Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
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Pastor of Praise and Worship A True Christian™ Straight Shooter
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Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-11-2011, 10:20 PM
I just caught it about an hour ago. These things can live three or four days without food or water.
Should I just throw it away and let it die slowly? Should I crucify it to let it know our Lord and Savior's pain on the cross thus purifying it? Perhaps I decapitate it quickly and put its head on a pike as a warning to other would be rat invaders.
Do you guys have any suggestions?
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Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-11-2011, 10:52 PM
Rats are animals put here to serve us Pastor. Perhaps you should take it to Sunday school and have the kids execute it so they can understand why Wiccan (as in Green) is wrong.
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-11-2011, 11:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor William Nathaniel Sampson
I just caught it about an hour ago. These things can live three or four days without food or water.
Should I just throw it away and let it die slowly? Should I crucify it to let it know our Lord and Savior's pain on the cross thus purifying it? Perhaps I decapitate it quickly and put its head on a pike as a warning to other would be rat invaders.
Do you guys have any suggestions?
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If you want it to suffer least, drop a brick on its head. Almost instantaneous, but they may be a LARGE blood "event".
Decapitation isn't so quick. The brain is still intact, and can maintain conciousness for a short while. LBE is also possible.
Easiest for you (and morally defensible, imo) is drowning (bucket or somesuch). Not as quick as the other methods, but harder to screw up.
Personally, I don't like glue traps, as the animal can live for days, as you pointed out. If you have regular rodent problems, a barn cat could be a consideration.
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 02:23 AM
God gave us the animals to do with as we please. I'd let your kids torture it for awhile.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 02:30 AM
Whatever you do, don't sell it. Anyone willing to pay money for a rat is a homer.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 02:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
Whatever you do, don't sell it. Anyone willing to pay money for a rat is a homer.
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Unless they buy it to feed to their snake.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 02:35 AM
If you elect to drown it, make sure you have a large bucket or tub. They will try very, very hard to keep from being put in there, and you'd be surprised how strong that tail is.
Don't ask me how I know.
Oh, and stay nearby: they can hold their breath a LOOOOOOONG time.
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 02:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Unless they buy it to feed to their snake.
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I admire your optimism. You are always giving people the benefit of the doubt.
Perhaps I am cynical, but I believe anything a homer buys will wind up in his anus eventually.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 02:44 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
I admire your optimism. You are always giving people the benefit of the doubt.
Perhaps I am cynical, but I believe anything a homer buys will wind up in his anus eventually.
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Especially rodents.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Pastor of Praise and Worship A True Christian™ Straight Shooter
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Posts: 3,891
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 03:13 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
God gave us the animals to do with as we please. I'd let your kids torture it for awhile.
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Little Zeke already put pushpins through it eyes. It's so hilarious watching it trying to get up still while blinded.
We keep giving it water. We wouldn't want it to die too quickly in this heat, would we?
Praise and worship with Pastor Will. Services at 9 a.m., 11 a.m. and 6 p.m.
Contact me. pastorwillsampson at gmail.com
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 09:26 AM
Down on the farm we used to catch rats as a sport on Saturday, usually I'd have about 5 in an afternoon and my brothers would have the same number. We caught them in rat cages and then put them into a large ceramic 'Belfast sink' we kept in the bottom field, they couldn't climb up the sides and it was amusing to watch them clamber on top of each other trying to escape.
After a while we'd get bored and pour gas on them and set them alight, the chorus of shrieks and screams always freaked us out, as that what we'd imagine burining in hell would be like.
You could set the rat alight and use it as an example to show your kids what would happen to them in hell if they don't read the KJV, do as you say and praise Jesus. God has a purpose for every animal and if it's not meat, sport or work then the only other way is to be used as an instrument teaching.
Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 02:52 PM
well, sometimes my beloved cats will bring me a dead rat or two and leave it on the trailer steps? No use lettin good meat go to waste. Sometimes them cats will already have the critter gutted, so prep time is a snap! just toss that rat corpse in the boiling pot, and most of the fur will just sluice right off, praise God! then once that rat meat is right boiled, just serve it up with a heaping dollop of mayonnaise and kool whip. good eatin!
yic
Genesis 1:24
And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: livestock, creatures that move along the ground, and wild animals, each according to its kind: and it was so."
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 03:02 PM
Take it to Sunday School, and let the kids stone it to death. But only let them use small stones so they get their aim right.
Matthew:
5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 03:04 PM
It's the harbinger of RA11! Yea, what Man is so blind that he cannot see it?
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Director of the German "Holy-caust" Evangelical Crusade Jesus macht frei
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 04:20 PM
I used to put a dead rat into the bed of my daughter. This had a huge influence on her. The days after she was very quiet and did the work she had to do. And if there was something she did wrong i told her:" The next time the rat is alive!"
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 04:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Titus Templeton
I used to put a dead rat into the bed of my daughter. This had a huge influence on her. The days after she was very quiet and did the work she had to do. And if there was something she did wrong i told her:" The next time the rat is alive!"
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That reminds me of the time I used medieval rat torture on my ex-wife!
It's great how, now that she has been anonymously stoned to death for her lesbian fornications, I can look back on those times and laugh. It shows how forgiving I am.
Believe me, Freehold is better off now that Ethel is in Hell.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 05:54 PM
Is the rat still alive? I think you should cover it in more glue, or at least wrap another rat glue trap around it before you throw it in the trash.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 06:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Unless they buy it to feed to their snake.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
Perhaps I am cynical, but I believe anything a homer buys will wind up in his anus eventually.
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I agree. Don't misunderestimate them homers; anything would, f inally, end up in his cornhole (including and espacially snakes) - except if some ornamental would buy it, then you'd know where it would end up:
Delicious? Think again.
YiC
Dan
Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.
... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 06:54 PM
Doesn't all ornamental food have rat meat of some sort in it? Isn't that why they use all sorts of spices, sauces and curries - to mask the flavour. Yuck!
Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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Re: Caught a rat in a glue trap. What to do with it? -
08-12-2011, 10:18 PM
Cut off it's tail and put it under it's mouth, I bet he eats it when he gets hungry.
Oh and give it a nickname....Barrat Obama?
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