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Default Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-21-2007, 05:46 PM

Yesterday I was compelled to rifle through my daughter's dresser drawers--the Holy Spirit surely guided me--and I made a revolting discovery. She was in possession of a book entitled The Complete Kama Sutra. I presumed it to be an Indian recipe book. Upon thumbing through its pages, I was assaulted by something even more sickening than Indian cuisine--Indian coitus.

Apparently, those dark-skinned, foul-smelling heathens have invented a multitude of ways to copulate. Observe the following picture:



I have stretched my imagination to the limit, and I still cannot comprehend how these two can be engaging in intercourse. Shockingly, this picture was among the more reasonable in the book. The Indians are a vile--albeit limber--race. They are obviously in cahoots with Satan to be capable of such contortion.

Naturally I beat my daughter for being in possession of a book that is more than likely the brainchild of Satan himself.

"What I do in my bedroom is my business, " she screamed. "I'm a married lady."

"No. You're a married trollop," I retorted. "A married lady lies on her back, with her legs spread at no more than a seventy degree angle, to receive her good husband's member for the purpose of creating more Christians."

Gentlemen, don't allow your wives to persuade you to "spice things up between the sheets." Here is a list of acceptable positions:

1. Missionary

Praise Jesus.
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGE CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-21-2007, 06:57 PM

I sincerely hope the ladies are staying out of this thread. Gentlemen, this picture fills me with righteous indignation:



The depraved Indian man is actually creating a new orifice with his filthy tallywacker, as if other apertures can no longer quell his lust. Insatiable beast!
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-21-2007, 07:40 PM

that woman is a man! LOOK AT THAT MOUSTACHE!!!!!
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-21-2007, 07:56 PM

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Originally Posted by TORTURED MIDGET CUM View Post
that woman is a man! LOOK AT THAT MOUSTACHE!!!!!
That may be a man; however, many Indian women are mustachioed, so it is difficult to ascertain. What is certain is that you are a childish imbecile. Do you expect anyone here to view you as anything other than a cretin when you have such a sophomoric name? I advise you to choose your next words carefully.
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-21-2007, 09:41 PM

It should be no suprise to anyone that a bunch of pagans would recommend using non-missionary positions. Next thing, we men will be expected to care about our wives sexual needs-what blasphemy.
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-21-2007, 11:50 PM

Hinduism has a whole passle of gods, so I suppose it's not surprising that Hindus use a whole passle of positions.

Excess taken to excess, I call it.

This is the kind of thing they have in their churches:



Can you imagine looking up from your devotions and seeing, instead of the Hung Savior, four people doing something that would make King Solomon blush?

But as for them whose heart walketh after the heart of their detestable things and their abominations, I will recompense their way upon their own heads, saith the Lord GOD. Ezekiel 7:21


Disgusting.

~~ OEJ

Last edited by One-eyed Jack; 12-21-2007 at 11:53 PM. Reason: Forgot Bible quote.
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-23-2007, 11:26 AM

Brother, I was with you giving your harlot of a daughter a sound Godly beating for possessing an injun cookbook! What possible use would any Christian have for such a tome?

Of course it turned out to be much worse. You may want to send her over to my residence after Sunday services Brother Hatchet. I'd like to get something straight with her.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-23-2007, 11:42 AM

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Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
I have stretched my imagination to the limit, and I still cannot comprehend how these two can be engaging in intercourse. Shockingly, this picture was among the most reasonable in the book. The Indians are a vile--albeit limber--race. They are obviously in cahoots with Satan to be capable of such contortion.
Considering that the illustration is right in front of you, I don't see how it's so hard to 'imagine'.

What's more, how is your daughter's sex life any of your concern? As she said, she's a married lady. Even you shouldn't have a problem with that.



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-23-2007, 03:23 PM

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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Considering that the illustration is right in front of you, I don't see how it's so hard to 'imagine'.

What's more, how is your daughter's sex life any of your concern? As she said, she's a married lady. Even you shouldn't have a problem with that.


I literally cannot make heads or tails of this drawing. I don't know where one putrid Indian begins and the other ends. It looks like a disgusting, unsavory pile of human flesh. Unlike you, I am not accustomed to viewing pornography. NEVER question anything I write again, harlot. And my daughter's sex life IS my business. As my daughter, she is my responsibility. I will thrash her again without hesitation if she so much as applies too much eye liner. Any woman should be so lucky to have a loving and caring father like me.
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-23-2007, 06:45 PM

Holy Jesus.
This thread makes me want to puke on my boots. There is no way that book would be near my house! Brother Hatchet I hope she is still wearing red welts on her tender backside for dishonoring herself and her family with that filthy sex manual.
The more I look at those images, the more I understand that Hindus must have extra orifices that proper white folks don't have. A second hole above the regular rear fecal opening. This must be where Satan ripped them a new one for worshiping elephants and spider women.


God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-23-2007, 08:54 PM

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Originally Posted by Marshall View Post
The more I look at those images, the more I understand that Hindus must have extra orifices that proper white folks don't have. A second hole above the regular rear fecal opening. This must be where Satan ripped them a new one for worshiping elephants and spider women.
Excellent point, good Brother Marshall, and wholly possible. After all, it is a fact that female Orientals have sideways cooters. Who knows what other kinds of unholy anomalies exist among non-whites? I praise Jesus for my northern European heritage and completely normal private parts.

Last edited by Old Man Hatchet; 12-23-2007 at 09:56 PM.
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-23-2007, 10:32 PM

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Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
Excellent point, good Brother Marshall, and it is a fact that female Orientals have sideways cooters.
Erm....no they don't.

I like this thread, it's clearly for dirty old christian men to pretend they're outraged by different sexual positions, whilst all the while beating off and wishing their wives would let them try something half as decent.
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-23-2007, 11:16 PM

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Originally Posted by Jack Flash View Post
Erm....no they don't.

I like this thread, it's clearly for dirty old christian men to pretend they're outraged by different sexual positions, whilst all the while beating off and wishing their wives would let them try something half as decent.
Since my wife has gone through menopause and can longer produce Christian offspring for me, I no longer have sex with her. Your lurid suggestion is way off the mark and has been reported to the Department of Faith.

The only "kinky" thing the wife and I ever did in the bedroom was enage in threesomes--Jesus having been the third party. Jesus comes with me, young man, wherever I go. Can you say the same?

And Oriental women do have sideways cooters. Try not to rely on hearsay and conjecture. They won't help you win any arguments on this board.
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGE CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-24-2007, 02:36 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
I sincerely hope the ladies are staying out of this thread. Gentlemen, this picture fills me with righteous indignation:



The depraved Indian man is actually creating a new orifice with his filthy tallywacker, as if other apertures can no longer quell his lust. Insatiable beast!
Obviously the first homer porn shot in India. They do like there little boys over there.
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WilliamJenningsBryan WilliamJenningsBryan is offline
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 12-24-2007, 05:48 AM

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Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
Considering that the illustration is right in front of you, I don't see how it's so hard to 'imagine'.

What's more, how is your daughter's sex life any of your concern? As she said, she's a married lady. Even you shouldn't have a problem with that.

Excuse me Van Hellywhacker, but those strap-on brooms don't count here - this is a MEN ONLY forum. I'm sure those images of mangled human flesh remind you of what you cook up in your stock pot, but it is time for you to leave.


Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 01-02-2008, 02:28 AM

It disgusts me the way those Indians try and hide their pornography behind false names like "Sama Kutra..." They're all half-demons.
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGE CONTAINED WITHIN) - 01-02-2008, 11:51 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post
I sincerely hope the ladies are staying out of this thread. Gentlemen, this picture fills me with righteous indignation:



!
Hmm *grunt* grog must sit. He is excited.Grog think Mrs. grog like too. Grog will try in 5 minutes but Grog must finish business with (Vile Link Removed) first. Grog really happy. oh grog forget, Man Hachet, grog think you be full of pencil led or pencil lead full at picture. Grog not sure. Grog read history. Grog red yes. History.Read. history good. Read. Kamasutraaas longer then that jesus mans.

Last edited by WilliamJenningsBryan; 01-03-2008 at 12:28 AM. Reason: Vile un-Christian link removed
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 01-10-2008, 03:16 AM

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Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Of course it turned out to be much worse. You may want to send her over to my residence after Sunday services Brother Hatchet. I'd like to get something straight with her.
Seeing as she is a married lady, You should refrain from trying to "get something straight with her". I wouldnt trust you not to get your manhood straight with her and attempt rectification therapy to get the humanity out of her because, well in essence, what was "God"'s greatest gift to humanity? Well the answer my son is this, the FREEDOM to CHOOSE. By attempting to control her choices you are taking away "God"'s greatest gift from her, which is a right reserved for only the highest choir of angels and "God" itself. ("God" is an "it" by the way, giving it a sex only presumes knowledge unattainable as "God" is an omniscient existence known and understood only by its existence)


My Fav Passage? Why Romans 1: 18-32 ofcourse!
"18The wrath of God is being revealed from heaven against all the godlessness and wickedness of men who suppress the truth by their wickedness, 19since what may be known about God is plain to them, because God has made it plain to them." It goes on to explain that this passage is not about gays, and that they wont burn in hell.
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 01-14-2008, 10:25 PM

im sorry, these positions, they just rock
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Default Re: Kama Sutra (WARNING: GRAPHIC IMAGES CONTAINED WITHIN) - 01-14-2008, 11:20 PM

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Originally Posted by Old Man Hatchet View Post


I literally cannot make heads or tails of this drawing. I don't know where one putrid Indian begins and the other ends. It looks like a disgusting, unsavory pile of human flesh. Unlike you, I am not accustomed to viewing pornography. NEVER question anything I write again, harlot. And my daughter's sex life IS my business. As my daughter, she is my responsibility. I will thrash her again without hesitation if she so much as applies too much eye liner. Any woman should be so lucky to have a loving and caring father like me.
If you cannot even make sense of this drawing, I apologise dearly but I will have to consider all of your opinions void. Clearly, the woman is sitting atop the man's penis, lowering herself onto it. Although, understandably, the vagina appears to be at the back, It is simply a bad drawing.
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