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The introduction forum Attention Unsaved Trash: This the ONLY subforum you can start threads in. Here is where you introduce yourself. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus.

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(#21)
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snottyduck's Avatar
snottyduck snottyduck is offline
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snottyduck is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: God gave me an edit button! (AND MEMBERSHIP!!) - 07-21-2008, 05:13 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SUV View Post
Snotgansken! You're LOLing! Are you feeling the lurve of JESUS?

Har, if that last photograph is proof that Jesus exists then there is poop coming out of his head.
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(#22)
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Mistress Cookie Mistress Cookie is offline
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Default Re: God gave me an edit button! (AND MEMBERSHIP!!) - 07-22-2008, 12:10 AM

<< You were lucky to be chosen for membership. That means that your devotion to Jesus was deemed sincere. Don't let us down. >>

Wise words, Brother King. (Or should I say Brother Nobar, as "Brother King" just doesn't have the right ring here.)

I am not only ecstatic with being invited into The Fold as a Member, but humbled. Ours is a heavy cross of responsibility to bear.

But it wasn't all smooth going. I got an infraction almost immediately by thinking our Church name was spelled "Landrover". But Brother Wide-Open quickly set me straight, for which I am ever thankful unto both he and the Lord. Let this inspire any Unsaved Trash who've racked up infractions, and think they're blackballed for all God's eternity; Turn That Frown Upside Down! It doesn't mean they're held against you forever!

PRAISE BE!
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(#23)
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snottyduck's Avatar
snottyduck snottyduck is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 564
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Belgium
snottyduck is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: God gave me an edit button! (AND MEMBERSHIP!!) - 07-22-2008, 08:05 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mistress Cookie View Post
<< You were lucky to be chosen for membership. That means that your devotion to Jesus was deemed sincere. Don't let us down. >>

Wise words, Brother King. (Or should I say Brother Nobar, as "Brother King" just doesn't have the right ring here.)

I am not only ecstatic with being invited into The Fold as a Member, but humbled. Ours is a heavy cross of responsibility to bear.

But it wasn't all smooth going. I got an infraction almost immediately by thinking our Church name was spelled "Landrover". But Brother Wide-Open quickly set me straight, for which I am ever thankful unto both he and the Lord. Let this inspire any Unsaved Trash who've racked up infractions, and think they're blackballed for all God's eternity; Turn That Frown Upside Down! It doesn't mean they're held against you forever!

PRAISE BE!
How much did it cost you to become member??
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(#24)
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commie!commie!commie!'s Avatar
commie!commie!commie! commie!commie!commie! is offline
Unsaved trash
 
 
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commie!commie!commie! is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: God gave me an edit button! (AND MEMBERSHIP!!) - 07-22-2008, 09:13 AM

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Originally Posted by Cheshire View Post
Don't listen to that lying ding-dong. You should be very happy that you are on your way to Salvation.
How do you achieve 'Salvation' again?
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(#25)
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snottyduck snottyduck is offline
Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
 
Posts: 564
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Belgium
snottyduck is fearful, unbelieving, a liar, a whoremonger, and abominable. Has a place in the Lake of Fire secured.
Default Re: God gave me an edit button! (AND MEMBERSHIP!!) - 07-22-2008, 11:13 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by citycitycity View Post
How do you achieve 'Salvation' again?
By donating a certain sum of money through the paypal button here in this site. You know what that means.
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Pastor Ezekiel Pastor Ezekiel is offline
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Default Re: God gave me an edit button! (AND MEMBERSHIP!!) - 07-22-2008, 01:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by citycitycity View Post
How do you achieve 'Salvation' again?
Don't listen to unsaved scum like the duckman. He'll drag you down to hell right along with him and laugh at you.

God's Plan for Salvation can be read HERE. I strongly urge you to study it carefully, then drop to your kneees and pray that Jesus wash you clean with His blood.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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