[Johny Joe Hold]

How low can a church go to get people in the door? A Negro church gave away several cars in a raffle. Gullible Negro people streamed into the church hoping to get the keys.

At Landover Baptist we won't give you a car, but we may take your car. We want you to give it to the church so it can be auctioned off to support our pastors. Our pastors need your car more than you do.

Jesus must be having a sarcastic laugh over this one:

https://www.christianpost.com/news/m...hipers-220314/

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold

How low can a church go to get people in the door? A Negro church gave away several cars in a raffle. Gullible Negro people streamed into the church hoping to get the keys.

At Landover Baptist we won't give you a car, but we may take your car. We want you to give it to the church so it can be auctioned off to support our pastors. Our pastors need your car more than you do.

I need a new car. I might settle for a regular Rolls Royce Ghost this time.



Mayor, you know I'm modest so the interior need not be too luxurious this year. Perhaps something like this?



Oh yes, I'll pray for Jesus to smite this blasphemous Hamite church asap. IF my car arrives in time this year!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel

I need a new car. I might settle for a regular Rolls Royce Ghost this time.

Mayor, you know I'm modest so the interior need not be too luxurious this year. Perhaps something like this?

Thank you, Pastor Zeke. The modest interior will be easier to finance than something extraordinary. Now we need donations.

To Landover Baptists, remember that to admire you automobile is the same as worshiping an idol. Give it to the church.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

So many of the false religions sink into depravity and employ the sin of gambling. The cathylicks are right up there with their "Bingo Nights" - exploiting the elderly and those on fixed incomes. Some offer the excuse "but it's for a good cause" - the Bible (KJV1611) says otherwise.

Even in the days before I found Jesus I was onto this scam - it's a special tax on those with low math skills.

But they that will be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and hurtful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition.

- 1 Timothy 6:9

They said therefore among themselves, Let us not rend it, but cast lots for it, whose it shall be: that the scripture might be fulfilled, which saith, They parted my raiment among them, and for my vesture they did cast lots. These things therefore the soldiers did.

- John 19:24

[James Hutchins]

I cannot fathom for one second why a Church would take money given to support the Church and do God's work would be spent on hiring a bunch of nigra thugs to steal cars (seriously, they want us to think the jigaboos actually bought a car???).

2 Corinthians 9:7
Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.


Malachi 3:8
Will a man rob God? Yet ye have robbed me. But ye say, Wherein have we robbed thee? In tithes and offerings.

Malachi 3:10
Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the Lord of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by James Hutchins

I cannot fathom for one second why a Church would take money given to support the Church and do God's work would be spent on hiring a bunch of nigra thugs to steal cars

We know the weakness Negro men have for their long black Cadillac cars. They will join any church that offers one:

[Jim Farmer]

Utterly dishonest. They're doing it not because they're nice people (well, they aren't anyway) but with the sole mercenary aim of luring people nigras into their sham-church, so they can fleece them of their life savings.
They probably recruited that chief-whore nigra, Opera to learn how to do it. She was an expert at this deception, even managing to lure in white trash. Surely no one ever believed that she bought those cars out of her own whopping salary.

It disgusts me that even nigra churches not only pretend to believe in Jesus® but use low tactics to steal the life-savings of those they suck in.

[Bubba Buck]

While the nigra ridden church should be ashamed for using their hard earned tithes to give away cars, the congregation should be equally (if not more) ashamed for taking the cars and celebrating the fact. Negroes forget the fact that if it weren't for the white man and Jesus, they wouldn't have the right to even drive cars or buy gasoline at the gas station. My grandpappy's diary tells stories of how he took in several negroes and housed them on his plantation to live, work, and eat. I shutter to think what their lives were probably like before. Maybe that's just it though. We've given them handouts so they can survive and they think it's okay to just ask for more and more.

Peter 5:10 But the God of all grace, who hath called us unto his eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after that ye have suffered a while, make you perfect, stablish, strengthen, settle

Maybe the negroes have been too spoiled as of late. Pastor Zelda, perhaps you should introduce legislation to Trump to repossess these vehicles early? It'd happen anyway what with their inability to afford car insurance.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Bubba Buck

... Pastor Zelda, perhaps you should introduce legislation to Trump to repossess these vehicles early? It'd happen anyway what with their inability to afford car insurance.

Who the Covfefe is Pastor Zelda? Some kind of a tranny usurper?! Why have I not heard of her or him before this? Is this person trying to hijack my congregation, the Flint Mansion or - worst of all - my Filipino houseboys? Is this a conspiracy? A fairy priest?!

[Bubba Buck]

Uh oh. I meant Pastor Zeke. Perhaps it's the autocorrect. It may also be the glass of Miller High Life I had last night. My sincerest apologies. But on topic, how does the church even expect these nigras to afford car insurance?

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Originally Posted by Bubba Buck

Uh oh. I meant Pastor Zeke. Perhaps it's the autocorrect.

You actually have a program that automatically changes my name into 'Zelda' whenever you type it? Moreover, it's 'Pastor Flint' to you, bubbaboy. I'm now seeing the Lake of Fire as an integral part of your future.

[Bubba Buck]

I understand fully Pastor Flint. I make no claims of being saved. I have a former history of being a faggot for a good portion of my life before I even knew the Bible existed. I am trying my hardest to get closer with God and hope one day to be saved. As a former faggot, I used to go to public school myself. Mayhaps that's where all of my problems once stemmed. I am slowly but surely going to make it though with Jesus and Donald J Trump on my side though. I've gone ten years so far without even biting a toilet yet.

[Johny Joe Hold]

While this Negro church is giving away cars as a sinful gimmick to get new members, I have to admit there are other churches, even white ones, bribing prospective members with smaller give-aways. There are several companies that sell these cheap pens, crosses, key chains with crosses and other such garbage that churches can buy and give away.

Visitors to Landover Baptists get a gift more valuable than even a car. They are told of their sinful ways and that if not corrected immediately an eternity in hell awaits. This is what every church should give its visitors, the message of hell and damnation.


Forget the little book marks:

[BrotherLarry]

Brother Mr. Mayor:


There is no doubt in my mind had the LORD not called you to a life of spiritually sound politics, you would have been one of His most esteemed evangelists. I wonder if you could still do this - you know, like, be a mayor and yet have a talk show aimed at bringing souls to Jesus?


You could call it the Johny Joe Hold, Mayor of Heaven Show. There is no doubt that while Christ will be King, you will be the chief administrator of the Streets of Gold. There will be much to plan with all the new residents Heaven will see come the Glory. Who better to assist Christ than you?


I bet you could get lots of sponsors for your TV show. Hobby Lobby, for instance. Chik Fil-A, and maybe even that company that makes those cross bookmarks. I would buy one if it meant your continued success. How I thank God every day for your wisdom and leadership.


BrotherLarry

[Johny Joe Hold]

Originally Posted by BrotherLarry

Brother Mr. Mayor:
There is no doubt in my mind had the LORD not called you to a life of spiritually sound politics, you would have been one of His most esteemed evangelists. I wonder if you could still do this - you know, like, be a mayor and yet have a talk show aimed at bringing souls to Jesus?
How I thank God every day for your wisdom and leadership.
BrotherLarry

It's very kind of you, Brother Larry, to suggest such a thing.

I feel Jesus is calling me to serve the citizens of Freehold by making the relationship between Landover Baptist Church and Freehold City Government so seamless they appear to be the same institution. Jesus also calls me defend elected public servants from charges of sexual impropriety and theft. There are evil forces aligned against those of us who are elected and unjust legal charges are common. Every year I am able to get charges dropped against several elected officials.