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The Poetaster's Korner Tasteful poetry for JESUS but don't let the flowers fool you. NO HOMERS ALLOWED!

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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 12:08 AM

Look, nancyboy; I've had just about enough from you. First you barge into our Godly forum with your simpering limp-wristed homeristic "poems", and now you see fit to accuse me of worshiping rocks? I don't know what horse you rode in one missy (we are still awaiting your complete DOF files), but you and I are about to lock horns.

From now, leave me out of your sodomistic posts. Got it jennifer?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 12:09 AM

[quote=Poetic Peter;17910
Sister Sue--you are a Grace.
I'm not clever, near to you.
You gentle rough males in your view.
It's for you that some will say
'women are the fairer sex'.
I know this is completely true;
I've seen Perfection. She is you.[/quote]

Oh, GOD & JESUS combined, Brother!

Listen - you wouldn't be looking up my skirt unless you really meant it, now would you?
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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 12:44 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
Look, nancyboy; I've had just about enough from you. First you barge into our Godly forum with your simpering limp-wristed homeristic "poems", and now you see fit to accuse me of worshiping rocks? I don't know what horse you rode in one missy (we are still awaiting your complete DOF files), but you and I are about to lock horns.

From now, leave me out of your sodomistic posts. Got it jennifer?
Is he calling me a homer again?
If I weren't strapped to this 12V Rascal,
I'd up and whup his ass.

---

The poem I made of him is an honorarium.
It has nothing to do with worshiping "rocks".

Tell Junior someone, please,
that "metaphor" is part of language, even in the Bible.


To be likened to a rock, is to say that he is strong, simple in purpose
and causes great pain (smarts) when he hurls himself at the unGodly heathens.

Someone please tell him that the poem is a rare gift.

I don't recall such ingracious reaction to any gift of mine, ever before.
Then again, I never wrote a poem before to a lump of...idiot rock.
Ouch, he hit me, oww, ha ha

I suppose God is punishing me
with him.

BONK
oww!
He threw himself upon me again!
Begon! ya homer ROCK
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Default Re: LBC Personality Verse #1 - 11-22-2006, 01:56 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
Ode to Ezekiel


GOD created
all the rocks
reminding us:
they are God's own
messengers enforcing Truth.

Here we have
Ezekiel

a rock of God
he is like rock
as hard as rock
with smarts like rock
when rock is thrown in stonings.

Pastoral, this song—an ode
for he who hurls and doth hurl us.

Ode to our Ezekiel
our thug-drug-free;
our rock and roller
total stoner.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Look, nancyboy; I've had just about enough from you. First you barge into our Godly forum with your simpering limp-wristed homeristic "poems", and now you see fit to accuse me of worshiping rocks? I don't know what horse you rode in one missy (we are still awaiting your complete DOF files), but you and I are about to lock horns.

From now, leave me out of your sodomistic posts. Got it jennifer?
LOL
Did he just call you a total stoner? Is he calling you 'hard as rock'? Do I even want to know the inspiration for that?

Peter....you're a strange one.... and have you considered working on your rhyming a little....or a lot?



Wake up and smell the 21st Century!!
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
 

One Year/1000 posts Ribfest '09 1st Year Bible College 2nd Year Bible College 3rd Year Bible College 4th Year Bible College Saved 1 Year Long service medal, 3rd class Christian Love True Christian™ The Al E. Pistle Award for Excellence in Rebuking Real American™ True Heterosexual™ Tithing Manager 2008 Witch Hunt Award Gunfest '09 Senior Pastor Mission to Australia Heaven Bound Tagging for Jesus The Lord’s Witness Wound Home Schooled Punched the most queers TC Bravery Protected by JESUS Pastor of GOD Ex-Masturbator Jailed for JESUS Super Soaker Baptism Award Ready for the Rapture True Christian Caucasian Teabag Patriot 20,000 posts Friend of Jesus 2010 Witch Hunt Award Flat Earth 50,000 posts Tell her once Persecuted Porn Resistant Mission to Japan Pro-Life Mission to Las Vegas True Christian Provider™ award True Scientist™ Eats the Most Pork 2011 Witch Hunt Award Outreach preacher Special Mission (North Korea) Golden Bear Award True Republican Batman Shooting Survivor Sons of Liberty Loves a GODLY Chic-Fil-A Guns, Guts and GLORY! WisconSIN Shooting survivor Proud Niglet Sponsorer Truck Stop Ministry Member Hatchet Child Rearing Award Kirk Cameron Fan Club In Love With Zeke Bear Prayer Warrior 2012 Witch Hunt Award Man of the Year True Christian Hotrodder Paula Deen Negro Support Group Gator Touched by Jesus 75,000 posts Man of the Year Babysitter 2014 Witch Hunt Award Stamp of Approval Mission to Korea Trump of GOD Uber Angels Driver Rick Perry's Niggerhead Ranch Roper Crossburn Donald Trump 2016! Pancake Dinner Anti-sodomy Hands Off 2015 Witch Hunt Award Pastor Ezekiel Golden Bear Award Mission Long service medal, 2nd class Aardvark Asked questions later Heart of compassion Crown of Righteousness The Crown of Crowns Crown of Glory Crown of Incorruptibility Crown of Rejoicing Crown of Life BFF of Jesus Proud Survivor of the Overwatch Wars Probing for Jesus Wall of Jesus Alternative Facts Saved 10 Years Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Hold re-election 2020 for Jesus Proud TP Rebuker for Christ Mission to the Philippines Clorox Cured Me QAnon Storm Chaser Anti-Biden British Royalty

 
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Default Re: LBC Personality Verse #1 - 11-22-2006, 02:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachael Van Helsing View Post
LOL
Did he just call you a total stoner? Is he calling you 'hard as rock'? Do I even want to know the inspiration for that?

Peter....you're a strange one.... and have you considered working on your rhyming a little....or a lot?
He's a hellbound homer, so the two of you should get along just fine.


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 02:13 AM

I'm so confused...

At first I thought I was In Love, but with all this defiance of Pastor Ezekiel, I must ask myself: Is Brother Peter, in fact, one of these Seventh-Day Adventurists come to try to put a Hoodoo on us?
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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 02:32 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
Is he calling me a homer again?
If I weren't strapped to this 12V Rascal,
I'd up and whup his ass.

---

The poem I made of him is an honorarium.
It has nothing to do with worshiping "rocks".

Tell Junior someone, please,
that "metaphor" is part of language, even in the Bible.


To be likened to a rock, is to say that he is strong, simple in purpose
and causes great pain (smarts) when he hurls himself at the unGodly heathens.

Someone please tell him that the poem is a rare gift.

I don't recall such ingracious reaction to any gift of mine, ever before.
Then again, I never wrote a poem before to a lump of...idiot rock.
Ouch, he hit me, oww, ha ha

I suppose God is punishing me
with him.

BONK
oww!
He threw himself upon me again!
Begon! ya homer ROCK

Never mind love,at least you got the "simple" bit right.


Although of course...you DID forget the equally as dense part.


In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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Default Re: LBC Personality Verse #1 - 11-22-2006, 03:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
He's a hellbound homer, so the two of you should get along just fine.
Oh, I don't know if you can be one to throw ROCKS there, Zekey, if you've been observed to be 'hard as a rock' by an observing man. Don't worry though. He surely must have been referring to your brain.
*snicker*



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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 08:25 AM

Ah, the magic of poetry.
Everyone reads it a bit differently--and that was my intent.
"total stoner" should be sensed several ways.
The primary sense is that he stones people in the good old Biblical sense.
In a way, he's drunk on Biblical stonerism. That's fine by me.

I just like to point things out--and distill little truths about ourselves.
Hell, I do it about -myself- too

Strange? You bet. Because I'm a one of a kind eccentric.
And eccentric isn't bad. Not if it's sane. And oh, I am sane.

----

Sister Sue: There is no undercurrent of chicnanery in your verse.
You are good hearted and pure and real, always. So that is your verse.
I am very fond of you in the wholesome way.
I would not even try to compete with your love for Jesus, for I am married,
and besides, I'm an old, worn out, faulty nothing.

That's that, and I'm quite content within my skin.

Thanks, all, for your constructive criticisms.
I learn to write better by studying your heartfelt reactions.

Where is Ixi, though? I hope she likes her verse.

I'll make more of these in time,as I learn more about my new friends here.
I consider critics to be friends, no matter how harsh they may be.

Pastor Ezekiel is OK; just a bit on the rocky side when it comes to
controlling his incredibly "gentle" agression.

It's good to stretch ourselves, to think clearly and to respond
in supportive ways to odd, or even disarranged people.
Jesus demands this: that we look into the heart of things
and see more than that three letter word.

It's what ministering is about.

Cheers,

Peter
simple!
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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 08:29 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
Strange? You bet. Because I'm a one of a kind eccentric.
Piffle. I was eccentric when you were born. 54?. A good year for Chevys. Or was that '57?


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 08:38 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Piffle. I was eccentric when you were born. 54?. A good year for Chevys.
Or was that '57?


I do enjoy to poke fun at myself and at everyone, nearly.

But I won't poke fun at you--Like Sister Sue, you offer
insights to the balanced mind. A mature man,
whatever year you were given to us, was a good year indeed.

That you are here, as a stabilizing influence is a fine and important thing.
Your humor is always crystalline. I liked you from first meeting.

I really did. I really do think it's important to tell people who are good;
to tell them that they are appreciated.

And for the less-perfected of us? Always offer a lifeline of love.

Kidding aside, now, I would not want to harm anyone here.
It may be rough play at times. I couldn't really even harm a mouse.
I even doubt my resolve to toss caticks into the Litter Box of Hell.

But! We must keep resolve. So I listen and react. Father Lester needs
a verse!

Who should make it?
I'm not the only poet/wit here by a very long shot
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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 08:49 AM

Hmmmm.......Sister Sue.....

Yes, a good sport all 'round. But I don't mean SHE'S all round, just her sport. Sister Sue's mind is......that is to say, she's part Swedish. Or Norwichian. All of those foreign countries confuse me and make JESUS weep.

GOD, in His infinite mercy allowed me to be cut out of the womb in an explosion of blood and gore in the Year of Our Lord after the first American all-jet production bomber was designated.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 09:26 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle View Post
Hmmmm.......Sister Sue.....

Yes, a good sport all 'round. But I don't mean SHE'S all round, just her sport. Sister Sue's mind is......that is to say, she's part Swedish. Or Norwichian. All of those foreign countries confuse me and make JESUS weep.

GOD, in His infinite mercy allowed me to be cut out of the womb in an explosion of blood and gore in the Year of Our Lord after the first American all-jet production bomber was designated.
Pastor, you've got all other '48s beat by an Eternity of purpose.


Al...
uminum jets, the very first:
crushed, reduced to oxides.

One of these War Birds resounds yet,
contrailing Truths of God for men,
on his flight path, on to Heaven!



http://www.hq.nasa.gov/pao/History/SP-468/ch12-2.htm
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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 01:30 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
But! We must keep resolve. So I listen and react. Father Lester needs
a verse!

Who should make it?
I'm not the only poet/wit here by a very long shot
I could give it a try, I suppose... what rhymes with "unacceptably blasphemous pederast"?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 01:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
I could give it a try, I suppose... what rhymes with "unacceptably blasphemous pederast"?

hmmm... If you start with such a lungful
there's a risk of explosion in L4 or L5. Been there.


Wear a bib at the least.
And in this case,
rubber gloves and safety goggles?

Suggesting if I may, the trusty oxy-acetylene torch?
Muriatic acid? Or quick lime. The former is a flesh digestant.
The latter burns the eyes.


Oh--Ginsu knives are Ronco sharp...

I don't know.
Whatever you do, you'll make it subtle for our friend.
Surely there's no need for end rhyme. I like to mix alliteration,
ass-o-nance and occasional end rhymes, and slant rhyme.
That is, I won't hold to roses are red stuff.
I like to make the thing irregular. Besides, that's easier for the writer.
Look for recitability by reading aloud as you write,
and break lines to provide the recitation inflections, pauses, etc?
That's what I do. And I can assure you, everybody (except for Sister Sue Vera)
hates my poetry.

----

"The Party Priest" suggests itself--a good title.
Much to work from there. But that's my style.
You do it all your own way. You know best.

Best of results wished for you,

Peter
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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 02:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
And in this case,
rubber gloves and safety goggles?
One should never approach a Papist without such equipment. There's no way of knowing where he's been.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Peter, passionate, preposterous?
Surely there's no need for end rhyme. I like to mix alliteration,
ass-o-nance and occasional end rhymes, and slant rhyme.
Peter
What exactly is a slant rhyme? Something along the lines of "Slap the jap right off the map"?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 02:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance View Post
What exactly is a slant rhyme? Something along the lines of "Slap the jap right off the map"?
Isn't that one of those Heykoo things that little jap Hitoshi was always trying to force down our throats all the time? Say, where is that little yellow monkey these days? It must be harvest time in the rice paddies...


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 03:27 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetic Peter View Post
Sister Sue: There is no undercurrent of chicnanery in your verse...You are good hearted and pure and real, always.
Look at that, all you Homer!s! It's about time someone can spot a really Pure Lady around here!!!
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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 04:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Sue Vera View Post
Look at that, all you Homer!s! It's about time someone can spot a really Pure Lady around here!!!
Why Sister Sue!!
I do believe you are flirting with this man.

I hope you have a Chaperone?



Sister Talitha

Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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Default Re: The Poetasters' Korner - 11-22-2006, 04:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sister Talitha View Post
Why Sister Sue!!
I do believe you are flirting with this man. I hope you have a Chaperone?
Sister! Will you Volunteer? You know how these Men are - always playing "Hard to get" - all this stuff about his having a Wife. Well, I'm not going to let it stop me! It's almost Christmas and I do not wish to Drink my Eggnog alone again this year!
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