[eliot mayfield]

This is not for women or children!!!!!!!
This is an example of the stuff I have to put up with!


Sometimes even I am shocked. I received this e-mail. Be warned this contains shocking language and is not for the ladies to see. Nor should the youngsters view this.

Dear xian,
What’s wrong you asshole Christers? You suck. I wish I knew where you lived so me and my Goth buddies could come over and make you eat dog shit! There is no God!!!!!!!
Dumbasses! Dickshit! You think your shit don’t stink? It does!

If there is a God, he’s an evil son of a bitch! A real dog cock sucker! My parents were Baptists. They were fundies of the worst sort. They wouldn’t let me watch tv and made me read the Bible every night! They homeschooled me until I got the ACLU on their asses and made them let me go to public school. My sister swallowed that bullshit too. They were all faithfull to the utmost. You know what believing in God got them? Huh? Do you? I’ll tell you what you fundie pud thumper!

My mother died a slow horrible death of cancer! She believed God was her doctor and refused medicine and only slept when she was exhausted from screaming from the pain long enough to sleep for a few minutes. Some God, huh? You should have seen her.

My sister? Yes, God really helped her. She was standing on the street corner “witnessing:” to the people in town. Some guys in a white van grabbed her and gang raped her! They ****ed her to death using coke bottles and a donkey!

My dad? He got his allright. It was almost justice. It’s his fault. He made us be baptists. He lost all his money when Enron collapsed. He had to come out of retirement and do odd jobs. He was painting this old ladies house when he hit a big hornets nest. He fell off the ladder and broke his legs. He couldn’t run away and the hornets stung him to death. They were even in his lugs! God must have really loved him, huh you stupid bastard!

Last night My girl friend masturbated with a cross, then I shot a wad on it, and we killed a dog with that and I ****ed its brains!

Guess what, I’m still alive! I don’t have cancer! God is bullshit, asshole!
Jerkface,
Yours sincrely
Vlad


Wow! I was in shock! What a sinner. What a stupid person. After I vomited several times and finished crying, I composed my reply. I was furious at the time so I may have used some harsh language, but not using the Lord’s name in vain I don’t believe I sinned.

Mr. Vlad,
In the first place I don’t know what a xian is. I don’t read comic books or watch science fiction films. (by the way, all science is fiction) God could come right to you in person and spit on your worthless soul and you'd still deny his love. He is trying to show you he is real! You killed your family! It's your fault you worthless stupid jerk! I’d like to take a jawbone of an ass to your head!

God had to show you he’s real by taking your family. Did you pray to God to save your mother? No, you didn’t. You killed her. How can you look in the mirror? After showing you what happens to sinners by using your good God fearing mother, he took your sister. Did that make you repent and accept Jesus into your life? No? You raped your sister too. Still you didn’t see the lesson. That’s what public schools do to people!

Then your poor father. He had tried and tried to make you see the light. He must have loved you as much as God does! But no, your sins killed him too! But as the hornets stung him he knew he was going to heaven. Your mother and sister in their death throes knew in their hearts they were going to heaven too! They suffered but a little for God, They knew they were instruments of God’s love to save you from Satan! Now they are in paradise. But do you think they are happy? Not yet. Your soul still hangs in the balance. There is still a chance you can be saved. Satan may not get your soul. There is one last chance for you to make your family happy. Don’t end up in Hell! Give yourself to Christ and join them. Be the Prodigal’s son! Come back! Your father has shown the patience of Job and continues to do so!

But remember this. While you are alive they will care for you, but when you are burning in hell with the worms eating your flesh, they will laugh at you. If there is one ounce of compassion in your Goth soul, come to us at Landover so we can show you the light!

Your soldier for Christ,
Eliot Mayfield

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Brother Eliot, you are a shining example of True Christian™ wisdom, and an excellent role model for us all. How kind you are to share your God-given insights with unsaved scum such as Mr. Vlad. Let's hope that Jesus guides him deeper into His blood. Either that or kills him quickly and sends him to eternal damnation where he belongs. GLORY!!

[eliot mayfield]

Goths are the greatest threat to civilization since the Huns!

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Originally Posted by eliot mayfield

Goths are the greatest threat to civilization since the Huns!

This person is not a goth. Read the letter more closely. He is clearly the descendant of Vlad The Impaler, better known as Count Dracula.

[see_the_light]

Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle

This person is not a goth. Read the letter more closely. He is clearly the descendant of Vlad The Impaler, better known as Count Dracula.

I find it hard to believe.

Prince Vlad (the real one) was a stern but CHRISTIAN ruler who massacred mudslum turkys and tried teaching his unruly and gipsyesque people some manners.

Let us see some episodes...

He impaled a woman who had let her husband leave the house with clothes missing buttons SHE SHOULD HAVE FIXED.

He invited POORS to a banquet and when they where praising THE LORD he closed the doors and burned the room giving them a chance to be saved instead of slowly rotting and damning themselves through insults to THE LORD.

When an Homer complained of the (I quote) stink of impalled heathens, he impalled him in a longr one and asked if the air was purer high up.

A muslime refused to respect christianity by removing his hat before him, he nailled it to his head.


Those cat-a-licks tried pinning the vampire story on him because of his manly attitudes.

Seeing those so-called vampire-goths we can all see DRACULA was a sissy dressed in satin makeup addict drag queen.

PRAISE THE LORD!

[SalvationSeeker]

Your determination despite all of this is admirable, brother Eliot.
The Lord will reward you when He destroys the world, and throws all the heathens in hell.
Praise Jesus!

As for some parts of this story of Godly wrath shown in plain sight:

Originally Posted by eliot mayfield

My sister? Yes, God really helped her. She was standing on the street corner “witnessing:” to the people in town. Some guys in a white van grabbed her and gang raped her! They ****ed her to death using coke bottles and a donkey!

This part brings the story of Lot and his daughters to my mind.
If these men wouldn't have raped his sister, they would probably have raped a man instead!
And the Bible teaches us that such acts are worse..
Lot offered his own two daughters to spare two strangers, simply because they were men, and his daughters were (obviously) not.

And they called unto Lot, and said unto him,
Where are the men which came in to thee this night? Bring them out unto us, that we may know them.
And Lot went out at the door unto them, and shut the door after him,
And said, I pray you, brethren, do not act so wickedly.
Behold now, I have two daughters which have not known man;
Let me, I pray you, bring them out unto you, and do ye to them as is good in your eyes:
Only unto these men do nothing; for therefore came they under the shadow of my roof.
Genesis 19:5-8

God in his mercy, has spared a man from being defiled, at the cheap price of a mere woman (Vlad's sister)
The Lord works in mysterious, yet very logical ways, IF you have the wisdom to understand them.
Vlad should try to learn the Bible (KJV1611) to gain that wisdom, and then he will see that all of these things happened for a reason.
God has a plan for the world, and everyone is part of it, whatever they want to be a part or not.

The homer better repent so he doesn't end up in the army of the antichrist, getting hacked into pieces by the terrible swift sword coming out of Jesus mouth!

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Originally Posted by see_the_light

Those cat-a-licks tried pinning the vampire story on him because of his manly attitudes.

Seeing those so-called vampire-goths we can all see DRACULA was a sissy dressed in satin makeup addict drag queen.

PRAISE THE LORD!

You do know that Vladimir Tepes (Vlad the Impailer) drank the blood of his victims from a chalice? You also know that his Romanian surname was Draculea, he was later known as Vlad Tepes (meaning impailer) due to his sadist actions.

There was a time when Vlad was ruler of Romania until his reign was ended and a warrant for his death was released. Eventually though he became Prince. he began his tyranny by eliminating any possible threats to his place of power, anyone who might rival him was soon assassinated.

In fact Vlad Tepes owned a castle in Transylvania later giving birth to Bram Stocker's Dracula.

So, urm I don't think that he was in anyway a good man. He was most likely of gypsy heritage being from Romania and all. *shrugs*

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Dameon_ACLUtard

In fact Vlad Tepes owned a castle in Transylvania later giving birth to Bram Stocker's Dracula.

See the sort of ludicrous slanders that people try and pin on Christians? Son, Vlad was one of the very few decent Christian men in the entire history of Eastern Europe, and I find your idea that he gave birth to anyone, let alone a real character, highly dubious.

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

*sighs* By give birth I meant that the character of Dracula was based loosely on the actions of Vlad Draculae... notice the similarity in the names?

He did own a castle in Transylvania and if you choose to ignore that peice of history you may aswell not believe the man existed. If you want to see him as a great christian then who am I to stop you? I'm just trying to shed a little light that's all. Just letting you all know that he was a sadist, he enjoyed causing others pain for the satisfaction it gave him. Is that christian? If it is then I'm glad I'm not one of you.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Dameon_ACLUtard

He did own a castle in Transylvania and if you choose to ignore that peice of history you may aswell not believe the man existed. If you want to see him as a great christian then who am I to stop you? I'm just trying to shed a little light that's all. Just letting you all know that he was a sadist, he enjoyed causing others pain for the satisfaction it gave him. Is that christian? If it is then I'm glad I'm not one of you.

No, I do not choose to dispute the fact that Vlad Dracul owned a castle. And if he enjoyed the suffering of others, then he was only following GOD's example:
Proverbs 1:24 Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded;
25 But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:
26I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your fear cometh; 27 When your fear cometh as desolation, and your destruction cometh as a whirlwind; when distress and anguish cometh upon you.

That's GOD speaking there. Pretty "groovy", eh, goth boy?

[Dameon_ACLUtard]

Nobody says groovy anymore old man.

[see_the_light]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

See the sort of ludicrous slanders that people try and pin on Christians? Son, Vlad was one of the very few decent Christian men in the entire history of Eastern Europe, and I find your idea that he gave birth to anyone, let alone a real character, highly dubious.

Brother, it is good to see my judgment on Vlad was FAIR, I had mentioned

"Prince Vlad (the real one) was a stern but CHRISTIAN ruler who massacred mudslum turkys and tried teaching his unruly and gipsyesque people some manners."

And now that I see that a member of good standing of the CHURCH has the same impression I can stop feeling afraid of having missed any critical information about his character.

PRAISE THE LORD!

[Brother Love]

Brother Eliot you is a TRUE SOLDIER for the LORD!! Praise God!! Your REWARD in Heaven will be great!! Thank you JeSuS!!

This Vlad fella is your typical goth/vampire PSYCHO HEATHEN!! He's nothin' 'cept one of Satan's DEMONS in human form! He whines in his letter to ya like a BALLING WENCH!! Typically, like the SINNERS always do, he blames God Almighty for all the misfortune in his life BUT he does not accept any responsibilities himself for his own SINFUL life. THE question is NOT what is wrong with us at LBC. The REAL question is what is wrong with HIM? Did he miss his daily psychiatrist medications or what? Is this poor soul even on any medications at all or has he jist been left to his own feeble devices to fend for his SINNIN' self? Who knows and frankly WHO CARES! I has lost mine patience with some of these HEATHEN and I be ready to put up a pole with some kindling under it and light up the first SINNER who happens to come along my ways! BUT, I is prayin' that the LORD JESUS will give me more patience!

Now, Brother Eliot, you answer to this LOST FOOL was directly from the HOLY SPIRIT and of that I is sure. Praise JESUS! Amen?

Keep up the good work for the LORD and I pray for you as you have to deal with LOST SINNERS trash like that Vlad fella.

[see_the_light]

Originally Posted by Brother Love

Brother Eliot you is a TRUE SOLDIER for the LORD!! Praise God!! Your REWARD in Heaven will be great!! Thank you JeSuS!!

This Vlad fella is your typical goth/vampire PSYCHO HEATHEN!! He's nothin' 'cept one of Satan's DEMONS in human form! He whines in his letter to ya like a BALLING WENCH!! Typically, like the SINNERS always do, he blames God Almighty for all the misfortune in his life BUT he does not accept any responsibilities himself for his own SINFUL life. THE question is NOT what is wrong with us at LBC. The REAL question is what is wrong with HIM? Did he miss his daily psychiatrist medications or what? Is this poor soul even on any medications at all or has he jist been left to his own feeble devices to fend for his SINNIN' self? Who knows and frankly WHO CARES! I has lost mine patience with some of these HEATHEN and I be ready to put up a pole with some kindling under it and light up the first SINNER who happens to come along my ways! BUT, I is prayin' that the LORD JESUS will give me more patience!

Now, Brother Eliot, you answer to this LOST FOOL was directly from the HOLY SPIRIT and of that I is sure. Praise JESUS! Amen?

Keep up the good work for the LORD and I pray for you as you have to deal with LOST SINNERS trash like that Vlad fella.

Each of us is given a CROSS befitting the STRENGH and GRACE we have received from OUR LORD.

Brother Eliot is truly blessed to be tested in such a way...

PRAISE THE LORD