[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Unsaved and Loving It

Too Long, Only Read interesting bits.

So, tell me what parts interested you...I could have made the whole thing more to your "interests" but we have rules against posting gay-fisting-amputee-diaper pornography. Don't worry, you'll get to see plenty of that sort of this during the billions of centuries you will spend in the depths of HELL.

[nikilds]

Wow brother! You have quite the power of Christ girded in your loins!

I see God's Army just got strengthened even more by your testimony!!

Praise Jesus for your wise words!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

nikilds, I'm worried by this part of your signature:

"You don't need to touch another person's body–or your own–to have a rockin' good time!"

I brought to mind those buddhist tantra masters and their long-distance fornification tecchniques - which Jesus hates. You see, it's not so much the touching part Jesus hates (after all, he wants us to touch butts when we spank kids). It the "rocking good time" that Jesus hates.

Think of our policy on alcohol: "drunken revelry" is condemmed by the Bible, so parties are forbidden in Freehold. However, there's no rules against miserable people drinking alone, because that's not revelry. It's not the alcohol God hates, it's the revelry.

Guns don't kill people, people kill people. Bodies don't condemn souls, rockin' good times condemn souls.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing

Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!

You're a Pagan, which means you follow a religion that was completely extinct over a thousand years ago. How about you wake up and smell the sixth century!?

[Unsaved and Loving It]

Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond

You're a Pagan, which means you follow a religion that was completely extinct over a thousand years ago. How about you wake up and smell the sixth century!?

Obviously not completely extinct, good sir.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Unsaved and Loving It

Obviously not completely extinct, good sir.

Um, no, the vast majority of pagan cultures were totally annihilated. Then, in the mid-20th century, some exceptionally silly kids decided it'd be fun to play at being medieval goat-worshippers. Nevertheless, there is absolutely no real connection between acid casualties like Hellsin or Lilith and actual ancient pagan cultures.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Unsaved and Loving It

Obviously not completely extinct, good sir.

Okay, but you're what the scientists would call "functionally extinct".

Why?

Are you sure you want to know? It's going to hurt.

Fine.

The last surviving creatures of a species, despite being alive and well, are called "functionally extinct" if they have no hope of reproducing.

And you, sir, could not convince a mink in heat overdosed on spanish-fly washed down with Vodka-Red-Bull shooters to give you a firm handshake at a 3-D IMAX double-feature of "Chocolat".

[Trent Harvey, Jr.]

Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond

And you, sir, could not convince a mink in heat overdosed on spanish-fly washed down with Vodka-Red-Bull shooters to give you a firm handshake at a 3-D IMAX double-feature of "Chocolat".

BURN! Oh, oh, and it's also at her best friends wedding reception! And she's black!

[Joo (Quarantined)]

...So why is this thread in the Introductions Forum? Seems out of place...

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Joo

...So why is this thread in the Introductions Forum? Seems out of place...

Let me get this straight....YOU are complaining about threads being derailed?

Clean up your own glass house, Christ-killer.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Joo

...So why is this thread in the Introductions Forum? Seems out of place...

Oh, so it's the THREAD who is out of place? Not you? You jews have always been big on finding scapegoats for everything!

Anyway, the title of the thread is "What Jeb Thurmond thinks about everything" and I've just said I think the few remaining pagans are extinct due to the last virile male spilling his last drop of seed while reading a fanfic called "Horny Potter".

And as for what I think about Jews, you're a bunch of culture-corroding, hollywood pornmongering, frivulous lawsuit inventing, divorce lawyering, Christ-killing, wannabe world-dominating, democrat-voting, Mel Gibson persecuting babyeaters.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Amen Brother Jeb,

But I see you left out foreskin gnawing.

Lve, Sister Thumper

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Originally Posted by Jeb Thurmond

Oh, so it's the THREAD who is out of place?

Yeah.

If you put it in the general section it wouldn't be, but this isn't an introduction thread, and it's in the introduction forum...hence out of place.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Joo

Yeah.

If you put it in the general section it wouldn't be, but this isn't an introduction thread, and it's in the introduction forum...hence out of place.

It is an introduction thread. Did you know anything about what Jeb Thurmond thinks before you read this thread? No. Do you now? Yes, because you've been introduced to him and his ideas. You should be grateful.

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

It is an introduction thread. Did you know anything about what Jeb Thurmond thinks before you read this thread? No. Do you now? Yes, because you've been introduced to him and his ideas. You should be grateful.

It's not an introduction thread in the way that the introduction forum was clearly meant for. It was meant for topics like "Hi my name is X, I'm an X and I like X."

(Waits to see if anyone notices the innuendo in there...)

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Joo

It's not an introduction thread in the way that the introduction forum was clearly meant for. It was meant for topics like "Hi my name is X, I'm an X and I like X."

(Waits to see if anyone notices the innuendo in there...)

What do you mean? From reading this topic, you've learnt that his name is Jeb Thurmond, he is a genius, and he likes things which aren't sinful. What more could you ask for?

[Joo (Quarantined)]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

What do you mean? From reading this topic, you've learnt that his name is Jeb Thurmond, he is a genius, and he likes things which aren't sinful. What more could you ask for?

...Never mind, let's just not take this any further off topic than it is shall we?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Brother Jeb you serve as gods inspiration to us all. However .....
" know the whole above paragraph might not actually be written in the Bible (at least without some interpretation) but there's nothing in the Bible that contradicts it, so you can't prove it's not true, can you?"......this disturbs me greatly. God didnt write it - so its quite clearly NOT TRUE. God didn't need your help making the Universe and he sure as heck don't need your help making amendments to HIS book.Amen. Other than that Brother Jeb you are a role model to us all.

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

Originally Posted by Joo

"Hi my name is X, I'm an X and I like X."

(Waits to see if anyone notices the innuendo in there...)

Oh, I get it. It would have made more sense if you said "Hi, My name is Joo, I'm an * and I like male*. One time I managed to fit 10 inches of cucumber up my *."

Repent, or you'll face an eternity seeing nothing but Satan's * in your face and the sin-sticks of several demons up your *. REPENT!

[Jeb Stuart Thurmond]

With the peanut gallery gone, the Jebopedia can continue:

On Fred Thompson:

Fred Thomson is the leading conservative Republican candidate.

He is on the board of advisers for Scooter Libby's legal fund, helping defend every American's right to give away the identity of CIA agents who marry Democrats.

He was a lobbyist for the British reinsurance company Equitas Ltd. The company paid him $760,000 to guard its interests against several bills seeking to protect businesses from asbestos lawsuits. This is especially important because it shows he won't be swayed by whining Jew Yorkers who claim they inhaled asbestos on 9-11.

He also lobbyed for Haitian strongman Jean-Bertrand Aristide after Clinton persecuted him out of power. Best of all, for those of us old enough to remember the Reagan years, he lobbyed for the passage of the Savings and Loan deregulation legislation.

He has been attacked for being "a Gucci-wearing, Lincoln-driving, Perrier-drinking, Grey Poupon-spreading millionaire Washington special interest lobbyist." Hey, Mr. Class Envy, you forgot to be jealous because of his awesome trophy wife:


Now there's a second wife that will make a great First Lady!

Here are his most notable policy statements:

*Supports a pre-emptive strike against Iran.
*Supports cutting Social Security payments: "If grandmom and granddad think that a little sacrifice will help their grandchildren when they get married, try to buy a home or have children, they will respond to a credible call to make that sacrifice..." (from his Orange county speech)

And best of all about his policy....That's it. He's not passed a single piece of legislature. He's a perfect blank slate, just waiting to be molded into place by lobbyists and donors such as Landover Baptist Church.



On Catholic Kitten-Stomping:

CATHOLICS STOMP 60,000 KITTENS EVERY YEAR!

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main...26/wcat126.xml

Quote:
By Carmiola Ionescu, Sunday Telegraph

Last Updated: 1:42am BST 26/08/2007

Superstition blamed for killing thousands of black cats in Italy

A leading animal rights group has estimated that 60,000 black cats are killed every year by Italians who believe that they bring bad luck.

The Italian Association for the Protection of Animals and the Environment claims that some are also killed as part of black magic rituals.

While black cats are seen as being lucky in the UK, many people in Italy believe that if a black cat crosses their path it indicates the devil is present. The association calculated its figure from observations of the stray cat population and from monitoring of animal ownership registers. The group said it had evidence that thousands of black cats vanished or were found dead each year.

Across large parts of Europe, black cats have been associated with witchcraft since the Middle Ages and were said to be the favourite companions for witches.

Lorenzo Croce, the association's president, blamed the Church for spreading myths about the animals.

"The Catholic Church has perpetuated this idea for centuries and it is now deeply implanted in people's minds," he said.

"For centuries black cats were massacred at the order of priests."



See more enemies of the Catholic Church

On Armenians:

What do you call an Armenian returning home?
-Deported

When does a pretty girl wink at an Armenian?
-when she is aiming with a rifle

What do you call a peice of sandpaper in Armenia?
-a map

what is an armenian without a broom?
-unemployed.

Why do turks wear turbans?
-So they can hide the rest of Armenia

what do you do when an armenian throws a grenade at you?
-Pull the pin and throw it back

How do you circumsize an armenian?
-kick his sister in the chin.

how do you stop an armenian tank?
-shoot the people pushing it.

On President-for-Life Bush:

(Before you conclude that this article is a pipe dream, remember that the publisher of this article, Family Security Matters, is a front group for the Center for Security Policy, a group that Vice President Dick Cheney is a known associate of.

Also remember that the HSPD-20/NSPD-51 directives issued by Bush states that the President is to have complete control over all three branches of government during a catastrophic emergency. In addition, the Department of Homeland Security plans for continuity of government operations have been kept secret from Congress.

Keep praying everybody!)

Conquering the Drawbacks of Democracy

By Philip Atkinson

President George W. Bush is the 43rd President of the United States. He was sworn in for a second term on January 20, 2005 after being chosen by the majority of citizens in America to be president.

Yet in 2007 he is generally despised, with many citizens of Western civilization expressing contempt for his person and his policies, sentiments which now abound on the Internet. This rage at President Bush is an inevitable result of the system of government demanded by the people, which is Democracy.

The inadequacy of Democracy, rule by the majority, is undeniable – for it demands adopting ideas because they are popular, rather than because they are wise. This means that any man chosen to act as an agent of the people is placed in an invidious position: if he commits folly because it is popular, then he will be held responsible for the inevitable result. If he refuses to commit folly, then he will be detested by most citizens because he is frustrating their demands.

When faced with the possible threat that the Iraqis might be amassing terrible weapons that could be used to slay millions of citizens of Western Civilization, President Bush took the only action prudence demanded and the electorate allowed: he conquered Iraq with an army.

This dangerous and expensive act did destroy the Iraqi regime, but left an American army without any clear purpose in a hostile country and subject to attack. If the Army merely returns to its home, then the threat it ended would simply return.

The wisest course would have been for President Bush to use his nuclear weapons to slaughter Iraqis until they complied with his demands, or until they were all dead. Then there would be little risk or expense and no American army would be left exposed. But if he did this, his cowardly electorate would have instantly ended his term of office, if not his freedom or his life.

The simple truth that modern weapons now mean a nation must practice genocide or commit suicide. Israel provides the perfect example. If the Israelis do not raze Iran, the Iranians will fulfill their boast and wipe Israel off the face of the earth. Yet Israel is not popular, and so is denied permission to defend itself. In the same vein, President Bush cannot do what is necessary for the survival of Americans. He cannot use the nation's powerful weapons. All he can do is try and discover a result that will be popular with Americans.

As there appears to be no sensible result of the invasion of Iraq that will be popular with his countrymen other than retreat, President Bush is reviled; he has become another victim of Democracy.

By elevating popular fancy over truth, Democracy is clearly an enemy of not just truth, but duty and justice, which makes it the worst form of government. President Bush must overcome not just the situation in Iraq, but democratic government.

However, President Bush has a valuable historical example that he could choose to follow.

When the ancient Roman general Julius Caesar was struggling to conquer ancient Gaul, he not only had to defeat the Gauls, but he also had to defeat his political enemies in Rome who would destroy him the moment his tenure as consul (president) ended.

Caesar pacified Gaul by mass slaughter; he then used his successful army to crush all political opposition at home and establish himself as permanent ruler of ancient Rome. This brilliant action not only ended the personal threat to Caesar, but ended the civil chaos that was threatening anarchy in ancient Rome – thus marking the start of the ancient Roman Empire that gave peace and prosperity to the known world.

If President Bush copied Julius Caesar by ordering his army to empty Iraq of Arabs and repopulate the country with Americans, he would achieve immediate results: popularity with his military; enrichment of America by converting an Arabian Iraq into an American Iraq (therefore turning it from a liability to an asset); and boost American prestiege while terrifying American enemies.

He could then follow Caesar's example and use his newfound popularity with the military to wield military power to become the first permanent president of America, and end the civil chaos caused by the continually squabbling Congress and the out-of-control Supreme Court.

President Bush can fail in his duty to himself, his country, and his God, by becoming “ex-president” Bush or he can become “President-for-Life” Bush: the conqueror of Iraq, who brings sense to the Congress and sanity to the Supreme Court. Then who would be able to stop Bush from emulating Augustus Caesar and becoming ruler of the world? For only an America united under one ruler has the power to save humanity from the threat of a new Dark Age wrought by terrorists armed with nuclear weapons.

# #
FamilySecurityMatters.org Contributing Editor Philip Atkinson is the British born founder of ourcivilisation.com and author of A Study of Our Decline. He is a philosopher specializing in issues concerning the preservation of Western civilization.[/quote]

I hear work has already begun on President-For-Life Bush's 3rd inauguration. First on the agenda is upgrading the motorcade to deal with protestors, check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/v/dPlwQWDZYf4

On Sarcasm:

We just looooove sarcasm here. Oh yeah. Sarcasm. We just love it. We just can't get enough sarcasm. Ever. Did I mention how much we love sarcasm? Sarcasm is great. Sarcasm makes the world go round. Aaaaaaaw yeeaaaahh gimme more sarcasm. Sarcasm rools, dewd.


On My Favorite Bible Verse:

Genesis 4:15

Genesis Chapter 4

15 And the LORD said unto him, Therefore whosoever slayeth Cain, vengeance shall be taken on him sevenfold. And the LORD set a mark upon Cain, lest any finding him should kill him.

16 And Cain went out from the presence of the LORD, and dwelt in the land of Nod, on the east of Eden.

17 And Cain knew his wife; and she conceived, and bare Enoch: and he builded a city

God decides to proclaim that killing is wrong by killing anyone who kills a killer....Supporting the death penalty for supporting the death penalty...

It has what heathens would call a "zen" quality.