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Unhappy My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-10-2011, 05:57 AM

Friends,

My buddy Earl called me earlier this evening to inform me that the LORD has chosen to test his faith by giving him testicular cancer. Earl agreed when I said he should be thankful for this wonderful opportunity to strengthen his personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and that the LORD never gives us more than we can handle with His help.

However, Earl is seriously considering having his cancerous testicle removed, despite the warnings from Scripture:

Deuteronomy 23:1
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.


For those who know Earl, please pay him a visit and reinforce the warnings and admonishment I have given him about the perils of putting his faith in secular science rather than in the LORD of Hosts. Please remind him that prayer is sufficient for curing all illnesses if we truly have faith in Jesus, and that if God chooses not to cure his cancer, that it is all part of His Plan.

Mark 16:17-18
And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.


Perhaps several of us should visit him after services on Sunday to administer a laying-on of hands and exhort Earl not to follow the Godless, secular doctors' advice to mutilate his privy member.

And please, keep Earl and his family in your prayers.


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-10-2011, 06:54 AM

Careful where you lay those hands tho. You don't want to catch cancer, or worse give Satan the chance to tempt one of the weaker members of the congregation into becoming gay. No, it's all just too risky. Better to leave it to prayer and private prayer at that. Using smutty language in public is very embarassing. Why is your "friend" inflicting this on you, I wonder?
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-10-2011, 07:57 AM

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Originally Posted by Little Donkey View Post
Careful where you lay those hands tho. You don't want to catch cancer, or worse give Satan the chance to tempt one of the weaker members of the congregation into becoming gay. No, it's all just too risky. Better to leave it to prayer and private prayer at that. Using smutty language in public is very embarassing. Why is your "friend" inflicting this on you, I wonder?
He has cancer, not the Aids. You can't get it by touching him.

Have you read the Bible, son? Mark 16:18 makes it very clear that True Believers heal the sick by the laying on of hands.


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-10-2011, 11:00 AM

I will pray for your friends testicles, Brother Jedediah. Is he sure it is not just testicle demons? They are pretty easy to expell. A good swift kick or single swing of a stout peice of hickory will do it. Rev. Osborne has told me when he gets them from time to time, As long as you catch them early or as a preventative measure, he has them exercised out.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-10-2011, 02:06 PM



Isn't he going get some treatment like radioteraia or quimioterapia?
I think he should be a good idea too, no?

YIC, Mari


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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-10-2011, 02:15 PM

Easy cure is using 2 housebricks but whoever is doing it make sure they keep their thumbs out of the way as the pain can be unbearable if they are caught between the bricks
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-10-2011, 02:37 PM

well, i hope your friend gets well soon. and God willing he will!

on a side note, I was just finishing off the brine from a jar of cousin jeb's pickled hog testicles. is it possible to catch the cancer from eatin a tainted testicle? like say one of these poached hogs cousin jeb gelded had the cancer, like could I catch it too?


Genesis 1:24
And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind: and it was so."
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-10-2011, 05:07 PM

This is a tricky situation, and one that does not need the input of dizzy females. Begone to your kitchens, women!

Now that it's only men here, let's have an honest, Christian discussion about this.

Deuteronomy 23:1 is definitely something to consider. JESUS is very particular about who He lets into His house, and He never made any exceptions for those who lost manly bits to cancer.

However, JESUS does advise us in Matthew 19:12 that if you've become a eunuch to please GOD, then you're okay.

For there are some eunuchs, which were so born from their mother's womb: and there are some eunuchs, which were made eunuchs of men: and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He that is able to receive it, let him receive it. - Matthew 19:12

Has Earl had any serious problems with lust or masturbation? If so, this may be GOD's way of punishing Earl with a painful and embarrassing disease, while also encouraging him to do something he should've done sooner: Become a eunuch.

But not just a half-eunuch. Even if the cancer affects only one testicle, he should order his doctor to remove them both. If he has a good Christian doctor, this should not be an issue, regardless of health.



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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-10-2011, 05:19 PM

You bring up some good points Bob. There are several correct decisions that could be made in this case. I'm going to pray that Earl prayerfully makes the right decision.
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-11-2011, 12:33 AM

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Originally Posted by Jedediah View Post
Friends,

My buddy Earl called me earlier this evening to inform me that the LORD has chosen to test his faith by giving him testicular cancer. Earl agreed when I said he should be thankful for this wonderful opportunity to strengthen his personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and that the LORD never gives us more than we can handle with His help.

However, Earl is seriously considering having his cancerous testicle removed, despite the warnings from Scripture:

Deuteronomy 23:1
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.

For those who know Earl, please pay him a visit and reinforce the warnings and admonishment I have given him about the perils of putting his faith in secular science rather than in the LORD of Hosts. Please remind him that prayer is sufficient for curing all illnesses if we truly have faith in Jesus, and that if God chooses not to cure his cancer, that it is all part of His Plan.

Mark 16:17-18
And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.

Perhaps several of us should visit him after services on Sunday to administer a laying-on of hands and exhort Earl not to follow the Godless, secular doctors' advice to mutilate his privy member.

And please, keep Earl and his family in your prayers.
I'll pray for him. Maybe, the cancer will he taken away, and his stones will be twice as healthy; just like the way God blessed Job with twice everything he lost...
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-11-2011, 12:55 AM

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Originally Posted by DDM1985 View Post
I'll pray for him. Maybe, the cancer will he taken away, and his stones will be twice as healthy; just like the way God blessed Job with twice everything he lost...
Why you call them 'stones' ?
You are refer to his 'eggs', yes?


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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-11-2011, 01:53 AM

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Originally Posted by María Gálvez-Villalobos View Post
Why you call them 'stones' ?
You are refer to his 'eggs', yes?
The KJV refers to them as "stones".

Technically, "eggs" are usually made in females, so I don't think it really fits that well... like the way a hen lays eggs, while a rooster doesn't. See the difference? But, I suppose some people could call them that, considering the shape of an egg...
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-11-2011, 01:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DDM1985 View Post
The KJV refers to them as "stones".

Technically, "eggs" are usually made in females, so I don't think it really fits that well... like the way a hen lays eggs, while a rooster doesn't. See the difference? But, I suppose some people could call them that, considering the shape of an egg...
OK. Is just that in spanish we call them 'eggs' I suppose cos thay feel the same. * Not hard like stones* exactly.** But OK, I wasn't sure, thank you for the explains.


YIC, Mari.

(*My uncle wgo is a urologist sayed me this!**)


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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-11-2011, 02:11 AM

Sad news brother,

I think you might comfort your friend were you to suggest that his children might have grown up to be murderers or rapists. Everything follows His plan for us and perhaps God sought to nip something terrible in the bud.

God is, if nothing else, truly ingenious.

YIC
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-11-2011, 05:57 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by María Gálvez-Villalobos View Post
OK. Is just that in spanish we call them 'eggs' I suppose cos thay feel the same. * Not hard like stones* exactly.** But OK, I wasn't sure, thank you for the explains.


YIC, Mari.

(*My uncle wgo is a urologist sayed me this!**)
Maria, why do you NEVER listen? Brother Fore asked that ALL ladies (and with you, I use that term loosely) leave this thread and let the men figure this out. First, you shouldn't even be THINKING about about the stones of any man, let alone those of a married Christian!

Second, (and again this goes double for you) women are of little help in discussing spiritual matters of any kind, unless it involves sewing, cooking, or in your case, whoredoms. But in cases that involve stones or tallywhackers, women are more than useless, that actually make it harder to get anything solved. We men feel we cannot completely express ourselves when discussing male naughty bits if there is even a CHANCE that a woman might read it!

So please Maria, do us all a favor and keep your greasy nose out of this thread. This goes for all of the Ladies of Landover, except for the greasy part of course.




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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-11-2011, 08:33 PM

I pray for your friend's testicle and hope that he will wait for God to cure him. He cannot come to the Lord with only one, and it is better for his earthly life to be shorter if that is God's plan rather than to go to Hell for eternity.


"Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).
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bosflamingo bosflamingo is offline
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-26-2011, 01:39 AM

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Originally Posted by Jedediah View Post
Friends,

My buddy Earl called me earlier this evening to inform me that the LORD has chosen to test his faith by giving him testicular cancer. Earl agreed when I said he should be thankful for this wonderful opportunity to strengthen his personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and that the LORD never gives us more than we can handle with His help.

However, Earl is seriously considering having his cancerous testicle removed, despite the warnings from Scripture:

Deuteronomy 23:1
He that is wounded in the stones, or hath his privy member cut off, shall not enter into the congregation of the LORD.


For those who know Earl, please pay him a visit and reinforce the warnings and admonishment I have given him about the perils of putting his faith in secular science rather than in the LORD of Hosts. Please remind him that prayer is sufficient for curing all illnesses if we truly have faith in Jesus, and that if God chooses not to cure his cancer, that it is all part of His Plan.

Mark 16:17-18
And these signs shall follow them that believe; In my name shall they cast out devils; they shall speak with new tongues;
They shall take up serpents; and if they drink any deadly thing, it shall not hurt them; they shall lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.


Perhaps several of us should visit him after services on Sunday to administer a laying-on of hands and exhort Earl not to follow the Godless, secular doctors' advice to mutilate his privy member.

And please, keep Earl and his family in your prayers.
If your friend doesnt see a doctor, he will die. PERIOD.
I understand that you want to hold on to your beliefs, but when it's a matter of life or death you might want to reconsider.

Peace.
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Billy Bob Jenkins Billy Bob Jenkins is offline
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-26-2011, 02:12 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bosflamingo View Post
If your friend doesnt see a doctor, he will die. PERIOD.
I understand that you want to hold on to your beliefs, but when it's a matter of life or death you might want to reconsider.

Peace.
Life and death are trivial things when one's immortal soul hangs in the balance, friend.


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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-26-2011, 02:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bosflamingo View Post
If your friend doesnt see a doctor, he will die. PERIOD.
I understand that you want to hold on to your beliefs, but when it's a matter of life or death you might want to reconsider.

Peace.
A True Christian™ would NEVER reconsider Jesus!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: My best friend has testicular cancer - 06-26-2011, 04:59 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by bosflamingo View Post
If your friend doesnt see a doctor, he will die. PERIOD.
I understand that you want to hold on to your beliefs, but when it's a matter of life or death you might want to reconsider.

Peace.
Your stubborn refusal to believe in miracles, despite mountains of evidence, is appalling. You are a proud sinner, and your life is utterly devoid of meaning without Jesus in your heart. If you continue the wicked path you are on, you will never know what it is to be filled with the Holy Spirit. I truly pity you.

Matthew 17:20
And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.


II Thessalonians 1:7-9
And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power



The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony
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