Landover to the Rescue - Christian Help Forum A Christian Help Forum led by Sister Daisy Mae Johnson. Warning! Sometimes the Lord's advice is a hard pill to swallow. |
|
Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
|
|
Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
|
|
Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-07-2007, 04:30 AM
I'm sure I'm not the only person who has noticed the great increase in newbies. They leave short and insignificant posts about the most stupid things (like NASCAR, etc.) and they harass members and they're multiplying! They're trying to flood the server, I just know it! They need to be sprayed with pesticide... or... smacked with a rolled up newspaper, or something! Somebody throw a Bible at them - aim for their head! What's going to be done about these trouble-makers, these horrid little creatures, these... these... teeny-boppers!? *Hyperventilates* Can't. Stand. The. Pre-pubescent nonsense! *Trembles* They're out to get you! They're trying to take over!!! *Rocks back and forth* Somebody help... *Faints*
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
|
|
True Christian™ Theologian
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 3,979
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-07-2007, 04:35 AM
Have no fear, you of little faith.
The Lord will protect His own.
Nor do we to fear these maggots that crawled out of some demons intestines.
You should concentrate on getting Saved, if you want your stay here to be a pleasant one.
Since Jesus could decide to kill you ANY SECOND, you better get Saved as soon as possible.
If thou be wise, thou shalt be wise for thyself: But if thou scornest, thou alone shalt bear it.
A foolish woman is clamorous: She is simple, and knoweth nothing.
Proverbs 9:12-13
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-07-2007, 04:49 AM
If you want to help then SNAP OUT OF YOUR SISSY FAINTING SPELL and get on your knees! Open your mouth and accept the love of Jesus NOWNOWNOW! Pray HARD to Him and BEG Him to accept you and take over your miserable life. Become a warrior for Christ instead of a simpering nancyboy.
Lastly, hit the Paypal button below and send Jesus a robust love offering. Your Salvation© will be assured.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Landover Security Superviser Asset Loss Prevention and Personal Security Expert NOT angry and positively NOT Gay
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 18,555
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold Iowa
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-07-2007, 05:05 AM
So I see your staying true to your surrendor monkey French-Canadian heratige Undecided.
Time to reclaim our FREEDOM from the “Mullah in Chief” and his growing activist voter hoards of socialists, communists, anti-Semites, anti-Christians, atheists, radical gays and lesbians, feminists, illegal immigrants, Muslims, anti-Anglo whites and others.
Hot Must ReadThreads!
Time to come clean on Benghazi Mr Obama!
|
|
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
|
|
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-07-2007, 05:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
SNAP OUT OF YOUR SISSY FAINTING SPELL and get on your knees! Open your mouth and accept the love of Jesus NOWNOWNOW!
|
Good God Brother, what can you expect from a French-speaking Canuckustani woman?
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
|
|
Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
|
|
Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-08-2007, 12:51 AM
*Ignores SalvationSeeker and Booby-Joe*old :p
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Become a warrior for Christ instead of a simpering nancyboy.
|
I happen to be a woman! I have a uterus (just because it's eating itself doesn't mean it isn't there!) and ovaries, and dirty pillows and a v-word! A woman! Not a boy!
And Pastor Al, "Canukastani"??
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
|
|
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
|
|
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-08-2007, 12:54 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Undecided
And Pastor Al, "Canukastani"??
|
What? Is it spelled wrong? "Canuckistan". Is that better?
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
|
|
CASTLES DON'T HAVE PHONES
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 212
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Transsexual, Transylvania
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-08-2007, 12:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Undecided
*Ignores SalvationSeeker and Booby-Joe*old :p
I happen to be a woman! I have a uterus (just because it's eating itself doesn't mean it isn't there!) and ovaries, and dirty pillows and a v-word! A woman! Not a boy!
And Pastor Al, "Canukastani"??
|
HA! I have one of those too...come to think of it...I also have the OTHER piece of "reproductive equipment"...
Now, let's do the TIME WARP again! It's astounding...it's amazing...MADNESS takes it toll...................
"I'm just a sweet transvestite from Transsexual, Transylvania."
"Don't dream it...BE IT!"
|
|
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
|
|
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-08-2007, 01:02 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by TwinkBoy
HA! I have one of those too...come to think of it...I also have the OTHER piece of "reproductive equipment"...
Now, let's do the TIME WARP again! It's astounding...it's amazing...MADNESS takes it toll...................
|
Why aren't you dead yet, you homer?!?!?!? BOBBY-JOE, BOBBY-JOE!!!!!!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
|
|
Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
|
|
Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-08-2007, 01:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
What? Is it spelled wrong? "Canuckistan". Is that better?
|
I just don't understand... It doesn't make sense... "Canuck", okay; "Canadian", perfect; but "Canukistan", where does that come from??
Oh, and Twink, dear, you're wet... Perhaps you bettter both*.... Come inside....
*: referring to the extra organ
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
|
|
Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
|
|
Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-08-2007, 01:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Undecided
*Ignores SalvationSeeker and Booby-Joe*old :p
I happen to be a woman! I have a uterus (just because it's eating itself doesn't mean it isn't there!) and ovaries, and dirty pillows and a v-word! A woman! Not a boy!
|
Sorry, I assumed that you were a queer, judging from that faggy photo you have in your signature. And the faggy way you talk. I guess that's just normal in faggy Cannukistan.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
|
|
Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
|
|
Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-08-2007, 01:14 AM
It's actually spelled C-A-N-A-D-A. Does that help? Now don't you insult me any more or I'll spread the result of my womanly curse all over your face and contaminate you with the sinfulness of my womb! I HAVE UTERINE BLOOD AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!!
Actually that's not really very true.... I don't do "that" any more... Not since it started eating itself; good heavens does that ever hurt!!
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
|
|
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-08-2007, 02:47 AM
In my part of the country these people are called "Frostbacks". They typically are always on the verge of civil war (Parti Québécois), play too much hockey, drink beer, and end their sentences with "eh?". Projecting precious bodily fluids is a new pastime I am not familiar with.
|
|
HEATHEN — Suspected Witch
Forum Member
|
|
Posts: 5,110
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Red Peking
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-08-2007, 04:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Undecided
It's actually spelled C-A-N-A-D-A. Does that help? Now don't you insult me any more or I'll spread the result of my womanly curse all over your face and contaminate you with the sinfulness of my womb! I HAVE UTERINE BLOOD AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE IT!!
Actually that's not really very true.... I don't do "that" any more... Not since it started eating itself; good heavens does that ever hurt!!
|
Hmm, I wonder if Zeke has a similar effect on a lot of women. If so, that must be why he always hides behind his bible.
Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
|
|
Yes, THAT Brother Love!
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 403
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Wherever Jesus Needs to Save Souls!!
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-08-2007, 04:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Why aren't you dead yet, you homer?!?!?!? BOBBY-JOE, BOBBY-JOE!!!!!!
|
I'm praying that the Lord SMITE him GOOD, Brother Al. It's just a matter of time.
PRAISE THE LORD!!
Evangelist for Jesus and The Word!!
"Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves." Matthew 7:15
"Prayer should be your first resource. Not your last resort!!"
|
|
Professor of English Landover University
True Christian™
|
|
Posts: 3,501
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Ministering to the Liebral Godless of New Zealand
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-08-2007, 05:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Undecided
I just don't understand... It doesn't make sense... "Canuck", okay; "Canadian", perfect; but "Canukistan", where does that come from??
Oh, and Twink, dear, you're wet... Perhaps you bettter both*.... Come inside....
*: referring to the extra organ
|
Of course it makes sense. All countries populated by inferior races end in the suffix 'stan'. What's wrong with you, girl, haven't you been to school?
Here are a few of them from an Encyclopedia:
Afghanistan
Arabestan
Armanestan
Bulgaristan / Bulğaristan
Chinastan
Frenkistan (Sometimes called France.)
Habeşistan
Ermenistan
Englistan
Hayastán
Hindustan
Hayastan
Hırvatistan
Hunastan
Gurjistan
Kazakhstan
Khalistan
Kyrgyzstan
Lehastan
Lehistan
Macaristan
Moğolistan
Pakistan
Parsqastan
Rusastan
Sırbistan
Tajikistan
Turkmenistan
Uzbekistan
Vrastan
Yunanistan
Revelation 21:8 But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
|
|
Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
|
|
Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-09-2007, 12:48 AM
You're so ridiculous, Eno, but that's why I love you!
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
|
|
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
|
|
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-09-2007, 12:51 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Enobarbus
Of course it makes sense. All countries populated by inferior races end in the suffix 'stan'. What's wrong with you, girl, haven't you been to school?
Here are a few of them from an Encyclopedia:
Afghanistan
Arabestan
Armanestan
Bulgaristan / Bulğaristan
Chinastan
Frenkistan (Sometimes called France.)
Habeşistan
Ermenistan
Englistan
Hayastán
Hindustan
Hayastan
Hırvatistan
Hunastan
Gurjistan
Kazakhstan
Khalistan
Kyrgyzstan
Lehastan
Lehistan
Macaristan
Moğolistan
Pakistan
Parsqastan
Rusastan
Sırbistan
Tajikistan
Turkmenistan
Uzbekistan
Vrastan
Yunanistan
|
I once saw the Maharencess of Franistan on TV.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
|
|
Unsaved Canuck Who Longs to be Saved© CAUTION: Poster is Bi-Lingually curious
|
|
Posts: 1,366
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a house made of watermelons, in Canada
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-09-2007, 12:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
I once saw the Maharencess of Franistan on TV.
|
Oh? Good show, was it?
This space is reserved for posting KJV Scripture ONLY. --ADMIN
|
|
Christ's Cōnsiliārius
|
|
Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
|
|
Re: Help! We're Being Flooded! -
01-09-2007, 01:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Undecided
Oh? Good show, was it?
|
Oh yes! Lucille Ball was in it.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
|
Thread Tools |
|
Display Modes |
Linear Mode
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
Powered by Jesus - vBulletin® Version 3.8.9 Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com
Content Landover Baptist Forums © 1620, 2022 all rights reserved
|