General Church Fellowship A place for True Christians to join in praise, faith and fellowship. |
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Forum Member
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Posts: 64
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Cairo, Egypt temporarily
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
04-09-2014, 04:25 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Sweet JESUS that's an ugly one. If you pressed her face into some cookie dough you'd get gorilla cookies.
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Pastor,
My crafty wife, Jennifer, asks if the Lord would mind if she made such a cookie cutter or if she would have to pay royalties to the Obama family. She will abandon the idea if so. If you deem it to be proper, she plans to make gorilla cookies for the neighborhood children and perhaps take some to services this Sunday.
She asked me to mention that you are a strong man of God, never afraid to tell it like it is and that something within her stirs when she looks at your photo. I told her it is the Holy Spirit witnessing with her spirit. Nevertheless, she always goes to her prayer closet after staring at you and remains there for quite some time. Glory to God for your inspiration to spend time in fellowship with her Savior.
Doc
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True Christian™ with a quiverful
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Posts: 2,243
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: In the kitchen
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
04-09-2014, 04:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by M. Mansfield, MD
Nevertheless, she always goes to her prayer closet after staring at you and remains there for quite some time. Glory to God for your inspiration to spend time in fellowship with her Savior.
Doc
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That's better than many women who go to the bathroom to clean their teeth. Their husbands hear the electric toothbrush going for much longer than it normally takes them to clean their teeth. There's something about Pastor Zeke that seems to inspire clean teeth in women.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 533
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Love Child of Pastor Osborne
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
04-10-2014, 02:20 AM
Adios Warrior... Anyone dancing around in demon paint claiming to be from the future is just testing God's patience.
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)
Last edited by Freddy Osborne; 04-26-2014 at 03:02 PM.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 533
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Love Child of Pastor Osborne
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
04-10-2014, 02:33 AM
Now I pray that my good friend and real Intercontinental Champion- Honky Tonk Man leaves that hippie church, gets right with The Lord, and brings dignity back to a great American sport!
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)
Last edited by Freddy Osborne; 05-14-2014 at 12:17 AM.
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Descended from Rapes
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,548
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold Bible Campground and RV Park.
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
04-11-2014, 02:28 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Frednekk
Adios Warrior... Anyone dancing around in demon paint claiming to be from the future is just testing God's patience.
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He may have started out bad, but the UW graduated from Landover's Ex-Gay program. This is him shortly before he died.
He's God's ultimate warrior now!
Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 533
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Love Child of Pastor Osborne
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
04-11-2014, 03:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Godfly
He may have started out bad, but the UW graduated from Landover's Ex-Gay program. This is him shortly before he died.
He's God's ultimate warrior now!
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If this is indeed true, then... Hallelujah, Brother Godfly! Just as Jesus has once again showed mercy on a thief... So shall I.
Luke 23:42 And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom.
43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.
"Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." (Matthew 5:16)
"But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery." (Matthew 5:32)
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
04-18-2014, 11:09 AM
Communist and mythologizer Gabriel García Márquez will get a writing gig at The Hell Tribune.
Quote:
Gabriel García Márquez, the Colombian novelist whose “One Hundred Years of Solitude” established him as a giant of 20th-century literature, died on Thursday at his home in Mexico City. He was 87.
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Mr. García Márquez was a master of the literary genre known as magical realism, in which the miraculous and the real converge. In his novels and stories, storms rage for years, flowers drift from the skies, tyrants survive for centuries, priests levitate and corpses fail to decompose. And, more plausibly, lovers rekindle their passion after a half-century apart.
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He viewed the world from a left-wing perspective, bitterly opposing Gen. Augusto Pinochet, the right-wing Chilean dictator, and unswervingly supporting Fidel Castro in Cuba. Mr. Castro became such a close friend that Mr. García Márquez showed him drafts of his unpublished books.
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This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,716
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: In the midst of His Will®
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
04-23-2014, 07:58 PM
Bob Ross
Sounds a lot like something an evolutionist would say, doesn't it?
Happy trees! How can something without a soul be happy? What's next, happy women? Give me a break!
Grooming orphaned squirrels for use as biological sex toys? DISGUSTING!!
Verdict: Guilty. Not only has Ross lead countless young men down the path of wanton buggery through his godless TV show teaching concepts such as creativity and love of the natural world, he mocked God himself by attempting to create "happy little worlds" of his own! Enjoy hell, a$$hole!
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
04-30-2014, 05:38 PM
Bob Hoskins, who starred in various movies that mock morality and modesty and even appeared as a full-frontally-nude joo on one of them, will be one of the headliners at the Hell Orpheum. Maybe one of the toons will punch his ticket for him.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Descended from Rapes
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,548
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Freehold Bible Campground and RV Park.
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
05-03-2014, 04:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Isaac Peters
Bob Hoskins, who starred in various movies that mock morality and modesty and even appeared as a full-frontally-nude joo on one of them, will be one of the headliners at the Hell Orpheum. Maybe one of the toons will punch his ticket for him.
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He may think he's been framed when a demon rabbit Rogers him from behind.
Leviticus 13:40 And the man whose hair is fallen off his head, he is bald; yet is he clean.
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Petite pearl of Baptist womanhood
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,686
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Woodlawn Drive, Freehold, USA USA USA
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
05-07-2014, 06:33 AM
Jackie Lynn Taylor, bleached blond child-wh@re from Our Gang (Bang), dead at last.
Why this didn't happen years ago I just don't know.
Good riddance!!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,364
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
05-08-2014, 06:48 PM
Godless Canadian environazi and eco-terrorist Farley Mowat died this week, finally!
http://www.thestar.com/entertainment...ead_at_92.html
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
05-08-2014, 08:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ex-Viking
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Shout GLORY! He was a pig and a dancing pervert.
For the record, I for one, found him rather offensive and not at all funny or silly like he tried so hard to be.
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Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,223
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Thong-infested Florida©
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
05-13-2014, 08:48 AM
Demon conjurer HR Giger is on his way to the fiery depths. He fell down in what could only be a drunken stupor at what is assumed to be a whorehouse or an orphanage or cut-rate liquor store.
Some examples of his "art":
Enjoy Hell, loser!!!
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,387
Join Date: Nov 2006
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
05-13-2014, 11:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zechariah Smyth
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That one belonged to satan long before he fell on his lap in hell...
He was responsible for propagandizing geyhz mouth-rape and demons in his Alien series.
PRAISE THE LORD!
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Mayor of Freehold
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Posts: 12,123
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: City Hall, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
05-18-2014, 02:49 AM
Big Pagan no longer has it's biggest priestess. Dead!
She has a seat on the Hell Train. I'm not a theologian, but my guess is anyone with the name "Morning Glory Ravenheart" will not spend eternity in paradise.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/0...n_5324410.html
Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
05-20-2014, 02:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Johny Joe Hold
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"Pioneering pagan, polyamory leader"? I guess it's not enough to be a God-mocking whore anymore; now, one has to be a pioneering leader of God-mocking whoredom.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,909
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
05-28-2014, 02:02 PM
Jesus has sent THIS communistic nigress down into the pits of hell today, and I for one thank Him for it.
Quote:
Legendary author Maya Angelou dies
(CNN) -- Maya Angelou, a renowned poet, novelist and actress whose work defied description under a simple label, has died, her literary agent, Helen Brann, said Wednesday.
She died at her home in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, Brann said.
A professor, singer and dancer, Angelou's work spans several professions. In 2011, President Barack Obama awarded her with the Medal of Freedom, the country's highest civilian honor.
She spent her early years studying dance and drama in San Francisco, but dropped out at age 14, instead becoming the city's first African-American female cable car conductor.
Angelou later returned to high school to finish her diploma and gave birth a few weeks after graduation. While the 17-year-old single mother waited tables to support her son, she acquired a passion for music and dance, and toured Europe in the mid-1950s in the opera production "Porgy and Bess." In 1957, she recorded her first album, "Calypso Lady."
In 1958, Angelou become a part of the Harlem Writers Guild in New York and also played a queen in "The Blacks," an off-Broadway production by French dramatist Jean Genet.
Affectionately referred to as Dr. Angelou, the professor never went to college. She has more than 30 honorary degrees and taught American studies for years at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem.
"I created myself," she has said. "I have taught myself so much."
Angelou was born April 4, 1928, in St. Louis, Missouri. She grew up between St. Louis and the then-racially-segregated town of Stamps, Arkansas.
The famous poet got into writing after a childhood tragedy that stunned her into silence for years. When she was 7, her mother's boyfriend raped her. He was later beaten to death by a mob after she testified against him.
"My 7-and-a-half-year-old logic deduced that my voice had killed him, so I stopped speaking for almost six years," she said.
From the silence, a louder voice was born.
Her list of friends is as impressive as her illustrious career. Talk show queen Oprah Winfrey referred to her as "sister friend." She counted Martin Luther King Jr., with whom she worked during the Civil Rights movement, among her friends. King was assassinated on her birthday.
Angelou spoke at least six languages, and worked at one time as a newspaper editor in Egypt and Ghana. During that period, she wrote "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings," launching the first in a series of autobiographical books.
"I want to write so well that a person is 30 or 40 pages in a book of mine ... before she realizes she's reading," Angelou said.
She was also one of the first black women film directors. Her work on Broadway has been nominated for Tony Awards.
Before making it big, the 6-foot-tall wordsmith also worked as a cook and sang with a traveling road show. "Look where we've all come from ... coming out of darkness, moving toward the light," she once said. "It is a long journey, but a sweet one, bittersweet."
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Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running aka the BiblethumpinBlonde
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,473
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Apostles Grove, Freehold, IA
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
05-28-2014, 02:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Jesus has sent THIS communistic nigress down into the pits of hell today, and I for one thank Him for it.
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I hope she had enough sense to go to the back of the train.
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Senior Pastor Ex-liberal; converted to True Christianity™ Always Biblically correct
True Christian™
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Posts: 10,667
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: 13706 Levite's Sojourn Terr., Gibeah Hill, Freehold, Iowa
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Re: ALL ABOARD - The HELL Train!! -
05-28-2014, 03:08 PM
Maybe Satan will have an inauguration so she can write a poem for it.
This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.
Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance
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