Auntie Flo's Prayer Shack for Women For the women of Landover to discuss recipes, shoes, makeup tips, or whatever it is you natter about. Ensure you have the proper permission from your husband or father before posting. |
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-12-2012, 09:26 PM
How can you say God is real when you see the examples of His work all around you? I know that the tundra is not the most beautiful place on Earth, but it does have a certain peaceful majesty.
YiC,
Zech
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Landover Senior Outreach Touching Men, Women and Children with the Good News!
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,237
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Freehold Senior Estates
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-12-2012, 11:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by shy Rita
By the way, I will not share my mission because it'll reveal itself when it comes to completion.
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Now Rita, all this secret stuff is not serving Jesus Christ. If it was, you would freely divulge your intentions.
Romans 2:16 "In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel."
Rita, let's focus on your developing relationship with Jesus, and less on whatever shenanigans you entertain. I've grown quite fond of you, and would be so sad to see your feeble body viciously raped by Satan for all of eternity along the shores of your burning wading pool in Hell. But it ultimately is your choice.
In Christ
Matthew 19:14 "But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 67
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Godless Finland
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-13-2012, 08:59 AM
"How can you say God is real When you see the examples of His work all around you? I know that the tundra is not the most beautiful place on Earth, but it does Have A Certain peaceful majesty."
Tundra? who live in the tundra? I do not.
I live in Sweden and there is no tundra!
it should you know that apparently has been in Sweden and ate fish for breakfast
It is not god who created the earth and its inhabitants, and you know it too.
it is about physics, chemistry and evolotion
"Evolution in the biological sense is the process by which living organisms properties change from one form to another between successive generations. Theory of evolution explains how hereditary characteristics in a population changes from generation to generation through different processes. Evolution is the origin of the large variation found in the biological world: they are now, where the species are all related by a common origin, and developed over time new species from the existing ones through speciation, a product of small gradual changes over long periods of time. "http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/Evolution
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Unsaved trash, teenaged pervert
Under Investigation
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Posts: 15
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Sartell, MN
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-13-2012, 09:02 AM
Isn't an infraction to mock god? which you are clearly doing in your/the person you are supporting's signature.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 137
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Versailles KY
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-13-2012, 02:32 PM
This thread is about Personal Daintiness, Swiss Cheesehead.
go post in your own thread and stop hijacking "women only" topics.
Are you Washed in the Blood of the Lamb?
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 5
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Godless Denmark
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-13-2012, 03:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Naomi Portway
Aaron had me read this thread because he said I stunk like a dead mackeral. I did what you said, but now it hurts down there and especially when I go to the bathroom. Will it stop burning soon?
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You don't need to use Lysol, just eat other things . Pineapple is highly effective and the daily bath is of course very recommended
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,391
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Surrounded By Married Homos and Baby Killers in Godless England
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-13-2012, 04:17 PM
I've looked and looked for any reference to pineapple being good for a single thing in the Bible and it's just not there.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 864
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Following God's commands - including the 'difficult' ones.
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-14-2012, 08:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LauraAndersen
Pineapple is highly effective and the daily bath is of course very recommended
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Are you suggesting that Mrs Portway puts a pineapple in her smelly place? Thats disgusting, you pervert!!
Genesis 7:5
And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
John 8:32
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
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Unsaved trash, Arrogant Atheist Dick
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Posts: 14,455
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: The other end of the internet
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-14-2012, 08:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Noah Sole
Are you suggesting that Mrs Portway puts a pineapple in her smelly place? Thats disgusting, you pervert!!...
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Mite uncomfortable, too, I'd imagine.
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 137
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Versailles KY
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-14-2012, 10:22 AM
Ladies, has your lack of cleanliness "down there" forced your husband into the closet?
Are you Washed in the Blood of the Lamb?
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 123
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In Freehold at my husbands house.
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-14-2012, 05:25 PM
Can I just use pineapple slices? Pineapples are too big and spikey. What about those little bananas they have sometimes? And is it OK if I peel them first?
YIC
Mrs. Naomi Portway
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 161
Join Date: Apr 2012
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-14-2012, 09:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
The ladies diluted it, Rita.
I realize that a simple salt water solution, or baking soda and vinegar, are common amongst certain segments of society . . . but the True Christian™ husband needs a fresh-scented wife so he is not distracted by malodorous minge when trying to make Soldiers for Christ.
I expect Scope would work just as well.
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I thought TC men didn't get their noses anywhere near their wives' vulvas.
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One of the Lord's Airborne Rangers Salvation from Above God's Favorite Pilot™
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,282
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Flying the Friendly Skies for Jesus!
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-14-2012, 11:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fleur-de-lis
I thought TC men didn't get their noses anywhere near their wives' vulvas.
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We don't. What's that got to do with anything? Cooters are dirty, they need to be washed out on a daily basis, just like brushing your teeth. Don't you lezbos brush your teeth?
Winging our Way Across the World for The Lord!
God Bless John Boehner and God Bless the Grand Old Party!
Barack Hussein Obama is not My President!!!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 161
Join Date: Apr 2012
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-15-2012, 03:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Capt. A. Portway
We don't. What's that got to do with anything? Cooters are dirty, they need to be washed out on a daily basis, just like brushing your teeth. Don't you lezbos brush your teeth?
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I'm not a lesbian, but as far as I know, all the lesbians I know brush their teeth. But vaginas are not dirty, and douching is actually unhealthy.
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Completely CRAZY for the Lord
True Christian™
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Posts: 14,666
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Leviticus Landing
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-15-2012, 10:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Naomi Portway
Can I just use pineapple slices? Pineapples are too big and spikey. What about those little bananas they have sometimes? And is it OK if I peel them first?
YIC
Mrs. Naomi Portway
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God is clear about fruit and its status in the case of new acquisitions, Leviticus 19:23 and I trust that The Lord will speak to you Mr Portway through the Scripture.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 864
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Following God's commands - including the 'difficult' ones.
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-15-2012, 10:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Naomi Portway
Can I just use pineapple slices? Pineapples are too big and spikey. What about those little bananas they have sometimes? And is it OK if I peel them first?
YIC
Mrs. Naomi Portway
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Naomi
Don't under any circumstances put a banana in there! Especially not a big one!!
YIC
Genesis 7:5
And Noah did according unto all that the LORD commanded him.
John 8:32
And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.
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Unsaved trash
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Posts: 26
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Chattanooga, TN
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-16-2012, 06:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fleur-de-lis
I thought TC men didn't get their noses anywhere near their wives' vulvas.
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Not sure what cars have to do with anything but I'd be pretty P.O.'d if I found out on my wedding night that my girl lied about being a virgin. Its not just the two of us. Jesus is as much a part of the relatohnship as either of us and it would be horrible to disapoint him, since he died for our sins and everything. Not fornicating is small dice compared to getting cruxified.
Luke 22:20
In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 123
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In Freehold at my husbands house.
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-22-2012, 04:08 PM
The pineapple slices were a bad idea. How come nobody told me not to do that?
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-22-2012, 05:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fleur-de-lis
I thought TC men didn't get their noses anywhere near their wives' vulvas.
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If it can be smelled from across the room, there won't be much intimacy to be had, now will there?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mrs. Naomi Portway
The pineapple slices were a bad idea. How come nobody told me not to do that?
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I believe the suggestion was that you eat them, dear.
Not to worry, being pregnant, your Mommy Cave should be off-limits for the time being. We don't want Aaron beating up on his unborn son, do we?
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 123
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: In Freehold at my husbands house.
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Re: It is important for a woman to be pure. -
05-22-2012, 07:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rev. M. Rodimer
I believe the suggestion was that you eat them, dear.
Not to worry, being pregnant, your Mommy Cave should be off-limits for the time being. We don't want Aaron beating up on his unborn son, do we?
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Oh OK, thank you Reverend. So will you tell Aaron not to do that any more? Because I don't think I should tell him that, he might get mad at me. He likes to do that stuff alot, every day at least once, more on his days off, like today.
Aaron said I should have this for my signature to remind me how to be a good wife.
"Feminism is a socialist, anti-family, political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians."
Pat Robertson
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