Go Back   The Landover Baptist Church Forum > Landover Today! > Pastor Zeke's News Wire
Reload this Page News From The Resistance
Pastor Zeke's News Wire Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
(#21)
Old
Thomas Taylor's Avatar
Thomas Taylor Thomas Taylor is offline
Forum Member
Forum Member

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Christian Love Touched by Jesus One Year/1000 posts A for Effort

 
Posts: 1,485
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Reaping Bountifully
Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.Thomas Taylor is veritably a saint destined for a place in Heaven near Jesus' right hand.
Default Re: News From The Resistance - 05-28-2017, 07:03 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Helper View Post
Correction, "Gods favorite people" looked over at Africa and said:

"Hey look, it's God's children. They look happy. We should go over there, murder millions of them, put the rest in ships, and use them as slaves!"

And finally, we started listening to God saying "Let my children go" and did it.
Yet there are still racists who object.

Dear Helper,

I think you've got it wrong. The nigras were indentured by their families at home to rich Americans so that the poor starving masses left behind could eat. The rich Americans actually paid their employee's salaries up front to their families. They then provided free transport, accommodation, education, clothes and food for the rest of the employee's life.

Now tell me, how is this slavery? I think it's a pretty sweet deal.

YIC
TT


Isaiah 66:15

For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.
Reply With Quote
(#22)
Old
I Man Rastafari's Avatar
I Man Rastafari I Man Rastafari is offline
Possibly retarded pothead
 

Caution - Poster is on Drugs Negroe Poster Pot Head Thieving Nigra Rapist Caution - Poster is on Drugs Stalker Caution - Poster is Crazy Baggie Democrat Jafaican One Year/1000 posts

 
Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: News From The Resistance - 06-01-2017, 03:24 PM

I wish to announce that the Student Coordinating Committee For People Of Color at my school which is Georgetown University has declared that this Sunday will be observed as a Day Without White People for our university. Other universities around Babylon have held such days and found them to be healing and uplifting. I would like to ask for the assistance of all white people in America. We are asking that one hundred million white people in America demonstrate their support for our just cause by not coming to Georgetown University this Sunday. Our school is located in the capital of America which is Washington DC and we feel it is appropriate that we have the largest group of white people ever to not go somewhere in order to demonstrate the support of the people for our demands.

Thank you for your support.
Jah Guide!
Trevor


Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
Reply With Quote
(#23)
Old
Roland's Avatar
Roland Roland is offline
Obese Swedish Meatball
Delusional Forum Member
 

Nutjob Meatball Worshiper Beastiality Hellbound Heathen Bleeding heart liebral Eurotrash Glutton Condemned Reaper Frenchie Barney Spaghettarian Piratefish Grammar Nazi Drunk Numbers Nazi Perv Stalker Panda Sinner Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars One Year/1000 posts Probing for Jesus Chili Chemtrail Confused about midget porn

 
Posts: 2,207
Join Date: May 2014
Location: On a mountain with a tree and a midgit
Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.Roland is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: News From The Resistance - 06-01-2017, 04:21 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
I wish to announce that the Student Coordinating Committee For People Of Color at my school which is Georgetown University has declared that this Sunday will be observed as a Day Without White People for our university. Other universities around Babylon have held such days and found them to be healing and uplifting. I would like to ask for the assistance of all white people in America. We are asking that one hundred million white people in America demonstrate their support for our just cause by not coming to Georgetown University this Sunday. Our school is located in the capital of America which is Washington DC and we feel it is appropriate that we have the largest group of white people ever to not go somewhere in order to demonstrate the support of the people for our demands.

Thank you for your support.
Jah Guide!
Trevor
Hello Trevor,

The only way I can support your snow flake day is similar to the other ¨one hundred million white people¨, by not showing up. I do denounce your racism though.

Kind regards, Roland

ps. Do you really think people not showing up is an argument?


Jeremiah 6:21 Therefore thus saith the LORD, Behold, I will lay stumblingblocks before this people, and the fathers and the sons together shall fall upon them; the neighbour and his friend shall perish.

Best wishes for the people in Ukraine.
Reply With Quote
(#24)
Old
Elmer G. White's Avatar
Elmer G. White Elmer G. White is offline
Distinguished Professor of Prayer Healing and Creation Zoology (Baraminology)
Victim of atheist scientific persecution
 

Protected by JESUS Heaven Bound Friend of Jesus Christian Love True Christian™ Touched by Jesus Persecuted Honorary Ex-Eskimo Ex-Scandinavian Ex-eurotrash True Scientist™ 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Doctor Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture Flat Earth Prayer Warrior Ex-Masturbator Tell her once True Christian Caucasian Real American™ Porn Resistant The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking One Year/1000 posts 2014 Witch Hunt Award Mower Mission to Korea Uber Angels Driver Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Mission to Messico Saved 1 Year Platinum Tither Eats the Most Pork True Heterosexual™ 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Crown of Glory BFF of Jesus Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Alternative Facts True Christian Nerd GLORY Saved 5 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Get Behind Me Doctor - NO TEAM FORTRESS! Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor

 
Posts: 10,337
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: On a mission in Godless Europistan
Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Elmer G. White will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Messican Re: News From The Resistance - 06-01-2017, 04:43 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Roland View Post
Hello Trevor,

The only way I can support your snow flake day is similar to the other ¨one hundred million white people¨, by not showing up. I do denounce your racism though.

Kind regards, Roland

ps. Do you really think people not showing up is an argument?
Mr. Roland of the Spaghetti Cult,

I am not sure if it is reassuring that your logic surpasses that of a Haile Selassie Worshiper. I must still agree with you, support by not engaging is quite similar to a hobby of not collecting stamps. Still, sometimes it is not ungodly to abstain.

Ecclesiastes 3:5
A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

However, I'm considering stamp collecting because of glorious specimens such as the one below.




Yours in Christ,

Elmer


2 Kings 18:25 - Am I now come up without the LORD against this place to destroy it? The LORD said to me, Go up against this land, and destroy it.



PREPARE YOURSELF TO RAPTURE WITH THIS MANUAL!
Check out our Research in Creation Science:
Reply With Quote
(#25)
Old
I Man Rastafari's Avatar
I Man Rastafari I Man Rastafari is offline
Possibly retarded pothead
 

Caution - Poster is on Drugs Negroe Poster Pot Head Thieving Nigra Rapist Caution - Poster is on Drugs Stalker Caution - Poster is Crazy Baggie Democrat Jafaican One Year/1000 posts

 
Posts: 1,003
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: Here in Babylon
I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.I Man Rastafari is a sinner who has rejected Christ and tithing to Landover and is on the fast bus to Aeternal Damnation.
Default Re: News From The Resistance - 06-01-2017, 05:08 PM

I must reject these claims of racism because it is not possible for Black men to be racist against white people. Any activity which may be seen as racist is merely a response to centuries of white racism against POC. Black people are not racist at all because they are very open minded and accepting of everyone even if they are white people.

Our speakers on Sunday are not completely confirmed. We have invited Rachel Dolezal who is a trans Black woman and also Senator Elizabeth Warren who is a Native American woman but this is very short notice for such important dignitaries and it is uncertain whether they will be able to attend.

Again I wish to extend our invitation to all white people to not come to this important cultural event.


Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: Extol him that rideth upon the heavens By his name JAH, and rejoice before him.-Psalms 68:4
Reply With Quote
(#26)
Old
Joanna Lytton-Vasey's Avatar
Joanna Lytton-Vasey Joanna Lytton-Vasey is offline
True Christian™ Lady Extraordinaire, an Honorary Male Biblicist
 

Christian Love Heaven Bound Most Obedient True Christian Lady True Christian™ Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Kirk Cameron Fan Club Touched by Jesus Quiverful Cleanest Kitchen Mother of 2 boys or 5 girls One Year/1000 posts The Hatchet Child Rearing Award Hatchet Child Rearing Award Ex-Brit Trump of GOD Roper Crossburn Grammar Nazi Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Mission to Messico Hands Off Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award In Love With Zeke Pro-Life Ex-eurotrash Persecuted Stamp of Approval Mower Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Crown of Incorruptibility God's chosen ones Anti-Biden True Christian Beauty Midget porn survivor Crown of Rejoicing

 
Posts: 8,776
Join Date: Jul 2014
Location: Surrounded by heathens
Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Joanna Lytton-Vasey will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: News From The Resistance - 06-01-2017, 05:19 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
We are asking that one hundred million white people in America demonstrate their support for our just cause by not coming to Georgetown University this Sunday.
Trevor, I'm sure that nobody from Landover would dream of turning up as everyone will be in church. In that sense, you have our full support (apart from the racism, so typical of the demoncrats) and you can count us among the 100 million who will be proud not to attend. But at the last count there were about 197 million white people in America - excluding "Hispaniards" as the Mexicans call themselves. What about the other 97 million (approximately) white people in America? As they have not been uninvited, are you expecting them to join you? If so, you may need to alert the caterers.

I wish you a lovely day in any case.
YiC
Joanna


Vaccinated by the love of Jesus!!!
Reply With Quote
(#27)
Old
Mister Brasil's Avatar
Mister Brasil Mister Brasil is offline
True Christian™
True Christian™

True Christian™ Christian Love Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS Ready for the Rapture Friend of Jesus Porn Resistant Super Soaker Baptism Award Teabag Patriot Eats the Most Pork 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College Saved 5 Years Cup of Jesus Persecuted Trump of GOD Asked questions later

 
Posts: 518
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Tacoma, Washington
Mister Brasil has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMister Brasil has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMister Brasil has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMister Brasil has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMister Brasil has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMister Brasil has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMister Brasil has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMister Brasil has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMister Brasil has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMister Brasil has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious RaptureMister Brasil has discarded the shackles of sin and is ready to participate in the Glorious Rapture
Default Re: News From The Resistance - 06-01-2017, 05:22 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
I wish to announce that the Student Coordinating Committee For People Of Color at my school which is Georgetown University has declared that this Sunday will be observed as a Day Without White People for our university.
I am so glad that coloreds are learning from the Day without Women march. I feel as if I learned so much by microwaving my own frozen burrito on March 8th.

I hope that Georgetown university will, likewise, learn how important white people are to the functioning of any university, by spending a day without.

Unless it's just a criminal ploy to keep all the administrators at home so those FAFSA welfare queens can loot the place.
Reply With Quote
(#28)
Old
Basilissa's Avatar
Basilissa Basilissa is offline
South of the Border outreach program
True Christian™
 

Friend of Jesus Ready for the Rapture True Christian™ Real American™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian Flat Earth Persecuted Prayer Warrior Kirk Cameron Fan Club Bronze Tither Paula Deen Negro Support Group One Year/1000 posts Touched by Jesus In Love With Zeke TC Bravery 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Christian Love Mower Roper Crossburn Guns, Guts and GLORY! Mission to Korea True Christian Lady Ex-eurotrash Landover Mission to The Mexican Realms Trump of GOD Donald Trump 2016! Trumpette Saved 1 Year 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Cup of Jesus Crown of Righteousness Crown of Incorruptibility BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 5 Years Glory GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Polling for Christ Anti-Biden Midget porn survivor Saved from Communism

 
Posts: 13,156
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Godly Midwest
Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!Basilissa will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: News From The Resistance - 06-02-2017, 01:18 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by I Man Rastafari View Post
We are asking that one hundred million white people in America demonstrate their support for our just cause by not coming to Georgetown University this Sunday.
Oh dear, you've got it all wrong! White people are what keeps this country functioning. If you leave black people in charge of your university, even just for a single day, one or more of these will most certainly occur in your area:

1) An asteroid or a comet will hit.
2) A nuclear reactor will explode.
3) The whole area will be nuked.
4) There will be chaos on the streets, including plundering of stores and houses, raping of women, and murders on every corner.
5) There will be a tornado made of sharks.
6) There will be some other natural disaster, ranging from earthquakes through floods to hurricanes.

Have you ever seen any of these things occurring in areas governed by white people? Exactly. None. Zip, zilch, nada. White people in charge, and black people in subservient roles, that's the natural order of the world. Here are some Hollywood examples of what happens when a black man is allowed to rule. If that ain't proof then I don't know what is.

While I cannot be at the campus of your university that day (being in proximity of black people makes me uncomfortable), I pray that there will be strong white men who will sacrifice themselves for the benefit of humanity and invade your campus on the day of your white-no-show event.
Reply With Quote
(#29)
Old
handmaiden's Avatar
handmaiden handmaiden is offline
Is a good, decent True Christian™ lady
True Christian™

Ex-Mary Worshipper True Christian™ Heaven Bound Protected by JESUS True Christian Caucasian True Christian Lady True Heterosexual™ Cleanest Kitchen Best Pie Best stoning bucket Bronze Tither Friend of Jesus Flat Earth Most Obedient One Year/1000 posts True Republican Super Soaker Baptism Award Eats the Most Pork Ready for the Rapture Persecuted Christian Love Grammar Nazi Trump of GOD Kirk Cameron Fan Club Prayer Warrior Teabag Patriot Trumpette Saved 5 Years Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Guns, Guts and GLORY! Alternative Facts Asked questions later Babysitter Marshmallow GLORY Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Team Fortress Rebuker Extraordinaire Saved 10 Years Polling for Christ Anti-Biden True Christian Beauty Chocolate Midget porn survivor Crown of Rejoicing

 
Posts: 11,354
Join Date: May 2010
Location: 39.373117/-76.472688
handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!handmaiden will sit at the right hand of Jesus Himself come the Glory!
Default Re: News From The Resistance - 06-02-2017, 02:11 AM

I actually live close to D.C. But I am willing to take a bus or whatever to get even further away for the occasion. Would that help?


His left hand should be under my head, and his right hand should embrace me.

Guns For God and the Economy
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Find Additional Forums Here



Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved