today. I'll read about 3 chapters a day, until I finish.


Alfreda

[Bobby-Joe]

Originally Posted by Alfreda

I'm reading the bible first. Because if I take the tests now I'll fail. Because I don't know enough.

I found the King James Version (KJV) of 1611 on the internet. And am reading the first 3 chapters today. I'll read about 3 chapters a day, until I finish.


Alfreda

Excellent friend, then you are well on your way to understand THE TRUTH about Christianity.

So Alfreda, what is your favorite passage so far?

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Alfreda

I'm reading the bible first. Because if I take the tests now I'll fail. Because I don't know enough.

I found the King James Version (KJV) of 1611 on the internet. And am reading the first 3 chapters today. I'll read about 3 chapters a day, until I finish.


Alfreda

Oh, Alfreda, the quizzes don't cover every verse! They just hit the high points. Each quiz is only 10 multiple choice questions, and you get the answers (with relevant Scripture) at the end! Some of them are lots of fun, too. Just look at this one! God's Holy Hijinks Quiz!

When I was first coming to Jesus, I used Landover quizzes (from their correspondence school, this was a while ago!) to help guide my studies. They're a wonderful tool!

[SayvedByTheLord]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Personally, I think we in the western world are living in a society in which a brainwashing, violent, judgemental, racist, homophobic, demeaning and overall unpleasant religion has the unfortunate majority of people believing in it. Can you guess what that religion is?
Why, xtianity of course.

RVH, today my faith was challenged when I was violently and viciously rebuked for asking a question about the sexual orientation of a Senior Member. My experience in life has been that the more vigorous that denials are is directly proportional to the actual ugly truth.

It gives me pause and causes me to reevaluate peaceful wickers. I still want to find Jesus and hope to do that here.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by SayvedByTheLord

RVH, today my faith was challenged when I was violently and viciously rebuked for asking a question about the sexual orientation of a Senior Member. My experience in life has been that the more vigorous that denials are is directly proportional to the actual ugly truth.

It gives me pause and causes me to reevaluate peaceful wickers. I still want to find Jesus and hope to do that here.

I must have missed that. Why were you making Homersexural advances on one of our Pastors?

By the way, we have no "Senior Member" designation here. Pastors are Admins. And contrary to your apparent belief, ALL of our Pastors -- even Enobarbarus, despite his lusty avatar photo -- are hetrosexual, just as God commands!

[SayvedByTheLord]

Originally Posted by OnYourKnees

I must have missed that. Why were you making Homersexural advances on one of our Pastors?

By the way, we have no "Senior Member" designation here. Pastors are Admins. And contrary to your apparent belief, ALL of our Pastors -- even Enobarbarus, despite his lusty avatar photo -- are hetrosexual, just as God commands!

I made no Homersexual advances. While it is well known that all Catholic priests are Homers it is harder to determine the Homers among the Baptist pastors.

It is an eternal vigil to remove all Homers from existence and send them to Hell. Some are harder to find than others. and all are the Great Deceiver.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Brother James

George Bush has broken every commandment, so how does that make him our Godly President?

Double standards maybe?

To hell in a hand basket!

Brother James

Originally Posted by Brother James

Oh wouldn't you love to wear my dress!

I believe that, much like myself, OYK would love it far more if you faced up to his challenge. Show us the commandments, and list how GWB has broken them, or get back to North Korea so your Islamist comrades can shoot you for being the homo dog you are.

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

*Shudder*
Why does no one ever use the spellcheck?
Dose = A quantity measured out ie in medication e.g. 'She was given a dose of medicine for her headache'.

I believe that the misspelling in her post may not have been "dose" but "meditate". If her family do believe in medicating her up, it'd explain a lot.

[xtort (On Moderation)]

Originally Posted by OnYourKnees

I'm sorry that you love smilies, too.

Why not list the Ten Commandments for us, and tell US what you think?

We at Landover Baptist Church do not limit ourselves to the Ten Commandments; there are scores more in the Bible, and we follow every one. Do you?

Do you follow deuteronomy?

example:

If thou shalt hear say in one of thy cities, which the LORD thy God hath given thee to dwell there, saying,

13Certain men, the children of Belial, are gone out from among you, and have withdrawn the inhabitants of their city, saying, Let us go and serve other gods, which ye have not known;
14Then shalt thou enquire, and make search, and ask diligently; and, behold, if it be truth, and the thing certain, that such abomination is wrought among you;
15Thou shalt surely smite the inhabitants of that city with the edge of the sword, destroying it utterly, and all that is therein, and the cattle thereof, with the edge of the sword.
16And thou shalt gather all the spoil of it into the midst of the street thereof, and shalt burn with fire the city, and all the spoil thereof every whit, for the LORD thy God: and it shall be an heap for ever; it shall not be built again.
17And there shall cleave nought of the cursed thing to thine hand: that the LORD may turn from the fierceness of his anger, and shew thee mercy, and have compassion upon thee, and multiply thee, as he hath sworn unto thy fathers; 18When thou shalt hearken to the voice of the LORD thy God, to keep all his commandments which I command thee this day, to do that which is right in the eyes of the LORD thy God.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by xtort

Do you follow deuteronomy?

We are also commanded by God to follow secular laws; therefore, we do not go out and stone homersexurals and witches in place where it is illegal.

I have yet to see any city founded of people who claimed to be Christian, then renounced their faith and chose another religion. Should such a thing happen within Freehold, where God's law is not questioned, then we would follow His instructions as you have noted.

[xtort (On Moderation)]

Thank you for the clarification, I believe I understand your motives in a better light now.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Originally Posted by OnYourKnees

We are also commanded by God to follow secular laws; therefore, we do not go out and stone homersexurals and witches in place where it is illegal.

I have yet to see any city founded of people who claimed to be Christian, then renounced their faith and chose another religion. Should such a thing happen within Freehold, where God's law is not questioned, then we would follow His instructions as you have noted.

I do recall a fellow a few years back telling the newspapers that he'd left our church, and making all kinds of awful accusations against us. Of course, they would never print such nonsense, and he was found dead in his home shortly thereafter — beat himself to death with a crowbar. A sudden fit of shame must have seized him when he realized he was telling lies about God's Favorite Church, and I can't say I blame the guy.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by xtort

Thank you for the clarification, I believe I understand your motives in a better light now.

Our only motive is to follow every last bit of the Word of God, contained in the Holy KJV 1611 Bible.

If you'd like to learn a bit about how God wants us to punish people, I suggest this quiz. It's only 10 multiple-choice questions, and you get the answers with Scripture at the end.

[Hairy Homer]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

I was only being helpful.
Bad spelling makes one look like an uneducated simpleton, unless english is not your first language. You don't want to appear like a simpleton, now, do you?

Where is this spell-check thing. Are you sure that it's not a part of your browser. It's not on the forum. Not if you are using Opera, anyway.

[Nancy (Quarantined)]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

First of all, do you have your husband or father's permission to be in this Godly forum discussing Jesus? Your confusion stems from the sad fact that you Jesus made you a demale, and they are notoriously befuddled beings and need a Godly man to do their thinking.

1 Corinthians 14:34-36
Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.

Have you renounced satan and his works? Have you dropped to your knees and begged Jesus to take over your life? Have you studied the Holy KJV1611 Bible from cover to cover? Have you stopped fornicating and committing whoredoms? Given up lezbeanism? Stopped worshiping satan? Learned to make a decent pot roast?

If the answer to all of those questions is an emphatic "YES!", then you are halfway there. You will need to contact our accountants by clicking on the Paypal button at the bottom of this page and set up your Tithing regimen.

The alternative is unthinkable. Better get busy!

Hmmm not right....you have to consider the times that Corinthians was written- It was written in a time when it was only the men that were literate and educated. If these women talked in church, it was a hinderance.But if they asked their husband at home, it wouldnt be a hinderance. Times have changed, and women are more educated nowadays.

[Nancy (Quarantined)]

P.S. I am NOT "unsaved trash" btw.

[Deaner]

Originally Posted by Silverblue

P.S. I am NOT "unsaved trash" btw.

You haven't really convinced us with your first post friend.

Times have changed, and women are more educated nowadays.

Are you saying the Bible is some kind of useless, dated piece of crap??