[Micah Obediah Birch]

Greetings in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. I am a born again Southern white male Christian. I live in Frog Eye, Alabama. I make my livin farmin, huntin, and fishin. I attend Rocky Mount Primitive Baptist Church. I was saved in a tent revival up between Frog Eye and Boar Tush, Alabama at 8:32 PM on Friday May 15, 1987. I was baptized by full immersion under Brother Rufus Wainwright on the following Sunday.
My favorite Bible verse is:

Revelation 21:8 - But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

[I Man Rastafari]

Greetings Mr. Birch. Many members of my family are farmers in Jamaica. Some grow coffee in the Blue Mountains to sell to the white people. We don't drink Blue Mountain coffee in my garrison because it is too expensive. We drink Folgers coffee from Babylon and sell the Blue Mountain coffee to the white people. The rest of the family grows ganja and okra. We eat the okra and smoke the ganja. Sometimes we sell the ganja to white people. What kind of farmer are you?

[Micah Obediah Birch]

Grace and Peace Mr. Rastafari,

I grow mostly corn and soybeans, God willing. You have an unsual name for a black man. Most black men here are named Jamal or Mohammed. One of my pickers is named Marquarvius.

Psalm 7:11
God judgeth the righteous, and God is angry with the wicked every day.

[Alvin Moss]

Welcome then, Micah. We are Christian here and friendly. Please tell us of your walk with Jesus. We thirst for news from other Christians.

God Bless!

[Micah Obediah Birch]

Hello Mr. Moss,

Peace be unto you. When I am not tending to the crops in my John Deere or huntin or fishin, I attend Rocky Mount Primitive Baptist church every Sunday morning, Sunday night and Wednesday night. I regularly attend the Baptist Men's Bible Study, bacon, eggs and grits breakfast every Tuesday morning. Women are not allowed to attend, but can prepare the breakfast. I spend a lot of time reading my leather bound, gold leaf, red letter edition Holy 1620 KJV Thompson Chain Reference Bible, which was given to me on the day of my baptism by Brother Rufus Wainwright.

Deuteronomy 32:22

For a fire is kindled in mine anger, and shall burn unto the lowest hell, and shall consume the earth with her increase, and set on fire the foundations of the mountains.

[Back against wall]

Originally Posted by micahobediahbirch

Greetings in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ.

Greetings Birch greetings. I knew a Birch once, a piano tuner if I remember correctly. Not from your part of town though.
What a fantastic introduction from you, no complaints, just a respectful hello. I've missed that lately. Good show ol chap as they say. I am looking forward to meeting you and reading your posts in the future.

God Bless Birch, God Bless

Brother BAW

[Micah Obediah Birch]

Thank you, sir,

My daddy's great uncle, once removed, was that good Baptist and true, John Birch, who founded the John Birch Society.

Ezekiel 13:5

5 Ye have not gone up into the gaps, neither made up the hedge for the house of Israel to stand in the battle in the day of the Lord.

[Mary Etheldreda]

You have a fine pedigree, Mr. Birch! Welcome to our friendly forums!



I'm sure the men will want to know soon enough about your hunting skills, but I'm a romantic at heart. Do tell us, how many children have you blessed your wife with? Did she homeschool them all? Do you have grand children in service to the LORD?

[Micah Obediah Birch]

Blessings Miss Mary,

I have been married to the same godly woman for 25 years, Hannah Abigail. We only have sex in the missionary position for the purpose of procreation. God has blessed us with 13 children, 12 sons and 1 daughter. Their names are Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, Zebulun, Joseph, and Benjamin. The daughter is Sarah Dinah Rachel. They have all been home schooled in the fear of the Lord and the rod has not been spared.

[Nobar King]

I live in Frog Eye, Alabama. I make my livin farmin, huntin, and fishin.

your keyboard might be broken.

[Mary Etheldreda]

Originally Posted by micahobediahbirch

Blessings Miss Mary,

I have been married to the same godly woman for 25 years, Hannah Abigail. We only have sex in the missionary position for the purpose of procreation. God has blessed us with 13 children, 12 sons and 1 daughter. Their names are Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, Zebulun, Joseph, and Benjamin. The daughter is Sarah Dinah Rachel. They have all been home schooled in the fear of the Lord and the rod has not been spared.

Well Praise Jesus! More jewels for His Glorious Crown in Heaven!

[Elmer G. White]

Originally Posted by micahobediahbirch

Blessings Miss Mary,

I have been married to the same godly woman for 25 years, Hannah Abigail. We only have sex in the missionary position for the purpose of procreation. God has blessed us with 13 children, 12 sons and 1 daughter. Their names are Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, Zebulun, Joseph, and Benjamin. The daughter is Sarah Dinah Rachel. They have all been home schooled in the fear of the Lord and the rod has not been spared.

Dear Friend,

This is most impressive. Out of the war of good and evil, from repulsive marital duties and near death of each conjugal relation, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely, the production of new soldiers to Christ, directly follows. There is grandeur in this sacrifice of yours, and I can relate to that. Only one miss out of 13 is a superb achievement and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Micah 4:5
For all people will walk every one in the name of his god, and we will walk in the name of the LORD our God for ever and ever.

Welcome, Friend. You just might have found your Spiritual Home.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

[Back against wall]

Originally Posted by micahobediahbirch

Blessings Miss Mary,

I have been married to the same godly woman for 25 years, Hannah Abigail. We only have sex in the missionary position for the purpose of procreation. God has blessed us with 13 children, 12 sons and 1 daughter. Their names are Reuben, Simeon, Levi, Judah, Dan, Naphtali, Gad, Asher, Issachar, Zebulun, Joseph, and Benjamin. The daughter is Sarah Dinah Rachel. They have all been home schooled in the fear of the Lord and the rod has not been spared.

BRAVO Sir BRAVO! God will surely favor you in His favorite forum. I am in Awe of your achievement. Perhaps your daughter is of age? I recently lost my wife. I was cleared from all responsibility. Slight mishap with my new security system. Thanks to my dead wife, I can now say it's all the better. I just knew God matched her and I for a reason.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Welcome to God's favorite forum. Pease tell us more about yourself and your walk with Jesus.

How old are you? Are you an heir to the Welch's fortune? Because that's who founded the JB's.

[Youth Minister Harry]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Are you an heir to the Welch's fortune? Because that's who founded the JB's.

How intriguing. I always wondered where Mr. Welch came up with the name!

Welcome to God's Favorute Forums™, brother Micah! It sure sounds like you've got a handful down there with all those boys. I'll be around their parts in just a few months when we tour the U.S. on our Ice Cream Truck Salvation youth mission. We have the creamiest salvation strategy anywhere, and let me tell you, we are saving boys hand over fist! With God's Will and Grace, we'll meet you and your boys then!

[Micah Obediah Birch]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

Welcome to God's favorite forum. Pease tell us more about yourself and your walk with Jesus.

How old are you? Are you an heir to the Welch's fortune? Because that's who founded the JB's.

Hello Pastor Ezekiel,

Mr. Welch was fond of my daddy's great uncle, once removed, John Birch, a Baptist missionary who was killed in WWII by a bunch of dirty comunisses. Mr. Welch unfortunately is burning in hell because he backslid from the true Baptist religion and became one of those lying Unitarians. We got no inheritance from the Welch's.

I lead prayer and worship with my family every morning and pray with the chilrens before they go to bed each night. I am 41 years old. I mow the church grounds at Rocky Mount Primitive Baptist church with my John Deere and also look after the cemetery. I read my leather bound gold leaf red letter Holy 1620 KJV Thompson Chain Reference Bible as often as I can. I have read it cover to cover 63 times now.

Proverbs 23:13-14

13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.

14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

[Micah Obediah Birch]

Originally Posted by Youth Minister Harry

How intriguing. I always wondered where Mr. Welch came up with the name!

Welcome to God's Favorute Forums™, brother Micah! It sure sounds like you've got a handful down there with all those boys. I'll be around their parts in just a few months when we tour the U.S. on our Ice Cream Truck Salvation youth mission. We have the creamiest salvation strategy anywhere, and let me tell you, we are saving boys hand over fist! With God's Will and Grace, we'll meet you and your boys then!

Hello Youth Minister Harry,

Thank you sir for your kind offer, but we allow our chilrens no sugar. It leads to all sorts of ungodly sins and rots their teeth. Most of the heathern chilrens around Frog Eye here got no teeth.

Proverbs 22:6

6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

[Micah Obediah Birch]

Originally Posted by Back against wall

BRAVO Sir BRAVO! God will surely favor you in His favorite forum. I am in Awe of your achievement. Perhaps your daughter is of age? I recently lost my wife. I was cleared from all responsibility. Slight mishap with my new security system. Thanks to my dead wife, I can now say it's all the better. I just knew God matched her and I for a reason.

Hello Sir,

Dinah is 13 years old. She is already betrothed to her second cousin, Elijah Jacob Barnhouse, 23 years old. There was a nasty rumor going around Frog Eye that Dinah was pregnant but this is a lie from the pit of hell.

Numbers 16:33

33 They, and all that appertained to them, went down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them: and they perished from among the congregation.

[Micah Obediah Birch]

Originally Posted by Elmer G. White

Dear Friend,

This is most impressive. Out of the war of good and evil, from repulsive marital duties and near death of each conjugal relation, the most exalted object which we are capable of conceiving, namely, the production of new soldiers to Christ, directly follows. There is grandeur in this sacrifice of yours, and I can relate to that. Only one miss out of 13 is a superb achievement and don't let anyone tell you otherwise!

Micah 4:5
For all people will walk every one in the name of his god, and we will walk in the name of the LORD our God for ever and ever.

Welcome, Friend. You just might have found your Spiritual Home.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer

Hello Mr. White,

Are you related to the so called prophetess of the Seventh-Day Adventist cult, Ellen G. White?

Matthew 24:23-24

23 Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not.

24 For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.

[Elmer G. White]

Originally Posted by micahobediahbirch

Hello Mr. White,

Are you related to the so called prophetess of the Seventh-Day Adventist cult, Ellen G. White?

Matthew 24:23-24

23 Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not.

24 For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if it were possible, they shall deceive the very elect.

Mr. Birch,

God has been very good to me. I sometimes wonder, not dissimilar to Jonah, that He is sometimes too merciful (Jonah 4:2) when it comes to my ancestors. The tradition of harlotry and revolting unnatural genderbending (1 Timothy 2:12) initiated by a distant great-great grandmother did not stop until it had reached my mother as promised by God (Exodus 20:5). They are lost to God and they are lost to me and my feelings towards these distant or close female relatives are those that Jesus taught us (Luke 14:26). The woman whose name you mentioned may belong to the genetic line that ends with a man of God whom I usually refer to with the perpendicular pronoun but as promised, past things are painful but washed away in the blood of Christ.

Isaiah 4:4
When the Lord shall have washed away the filth of the daughters of Zion, and shall have purged the blood of Jerusalem from the midst thereof by the spirit of judgment, and by the spirit of burning.

I understand that you are new here but I would really appreciate more discretion in the future.

Yours in Christ,

Elmer