The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. |
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 4
Join Date: Dec 2015
|
|
Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 10:26 AM
My name is Meecron Forthax, and i am an individual sent back from the year 2680. In the future, religion has been wiped out and all people are forced into a communistic atheist regime by a cruel robot dictator! But i KNOW that in my heart, the religion you people worship MUST be true! It will take some time for me to adjust to and learn of your beliefs, but i will do what i must. But for now, i need YOUR help in teakign down Dictatorbot-XRT5600 and reestablishing fundamentalist christianity so i can save the future!
Amen!
|
|
Psychotheological Analyst Therapist
|
|
Posts: 9,051
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Surrounded by queers.
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 10:32 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistFromTheFuture
My name is Meecron Forthax, and i am an individual sent back from the year 2680. In the future, religion has been wiped out and all people are forced into a communistic atheist regime by a cruel robot dictator! But i KNOW that in my heart, the religion you people worship MUST be true! It will take some time for me to adjust to and learn of your beliefs, but i will do what i must. But for now, i need YOUR help in teakign down Dictatorbot-XRT5600 and reestablishing fundamentalist christianity so i can save the future!
Amen!
|
Young, lady. If you are from the future I am a monkey's uncle. Jesus will have returned by then so you are scientifically disproved for the outset.
Be honest. Jesus brought you here for a reason. Let Him in.
YIC
1 Corinthians 11:3 But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.
Revelation 22:15 For without are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie.
Leviticus 20:13 If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.
|
|
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 10:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistFromTheFuture
My name is Meecron Forthax, and i am an individual sent back from the year 2680. In the future, religion has been wiped out and all people are forced into a communistic atheist regime by a cruel robot dictator! But i KNOW that in my heart, the religion you people worship MUST be true! It will take some time for me to adjust to and learn of your beliefs, but i will do what i must. But for now, i need YOUR help in teakign down Dictatorbot-XRT5600 and reestablishing fundamentalist christianity so i can save the future!
Amen!
|
Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and call "Baloney!" on your whole premise, supported by Scripture of course.
If you could time travel, naturally you'd know what the future holds (hence your retarded claims about "teakign (sic) down Dictatorbot-XRT5600!").
But Jesus tells us you can't know what's happening in the future:
(James 4:14) "Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."
Sooo...how 'bout some truth, pal?
Yours in Christ,
Z. Smyth
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 4
Join Date: Dec 2015
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 10:51 AM
Oh, Jesus had indeed returned. Did it in 2066. Fantastic for the world, but that godawful XRT5600 invented the dastardliest weapon of all: A Mind Erasal Device!
It forces you to change your heart and mind, it locks up your soul and converts you to a slave. It's the most awful thing you will ever see, i tell you what. And if we don't spread your people's religion across the world,
all will be lost! Remember this message! Do not let the future cleanse us of salvation and love! Prevent those Iraqi scientists from developing a replacement for Hussein!
Want to know how i evaded it's unholy treachery? It was a simple matter of glancing at a Bible that the commiebots failed to notice. when i saw it, the light of Christ was shown to me and i was restored to humanity. I knew my mission from then on out.
I swear unto the heavens, and to the great Lord of the Ancient Times, every single word of mine is true.
But i don't suppose my words mean anything, it won't be long before the commiebots notice i've went missing.
|
|
Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 10:56 AM
About time, where's my Delorean?
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 4
Join Date: Dec 2015
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 10:57 AM
Time travel is preformed by...... Uh....... Magick?
There may be a sign of hypocrisy in that XRT5600. Figures.
And i must correct you on that, this is not the present, this is the past. It is perfectly possible for people of the present (my time) to know of the past.
|
|
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 11:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistFromTheFuture
|
I've already demonstrated that Scripturally your premise is out of the question. We get hundreds of people here each day who try to chip away at our beliefs, but they all fail, much like you have...why do you hate the Little Baby Jesus?
YiC,
Zech
|
|
Unsaved trash
Under Investigation
|
|
Posts: 4
Join Date: Dec 2015
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 11:03 AM
Yeah piffle this forum, i'm goign back to /b/ where i actually get something worth a piffle.
|
|
Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 11:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistFromTheFuture
Yeah piffle this forum, i'm goign back to /b/ where i actually get something worth a piffle.
|
Don't let the door hitcha where the Good Lord splitcha!
YiC,
Zech
|
|
Guarding his purity against all comers
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 1,239
Join Date: Sep 2015
Location: OzTrailer
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 11:40 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistFromTheFuture
Yeah piffle this forum, i'm goign back to /b/ where i actually get something worth a piffle.
|
You mean where the other 12 year olds find you interesting.
Ecclesiastes 1:18 - For in much wisedome is much griefe: and hee that increaseth knowledge, increaseth sorrow.
|
|
Pastor for Diversity and Tolerance Christ's Rottweiler
|
|
Posts: 22,727
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Toiling selflessly towards Salvation
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 12:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistFromTheFuture
My name is Meecron Forthax, and i am an individual sent back from the year 2680. In the future, religion has been wiped out and all people are forced into a communistic atheist regime by a cruel robot dictator! But i KNOW that in my heart, the religion you people worship MUST be true! It will take some time for me to adjust to and learn of your beliefs, but i will do what i must. But for now, i need YOUR help in teakign down Dictatorbot-XRT5600 and reestablishing fundamentalist christianity so i can save the future!
Amen!
|
Do you know this man: http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?t=13937? He had brain damage. But he overcame those demons so there is hope for you.
|
|
Serving Jesus
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 4,470
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Godly Texas, Besieged by Papist Idol Worshippers
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 03:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistFromTheFuture
it won't be long before the commiebots notice i've went missing.
|
Evidently, there has been no improvement in the public schools.
God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11
|
|
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 05:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Alvin Moss
Evidently, there has been no improvement in the public schools.
|
Evidently another victim of Common Core - if they believe Democrats they'll believe anything. I'm curious though, did the inventor of that Dictatorbot-XRT5600 have a last name of Obama?
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
|
|
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
|
|
Posts: 64
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: God's Favorite Nation
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 06:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistFromTheFuture
Time travel is preformed by...... Uh....... Magick?
There may be a sign of hypocrisy in that XRT5600. Figures.
And i must correct you on that, this is not the present, this is the past. It is perfectly possible for people of the present (my time) to know of the past.
|
What is this babble? You said in an earlier post that you read the Bible, but I don't think you did. If you had, you would have seen what Exodus 22:18 says about witchcraft. Your lie is falling apart at the seams. Why don't you try again and tell us the truth about yourself?
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 47
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: OKLAHOMAAAA!!!
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 08:33 PM
There's some crazy atheists in the world!
|
|
South of the Border outreach program True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 13,142
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-05-2015, 09:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistFromTheFuture
Yeah piffle this forum, i'm goign back to /b/ where i actually get something worth a piffle.
|
|
|
Forum Member
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 1,330
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: In the kitchen
|
|
Re: Help me! I come from the future! -
12-06-2015, 05:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by AtheistFromTheFuture
Oh, Jesus had indeed returned. Did it in 2066. Fantastic for the world, but that godawful XRT5600 invented the dastardliest weapon of all: A Mind Erasal Device!
It forces you to change your heart and mind, it locks up your soul and converts you to a slave. It's the most awful thing you will ever see, i tell you what. And if we don't spread your people's religion across the world,
all will be lost! Remember this message! Do not let the future cleanse us of salvation and love! Prevent those Iraqi scientists from developing a replacement for Hussein!
Want to know how i evaded it's unholy treachery? It was a simple matter of glancing at a Bible that the commiebots failed to notice. when i saw it, the light of Christ was shown to me and i was restored to humanity. I knew my mission from then on out.
I swear unto the heavens, and to the great Lord of the Ancient Times, every single word of mine is true.
But i don't suppose my words mean anything, it won't be long before the commiebots notice i've went missing.
|
Young lady, are you on drugs? I believe you are my dear; it's impossible to be sent back from the future. Nor can any of us claim that Jesus will be in 2066 because Matthew 25:13 says "Watch therefore, for ye know neither the day nor the hour wherein the Son of man cometh". Do not take the Lord's name in vain, God forbids it in Exodus 20:7 "Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain."
Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson
"Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands." Proverbs 14:1
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|