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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 11-25-2007, 06:56 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond View Post
Being raped is no excuse. Read the following, and tell me exactly where it says "unless one of them was raped":

"If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them”-Leviticus 20:13

Deuteronomy 22:23-24 says that women who are raped and fail to “cry out loud” are most likely enjoying it, and therefore must be excecuted:

22:23 If a damsel that is a virgin be betrothed unto an husband, and a man find her in the city, and lie with her;

22:24 Then ye shall bring them both out unto the gate of that city, and ye shall stone them with stones that they die; the damsel, because she cried not, being in the city; and the man, because he hath humbled his neighbour's wife: so thou shalt put away evil from among you.
I am sorry, I am not all that familiar with the bible and had a thought that if the other dog rejected the act rather then embraced he could be salvaged.

Once again, I apologise.
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 11-28-2007, 08:31 PM

I cannot believe this. At first, I thought this forum was a joke. I thought some people assembled a web site in order to overly dramatize how obsessed people can be with religion and the way they can over react. Some of the posts I've seen have been so outlandish that I thought they could not be serious. You people would seriously kill a dog because it's "Gay?" Firstly, dogs cannot be gay. Period. They do not seek relationships with other dogs for pleasure.... it's a ridiculous idea. Secondly, which God taught you people to kill so calously? Perhaps I misunderstood the Ten Commandments, but I'm fairly certain I read "Thou Shall Not Kill." God's creations are beautiful. Learn to respect them. I think if I die and go to Hell.... it will likely be the sending of my soul to gated community of Landover Baptist Church. God have mercy.

-Lucas
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Thumbs down Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 11-29-2007, 07:45 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Satan Squatted On My Soul View Post
[snippity-snip soapbox rants ] I think if I die and go to Hell.... it will likely be the sending of my soul to gated community of Landover Baptist Church. God have mercy.
there no needs for the amateer dramaticks, Mr.SatanSoul! i not moved by your wind bag monologs, i not cry no tears for you, it true
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 11-29-2007, 07:54 AM

Quote:
I think if I die and go to Hell.... it will likely be the sending of my soul to gated community of Landover Baptist Church. God have mercy.
My goodness, what a thought! Don't worry, satan child, as long as y'all aren't saved, you won't be going anywhere near Landover.
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 11-29-2007, 05:40 PM

You know, it just occurred to me today that LBC has never addressed the issue of race as it affects dogs. I mean, we know that the Lord favors people with light skin, so isn't it logical to conclude that the Lord also looks favorably upon white or blond dogs, as opposed to black dogs?

YIC,
Buford


yours in Christ,
Brother Buford



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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 11-29-2007, 06:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Petal View Post
there no needs for the amateer dramaticks, Mr.SatanSoul! i not moved by your wind bag monologs, i not cry no tears for you, it true
And there is no need for the lowsy spelling and grammar. I think the motto for Landover Baptist ought to be "Retardation: A Celebration!" Yes.... quite fitting.

-Lucas
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 11-30-2007, 02:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr.Satan Squatted On My Soul View Post
Yes.... quite fitting.
that a disgustin thang to say on a thread about homer doggies, you so insenstives, but i not, cuz i be postin to helps Momma Glynndie helps the girl wiv problim puppys.

nows, i be wonderin if there be a kitty in the home, cuz sometimes kitty will rule the roosts an it make doggie confuseds about his role in the worlds



if kitty to domininent, doggie will look for lurve amongs other kitty-whupped doggies, an it not matter to doggie weather they be boy doggie or girl doggie, he gonna find lurve an sniff butts an do the nasty wiv any ole doggie, cuz his spirt were broken by bossy kitty
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 11-30-2007, 02:07 AM

I'm afraid that anyone with a lick of sense knows full well that the only way to cure a homo dog is to introduce him to a bullet. It's the most merciful thing to do. Who'd want to spend their life as a sickening queer homo dog, with no right whatsoever to live on God's sweet Earth?

Lock and load. That's all that can be done.

YIC, Brother Hunt
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 11-30-2007, 09:35 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satan Accepted My Soul View Post

And there is no need for the lowsy (correct spelling: lousy) spelling and grammar. I think the motto for Landover Baptist ought to be "Retardation: A Celebration!" Yes .... quite fitting.

-Lucas
Landover Baptist happens to be Jesus' favorite Church, and yes even retardeds can get Saved® here, satan boy!

Can yooooou? (don't count on it, with a name like yours)


1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 11-30-2007, 09:42 PM

I think it needs to be mentioned that homer doggies are almost certainly infected with AIDS. So it's a public health necessity to kill homer dogs before they infect humans.

Think about that, next time you pet a puppy.

YIC,
Buford


yours in Christ,
Brother Buford



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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 12-01-2007, 02:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Satan Accepted My Soul View Post
I cannot believe this. At first, I thought this forum was a joke. I thought some people assembled a web site in order to overly dramatize how obsessed people can be with religion and the way they can over react. Some of the posts I've seen have been so outlandish that I thought they could not be serious. You people would seriously kill a dog because it's "Gay?" Firstly, dogs cannot be gay. Period. They do not seek relationships with other dogs for pleasure.... it's a ridiculous idea. Secondly, which God taught you people to kill so calously? Perhaps I misunderstood the Ten Commandments, but I'm fairly certain I read "Thou Shall Not Kill." God's creations are beautiful. Learn to respect them. I think if I die and go to Hell.... it will likely be the sending of my soul to gated community of Landover Baptist Church. God have mercy.

-Lucas
Oh my Gabooshikness! The fact that you would kill a poor DOG because's he's quote-on-quote "GAY" truly sickens me. What kind of demented, twisted person would shoot a dog because some book says so?
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 12-01-2007, 02:46 PM

Quote:
You know, it just occurred to me today that LBC has never addressed the issue of race as it affects dogs. I mean, we know that the Lord favors people with light skin, so isn't it logical to conclude that the Lord also looks favorably upon white or blond dogs, as opposed to black dogs?
Ha. Ha ha. So funny. The fact that you think that completely cracks me up. Does god like a lighter-colored faun better than a darker colored fawn? Hawks over buzzards? Oooooooooooooh!!!!

Quote:
I think it needs to be mentioned that homer doggies are almost certainly infected with AIDS. So it's a public health necessity to kill homer dogs before they infect humans.

Think about that, next time you pet a puppy
Haha. That one cracks me up more so. First off, hunneh bunneh, dogs don't pass on AIDS to people. Wow, would ya look at that!

And still: what the heck is a "homer" thing? Last time I checked, proper grammar was "Homo".

Quote:
that a disgustin thang to say on a thread about homer doggies, you so insenstives, but i not, cuz i be postin to helps Momma Glynndie helps the girl wiv problim puppys.

nows, i be wonderin if there be a kitty in the home, cuz sometimes kitty will rule the roosts an it make doggie confuseds about his role in the worlds
Now, my bone isn't completely with you, but could you please make an effort for grammer? I'm asking nicely because it's not you I dun like.
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 12-01-2007, 02:52 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Buford T Scoggins View Post
You know, it just occurred to me today that LBC has never addressed the issue of race as it affects dogs. I mean, we know that the Lord favors people with light skin, so isn't it logical to conclude that the Lord also looks favorably upon white or blond dogs, as opposed to black dogs?

YIC,
Buford
You may have a point, and may the LORD have mercy on my choice of dogs

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I'll better get the gun out!
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 12-01-2007, 04:26 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Gir_rocks View Post
Oh my Gabooshikness! The fact that you would kill a poor DOG because's he's quote-on-quote "GAY" truly sickens me. What kind of demented, twisted person would shoot a dog because some book says so?
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gir_rocks View Post
Haha. That one cracks me up more so. First off, hunneh bunneh, dogs don't pass on AIDS to people.
Not if they're killed in time they don't.
Quote:
And still: what the heck is a "homer" thing? Last time I checked, proper grammar was "Homo".
And last time I checked, proper behaviour was "hetero", but that doesn't stop the homers.
Quote:
Now, my bone isn't completely with you...
So you do have at least a partial "bone" for our beloved Petal? That's just sick.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
You may have a point, and may the LORD have mercy on my choice of dogs

Attachment 6721

I'll better get the gun out!
Why is your dog dressed up as a pagan idol?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 12-01-2007, 04:42 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post

Why is your dog dressed up as a pagan idol?
Apologies Brother. It's my wife again, I'm afraid. I guess it was a step up from this:


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(apologies as well for the offensive nature of this picture )
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 12-01-2007, 04:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
Apologies Brother. It's my wife again, I'm afraid. I guess it was a step up from this:

Attachment 6722

(apologies as well for the offensive nature of this picture )
That is indeed a pretty offensive picture. On the other hand, if you got a pig, dressed it up like that, and named it MoHammed, it'd be hilarious.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 12-01-2007, 10:25 PM

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Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
That is indeed a pretty offensive picture. On the other hand, if you got a pig, dressed it up like that, and named it MoHammed, it'd be hilarious.
Of course that would be hilarious. But then we decided that labradors are bad enough when it comes to "shit"

I also have to admit to you that some of the people we frequent frequented are... mudslimes. I told you it was a big mess over here. See, we are tought to have respect for minorities <spit> over here in gayland EU. I now see the error of my ways, fortunately. And they won't stop to remind me that there are 1.3 billion of them, so they can go take a hike anyway

Just think of the picture as a bad portrait of ET in a basket
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 12-01-2007, 11:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wide-Open View Post
Of course that would be hilarious. But then we decided that labradors are bad enough when it comes to "shit"

I also have to admit to you that some of the people we frequent frequented are... mudslimes. I told you it was a big mess over here. See, we are tought to have respect for minorities <spit> over here in gayland EU. I now see the error of my ways, fortunately. And they won't stop to remind me that there are 1.3 billion of them, so they can go take a hike anyway

Just think of the picture as a bad portrait of ET in a basket
Well, just remember that when Jesus returns (any day now, trust me) the streets of "Belgium" or whatever fake eurotrash cesspool you care to name will run red with rivers of mudslime blood. They can "immigrate" all they like, but Jesus isn't so easily fooled.

“And the slain of the Lord shall be at that day from one end of the earth even unto the other end of the earth: they shall not be lamented, neither gathered, nor buried, they shall be dung upon the ground.” (Jeremiah 25:33)


Having mentioned and displayed this dog of yours, and knowing that you claim to be a (shudder) Belgian, I need to ask you a rather delicate question....You see, we True Christians™ in America know that dog sodomy is perfectly legal and commonly practiced in the cesspool known as "Belgiam", so I have to ask....You don't...I mean, you haven't....KNOWN that mutt in the Biblical sense of the word, have you?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 12-02-2007, 12:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Having mentioned and displayed this dog of yours, and knowing that you claim to be a (shudder) Belgian, I need to ask you a rather delicate question....You see, we True Christians™ in America know that dog sodomy is perfectly legal and commonly practiced in the cesspool known as "Belgiam", so I have to ask....You don't...I mean, you haven't....KNOWN that mutt in the Biblical sense of the word, have you?
Of course we do dog sodomy. We are Belgiams after all. I do try to abstain, but it's hard. One thing I"ve learned (before losing my thallywacker) is that allowing them to get to know you orally in the biblical sense is not exactly a good idea. They chew on things, and have trained their teeth. Lesson learned I suppose.
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Default Re: HELP! My Dog is GAY!!!! - 12-02-2007, 03:26 AM

Attachment 6722

You can see that this poor dog is miserable being forced to wear Muslim dress. That's animal abuse! Obviously, even the dog has enough sense to accept Jesus as his personal savior.

Praise Jesus (or else),
Buford


yours in Christ,
Brother Buford



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