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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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marquella marquella is offline
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Default Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 03:21 AM

My name is Marquella. I live in Wisconsin and worship every day at the FSM Church. Yes, I'm a Pastafarian and hope to be accepted by all. I'm a middle-aged full time student and I believe that no soul shall be left unsaved. Hail all that shall enter here, for none shall leave without their soul being spent in eternal salvation!! All Words here are the Word of God, for He would never allow anyone to utter Words that were Untrue.


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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 03:23 AM

We do not accept cultists. Would you like to hear about my best friend, Jesus?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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marquella marquella is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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marquella is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 03:27 AM

I'm not familiar with your friend, Jesus. Is he a janitor at the mall? I know I saw a guy there with Jesus as his name on his uniform. It may not be the same one, could you please enlighten me?

Thanks,
Mar


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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 03:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by marquella View Post
I'm not familiar with your friend, Jesus. Is he a janitor at the mall? I know I saw a guy there with Jesus as his name on his uniform. It may not be the same one, could you please enlighten me?

Thanks,
Mar
No, our Jesus sends you to eternal damnation in a firey pit to be tortured and punished forever and ever as an expression of His love, then laughs at you from Heaven where He lives.

He also hates being mocked.

Quote:
Jude 1:17 But, beloved, remember ye the words which were spoken before of the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ;
1:18 How that they told you there should be mockers in the last time, who should walk after their own ungodly lusts.
1:19 These be they who separate themselves, sensual, having not the Spirit.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Wide-Open Wide-Open is offline
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Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 03:44 AM

I've searched my telephone directory, and I can't seem to find the FSM Church you are speaking of. Are you sure you didn't just make that up?

Psalm 40:4
Blessed is that man that maketh the LORD his trust, and respecteth not the proud, nor such as turn aside to lies.


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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marquella marquella is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2007
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marquella is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 03:44 AM

Wow, that seems quite extreme to the Jesus I met at the mall. He just wanted to clean everything and make it shiny and new. I'm a little freaked out of your Jesus, doesn't sound like a clean freak to me. Who cleans up all this mess after he rips you from this earth? Sounds absolutely muddled and unGodly to me. I thought cleanliness was next to Godliness? Am I mistaken?


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marquella marquella is offline
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marquella is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 03:48 AM

I'm willing enough to accept that I could be wrong.

Thank you for your attention and assistance on my spiritual journey to truth.

Mar


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marquella marquella is offline
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Posts: 8
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Hellwaukee, WI
marquella is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 04:04 AM

I doubt you'd find it in your phone book, it's an Asian Christian group. It stands for the Fountain of Sinai Mountaineers. Moses led us to the truth and from there, we were all separated. I seek the one and only real truth that Moses sought.


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Wide-Open Wide-Open is offline
Director of European Evangelical Outreach
A Shining Example of Christ's Love
Quite possibly the only decent, heterosexual human being in the whole of Europe
True Christian™

One Year/1000 posts Saved 1 Year 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College True Christian™ Real American™ Christian Love Tithing Manager Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus TC Bravery Mission to Australia Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Super Soaker Baptism Award True Christian Nerd True Christian Hotrodder Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Senior Pastor Teabag Patriot Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Republican Ex-eurotrash Touched by Jesus Saved 10 Years

 
Posts: 18,677
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: A frictional country
Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Wide-Open will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 04:16 AM

Friend, are you saying Ornamentals don't use phones? That's borderline racist isn't it?

Anyway, standing near a mountain would bring you Salvation®. You better get right with Baby Jesus before he prevents you from seeing your next birthday greeting cards!

Proverbs 26:6
He that sendeth a message by the hand of a fool cutteth off the feet, and drinketh damage.


Psalm 81:10:
I am the LORD thy God, which brought thee out of the land of Egypt:
open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.
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Shinigami Shinigami is offline
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Default Re: Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 04:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by marquella View Post
I doubt you'd find it in your phone book, it's an Asian Christian group. It stands for the Fountain of Sinai Mountaineers. Moses led us to the truth and from there, we were all separated. I seek the one and only real truth that Moses sought.
I believe that if there is no landline perhaps you can ask around for a cell number? Somthing like that is at the very least possible in a situation like this. I can't imagine a buisness not having a phone. Other than that...you take care of yourself and don't make any trouble around here.

God Bless!
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marquella marquella is offline
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marquella is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 04:25 AM

Last time I had to call them it was *666, not sure if that number is still active or not, I haven't needed to call them through a landline in some quite some time.

Bless You in Eternal Light,
Mar


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Shinigami Shinigami is offline
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Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.Shinigami has got mom and a couple of family members to click the rep button.
Default Re: Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 04:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by marquella View Post
Last time I had to call them it was *666, not sure if that number is still active or not, I haven't needed to call them through a landline in some quite some time.

Bless You in Eternal Light,
Mar
Your quote at the end of your post bothers me a bit. I have no idea what this "eternal light" is that you speak of. In the KJV1611 we have this quote:
4In him was life; and the life was the light of men.
This is referring of course to Jesus Christ and not some vague light! I think you might be talking about somthing occultic and wrong! Your signiture is a lie and God is not going to allow a unrepenetent liar in his kingdom. You should repent of your deception now.
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marquella marquella is offline
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marquella is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: Greetings Believers!! - 04-24-2009, 04:37 AM

It's from this bible verse that I have come to believe in eternal light and hope that all shall partake...

John 12
12:46
I am come a light into the world, that whosoever believeth on me should not abide in darkness.

Eternal lightness so that ye shall never endure darkeness if you believe.


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