The Freehold Truth and Light Baptist newspaper Featured editorials, letters to the GODLY Pastors of Landover, local news, advise columns. |
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,174
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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No Chicken Coops Freehold -
08-23-2012, 02:14 PM
My Mayor friends across the country have been talking to me about their "chicken problems". Liberal and old hippies are lobbying several cities to allow chicken coops in backyards.
One with the problem just now is Mayor Voxland up in northwest Minnesota. He tells me all he needs is one more thing for neighbors to complain about. First, it was lawns cluttered with "native plants", and now chicken coops.
People need to know God wants eggs and chicken for frying to come from large factory farms. They are the result of captialism, the system given us by the Almighty.
I will not allow this great principle to be violated in Freehold.
Johney Joe Hold, Mayor
http://www.inforum.com/event/article/id/371856/
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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True Christian™ Just a Regular Nice Guy
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Posts: 29,835
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Between Lynchburg and Walton's Mountain
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Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold -
08-23-2012, 02:55 PM
I do not keep chickens in my chicken coop. I have converted it into sleeping quarters for the help by spreading news print on the floor, installing a hanging light bulb and a defecation bucket in the corner. I assume that it is now a 'multi-unrelated personal residence' it would be exempt from the new regulations, correct?
Isaiah 45:7 I form the light, and create darkness: I make peace, and create evil: I the LORD do all these things.
Amos 3:6 Shall a trumpet be blown in the city, and the people not be afraid? shall there be evil in a city, and the LORD hath not done it?
Numbers 21:6 And the LORD sent fiery serpents among the people, and they bit the people; and much people of Israel died.
Matthew 10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
Matthew 10:35 For I am come to set a man at variance against his father, and the daughter against her mother, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.
Matthew 10:36 And a man's foes shall be they of his own household.
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Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58 Christ's Guardian
True Christian™
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Posts: 23,743
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Mostly on the front porch.
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Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold -
08-23-2012, 06:29 PM
My neighbors have chickens and it's a problem that still needs to be addressed.
May you be a blessing to every life you touch.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold -
08-23-2012, 07:47 PM
My concern is that slutty chickens will tempt men into raping them. Since marrying a chicken violates Old Testament laws forbidding bestiality, this could present a problem for a chicken rapist wishing to atone for his misdeed.
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Descended from Rapes
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,548
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold Bible Campground and RV Park.
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Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold -
08-23-2012, 08:21 PM
Back when I was in my twenties I worked in a garage with several young men who grew up in rural areas of Brazil. The boys used to talk about their first sexual experiences and since they were latino, catlickers, and Brazilian all of them did it first with animals. One boy had sex first with a dog, and later several chickens. When asked if the dog tried to get away he answered "no, the dog seemed to like it." when asked about the chickens his answer was "with the chickens, it is rape."
I ask you, why would someone want to tempt their young boys durring their most impressionable years with the sluttiest of poultry? Not to mention the Brazillian perverts it would attract to the town.
Mayor Hold, you have got to put a stop to this now.
Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
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Posts: 14,178
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: With my nose stuck in the Bible.
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Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold -
08-23-2012, 08:34 PM
Are you sure you want to ban all chicken coops, mayor? A couple of us have been know to breed guard roosters for our property. We put spurs on their feet and turn them loose in large penned in areas.
I remember you saying how much you like my wife's fried chicken after church the other day.
I know they're a little bit noisy in the mornings, but it's good for everyone for in a three mile radius to wake up when it's time to.
Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
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Family Man of the Year 2010-2013 About as Straight and Manly as you can get Hates anal sex. And trees.
True Christian™
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Posts: 8,323
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Protecting my children from homosexuals
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Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold -
08-23-2012, 08:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Levi Jones
We put spurs on their feet
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That could solve the problem. Maybe an anti-rape device in their egg chutes as well?
The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!
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Honorary True Christian™
Forum Member
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Posts: 13,993
Join Date: May 2008
Location: North Salem, Indiana
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Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold -
08-23-2012, 08:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Bob Jenkins
My concern is that slutty chickens will tempt men into raping them. Since marrying a chicken violates Old Testament laws forbidding bestiality, this could present a problem for a chicken rapist wishing to atone for his misdeed.
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The punishment for bestiality is execution, Brother.
For both parties involved! Don't need some human-chicken hybrid running around.
Widow Helen keeps chickens, but her chicken coop is well-camouflaged as a Chinese menstra-hut.
Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Forum Member, Repentant nigress
Forum Member
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Posts: 213
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Georgia, surrounded by Godly people
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Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold -
08-24-2012, 06:35 AM
Chickens? Where they at?
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Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
Forum Member
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Posts: 401
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Ireland, a Godless papist hellhole!
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Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold -
08-24-2012, 11:37 AM
Chickens are also responsible for spreading avian flu, this happened after some slant eye with a cold raped one of them in the Philippines around Janauary 2005. If a chicken sneezes you can catch Avian Flu, it's almost as bad as shaking hands with homer and catching the aids. The graphics below illustrate this.
Chickens being gang raped in Philippinoland notice the flu masks they all wear;
Bird flu spreading to Humans after being spread amongst other birds
Matthew 10:34
Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,364
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: No Chicken Coops Freehold -
08-24-2012, 09:08 PM
As a fur farmer and factory farmer, i highly support the exploit of animals for profit, there is abolsutely nothing wrong with it, God tells us that we should have dominion over animals, that we should dominate over the animals, what could be more dominating than exploiting them for profit? It's both a good way to make money and follow God's word. I keep my animals in as cheap and tiny cages as possible, cause who cares? They're just stupid animals!
Genesis 1:26
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.
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