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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-24-2007, 11:00 PM

I stay in shape by giggling at the misfortune of sinners.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 01:08 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
I won't be wrong. There is no heaven nor hell. You die, and your brain stops functioning. No more thought after that. Just nothing.
How do you know? Has anyone ever come back from the dead to tell you that there's nothing after death?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 01:47 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
How do you know? Has anyone ever come back from the dead to tell you that there's nothing after death?
...And do remember, Tardrone, that people has witnessed that there is a hell and a heaven after death!

And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried;
And in hell he lift up his eyes, being in torments, and seeth Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom.
And he cried and said, Father Abraham, have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue;
For I am tormented in this flame. But Abraham said, Son, remember that thou in thy lifetime receivedst thy good things, and likewise Lazarus evil things:
But now he is comforted, and thou art tormented.
Luke 16:22-23

PRAISE JESUS!


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13

Last edited by SalvationSeeker; 01-25-2007 at 01:48 AM.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 04:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker View Post
...And do remember, Tardrone, that people has witnessed that there is a hell and a heaven after death!

Unecessary scripture....

PRAISE JESUS!
Please explain to me what you just said.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 05:42 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
Unecessary scripture....
Unecessary scripture? Scripture is never unecessary! Scripture is how we learn about GOD and who and what HE wants us to be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
Please explain to me what you just said.
Actually read and think about it and you will understand.


The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 05:55 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
Please explain to me what you just said.
Friend,

If I wasn't moved by the Loving Spirit of Jesus to be a vastly better person than a piece of trash like you I would ban you for that statement! Is too much to ask you to at lest pretend to show the kind of tact and sensitivity we have you filthy jerk.



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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 06:29 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
Please explain to me what you just said.
I'll explain something to you, lad. You hellbound trash keep barging into God's favorite discussion forums on the interwebs, demanding that we prove what we believe. Then, when we give you proof, right out of the Holy King James Bible, you brush it off as "unnecessary Scripture." You simply cannot have it both ways.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 08:04 PM

It was a document written over 2,000 years ago and translated in 1611. My personal belief is that a document written just about 400 years ago doesn't apply to today's social standards. You can always use scripture as your little shield, but that is not proof to me. Proof to me would be you telling me you prayed to God, asking him to set my house on fire, and that actually happened. That would be solid proof to me...
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 08:05 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobby-Joe View Post
Friend,

If I wasn't moved by the Loving Spirit of Jesus to be a vastly better person than a piece of trash like you I would ban you for that statement! Is too much to ask you to at lest pretend to show the kind of tact and sensitivity we have you filthy jerk.
What? I didn't understand what he said. I thought he said that people have proved that there is a heaven and hell, which would be a ridiculous statement.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 08:38 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
My personal belief is that a document written just about 400 years ago doesn't apply to today's social standards.
Friend, are you familiar with the Magna Carta?

Quote:
Magna Carta (Latin for "Great Charter", literally "Great Paper"), also called Magna Carta Libertatum ("Great Charter of Freedoms"), is an English charter originally issued in 1215. Magna Carta was the most significant early influence on the long historical process that led to the rule of constitutional law today. Magna Carta influenced many common law documents, such as the United States Constitution and Bill of Rights, and is considered one of the most important legal documents in the history of democracy.
Do you feel this nearly 800 year old document has no relevance today?

What about documents that are only 200+ years old?

Like the Bill of Rights? Declaration of Independence?

Perhaps you should reconsider the importance of OLD PAPERS?

Maybe the first one you should consider the validity of (even in today's society... nay; ESPECIALLY IN TODAY'S SOCIETY) is GOD'S HOLY WORD!

YIC
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 08:40 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
What? I didn't understand what he said. I thought he said that people have proved that there is a heaven and hell, which would be a ridiculous statement.

Ridiculious statement?????? Why, alljkfunghsnugglebunnyjjwegrrrrr



What do you freaking want from God?? A written invitation??? Oh that's right, it is called The Bible!!!! What more proof do youwant??????



Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.

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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 08:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
It was a document written over 2,000 years ago and translated in 1611. My personal belief is that a document written just about 400 years ago doesn't apply to today's social standards. You can always use scripture as your little shield, but that is not proof to me. Proof to me would be you telling me you prayed to God, asking him to set my house on fire, and that actually happened. That would be solid proof to me...
That would be anecdotal evidence. From what you say above, you consider anecdotal evidence (me telling you I did something) proof.

God decides whom God afflicts, not us.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
What? I didn't understand what he said. I thought he said that people have proved that there is a heaven and hell, which would be a ridiculous statement.
He demonstrated how, in the Bible, the existence of heaven and hell is documented by Lazarus, Abraham, and the scornful rich man. Anecdotal evidence, which to you is proof.

To us it's proof because it's anecdotal evidence in God's Word. But to you, as you stated above, it's proof if somebody says it's true.

I was outside today, and I saw a pterodactyl land on the water tower. Then it flew away, after swooping down and stealing a VW Beetle.

Anecdotal evidence. Are there pterodactyls stealing cars in Salem? Maybe.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 08:54 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Oh. So you are gay then?
No.


Quote:
Soccer is a well-known homer sport. The proof is
Quote:
HERE.


That's no proof, that's funny video made by amateurs.
And I can't hear him saying that he is gay.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-25-2007, 09:17 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
It was a document written over 2,000 years ago and translated in 1611. My personal belief is that a document written just about 400 years ago doesn't apply to today's social standards. You can always use scripture as your little shield, but that is not proof to me. Proof to me would be you telling me you prayed to God, asking him to set my house on fire, and that actually happened. That would be solid proof to me...
The Word of God is older than any man.
It has only been available to men, in correct version, since 1611.
But the Word itself is older than the Earth, so I think it is time you start respecting it.
If you disrespect the Word, you disrespect God because the Word is God, and God is the Word.
Understand?

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.
John 1:1


If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-26-2007, 01:17 AM

How do you know there weren't any mistakes in translating the original versions? How do you know that King James did not have his scribes edit out the parts he felt were not "holy?" Exactly, you don't. I'm not saying I know, but you have no solid proof that the King James Bible is 100% accurate.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-26-2007, 01:27 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
How do you know there weren't any mistakes in translating the original versions? How do you know that King James did not have his scribes edit out the parts he felt were not "holy?" Exactly, you don't. I'm not saying I know, but you have no solid proof that the King James Bible is 100% accurate.
We know because the KJV1611 was not mearly translated, GOD directed its writing. King James' scribes were mearly human pens used by GOD to write the King James Version of 1611. This makes it GOD's Perfect Word.


The Big-Bang: GOD spoke and, BANG, the universe was formed.
Genesis 1:1 - In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

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Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.Tyrone Shoelaces is a sinner who is given over to unnatural affections and blasphemy, and whose chances of Salvation© are limited.
Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-26-2007, 01:31 AM

Right, right...I forgot about that.
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-26-2007, 03:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
How do you know there weren't any mistakes in translating the original versions? How do you know that King James did not have his scribes edit out the parts he felt were not "holy?" Exactly, you don't. I'm not saying I know, but you have no solid proof that the King James Bible is 100% accurate.
Do you believe that God keeps His promises, or don't you?

Psalm 12:6-7: The words of the LORD [are] pure words: [as] silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times. Thou shalt keep them, O LORD, thou shalt preserve them from this generation for ever.

If you believe that God keeps His promises, then you must believe that there is a version of the words of the Lord that He has preserved from the Psalmist's generation forever. That version, naturally, is the King James Bible. If you believe otherwise, then not only have you called Almighty God a liar, but you've also deprived yourself of any basis for believing anything at all.


This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

Questions to ask liberal "Christians"Things that the Bible doesn't sayTolerance

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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-26-2007, 03:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
How do you know that King James did not have his scribes edit out the parts he felt were not "holy?" Exactly, you don't. I'm not saying I know, but you have no solid proof that the King James Bible is 100% accurate.
Actually, the only the only "editing" done to original doctrine was at the
Council of Nicaea in 325AD. I'll even add a link for you http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_Council_of_Nicaea. During this council, they decided what would be used and what would not in official church doctrine.


"If thou buy an Hebrew servant, six years he shall serve: and in the seventh he shall go out free for nothing. . . . And if a man sell his daughter to be a maidservant, she shall not go out as the manservant's do."
(Leviticus 21:6-7)
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Default Re: Staying in shape - 01-26-2007, 03:33 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tyrone Shoelaces View Post
How do you know there weren't any mistakes in translating the original versions? How do you know that King James did not have his scribes edit out the parts he felt were not "holy?" Exactly, you don't. I'm not saying I know, but you have no solid proof that the King James Bible is 100% accurate.
I think THIS LINK will explain it all better. Its written in comic book form, so even a retard like you can understand. Praise Jesus, and thank you Brother Jack Chick.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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