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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 04-14-2007, 05:35 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lateefah Yomama View Post
I had read part of that book... as much as I could stomach... and it do not surprise me that this godless ho had enjoyed readin' that smut. It be the inspiration for that godless Da Winky Code book. In it, Jesus marries that trollop Mary Magdalene and haves chillrens with her. He also disrespectful to God (his own DADDY!!) AND he be buddy-buddy with Satan - sound like what the Mormons believes! But that do not be the worst... the worst is... it depict... well, if any True Christian™ with a weak heart should be readin' this, it might be best if they stop right now. I'm warnin' y'all....It depict Jesus and Judas as HOMERS! Oooooo LORD! I done got traumatized just thinkin' about it. I's gonna have to go spend some time in the prayer closet now.
Perhaps you should have finished the book and then you would have actually understood it.
The possibilty of marriage and children was one of the things with which he was tempted. At the end of the book, he chooses to forego the chance to live out a norml mortal life and chooses the cross.

As for the book depicting him as buddy-buddy withSatan and lovers with Judas - YOU LIE!
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Default 06-09-2007, 12:35 AM

Yesterday, a power outage left me temporarily cut off from God's favourite forums. Since I'm naturally of a nervous and imaginative disposition (a condition that wasn't helped by the fact that I hadn't slept for the last 48 hours, and had spent the last two nights reading the stories of HP Lovecraft and obsessively rereading the Book of Revelation over and over again), I found that my head rapidly became filled with all sorts of nightmarish scenarios. What if the Rapture had started and I'd been Left Behind? What if the Four Horsemen were about to ride out and devastate humanity with famine, pestilence, war and death?

What if Barack Hussein Obama wins in 2008? I found the thought of America groaning under the tyranny of its first Jihadist President particularly alarming, and began to wonder about what exactly that crazed buck would get up to if he ever seized power. With this in mind (and still cut off from God's Favourite Forums), I decided to begin reading Black Skin, White Masks by Frantz Fanon, a book dedicated to solving the age-old question of whether negroes can be said to "think", and, if so, what they "think" about.

Fanon appears to be woefully unfamiliar with the Holy Bible, and the poor simpleminded pickaninny had obviously been manipulated by sinister Jews such as Freud and Sartre (or, as he refers to them, Massah Freud and Massah Sartre), but some of his conclusions are fascinating. He attempts to explain why it is that "mulattos and negroes have only one thought from the moment they land in Europe: to gratify their appetite for white women" (a direct quote from the book), and reaches a startling conclusion: the negro (or mulatto, reading the book I was saddened to discover that most mulattoes seem to be driven by the same primitive urges as their full-blooded spear-chucking cousins.

We should all give thanks to Christ for making sure that our own Brer Remy never displays the sort of wild behaviour as these savage jungle bunnies) is actually conscious of his own inferiority, and it is this that drives them to rape white women and steal their pies - amazingly enough, the thick-witted jigaboos appear to honestly believe that if they fornicate with enough white women and eat enough white people's pies, they'll eventually turn white themselves!

As I mentioned above, Fanon's mind was obviously confused by the anti-God doctrines of Sigmund Fraud, and this leads him to conduct a further investigation into why these Godless nigs are so inferior in the first place. His discoveries in this area are particularly interesting: according to Fanon, buck negroes are unable to resolve their oedipus complexes, owing to the fact that, during childhood, every single negro in the world has seen their father come home drunk on malt liquor, take all his clothes off, and then fall asleep, and it is this moment of witnessing their father drunk, naked and unconscious that leads them to develop the urge to become white. Fascinating stuff, and I'm not even halfway through yet.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

Last edited by Mrs. Mary Whitford; 06-09-2007 at 12:51 AM. Reason: You will not mess with Brother Temp's posts, Satan!
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 06-09-2007, 02:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Yesterday, a power outage left me temporarily cut off from God's favourite forums.
I seldom read anything except the TV Guide and the info stripe at the bottom of my FoxNews broadcast. But I did want to remind everyone to keep a few books on the shelf for when your power goes out . . . once lit, books give off light and heat and a large pile of books can provide hours of entertainment for the whole congregation.


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 06-09-2007, 01:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Yesterday, a power outage left me temporarily cut off from God's favourite forums. Since I'm naturally of a nervous and imaginative disposition (a condition that wasn't helped by the fact that I hadn't slept for the last 48 hours, and had spent the last two nights reading the stories of HP Lovecraft and obsessively rereading the Book of Revelation over and over again), I found that my head rapidly became filled with all sorts of nightmarish scenarios. What if the Rapture had started and I'd been Left Behind? What if the Four Horsemen were about to ride out and devastate humanity with famine, pestilence, war and death?

What if Barack Hussein Obama wins in 2008? I found the thought of America groaning under the tyranny of its first Jihadist President particularly alarming, and began to wonder about what exactly that crazed buck would get up to if he ever seized power. With this in mind (and still cut off from God's Favourite Forums), I decided to begin reading Black Skin, White Masks by Frantz Fanon, a book dedicated to solving the age-old question of whether negroes can be said to "think", and, if so, what they "think" about.

Fanon appears to be woefully unfamiliar with the Holy Bible, and the poor simpleminded pickaninny had obviously been manipulated by sinister Jews such as Freud and Sartre (or, as he refers to them, Massah Freud and Massah Sartre), but some of his conclusions are fascinating. He attempts to explain why it is that "mulattos and negroes have only one thought from the moment they land in Europe: to gratify their appetite for white women" (a direct quote from the book), and reaches a startling conclusion: the negro (or mulatto, reading the book I was saddened to discover that most mulattoes seem to be driven by the same primitive urges as their full-blooded spear-chucking cousins.

We should all give thanks to Christ for making sure that our own Brer Remy never displays the sort of wild behaviour as these savage jungle bunnies) is actually conscious of his own inferiority, and it is this that drives them to rape white women and steal their pies - amazingly enough, the thick-witted jigaboos appear to honestly believe that if they fornicate with enough white women and eat enough white people's pies, they'll eventually turn white themselves!

As I mentioned above, Fanon's mind was obviously confused by the anti-God doctrines of Sigmund Fraud, and this leads him to conduct a further investigation into why these Godless nigs are so inferior in the first place. His discoveries in this area are particularly interesting: according to Fanon, buck negroes are unable to resolve their oedipus complexes, owing to the fact that, during childhood, every single negro in the world has seen their father come home drunk on malt liquor, take all his clothes off, and then fall asleep, and it is this moment of witnessing their father drunk, naked and unconscious that leads them to develop the urge to become white. Fascinating stuff, and I'm not even halfway through yet.

BT,
Get some sleep. You're delusional from exhaustion.
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 06-09-2007, 01:20 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
I seldom read anything except the TV Guide and the info stripe at the bottom of my FoxNews broadcast. But I did want to remind everyone to keep a few books on the shelf for when your power goes out . . . once lit, books give off light and heat and a large pile of books can provide hours of entertainment for the whole congregation.

I KNEW there had to be a good use for all those Tim LaHaye and Josh McDowell books! I'm going to go out and buy some now to keep in the kindling box next to my fireplace. Thank you for the wonderful suggestion.
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 06-09-2007, 01:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
I KNEW there had to be a good use for all those Tim LaHaye and Josh McDowell books! I'm going to go out and buy some now to keep in the kindling box next to my fireplace. Thank you for the wonderful suggestion.
Well that's very nice of you! I know they'll appreciate the income, and both Brother Tim and Brother Josh are exuberant Tithers here at Landover Baptist. By all means purchase their books by the case!


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Black Sin, White Masks - 06-11-2007, 01:09 PM

Well, as mentioned in my previous post, I've not even finished Fanon's backwards negro book yet, but I keep finding more and more fascinating stuff. In the chapter I'm currently on, he examines the condition of "negrophobia." Now, I'd never heard of this before, but apparently some people are prejudiced against nigs, and regard them with a mixture of fear and revulsion. It's pretty strange to read about something so far removed from our normal experience, but apparently these people have a pathological fear of being raped by buck negroes, and in both women and men it results from them repressing their unhealthy urges for dark flesh. Just thinking about such things makes me stiff with disgust. I can barely even imagine what it must be like for these people who have a suppressed fascination with massive, throbbing, pounding negro tallywhackers. The idea seems so strange that I just can't stop thinking about it.
Please, if anyone can think of anything that could help me to understand this bizarre phenomenon of white folk who are obsessed with negro genitalia and find the sickening thought of white folk being penetrated by wild dark-skinned members is always at the back of their mind, I'd be very keen to hear it.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 06-11-2007, 01:48 PM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Well that's very nice of you! I know they'll appreciate the income, and both Brother Tim and Brother Josh are exuberant Tithers here at Landover Baptist. By all means purchase their books by the case!

I won't be buying new copies, so they won't be getting any extra royalties from me, and they aren't worth paying full cover price for anyway. I'll buy them from yard sales, thrift stores, etc., where they go for 10 to 25 cents each.
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Default Re: Black Sin, White Masks - 06-11-2007, 01:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
Well, as mentioned in my previous post, I've not even finished Fanon's backwards negro book yet, but I keep finding more and more fascinating stuff. In the chapter I'm currently on, he examines the condition of "negrophobia." Now, I'd never heard of this before, but apparently some people are prejudiced against nigs, and regard them with a mixture of fear and revulsion. It's pretty strange to read about something so far removed from our normal experience, but apparently these people have a pathological fear of being raped by buck negroes, and in both women and men it results from them repressing their unhealthy urges for dark flesh. Just thinking about such things makes me stiff with disgust. I can barely even imagine what it must be like for these people who have a suppressed fascination with massive, throbbing, pounding negro tallywhackers. The idea seems so strange that I just can't stop thinking about it.
Please, if anyone can think of anything that could help me to understand this bizarre phenomenon of white folk who are obsessed with negro genitalia and find the sickening thought of white folk being penetrated by wild dark-skinned members is always at the back of their mind, I'd be very keen to hear it.
You mean folks like TC's?
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Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Pastor Ezekiel will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 06-11-2007, 02:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
I won't be buying new copies, so they won't be getting any extra royalties from me, and they aren't worth paying full cover price for anyway. I'll buy them from yard sales, thrift stores, etc., where they go for 10 to 25 cents each.
Well if you want to go though those filthy places go right ahead. I know for a fact that unsaved children wipe their satanic boogers all over the things sold in yard sales and thrift stores....

At any rate, the guys are doing quite well without you. Their books are always on the NYT Bestsellers list. They rake in millions.

Quote:
Left Behind, book one, released with little fan fare in 1995, but now 12 years later, the series has sold more than 65 million copies and rocked the publishing world.
Take a look at what you're missing. You are one of the unsaved scum who will be "Left Behind". And good riddance too.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 06-11-2007, 02:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Well if you want to go though those filthy places go right ahead. I know for a fact that unsaved children wipe their satanic boogers all over the things sold in yard sales and thrift stores....


Satanic boogers? That's one I haven't heard before. Besides, what difference do germs make if I'm going to burn them anyway?

At any rate, the guys are doing quite well without you. Their books are always on the NYT Bestsellers list. They rake in millions.

So does Jimmy Braggart Ministries. I cna't stop idiots from sending him money, but I won't be writing him a check.



Take a look at what you're missing. You are one of the unsaved scum who will be "Left Behind". And good riddance too.
Given the choice between hell and eternity with folks like you, I'd take hell. Of course, since I believe that both heaven nor hell are imagnary, it's not a problem.
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Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.'s Avatar
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 06-11-2007, 09:08 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Given the choice between hell and eternity with folks like you, I'd take hell.
Of course you would. You couldn't stand to be around 24/7 joyfulness, now would you, Dances with Joy. To be in the Presence of the Lord for all eternity, now wouldn't that just be awful! Truly you make no sense to me! I presume you were sent to a public school

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Of course, since I believe that both heaven nor hell are imagnary, it's not a problem.
My, someone has quite the command of the English Language, hasn't he! Even as a scientist, I have a better grasp of the language than you...


Trump 2020: "For Real This Time"
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 06-11-2007, 09:14 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S. View Post
Of course you would. You couldn't stand to be around 24/7 joyfulness, now would you, Dances with Joy. To be in the Presence of the Lord for all eternity, now wouldn't that just be awful! Truly you make no sense to me! I presume you were sent to a public school


My, someone has quite the command of the English Language, hasn't he! Even as a scientist, I have a better grasp of the language than you...

So you've never made a typo and missed it? I originally typed "neither heaven nor hell are real," then changed it and forgot to delete one letter.

And I'm not a he.
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 06-12-2007, 12:31 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dances with Joy View Post
Given the choice between hell and eternity with folks like you, I'd take hell. Of course, since I believe that both heaven nor hell are imagnary, it's not a problem.
If that is true, then there is one way to prove it. I double dog dare you to say that you deny the Holy Ghost.

Please know that doing so will ABSOLUTELY and IRREVOCABLY ensure that you WILL be sent into eternal damnation. Denying the Holy Ghost is the one unforgivable sin, and I would urge you to NOT commit it.

But of course if you truly desire an eternity of unspeakable suffering in hellfire, then go right ahead. Jesus is watching.

I triple dog dare you.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 06-12-2007, 01:02 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
If that is true, then there is one way to prove it. I double dog dare you to say that you deny the Holy Ghost.

Please know that doing so will ABSOLUTELY and IRREVOCABLY ensure that you WILL be sent into eternal damnation. Denying the Holy Ghost is the one unforgivable sin, and I would urge you to NOT commit it.

But of course if you truly desire an eternity of unspeakable suffering in hellfire, then go right ahead. Jesus is watching.

I triple dog dare you.

There is no such entity as the Holy Ghost.
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Default Re: Books to BAN or BURN! - 06-22-2007, 03:37 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wash O'Hanley View Post
What can possibly be learned from a centuries old book anyway?
I ask myself the same question everyday. Though, I'm thinking of the Bible instead.

ANYWAY.

I READ said book.

I give it 2 thumbs up.

A superior work of fiction.

I especially liked the Unicorn and the Dragons.

Though, Eragon and Eldest by Christopher Paolini own the Bible SO hard.

Not to mention LoTR and other Tolkien books which are just beyond compare in this case.
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 07-08-2007, 03:09 AM

I was browsing the children's section of Bible's 'N Things the other day when I stumbled across this:



What a treasure! It's about three golliwogs (no surprise there! ) who live in a nursery cupboard. They're very unhappy in that cramped cupboard, so they decide to go adventuring and find a home of their own -- all kinds of hilarious hijinks ensue, but I won't spoil them here. It has delightful illustrations, quirky characters, a clever story, and NO sexual material, profanity, or blasphemy whatsoever. A perfect book for parents and children alike. Here's a snippet:

Quote:
Once the three bold Golliwogs, Golly, Woggie, and Nigger, decided to go for a walk to Bumble-Bee Common. Golly wasn't quite ready so Woggie and Nigger said they would start off without him, and Golly would catch them up as soon as he could. So off went Woggie and Nigger, arm-in-arm, singing merrily their favourite song - which, as you may guess, was Ten Little Nigger Boys.
You can see how the prose just sparkles. It's going for over forty bucks on Amazon, but Godless eBay has some FANTASTIC prices that are just too good to pass up. Don't miss out on one of the only good things to ever come out of Britain.




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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 07-08-2007, 07:54 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
If that is true, then there is one way to prove it. I double dog dare you to say that you deny the Holy Ghost.

Please know that doing so will ABSOLUTELY and IRREVOCABLY ensure that you WILL be sent into eternal damnation. Denying the Holy Ghost is the one unforgivable sin, and I would urge you to NOT commit it.

But of course if you truly desire an eternity of unspeakable suffering in hellfire, then go right ahead. Jesus is watching.

I triple dog dare you.
Is there a reason for you daring her to do that, then in the same post urging her not too, and then daring her to again? Make up your mind please.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 07-08-2007, 09:09 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Joo View Post
Is there a reason for you daring her to do that, then in the same post urging her not too, and then daring her to again? Make up your mind please.
Jesus makes up my mind, thank you very much.

By the way, I don't see YOU denying the Holy Ghost.....


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Review a Book for Jesus!! - 07-08-2007, 11:20 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Jesus makes up my mind, thank you very much.

By the way, I don't see YOU denying the Holy Ghost.....
When did I said I wanted to?
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