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Catholic Superstition The lies of the Catholic "church" exposed in light of the truth of Scripture

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Default Virgin Mary - 01-13-2007, 07:42 PM

I saw this movie, it was called The Da Vinci Code. It said jesus' was married to some phat ass chick named Mary. If so is Mary his wife or his mom? I'm still confused how this bible thing works..
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Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-13-2007, 08:27 PM

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Originally Posted by zeeg View Post
I saw this movie, it was called The Da Vinci Code. It said jesus' was married to some phat ass chick named Mary. If so is Mary his wife or his mom? I'm still confused how this bible thing works..
The Da Vinci Code is a tool of Satan, so watching that movie was a grievous mistake. Pray to God for forgiveness now before it's too late.
But in answer to your question, there were two Marys in our Lord's blessed life. There was Mary the Adulteress who conceived Jesus with the Holy Spirit out of wedlock, and there was Mary Magdalene the Whore who would never have been able to tempt our Lord into wedlock with a trollop like her.


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
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Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-13-2007, 08:30 PM

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Originally Posted by zeeg View Post
If so is Mary his wife or his mom? I'm still confused how this bible thing works..
Jesus wasn't married to any slut named Mary (Pardon me, Sister Maria). The Landover Baptist Church is the bride if Christ.
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Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-13-2007, 08:48 PM

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Jesus wasn't married to any slut named Mary (Pardon me, Sister Maria). The Landover Baptist Church is the bride if Christ.
AMEN© Pastor Danish!!



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Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 12:11 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prune Danish View Post
Jesus wasn't married to any slut named Mary (Pardon me, Sister Maria).
You're pardoned. My name is my name, and I can't help that my papist parents couldn't be more original.


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1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

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Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 12:19 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Prune Danish View Post
Jesus wasn't married to any slut named Mary (Pardon me, Sister Maria). The Landover Baptist Church is the bride if Christ.
The bride of Christ? We're all nuns now? Am I on the right site?!


Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 12:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
The bride of Christ? We're all nuns now? Am I on the right site?!
As long as you are on the right side of the kitchen counter, rolling our pie crusts, then everything is fine. Don't overtax your little head.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 01:28 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by zeeg View Post
I saw this movie, it was called The Da Vinci Code. It said jesus' was married to some phat ass chick named Mary. If so is Mary his wife or his mom? I'm still confused how this bible thing works..
First of all, the movie was pure filth. Ron Howard needs to stop making these movies with Tom Hanks. It's just hard to believe that little Opie is making all these horrific films.

The "Mary" referred to in the film is none other than Mary Magdelene. The Gnostics have a "Gospel of Mary", and it is hypothesised that the 4th gospel, attributed to an unknown author, was in fact written by Mary as well.

http://www.bibleufo.com/anomlostbooks.htm
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Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 02:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
As long as you are on the right side of the kitchen counter, rolling our pie crusts, then everything is fine. Don't overtax your little head.
How about cupcakes? I made some today for the roommate who's going off on a research trip for a few weeks. (And they're not Mexican so you can't complain. )
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Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
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Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 02:40 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
How about cupcakes? I made some today for the roommate who's going off on a research trip for a few weeks. (And they're not Mexican so you can't complain. )
Very nice, sister, very nice. We need to find you a Godly Husband to bake for.

How are you with rabbit casserole?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

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Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 03:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Very nice, sister, very nice. We need to find you a Godly Husband to bake for.

How are you with rabbit casserole?
Thanks! Oh I'm having a grand time baking for anyone and no one in particular as it is. oh and God of course, who seems especially fond of black forest cake made with a lot of wine, topped with strawberries.

You keep asking about that casserole Pastor and I keep telling you, I don't cook rabbits! Cow, sheep, goat, chicken, fish eels and assorted shellfish, even ducks and snails but not.rabbits.


Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid

Last edited by Arethusa; 01-14-2007 at 03:02 AM.
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Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 07:17 AM

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Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
Thanks! Oh I'm having a grand time baking for anyone and no one in particular as it is. oh and God of course, who seems especially fond of black forest cake made with a lot of wine, topped with strawberries.

You keep asking about that casserole Pastor and I keep telling you, I don't cook rabbits! Cow, sheep, goat, chicken, fish eels and assorted shellfish, even ducks and snails but not.rabbits.
The cake sounds delightful!

I'm thinking it'd be a great Easter Sunday dessert, right after some Easter Bunny Stew! I'm telling ya, the kids will rush to the table when you tell them they're going to see the Easter Bunny at dinnertime!

Last year, Rosa made Easter Bunny Stew for the local church potluck here in Salem. We even made sure that the weekly program said that the Easter Bunny would be there!

The children gathered 'round, and when Rosa opened up the pot, oh, the cries of joy! The tears of happiness, rolling down their sweet little cheeks! It was a beautiful thing to behold.

I get a little misty myself, thinking about it.
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Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 07:40 AM

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Originally Posted by Arethusa View Post
How about cupcakes? I made some today for the roommate who's going off on a research trip for a few weeks. (And they're not Mexican so you can't complain. )
What's that disgusting stuff on the tops? Is it pus?


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"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Posts: 15,215
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Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 11:06 PM

I enjoy nothing more than inviting the Menfolk around to have a nibble on my Cupcakes for afters.
Rabbit Casserole for main course washed down of course with a little Dickens Cider.

You should try this Sister Arethusa. You may even end up with a fine upstanding member of our True Christian™ community and at last find yourself a husband.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 11:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
I enjoy nothing more than inviting the Menfolk around to have a nibble on my Cupcakes for afters.
Rabbit Casserole for main course washed down of course with a little Dickens Cider.

You should try this Sister Arethusa. You may even end up with a fine upstanding member of our True Christian™ community and at last find yourself a husband.
True words, sister T! All that girl needs is one of our True Christian™ Brothers, rock-hard for Jesus, enjoying their Dickens Cider. I know of several Brothers who are always up for the task at hand. And having free access to her sweet cupcakes would make them perky, I know. GLORY!!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Talitha Talitha is offline
Deaconess
Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Long service medal, 3rd class Real American™ Gunfest '08 Cleanest Kitchen Platinum Tither True Christian Lady True Christian Provider™ award Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Christian Love Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life TC Bravery Ex-Brit True Republican Ex-eurotrash Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Long service medal, 2nd class Early riser Touched by Jesus Donald Trump 2016! Pastor Ezekiel Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,215
Join Date: Jan 1970
Location: God's Own America
Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Talitha will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 11:30 PM

Well, Pastor, now you are here. How about we organise a little treat for you, where both myself and Sister Arethusa have a contest.

All the menfolk can compare our Cup-cakes in a sort of Perky Play-off.
The one with the Perkiest wins, and if there is a draw then a Pastor makes the final decision.
The winning Lady gets some free Dickens Cider from said Pastor.


.



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Virgin Mary - 01-14-2007, 11:33 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Well, Pastor, now you are here. How about we organise a little treat for you, where both myself and Sister Arethusa have a contest.

All the menfolk can compare our Cup-cakes in a sort of Perky Play-off.
The one with the Perkiest wins, and if there is a draw then a Pastor makes the final decision.
The winning Lady gets some free Dickens Cider from said Pastor.


.
Count me IN! Praise Jesus!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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