Straight 4 Jesus! (Back Door Christians) At LBC, we will cure your perversion of choice (even if we have to stone you). |
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struggling to make sense for Jesus
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Posts: 257
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Just the other side of the tracks from Freehold, Iowa.
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
11-27-2009, 06:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Avatar
I don't think 'man' is the right word with which to describe that thing.
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That creature forgot to put the same pancake face makeup on his hands to camouflage the AIDS blotches. Nasty.
GOT DEMONS? WE CAN HELP! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO FIGHT THEM ALONE! JESUS WANTS YOU TO BE RID OF THEM ONCE AND FOR ALL! YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO IT ALONE! LET US HELP YOU RIGHT AWAY!
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Posts: 739
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: looking out the window of my Double wide
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
11-27-2009, 04:28 PM
That could not have been a MAN ,in fact IT was to ugly for either sex...Not to sure what IT was?
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Posts: 20
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
11-27-2009, 08:54 PM
No, HE is a MAN.
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Posts: 40
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
11-27-2009, 09:54 PM
I wish to add my name to the list of those offended by this so-called "test". The results are not only grossly inaccurate, but also libelous and disconcerting. True Christians™ cannot be "bi-curious"!
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Posts: 20
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
11-27-2009, 10:08 PM
Well then, if you were labeled as bi-curious, then you are no longer a "true christian" now are you?
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America's Most Fair and Balanced Judge
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Posts: 2,611
Join Date: Jun 2009
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
11-27-2009, 11:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mildred Connors
I wish to add my name to the list of those offended by this so-called "test". The results are not only grossly inaccurate, but also libelous and disconcerting. True Christians™ cannot be "bi-curious"!
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Well, Sister Mildred, since you feel being "bi-curious" is acceptable, does that mean you'd like to check out the "parts" of other females?
And if you were a male, would this mean you'd like to do the same with other men?
This is a real concern to us of the True Christian™ persuasion.
Your introductory post indicated you are somewhat matronly at the age of 36. At that age I fear you're a little long in the tooth for Rev. Jim's for his “Ladies of the Lord” sessions, but perhaps he could help. Please send him a Private Message and he may be able to provide an introductory session. You should include a high resolution photo of yourself to help him assess your chances in achieving salvation.
In the meantime, please purge your mind of these bi-curious feelings and join the other ladies of the Landover Baptist Church in a life of piety, total devotion to the male influences in their lives, and the baking of fine pies.
The Honorable HTannor (Pro NRA, Anti-Homer Marriage), Judge, Freehold Supreme Court
"Credo elvem etiam vivere"
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
11-27-2009, 11:58 PM
If people want to be bi-curious, just let them. They know how you view it, that dosn't mean they have to view it the same way.
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
11-28-2009, 01:21 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MuffinHead
Well then, if you were labeled as bi-curious, then you are no longer a "true christian" now are you?
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Who should I believe? God, or some random faggot on the interweb? Golly, that sure is a tough one!
The "test" is what is undeniably wrong here. True Christians™ are complete heterosexuals without exception.
If I want advice on how best to sodomize a boy bedecked in piercings and make-up, I'll give you a call. When it comes to God's Will, I'll take the KJV 1611.
Burn in Hell.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HTannor
Well, Sister Mildred, since you feel being "bi-curious" is acceptable, does that mean you'd like to check out the "parts" of other females?
And if you were a male, would this mean you'd like to do the same with other men?
This is a real concern to us of the True Christian™ persuasion.
Your introductory post indicated you are somewhat matronly at the age of 36. At that age I fear you're a little long in the tooth for Rev. Jim's for his “Ladies of the Lord” sessions, but perhaps he could help. Please send him a Private Message and he may be able to provide an introductory session. You should include a high resolution photo of yourself to help him assess your chances in achieving salvation.
In the meantime, please purge your mind of these bi-curious feelings and join the other ladies of the Landover Baptist Church in a life of piety, total devotion to the male influences in their lives, and the baking of fine pies.
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Brother, I fear you may have misunderstood my post - perfectly understandable, as I often have difficulty conveying the insubstantial feelings and emotions common to my capricious gender. I in no way intended to convey the position that having lustful thoughts toward the same sex is "acceptable" in any way. The Lord is crystal clear on this point, as can be witnessed in Leviticus and Romans.
I was simply upset by this "test" accusing True Christians™ of having homer inclinations - it is obviously part of a greater scheme to test our faith. There should have been a question asking "Are you a True Christian™?" and instantly make the percentage of "bi-curiosity" zero once the person taking the quiz selected "Yes". There would be no need to even consider any other factors so long as that was in there. That would have been so much easier.
While I used to engage in the tribadist deathstyle in my sin-filled youth, I have long since been saved and therefore no longer choose to have such abhorrent desires - much less act on them! I would very much like to learn from the Ladies of Landover as I await a man of my own to impregnate me with little Christian soldiers.
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,181
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
11-28-2009, 03:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mildred Connors
While I used to engage in the tribadist deathstyle in my sin-filled youth.
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I'm not sure what this means, but it sounds horrible, Mr. Milford.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Posts: 739
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: looking out the window of my Double wide
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
11-28-2009, 04:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mildred Connors
Who should I believe? God, or some random faggot on the interweb? Golly, that sure is a tough one!
The "test" is what is undeniably wrong here. True Christians™ are complete heterosexuals without exception.
If I want advice on how best to sodomize a boy bedecked in piercings and make-up, I'll give you a call. When it comes to God's Will, I'll take the KJV 1611.
Burn in Hell.
Brother, I fear you may have misunderstood my post - perfectly understandable, as I often have difficulty conveying the insubstantial feelings and emotions common to my capricious gender. I in no way intended to convey the position that having lustful thoughts toward the same sex is "acceptable" in any way. The Lord is crystal clear on this point, as can be witnessed in Leviticus and Romans.
I was simply upset by this "test" accusing True Christians™ of having homer inclinations - it is obviously part of a greater scheme to test our faith. There should have been a question asking "Are you a True Christian™?" and instantly make the percentage of "bi-curiosity" zero once the person taking the quiz selected "Yes". There would be no need to even consider any other factors so long as that was in there. That would have been so much easier.
While I used to engage in the tribadist deathstyle in my sin-filled youth, I have long since been saved and therefore no longer choose to have such abhorrent desires - much less act on them! I would very much like to learn from the Ladies of Landover as I await a man of my own to impregnate me with little Christian soldiers.
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Call ,IM, or email Brother HANK he is on the look out for a Christian Lady
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 5
Join Date: Nov 2009
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
11-30-2009, 01:07 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by MuffinHead
I do have to admit, i got a thing for the goth boys.
Especially this man
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Is that thing even human?
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Posts: 40
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: These United States
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
11-30-2009, 08:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones
I'm not sure what this means, but it sounds horrible, Mr. Milford.
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Oh, it was!
And please, call me Millie.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lola Sledge
Call ,IM, or email Brother HANK he is on the look out for a Christian Lady
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Isn't Brother Hank already courting a young lady?
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Posts: 136
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: NOT San Francisco
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
12-03-2009, 07:25 AM
This test is OBVIOUSLY innacurate. In fact I suggest we completely ban it as a church. See what this homers are doing are "rigging" our scores to suggest we are slightly bi-curious, nonsense! They are simply trying to make us "think" that we are bi-curious so that we have no problem with the gay lifestyle! Solved!
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Head Attorney of Landover's Legal Team The Most Honest Lawyer in America
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Posts: 2,471
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: God's Good Side!
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
12-03-2009, 04:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson
I assume that our Un-Gay members will all pass the test with flying colors?
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I am new here so I don't want to assume anything, but what do you mean by "our un-gay members?" Are there members of any other kind!?!?!
That said, I took the test and I must agree with everyone: It is a tricky trap! (I even chose RED!)
Quote:
You are 32% Bi-Curious!
You may have random thoughts of the same sex but most likely will never lead to much physical contact, if any at all. You are at a point where it's human nature. Most people have thought about it at a time or two.
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Unsaved trash,unintelligent, undereducated, and religious hating pig
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Posts: 172
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Doing satan's bidding
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
12-04-2009, 02:17 AM
I hate bigots. ... I despise bigots Without even knowing them I just hate them
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Posts: 19
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Location: Florida
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
12-04-2009, 02:30 AM
I don't need a test to know that i'm not daydreaming about homos.
Living without Jesus in my heart, really wasn't living.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
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Posts: 2
Join Date: Dec 2009
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
12-04-2009, 03:15 AM
You are 42% Bi-Curious!
You love the thought of the same sex! You lust for them and would love to explore more of your fantasy with them but may be shy or a little reluctant to initiate.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 2
Join Date: Dec 2009
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
12-04-2009, 03:18 AM
Adam and Steve ftw.
Love is love, regardless of gender. Even God can't be thick enough not to realise that.
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Posts: 136
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
12-04-2009, 03:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CodyFred
Adam and Steve ftw.
Love is love, regardless of gender. Even God can't be thick enough not to realise that.
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I assure you son god has no love for men who put things in their poopers.
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The Godliest Man in Godless Canuckistan
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Posts: 4,391
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: America's Frozen Attic
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Re: Are You Bi-Curious? & (Link to the test) -
12-04-2009, 04:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by CodyFred
Adam and Steve ftw.
Love is love, regardless of gender. Even God can't be thick enough not to realise that.
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Why stop at gender? I love my dog so can I bang him too? Or my Suburban. Would God understand me giving my Chevy a poke up the tailpipe? I love steak too, is it okay to rape a dead cow? All good in God's eyes? How about my ultimate Earthly love, the United States of America. Can I use the Stars and Stripes to masturbate with? Will God chuckle with glee as I do that?
Grow up and buy a Bible, tard. KJV1611.
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