Most Christian States Buy Most 50 Shades of Grey Tickets For Love Of Jesus

[Mary Etheldreda]

According to the Washington Post, in a show of spiritual solidarity, Christians from the states populated with the most fervent churches come together to purchase tickets for the upcoming movie, 50 Shades of Grey. The only reason for this act can be to help their Christian brethren who may be struggling with the temptation to watch pornography or quality drama. By taking a cue from Godless heathens themselves, [Icelanders Protest Evangelist Franklin Graham By Reserving Tickets To His Festival With No Intention Of Showing Up], these movie theaters will be playing to empty houses!

Praise Jesus!

Christian states secure box office tickets
to spare those tempted by pornography or quality drama




Most devoted Christ followers state by state

Note that 6 out of the 10 states where the most tickets were purchased
are among the most devoted to Christ. I pray this inspires the
other 40 states to get on the ball and start working together to thwart
Satan in similarly creative ways. I don't really expect California to join in,
as that is a lost cause and my prayers are focused on its imminent
plummet into the sea.

[Basilissa]

Re: Most Christian States Buy Most 50 Shades of Grey Tickets For Love Of Jesus

According to the Washington Post, in a show of spiritual solidarity, Christians from the states populated with the most fervent churches come together to purchase tickets for the upcoming movie, 50 Shades of Grey. The only reason for this act can be to help their Christian brethren who may be struggling with the temptation to watch pornography or quality drama. By taking a cue from Godless heathens themselves, [Icelanders Protest Evangelist Franklin Graham By Reserving Tickets To His Festival With No Intention Of Showing Up], these movie theaters will be playing to empty houses!

Praise Jesus!

Christian states secure box office tickets
to spare those tempted by pornography or quality drama




Most devoted Christ followers state by state

Note that 6 out of the 10 states where the most tickets were purchased
are among the most devoted to Christ. I pray this inspires the
other 40 states to get on the ball and start working together to thwart
Satan in similarly creative ways. I don't really expect California to join in,
as that is a lost cause and my prayers are focused on its imminent
plummet into the sea.

Obviously, there is no other logical explanation. Our Godly True Christians™ living in the South are saving unsuspecting heathens from seeing this disgusting movie by buying out all tickets!

Praise !

[Redeemed Papist]

Re: Most Christian States Buy Most 50 Shades of Grey Tickets For Love Of Jesus

I weep inside at the simple fact True Christians need to go to such lengths to keep the false Christians from Satan's clutches.

When are we having the ticket burning ceremony? Which proud men from Landover were involved, or would revealing their identities put them in danger from the forces of darkness?

[Joanna Lytton-Vasey]

Re: Most Christian States Buy Most 50 Shades of Grey Tickets For Love Of Jesus

Our small local independent cinema is showing this movie for 4 days later in the week. Luckily, my husband was quick off the mark and purchased ALL the tickets. He then donated them to the Church, a registered charity, at cost value. As a result, according to his joo accountant, Pastor Steve will be able to claim a tax rebate equivalent to about 20% of the cost of the tickets.

So my dear Matthew (who obeys Mark 12:17 in rendering unto Caesar what is Caesar's) is simultaneously saving the souls of people who might otherwise have seen this movie and profiting the Church.

The only question that remains is what to do with the tickets. My husband wants to burn the lot, but Pastor Steve is considering inviting a few senior Churchmen to one or more of the showings, on the basis that they need to know what they are protesting against, and then holding a public burning of the remainder after Fellowship on Wednesday.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Most Christian States Buy Most 50 Shades of Grey Tickets For Love Of Jesus

My husband and I are raising money in our church to buy out all the screenings in our city the entire show. So, we are doing the same as Sister Joanna and helping the Church and Saving lost souls. Several other churches, real churches may I add, are doing it. My husband and the other pastors are planning on viewing the first showing, and then he is going to take me and a few other senior ladies in my church. I'm not excited, but I am going to submit to his ruling, after all, I must obey Ephesians 5:22. He is after all, a good man, and I trust his godly judgement. After that, we are going to picket and march against the movie throughout the town and we are setting up groups to go around the county and block people from entering the movie. Praise Jesus!

[Alvin Moss]

Re: Most Christian States Buy Most 50 Shades of Grey Tickets For Love Of Jesus

According to the Washington Post, in a show of spiritual solidarity, Christians from the states populated with the most fervent churches come together to purchase tickets for the upcoming movie, 50 Shades of Grey. The only reason for this act can be to help their Christian brethren who may be struggling with the temptation to watch pornography or quality drama. By taking a cue from Godless heathens themselves, [Icelanders Protest Evangelist Franklin Graham By Reserving Tickets To His Festival With No Intention Of Showing Up], these movie theaters will be playing to empty houses!

Praise Jesus!

Christian states secure box office tickets
to spare those tempted by pornography or quality drama

Most devoted Christ followers state by state

Note that 6 out of the 10 states where the most tickets were purchased
are among the most devoted to Christ. I pray this inspires the
other 40 states to get on the ball and start working together to thwart
Satan in similarly creative ways. I don't really expect California to join in,
as that is a lost cause and my prayers are focused on its imminent

plummet into the sea.

Sister, there could be another explanation. Even a Godly state, like Texas for instance, will have pockets of the Devil's people and some of those pockets may be quite large. As an example, Houston has a godless lesbian for a Mayor and is, in fact, one of the most wretched Hell holes of sin in America. Austin has a similar problem, having a lesbian district attorney who, besides being a godless lawyer, likes to indict Republicans on trumped up charges while she drives around drunk and having accidents, which she mostly doesn't prosecute herself for. I believe that those buying tickets to this pornography may be intending to watch that filth.


This may sound strange, coming from a Texan, but I believe that the entire world would benefit from the immediate atomic destruction of both of those two cities, as well as many others I have not mentioned.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Most Christian States Buy Most 50 Shades of Grey Tickets For Love Of Jesus

I urge all True Christians(tm) to watch this important video!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Most Christian States Buy Most 50 Shades of Grey Tickets For Love Of Jesus

Now see what this Hellywood movie has done! A girl watched that pornography and then went out and got herself raped by a monkey on campus.

Sex assault charges tied to 'Fifty Shades of Grey' movie

A University of Illinois at Chicago student leader was charged with sexually assaulting a 19-year-old female student in what Cook County prosecutors said Monday was part of a re-enactment of scenes from the film "Fifty Shades of Grey."

Freshman Mohammad Hossain, 19, appeared shocked after a Cook County judge set his bail at $500,000, walking back to the lockup with his mouth wide open.

The judge was taken aback after Hossain's lawyer, assistant Cook County public defender Sandra Bennewitz, said Hossain had been involved with several UIC leadership programs, was a student ambassador to the alumni association and was on the triathlon team.

"Sandra, how can someone involved in all that let a movie persuade him to do something like this?" asked Judge Adam Bourgeois Jr.

"He would say that it was consensual," she replied.

Prosecutors said Hossain and the woman went to Hossain's dorm room about 5:30 p.m. Saturday. The two had "previously been intimate" but were not dating, said Assistant State's Attorney Sarah Karr.

Once inside his dorm, in the 900 block of West Harrison Street, Hossain allegedly asked the woman to remove her clothing and she did, keeping on her bra and underwear, Karr said. He then bound her hands above her head and to a bed with a belt, used another belt to bind her legs and stuffed a necktie into her mouth, Karr said.

Hossain used a knit cap to cover the woman's eyes, Karr said, and removed the woman's bra and underwear. He then began striking the woman with a belt. After hitting her several times, the woman told Hossain he was hurting her, told him to stop "and began shaking her head and crying," said Karr.

Hossain continued striking the woman — including with his fists, according to an arrest report — and she managed to get one arm, and then another, free. But he then held her arms behind her back and sexually assaulted her as she continued to plead for him to stop, according to Karr.

Hossain's roommate came home soon after the assault and, prosecutors said, Hossain held the door shut to prevent him from entering. The woman then left and told another person what happened, then called police.

Police arrested Hossain later that night in another dorm building in the 700 block of South Halsted Street, according to an arrest report. He was interviewed by UIC detectives and, according to Karr, admitted assaulting the woman and "doing something wrong." He allegedly told police he and the woman were re-enacting scenes from "Fifty Shades of Grey."

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: Most Christian States Buy Most 50 Shades of Grey Tickets For Love Of Jesus

Now see what this Hellywood movie has done! A girl watched that pornography and then went out and got herself raped by a monkey on campus.

Well, what do you expect when you take Jesus out of schools, and put Christian Gray in instead?

[Peter Samwell]

Re: Most Christian States Buy Most 50 Shades of Grey Tickets For Love Of Jesus

This appears to be one way of dealing with perverted threat of 50 shades of grey. A more simplified, albeit rudimentary way could also be destroying these vile theaters of lust. It would only take about 5000 True Christians™ to destroy every movie theater in America. With enough hard work each theater could be leveled, striking a blow to that fowl being, Satan.

[Javaharlot]

Re: Most Christian States Buy Most 50 Shades of Grey Tickets For Love Of Jesus

TEXAS BOUGHT TICKETS TO WATCH THE MOVIE!!!!! IT WAS A GOOD MOVIE. I loved it. I diddled myself in the theater.

[Motty the Zit-Faced Lezbean]

Re: Most Christian States Buy Most 50 Shades of Grey Tickets For Love Of Jesus

This is the most Godly thing I've seen! (Other than the bible and Himself) 50 Shades is putting youth in danger, by corrupting their minds and averting from the Lord. Even my Godless mother believes that this movie is corrupt and vile. (Not repeating her words because I am afraid they are too vile to come from a young girl)