Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS!
Reload this Page The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension!
THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Open for the CHRISTmas Season only.

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Wash O'Hanley's Avatar
Wash O'Hanley Wash O'Hanley is offline
Debate Moderator (and participant)
Master Debater-- Has Never Been Defeated in a Debate
Louder Than Reason
True Christian™

True Christian™ Saved 1 Year Fairest and most balanced broadcaster Saved 5 Years Real American™ Gold Tither Publisher's Choice TC Bravery Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Persecuted Pro-Life True Republican

 
Posts: 2,139
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wash O'Hanley will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-23-2006, 08:57 PM

Folks, I took the family recently to see "The Nativity Story" thinking that no Jewish plot to ruin America and Christianity could have made its way into the celuloid reels of a motion picture version of the birth of our Lord and Savior. I thought the "film" would be nothing more than a live-action version of the nativities that we always see in front of churches, people's homes and (rightfully so) on government or city property where people of all faiths can enjoy it and reflect on how amazing Christmas is (Jews celebrate Christmas, right?).

With all that said, I enjoyed the movie, but there wasn't a lot to say about it... it was pretty much just a well done version of every church Christmas play I've ever seen. What really cheesed me off was as I was about to give the film a 10/10 rating on imbd.com I noticed on the message boards for the film, the discussion was dominated by talks to the lead actress, 16 year old Kiesha Castle-Hughes, being pregnant. Of course I thought this was all just further discussion about the film's content and thought nothing of it as I opened the topic to continue reading and possibly give some insight, seeing as how I am Freehold's most respected pundit.

It was to my horror, as I began reading, that the discussion was not about the Virgin Mary (played by Kiesha Castle-Hughes) being pregnant, but in fact, the 16 year old actress herself!

I vomited with rage onto my keyboard and monitor (and then got a sponge to clean it up). It turns out the young actress and her 19 year old boyfriend "got jiggy wit it" (as the teens would say) and created their own messiah. Of course, this child is not of God, but of Lucifer him self’s bloodline! To say the least, I changed my grade of the movie from a good one to a bad one in light of these new developments. Changed all my posts on the forums about how this was the "best movie since The Passion" to "the worst movie since White Chicks" and even went so far as to scrub my children's eyes with rubbing alcohol (I don't know what good that did, but I enjoyed doing it).

Additionally, I sent a nasty letter to New Line Cinema about how I would never pay to see another movie again. This of course is a huge blow to them and their income because as a Christian I pay to see in the theaters and on video a combined 1.5 movies per year annually (rounded up). If these smut peddlers think they can cast Queen of the Whores, Kiesha Castle-Hughes in a film about the birth of Jesus then they have another thing coming. Why don't they just cast Paris Hilton in a role too? In fact they should of, she might have classed the whole operation up a little in the face of such overwhelming debauchery that was resonating from the void between Ms. (and I use the term lightly) Hughes' legs!

Folks, this whole having children out of wedlock fad has no place in Christmas. Kiesha Castle-Hughes, wandering around in the desert with a bastard child in her belly during the Christmas season while the father is no where to be seen reminds me of someone... who is it?? Oh well, I can't remember, but I assure you that the person I am thinking of was a whore. I'm just so sick and tired of these Liberal conspiracies to destroy marriage and Christmas rearing their ugly heads during this most holy of holidays. Now if you'll excuse me, the kids and I were making a clean, family-friendly nativity scene in our living room from old wooden figures that have been in the family for years. I believe the last one we had to put out was the Virgin Mary.
(#2)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 12:07 AM

Okay, with all this yakkey-yakkey blah-blah hooey.

WHAT ABOUT A SNAIL AS SAVIOUR?! YOU EVER ONCE STOPPED TO CONSIDER THAT, MR. BIG GUY???

Really. With all this controversy going around, could this Man be truly a Christain?
(#3)
Old
tommy's Avatar
tommy tommy is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 392
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: close to Jesusland
tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 12:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
Okay, with all this yakkey-yakkey blah-blah hooey.

WHAT ABOUT A SNAIL AS SAVIOUR?! YOU EVER ONCE STOPPED TO CONSIDER THAT, MR. BIG GUY???
Yes, yes, I can see it: Jesus, a snail's tale.


The Lord is a man of war: the Lord is his name.
Exodus 15:3

(#4)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 12:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tommy View Post
Yes, yes, I can see it: Jesus, a snail's tale.
Snails don't have tails.....just trails. Happy trails to you!


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


(#5)
Old
tommy's Avatar
tommy tommy is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 392
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: close to Jesusland
tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 12:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Snails don't have tails.....just trails. Happy trails to you!
I thought tale is a story...

Jesus was a man and God, I am fully aware of that.


The Lord is a man of war: the Lord is his name.
Exodus 15:3

(#6)
Old
SUV's Avatar
SUV SUV is offline
True Christian™ Princess
The Driving Force behind RA12
Have at it, anytime!

Long service medal, 1st class One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year Ribfest '08 True Christian™ Saved 5 Years Saved 10 Years Best Pie True Christian Lady Real American™ Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Christian Love Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork True Republican Princess

 
Posts: 11,024
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: At the Gift Exchange Counter
SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!SUV will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 12:41 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tommy View Post
I thought tale is a story...

Jesus was a man and God, I am fully aware of that.
Oh, I just Love this excedingly cute beagle, Pastor!

Please! Might I take him for a walk Right now?!!!!
(#7)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 12:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
Oh, I just Love this excedingly cute beagle, Pastor!

Please! Might I take him for a walk Right now?!!!!
As long as you don't let him lick you in the mouth.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


(#8)
Old
lilith's Avatar
lilith lilith is offline
Night Hag
Forum Member

Uppity Woman/Enabler TC Bravery

 
Posts: 1,231
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Enzed
lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 01:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by tommy View Post
Yes, yes, I can see it: Jesus, a snail's tale.


That's got such a nice ring to it....Jesus & the Twelve Snail Shells.

The Ten Snailments.

Away in a Snail Shell.

The virgin Snailshell.

The Burning Snail Shell.

The Magdalene Shell.

Psalmshells.


In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
(#9)
Old
lilith's Avatar
lilith lilith is offline
Night Hag
Forum Member

Uppity Woman/Enabler TC Bravery

 
Posts: 1,231
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Enzed
lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 01:16 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wash O'Hanley View Post
Folks, I took the family recently to see "The Nativity Story" ......

*Shortened quote /PD*


Oh stop whining - you LIKE Turkey at Xmas,dontcha?


In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

Last edited by Pastor Rune Enoe; 12-26-2006 at 11:28 PM. Reason: Shortened quote /PD
(#10)
Old
Brother Love's Avatar
Brother Love Brother Love is offline
Yes, THAT Brother Love!
True Christian™
 
Posts: 403
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Wherever Jesus Needs to Save Souls!!
Brother Love has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Love has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Love has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Love has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Love has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Love has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Love has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Love has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Love has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Love has bribed people to get these reputation points.Brother Love has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 01:48 AM

I is 100% in agreement with ya Brother Wash and I WON'T be goin' to see that ABOMINATION of a movie anytime soon!


Evangelist for Jesus and The Word!!

"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." Matthew 7:15


"Prayer should be your first resource. Not your last resort!!"
(#11)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 01:59 AM

You know, this puts me of a mind to a story I heard Pastor Deacon Fred tell the congregation a couple of years ago...

Quote:
"An unmarried teenager who found herself in the family way last week told her parents that she had never known a boy sexually. Instead, she blamed the pregnancy on a ghost. She was immediately slapped senseless by her annoyed parents and sent to Pastor, who threw her out of the church. "The whole idea of a spirit diddling with a young girl is such a preposterous, lewd proposition," said Pastor Deacon Fred. "Frankly, I don't know where this little scallywag got the idea for such an outrageous, bald-faced lie."
Praise Jesus!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
(#12)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 02:01 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilith View Post
That's got such a nice ring to it....Jesus & the Twelve Snail Shells.

The Ten Snailments.

Away in a Snail Shell.

The virgin Snailshell.

The Burning Snail Shell.

The Magdalene Shell.

Psalmshells.
I am surprised that you didn't shuffle yourself straight into HELL by suggesting that we read the (Heretical) gospel of Judas Escargot.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


(#13)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 02:06 AM

OMG! You mean instead of following the teachings of JESUS all these thousands of years, we have been following a snail trail?

instead of spread the Love. we should be spreading the goo?

Confused, Sister Thumper




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
(#14)
Old
Arethusa's Avatar
Arethusa Arethusa is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™
 
Posts: 282
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Effete Canada
Arethusa has bribed people to get these reputation points.Arethusa has bribed people to get these reputation points.Arethusa has bribed people to get these reputation points.Arethusa has bribed people to get these reputation points.Arethusa has bribed people to get these reputation points.Arethusa has bribed people to get these reputation points.Arethusa has bribed people to get these reputation points.Arethusa has bribed people to get these reputation points.Arethusa has bribed people to get these reputation points.Arethusa has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 05:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
You know, this puts me of a mind to a story I heard Pastor Deacon Fred tell the congregation a couple of years ago...



Praise Jesus!
Oh, oh I remember that one. My friends and I had a great laugh over that one.

Brother Wash I could tell from the trailer that so-called "Virgin Mary" in that movie was not only a fornicator but clearly on drugs--her facial muscles seemed unnaturally stiff throughout the whole thing and set the tone for the entire boring cinematic Christmas Pageant.

I'm surprised you went to see it though, since the skin colour of Mary and Joseph clearly indicate that poor little Jesus wouldn't be the blue-eyed, blonde hair long haired beauty we all admire.


Tir'd, and despairing, O celestial maid,
I'm caught, I cry'd, without thy heav'nly aid.
Help me, Diana, help a nymph forlorn,
Devoted to the woods, who long has worn
Thy livery, and long thy quiver born.
- Ovid
(#15)
Old
lilith's Avatar
lilith lilith is offline
Night Hag
Forum Member

Uppity Woman/Enabler TC Bravery

 
Posts: 1,231
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Enzed
lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.lilith is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 07:30 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
I am surprised that you didn't shuffle yourself straight into HELL by suggesting that we read the (Heretical) gospel of Judas Escargot.
Ten points Al!

(I had to draw the line somewhere)


In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
(#16)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 10:32 PM

GLORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been SLIMED by JESUS and Bathed in HIS love!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Eve JESUS!!!!!




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
(#17)
Old
Pastor Al E Pistle's Avatar
Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
 
 
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
Pastor Al E Pistle has disabled reputation
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 10:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by BibleThumpinBlonde View Post
GLORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I've been SLIMED by JESUS and Bathed in HIS love!!!!!!

Happy Birthday Eve JESUS!!!!!
Wipe your chin sister.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


(#18)
Old
Bobby-Joe's Avatar
Bobby-Joe Bobby-Joe is offline
Landover Security Superviser
Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert
NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Long service medal, 2nd class Saved 1 Year Saved 5 Years True Heterosexual™ True Christian Provider™ award 2008 Witch Hunt Award Real American™ Ex-Mary Worshipper The Lord’s Witness Wound Tagging for Jesus Heaven Bound TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers Ex-Masturbator True Christian Justice of the Peace Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Home Schooled Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth Super Soaker Baptism Award Tell her once Silver Tither Gunfest '07 Christian Love Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Las Vegas Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Prayer Warrior

 
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Bobby-Joe will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-24-2006, 11:03 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by lilith View Post
Oh stop whining - you LIKE Turkey at Xmas,dontcha?
Listen you over seas harlot turky is eaten at Thanksgiving! A Christian holiday when we celibrate killing the heathen American Indians. Ham is for Christmas dinner.



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

Hot Must ReadThreads!


Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
(#19)
Old
tommy's Avatar
tommy tommy is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member
 
Posts: 392
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: close to Jesusland
tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.tommy has bribed people to get these reputation points.
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-26-2006, 07:48 PM

Christmas story time.


The Lord is a man of war: the Lord is his name.
Exodus 15:3

(#20)
Old
Daisy Mae Johnson's Avatar
Daisy Mae Johnson Daisy Mae Johnson is offline
The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™

Best Pie One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year True Christian™ Christian Love Best Pie Long service medal, 2nd class Cleanest Kitchen Saved 5 Years Platinum Tither True Christian Lady Best Pie True Christian Homemaker Real American™ Mother of 1 boy or 2.5 girls The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Ribfest '09 Daisy Home Schooled Best stoning bucket Heaven Bound The Lord’s Witness Wound Protected by JESUS Punched the most queers TC Bravery Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient Born again virgin Persecuted Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Sons of Liberty Batman Shooting Survivor In Love With Zeke Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! Proud Niglet Sponsorer Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Paula Deen Negro Support Group Touched by Jesus Babysitter Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Pie Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Anti-sodomy Mission to Messico Hands Off Long service medal, 3rd class 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Mama Grizzly Pastor Ezekiel Aardvark Crown of Rejoicing BFF of Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Daisy Mae Johnson will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: The Nativity Story- beyond comprehension! - 12-26-2006, 11:07 PM

TOMMY!!!

Did YOU do THAT on the floor?

Dragging you fanny across the floor is NOT leaving "trail" marks.

C'mere Boy, Sit...Stay....

Aw, good boy.




Tweet me Here
My GODLY Bio Here
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved