[Malachai Cone]

I've just returned from my Bible study session where one of my fellow Christians recommended I visit this wonderful site! Glad to be apart of this great community where I'm surrounded by like-minded and God-loving individuals.

[VictoryOS]

Welcome aboard, Mr. Cone! It is always a joy to meet others who have been bathed in The Blood.

Tell us more about yourself. How long have you been baptized? Where do you attend church? What is your favorite Bible verse? Are you married or engaged to be married?

I'm sure you'll find your time here to be pleasurable and joyful.

[Malachai Cone]

I was baptized at birth but I would say my true Christening took place two years ago when some drunk Pagan crack dealer ran a red light and blind-sided my car. At this sad point in my life I was only going to church on Sundays. When they pulled my bloody corpse from the wreckage my heart had stopped beating, but Jesus Christ Almighty saved me.

I attend church in the suburbs of Washington DC. My favorite Bible verse is Romans 13, although I do like the book of Ecclesiastes as a whole. I'm not married or engaged as the majority of women these days have lain with Satan and allowed his "serpent" to soil their loins.

Thank you for the warm welcome.

[Nobar King]

Baptized at birth?? Are you a Catholic?

[Malachai Cone]

Sorry, I didn't mean literally at birth. I was an infant, a year old at the most.

[JennyD]

Originally Posted by Malachai Cone

Sorry, I didn't mean literally at birth. I was an infant, a year old at the most.

Same difference, you were given a false baptism when you could not comprehend the Word of God.

That is worse than no baptism at all!

Why haven't you been baptized as an adult?

And why do you think that Romans 13 is a verse? It's an entire chapter. A good chapter, mind you, exhorting us to obey our rulers, for they are appointed by God:

Romans 13

1Let every soul be subject unto the higher powers. For there is no power but of God: the powers that be are ordained of God.

2Whosoever therefore resisteth the power, resisteth the ordinance of God: and they that resist shall receive to themselves damnation.

3For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to the evil. Wilt thou then not be afraid of the power? do that which is good, and thou shalt have praise of the same:

4For he is the minister of God to thee for good. But if thou do that which is evil, be afraid; for he beareth not the sword in vain: for he is the minister of God, a revenger to execute wrath upon him that doeth evil.


5Wherefore ye must needs be subject, not only for wrath, but also for conscience sake.


6For for this cause pay ye tribute also: for they are God's ministers, attending continually upon this very thing.


7Render therefore to all their dues: tribute to whom tribute is due; custom to whom custom; fear to whom fear; honour to whom honour.


8Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.


9For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.


10Love worketh no ill to his neighbour: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law.


11And that, knowing the time, that now it is high time to awake out of sleep: for now is our salvation nearer than when we believed.


12The night is far spent, the day is at hand: let us therefore cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armour of light.


13Let us walk honestly, as in the day; not in rioting and drunkenness, not in chambering and wantonness, not in strife and envying.

14But put ye on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.

Yes, that includes Obama. Yes, that includes Bush. Yes, that includes Gordon Brown. It even includes Hitler, who was appointed by God, and Pol Pot, who was appointed by God, and atheists Fidel Castro, Mao Tse Tung, and Hugo Chavez, who were appointed by God.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Malachai Cone

Sorry, I didn't mean literally at birth. I was an infant, a year old at the most.

An infant can't read the Holy Bible.

I'll bet you haven't read it even once, have you boy.

[Malachai Cone]

I've read the Bible several times

It's the only thing I read aside from the Republican Monthly magazine I get in the mail.

[Nobar King]

How many? Don't you have a notch in the cover of your Bible for every time you completed it?

[JennyD]

Originally Posted by Malachai Cone

I've read the Bible several times

It's the only thing I read aside from the Republican Monthly magazine I get in the mail.

Really? Sounds like a magazine the ladies at The Monthly Visitor would enjoy.

I can't find their website. Where is it?

[Malachai Cone]

I've read the Bible thirty-five times this year and I'm right now in the middle of Psalm, so it'll be thirty six. The Republican Monthly is locally owned and a pretty small business so I wouldn't expect them to have a website. It's run by a few guys I like to go hunting, sailing, and buying John Deeres with; we went to a Tea Party last week.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

I guess you should warn people to wear boots in this thread. It's getting pretty deep, boy.

[Nobar King]

Maybe he has the cliff's notes version.

[Malachai Cone]

Geez, tell the truth and you guys crucif....err...um...criticize me

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Malachai Cone

Geez, tell the truth and you guys crucif....err...um...criticize me

I'm not convinced that you know what the truth is, pal.

Please tell us how you came to find Jesus. Are you blood bought or water bought?

[Nurse Clampett]

I'm sure the only thing you've ever done with the Bible is to roll joints with its most holy pages.
Why do you mock Baby Jesus?

[Malachai Cone]

Please tell us how you came to find Jesus.

I was involved in a car accident and started reading the Bible and studying it. I became very involved in my church attending Bible Study groups on Tuesdays and Thursday, holding yard sales and donating the money to charity and the church, etc. Hahahaha @ water bought. I'm blood bought

I'm sure the only thing you've ever done with the Bible is to roll joints with its most holy pages.

I shouldn't even respond to this ludicrous accusation. Joint? I've never been to jail in my life, although if that's how YOU found Jesus then I'm happy for you.