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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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Default Reintroduction: Good Day True Christians! - 05-21-2015, 01:28 AM

I hope you are great in the light of the Lord!

I have been missing from this forum for a number of years and have finally come back to you. While I was gone, me and a number of men from my church went into the wilderness with our cache of spiritual and tactical weaponry to train against the armies of Satan and falafels. You can never be quite so sure when either of those beasts will come a knockin'!

Our trip was really amazing. We cut off all communication and trained really hard. We did a lot of close combat training like suplexes, pins, 2-on-1 moves. Boy was my backside sore after a lot of that work. Many nights in the cold wilderness we would huddle together and try to create as much friction as possible to keep each other warm while shouting to the lord at the top of our lungs!

Not only are we ready to drop the bomb on Satan and those sanders (), but we're all very close now. I would say that we're much like David and Jonathan in our closeness. Us men should all strive to this biblical old testament friendship with our friends:

1 Samuel 18:1-4
As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.

2 Samuel 1:26
I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother;
you were very dear to me.
Your love for me was wonderful,
more wonderful than that of women.

Be blessed all!


http://i.imgur.com/QonLDHq.jpg

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
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Default Re: Reintroduction: Good Day True Christians! - 05-21-2015, 01:52 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Eternal Flame View Post
I hope you are great in the light of the Lord!

I have been missing from this forum for a number of years and have finally come back to you. While I was gone, me and a number of men from my church went into the wilderness with our cache of spiritual and tactical weaponry to train against the armies of Satan and falafels. You can never be quite so sure when either of those beasts will come a knockin'!

Our trip was really amazing. We cut off all communication and trained really hard. We did a lot of close combat training like suplexes, pins, 2-on-1 moves. Boy was my backside sore after a lot of that work. Many nights in the cold wilderness we would huddle together and try to create as much friction as possible to keep each other warm while shouting to the lord at the top of our lungs!

Not only are we ready to drop the bomb on Satan and those sanders (), but we're all very close now. I would say that we're much like David and Jonathan in our closeness. Us men should all strive to this biblical old testament friendship with our friends:

1 Samuel 18:1-4
As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. 2 And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father's house. 3 Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.

2 Samuel 1:26
I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother;
you were very dear to me.
Your love for me was wonderful,
more wonderful than that of women.

Be blessed all!
I'm glad I read your post before I responded to it...I had a knee-jerk reaction to rebuke you summarily. Thank you Jesus for sparing this man an unwarranted tongue-lashing.
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Default Re: Reintroduction: Good Day True Christians! - 05-21-2015, 03:20 AM

Welcome back, friend. Have you been preaching the good word to the jigaboos in africa all these years? Did you find even one jungle bunny who could speak God's favorite language (American)? It's only through God's Mercy that you weren't eaten by cannibals.

I hope you stick around this time.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Reintroduction: Good Day True Christians! - 05-21-2015, 02:34 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Welcome back, friend. Have you been preaching the good word to the jigaboos in africa all these years? Did you find even one jungle bunny who could speak God's favorite language (American)? It's only through God's Mercy that you weren't eaten by cannibals.

I hope you stick around this time.
Goodness no. Try and try as we might, we couldn't even find one who spoke American. It was depressing but this is why my family would tell me to stay away from them. No-gooders, the lot of them. One of them even raped one of our church sisters recently! Our good sister was so traumatized that she had repressed the memory until we found out she was pregnant.

The courts were quick to sentence him to death and by the grace and mercies of God the baby came out white as snow. He took away all of the nigradom in him. We even tested the child's DNA and apparently God used DNA from a place not too far from our pastor's ancestral home. Now we know this child is sanctified and favored by God. Amen!


http://i.imgur.com/QonLDHq.jpg

Deuteronomy 31:6
Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.
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Default Re: Reintroduction: Good Day True Christians! - 05-21-2015, 04:47 PM

Good to see you, friend. I too, go to nature retreats with only those men with the firmest back and strongest stomachs to show God my devotion to Him. He knows I will do what ever He wants and whatever it takes to satisfy His needs.


Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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