[Born Again Bob]

Dear Friends,

Recently, a very special episode of DeGassi Junior High brought to light a growing problem in our neighbor to the North. In the episode, entitle, "The Shout," a young woman got invited to a party by a local jock. She prepared by getting all "slutted up," including with silver lame do-me pumps and glitter eye-liner. The ho also wore a hockey mask, as it is well-known that Canadian men cannot maintain an erection unless they are thinking of Gordie Howe.

So the girl goes to the party and lures her mark up to an empty bedroom. Since he's been chugging roofie-laden Gatorade all night, the lad's resistance is way down. And she date rapes him repeatedly! We see the scene from his perspective, as he believes it is gap-toothed legendary scorer Gordie Howe with whom he's fornicating. The room spins...

And the next day he feels ashamed for having been date raped. So he decides to become a homosexual and starts pulling tricks at the local gas station for swigs of whisky from trucker's canteens. Then I sorta lost the thread of it.

But the overall lesson is clear: BEWARE OF CANADIAN DATE RAPISTS!

Yours in Him,
bab

[Brother McGregor]

Having spent some time in the Canadian north spreading the word of the Gospels I can attest to what you are saying and also say with considerable conviction that God does hate Canadians.
Not only do they like to date rape and wear hockey masks...using a hockey stick as the sordid instrument of pleasure, they also have a premier (a provincial leader) who gets busted for drunken driving in another country and is an embarrassment to the four sober Canadians. A prime minister who seems to not understand why he has been elected and briefly even had a woman in power but got rid of her at the cessation of her unclean period stating the financial fabric of the country was not equipped to deal with pms.
They annually hold sodomite festivals in all their cities and allow their limp wristed duets the right to marry. They are planning on giving large chunks of land back to their first nations people who were bloody lucky as far as I am concerned that the johnny canucks didn't believe in genocide and in thanks should quit harping on the land all the time.
It is unfortunate that the land mass cannot be split along the 49th parallel and set Canada (the blighted dumb-minion) adrift.