Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > Pastor Zeke's News Wire
Reload this Page Godly Cartoonist Dies
Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Godly Cartoonist Dies - 04-08-2007, 11:38 PM

Praise Jesus, it isn't often that you'll hear a pastor sing the praises of a cartoonist who published weekly in secular newspapers. That tribe tends to be made up of homersexurals and joos with an axe to grind against the Holy War on Terror.

But all of True Christendom™ was saddened when the creator of the much-beloved comic strip "B.C." passed away on Easter Sunday. Johnny Hart was a deeply devout Christian, who spent something like 60 years portraying human beings living alongside various dinosaurs, just as God tells us it happened in the Holy Bible.

Brother Hart was a master at subtlety and innuendo. I have had this strip below framed in my pastoral study for several years. See if you can guess the symbolism he uses.


Now Brother Hart DID stir up some controversy during his years on earth. THIS Easter Sunday strip he published a few years ago got the hebes all in an uproar, but who actually cares what Christ-killing joos think anyway?

I'll leave you with one of my favorites, one that is simples but to the point. I believe all secular textbooks out to bear the images below on their cover, the better for children and teachers to understand what monkey worshiping scientists are truly up to.



Unfortunately, it seems unlikely that Brother Hart is doing anything but being slowly roasted alive over an open pit in satan's deepest caverns even as you read this. You see he also created another secular comic strip, a precursor to the current "Hairy Porter" devilry that we pastors are forced to do battle with each and every day. I refer of course to "The Wizard of ID", a comic that glorified sorcery as a chosen lifestyle.

I hope this will serve as a lesson for us all. Praise Jesus!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
Reply With Quote
(#2)
Old
Marshall's Avatar
Marshall Marshall is offline
Righteous and Patriotic
Highest body count at the VFW
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Saved 5 Years True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Platinum Tither Heaven Bound Punched the most queers Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot True Christian Hotrodder Home Schooled Friend of Jesus Flat Earth True Christian Justice of the Peace Eats the Most Pork Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Hatchet Child Rearing Award Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Sons of Liberty Prayer Warrior True Christian Hotrodder

 
Posts: 3,319
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Wiseman Compound and Bible Complex
Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Marshall will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Godly Cartoonist Dies - 04-09-2007, 01:27 AM

You can do all the good in the universe and it add to nothing in the face of the smallest sin. Hart would have been a wonderful addition to the Holy Choir if it wasn't for his condoning of Satanism with the accursed comic of Id. That comic was reasonably cut from the local papers around here after we raised a fair amount of Glory over it. The BC comic always puzzled me though. Here was an obviously devout man, drawing religiously positive cartoons...about cavemen? Every True Christian™ knows cave men didn't exist and further more everything BC was Before Christ. How would these imaginary men of caves know of his sweet temporary death at the hands of the Jews and pagans if they were alive long before the fact?

Puzzling indeed. I guess it must be awful to be him right about now. I imagine he wishes he wouldn't have glorified Satanism now doesn't he?


God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
Reply With Quote
(#3)
Old
Pastor Isaac Peters's Avatar
Pastor Isaac Peters Pastor Isaac Peters is offline
Senior Pastor
Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™
Always Biblically correct
True Christian™

1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Publisher's Choice True Heterosexual™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Tithing Manager Christian Love Ex-Mary Worshipper Long service medal, 2nd class Senior Pastor Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Ex-liberal True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Anti-sodomy Hands Off Crown of Glory Probing for Jesus Alternative Facts Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Isaac Peters will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Godly Cartoonist Dies - 04-10-2007, 12:29 AM

I understand that he was a member of the Presbyterian Church or some such have-a-nice-day, almost-Christian coven. Under the perfect plan of salvation decreed by our infinitely loving and merciful God, if you worship the right God, but in the wrong way, you will still go to hell:

Matt. 7:21-23: Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven. Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works? And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Besides, didn't he include talking clams in his comic strips? What could be sillier than a talking clam? The Bible tells us that serpents and asses can talk, but not clams.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance


Last edited by Pastor Isaac Peters; 04-10-2007 at 12:29 AM.
Reply With Quote
(#4)
Old
Pastor Rune Enoe's Avatar
Pastor Rune Enoe Pastor Rune Enoe is offline
Apostle of the North
 

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Christian Love 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Long service medal, 2nd class Tithing Manager Saved 5 Years Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator True Christian Nerd Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Pastor of GOD Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Eats the Most Pork Outreach preacher True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Prayer Warrior Touched by Jesus Stamp of Approval Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Prune Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Anti-Biden

 
Posts: 11,869
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: On a mission to bring Christianity to the North
Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Rune Enoe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Godly Cartoonist Dies - 04-10-2007, 04:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Brother Hart was a master at subtlety and innuendo. I have had this strip below framed in my pastoral study for several years. See if you can guess the symbolism he uses.

I slam, you slam, everybody slams Islam.

Rah, rah, raaazberry! Name:  temp.gif
Views: 45
Size:  1.1 KB


Holbein

1st Corinthians 15:16 For if the dead rise not, then is not Christ raised:
1st Corinthians 15:17 And if Christ be not raised, your faith is vain; ye are yet in your sins.
1st Corinthians 15:18 Then they also which are fallen asleep in Christ are perished.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved