[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

As I'm a recently converted former papist nun, I'm trying to figure out the best hemlines for a True Christian™ woman. Obviously anyone wearing a skirt with the hem above the knee is a whore, and any "woman" wearing pants is a lezbeen, but beyond that, I'm lost.
Idealy, a skirt should never reveal the ankle (the world started falling apart when ankles first started appearing in public), but I'm a slave to fashion (typical, I know!) so I need to decide what's best. An inch below the knee is far too daring for me, and it borders on slatternly anyway. I tried wearing a skirt once that came to two inches below my knee, but I blushed so hard and so long, I thought I was turning into an Injun!
So I'm thinking if one must be a modern woman, three inches below the knee is the shortest a skirt or frock must be. It still seems a little daring to me though.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Welcome Sister!

It's always so refreshing to see a new face eager to serve our LORD!

May I make the attached suggestions?

We sew these modest but delightful little numbers at our weekly LOL's (Ladies of Landover) Meeting. It's a blast!

Let me know if you would like to borrow a pattern.

GLORY!!!!!!

With Love, Sister Thumper

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

The first one is so tight, and the second shows some wrist! Could I truly be so daring? Oh, what the hey! If it's good enough for the LOLs, it's good enough for me! The second most important thing, after serving the Lord of course, is doing one's best to fit in and be like every other Saved Brother and Sister at Landover.
Praise Jesus, and thank you for the welcome!

[Star Finder]

You should only wear clothes short and flimsy enough so that your underwear is clearly visable.


.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by Star Finder

You should only wear clothes short and flimsy enough so that your underwear is clearly visable.


.

Why would you bring such disgusting filth not just into this thread, but onto this hallowed board? Besides, unless you're a woman or a True Christian ™ male keeping an eye on the women and providing gentle guidance on this issue, you shouldn't be reading a thread titled "Hemlines", even if you're a cross-dressing Sodomite.

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria

Besides, unless you're a woman or a True Christian ™ male... you shouldn't be reading a thread titled "Hemlines", even if you're a cross-dressing Sodomite.

That is exactly the problem with Star-Finder. He is neither a woman nor a True Christian™ male. He bears a permanent grudge against God for blowing his stones off, which means he can never enter into the congregation of the Lord (Deuteronomy 23:1.)

[eliot mayfield]

Poor star finder. He almost made it to Christianity, but he has relapsed back to his devil worshipping sci-fi ways.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Brother Temperance

That is exactly the problem with Star-Finder. He is neither a woman nor a True Christian™ male. He bears a permanent grudge against God for blowing his stones off, which means he can never enter into the congregation of the Lord (Deuteronomy 23:1.)

Maybe we could get him a transplant.

[Star Finder]

I already got a new set of stones boy!

With these THREE I'm now more of a man then you'll ever be.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

This is why we need a Women's Forum! How can we discuss proper modesty when there is filth like this polluting our eyes?

[eliot mayfield]

Yes, also so the men don't have to here you gals flapping your gums! Why aren't you in the kitchen making food????

[Brother Temperance]

Originally Posted by Sister Mary Maria

This is why we need a Women's Forum! How can we discuss proper modesty when there is filth like this polluting our eyes?

No, this is why abominations like Star-Finder need to be put to death. We'd see how much he likes his new stones then.

[Star Finder]

Nice Brother T, I like you too.

how would you feel if your stones were crushed and detached? How woul dyou feel if a pile of M80s were exploded under your crotch?

Maybe you would be nicer to me.

[ImBill]

This thread has caused me to lol excessively.

[Bucket]

I 2nd that notation, Star go kill you're self in the name of the Lord to gain acsess0.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Originally Posted by ImBill

This thread has caused me to lol excessively.

I'm not familiar with the hiphop gangsta vocabulary so popular with young sinners today, but if "lol" means you committed filthy onanism, we don't need to hear about it, and Jesus already knows about it and has judged you. Repent now and seek His forgiveness.

[Rev. SparkleJugs (On Moderation)]

Sister, pay no mind to these heathens. I know from my congregation that to "lol" means to "laugh out loud". It is not a filthy onanism.

You should not be on the internet alone, however. Seek your husbands guidance, and perhaps he will spare you the rod for being outside of the kitchen.

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

You are new here, so you're not familiar with my shameful history. I was until recently not only a papist, but a nun. My womb should have been bearing True Christian™ babies, but instead I was sinfully letting it go to waste!
Things have changed now though, thanks to being Saved and becoming a Baptist. However, I still need to find myself a godly husband from amongst the fine single True Christian™ men at Landover.

[Rev. SparkleJugs (On Moderation)]

I am sorry to hear that, and wish you God's blessings in finding a husband to guide you throughout life.

[OnYourKnees]

Originally Posted by Rev. SparkleJugs

I am sorry to hear that, and wish you God's blessings in finding a husband to guide you throughout life.

Reverend Snugglebunny, are you, perchance, a single Reverend?