Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Church Forums > THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS!
Reload this Page False Christian Vicar Tells God's Truth!
THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS! Open for the CHRISTmas Season only.

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#1)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default False Christian Vicar Tells God's Truth! - 12-22-2006, 01:08 PM

Miracles do happen. THIS unsaved vicar in the U.K. was moved by the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth about that tool of satan (santa claus). Unfortunately he was almost immediately repossessed by satan, and renigged, confusing all present.

Quote:
Kids' tears over vicar's Santa message

CHILDREN left a school Christmas assembly in tears after claiming a vicar said Father Christmas does not exist.

Teachers at St George's C of E Primary in Mossley told the Rev Martin Dowland he had upset children after reading `Why Jesus Is Better Than Santa Claus'.

It was during the reading with colleague the Rev Richard Lindsay, of St George's Church, that Mr Dowland is reported to have said: "You all should know by now that he (Santa Claus) is not real." Parents said they were stunned. And Mr Dowland, of St Mary's Church, Haughton Green, said a teacher made him aware some children were upset, but denied he actually said Santa was not real.

Mr Dowland has now issued an apology and said he is `deeply sorry' if he has spoiled Christmas for the children. The reading by the vicar included the lines `Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly ... Jesus has a heart full of love'.

He also made reference to Santa coming down the chimney and entering their home uninvited. One 10-year-old girl who was at the assembly said: "I don't think it's very good that someone tells young children Santa Claus isn't real - and it's not very nice."

Her mother said: "Santa Claus is part of the magic of Christmas.

The mother of a 10-year-old boy said: "My son came out and he asked me should he believe or not. I didn't know what to say. They are only kids and they are making them grow up too fast."

Mr Dowland denied saying Santa Claus is not real, but when asked what he did say, he refused to comment. He issued a statement which said his intention was to present a comparison between Santa Claus and Jesus.

He added: "Its purpose was to show that Jesus is superior to Santa Claus, not to tell them that Santa Claus does not exist. If I did not take seriously that many children believe in Santa Claus, there would be no need to compare him with Jesus.

"If I offended any children, teachers or parents by what I said, or have in any way spoiled their Christmas, then I am deeply sorry. That was certainly not my intention.

"I apologise unreservedly, and add my very best wishes for a happy Christmas - in the hope both Santa Claus and Jesus bring them all they could wish for."
Jesus will reserve a special place in hell for that filthy lieing vicar.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
(#2)
Old
SalvationSeeker's Avatar
SalvationSeeker SalvationSeeker is offline
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
 
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
SalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureSalvationSeeker has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: False Christian Vicar Tells God's Truth! - 12-22-2006, 01:25 PM

What a mormonic wolf in sheeps clothing.
Santa is a tool of satan which he uses to learn little children that it's "totally ok" to sit in the lap of strange men wishing for "hard presents"!

Jesus pukes!


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
(#3)
Old
OnYourKnees's Avatar
OnYourKnees OnYourKnees is offline
On Extended Furlough
True Christian™
 
Posts: 4,784
Join Date: Nov 2006
OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.OnYourKnees is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: False Christian Vicar Tells God's Truth! - 12-23-2006, 12:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Miracles do happen. THIS unsaved vicar in the U.K. was moved by the Holy Spirit to reveal the truth about that tool of satan (santa claus).
Pastor, I'm confused. Let me see if I have this correct:

All the children mentioned in this story were ten years old. That puts them in the fifth grade.

These fifth grade children, who all have taken reading, mathematics as far as multiplication and division, and some introductory physics, all believe that a fat man watches every child's every move 24 hours a day, taking note of their good and bad behavior, keeping a list and (due to senility, I presume, or failure to upgrade his computer system) checking it twice.

Beyond this bizarre, incredibly perverse voyeuristic behavior, this fat man hops onto a FLYING SLEIGH, pulled by 'magical' reindeer, and flies all around the world in one night -- eating individual plates of cookies and glasses of milk as he goes, no wonder he's a LARDbutt -- rewarding ALL the children of the world by sliding down their very narrow chimneys (a physical impossibility) and dropping off toys.

Tell me, was this a school for retarded children?

How can they not see that only God -- or a god-like creature with a name very similar to Santa -- could accomplish all this? Doubtless, with the help of thousands of demons? Yet they cry?

What is this "magic of Christmas" the lying parents talk about? Enchantments? Like the tricks Pharaoh's court magicians did when playing Dueling Wizards with Moses (they got their behinds handed to them on a silver platter)? Do bad kids get a stocking full of locusts nowadays?!

I'm all confuzzled, Pastor. Help!
(#4)
Old
Pastor Ezekiel's Avatar
Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: False Christian Vicar Tells God's Truth! - 12-24-2006, 03:14 PM

Makes you proud to be a True Christian™, doesn't it? I thank Jesus every day that I am free of all ridiculous superstition.

The unsaved scum over there in England is in one mell of a hess, Brother OYK.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved