[Professor Bessemer]

In a rather unexpected turn of events, Landover Automotive Scientheists have done an exhaustive study and discovered that the gayest car in the last 20 years is the Dodge Caliber.

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While early research pointed to other vehicles, the Caliber turned out to have more "queeriosity" than any other vehicle, coming in 23% gayer than the two cars tied for second, the Mazda Miata:

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And the Pontiac Aztek:

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There is even some evidence that the fagginess of the car is contagious. Normal heterosexual men who drive Calibers have been know to turn completely gay in a surprisingly short period of time.

This ability for a car to turn someone into a fag has been documented twice before. When Volkswagon introduced the convertible Rabbit in the 1980's, thousand of parents were stunned when the car they had puchased for their sons turn them into raging queens almost over night.

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This also happened to some male owners of BMW Z3 roadsters, but to a lesser extent. Experts attribute this to the much higher horsepower of the Z3, which offset the faggy lines and look of the car.

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And the Caliber likely was partially to blame for Chrysler's recent bankruptcy. The car seemed to have the ability to turn the people who worked in plants where it was produce into pansies. Earlier studies have proven that homos are far less productive than normal people.

Landover Scientheists recommend that any True Christians™ men who have either owned, rented, or even ridden in a Dodge Caliber see their Pastor immediately. As has been stated elsewhere on these Godly boards, constant concentrated prayer has been shown to cure even the faggiest of queers.

[Professor Tyeisha X]

Normally I would not agree with your racist and bigoted ways, but I must say: I know three people who drive Dodge Calibers and yes they are gay. First one is an assistant professor, nice young Hispanic-American boy, the second one is my ex-girlfriend, and the third is one of our representatives for the GLBT Alliance.

I think the reason why Dodge Calibers are preferred by gays is because gays have good taste in design!

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

Good work, Professor Bessemer...but you did leave out two salient points...

• The previous incarnation of the Caliber was called the "NEON". No doubt a shout-out to the flamboyantly rainbow crowd.
• The word "Caliber" is gay male slang for penis size. "What size caliber are you?". I think Dodge is steering away from the effeminate pansy-boys and aiming more for the macho, work-out Bear homosexual types.

[Ezekiel Bathfire]

I'm looking for that website that says that Calibers are 85% owned by hairdressers, male ballet dancers, air stewards, and other men who are "good with colors" - the final 15% are women.

Any help appreciated.

[John Bois Ward]

To expand on your research Professor Bessemer, I would like to add that in 2006, Dodge produced a commercial titled, ‘Too Tough,’ which featured the Dodge Caliber. In the commercial

a fairy decides to clean up a city a little by going around waving her magic wand. First is a multi-story building which gets turns into what looks like a gingerbread house. Then she casts a spell on a rail car to make it look like a toy train.

But when she goes after a Dodge Caliber, her powers have no effect. In the end, she's repelled off and into a wall. A passerby walking his dog mocks her saying "silly little fairy." The girl gets back at him by changing him "cute," dressed in all pastel colors.

The voice-over says "It's anything but cute"

http://www.splendad.com/ads/show/661...-Caliber-Fairy).

What we see in this commercial is the classic Freudian defense mechanism, reaction formation, and to a lesser extent, sublimation. In reaction formation, the subject (in this case, the Dodge Caliber owner) converts unconscious feelings (gayness) into its opposite (toughness). In sublimation, we find the conversion of negative emotions (desire to be with men) into positive actions (beating up a fairy).

Even in 2006, Dodge was aware that they were producing a gay vehicle. The question becomes, why did they continue to market it?

[Professor Bessemer]

Turns out that the researchers at Landover were not alone. Checkout this link to a website for queer car enthusiasts:

http://www.gaywheels.com/2008_dodge_caliber_srt4.htm

So, okay, I get it. Street AND Racing Technology=SRT. Leave it to the speed freaks to totally change the more mundane Caliber into something with a real performance edge. On second thought, leave to us, okay?

Dodge is a gay-friendly company.

Get a free insurance quote for a 2008 Dodge Caliber

Find a Dodge Dealer Near You

Read other Dodge reviews by Gaywheels.com's writers

Get gay-friendly financing

[Professor Bessemer]

Also from gaywheels.com was this. It is interesting that actual homosexuals only rated the Caliber at #6, below the Miata at #3.


http://www.gaywheels.com/top_10_commentary.htm

Number 6: Dodge Caliber

The Dodge Caliber’s appearance midway down the list proves gay and lesbian car buyers don’t exclude domestics when they merit attention. The Caliber’s low base price certainly is part of its appeal, but innovative features like an available flip-down rear speaker bar (perfect for tailgating at the beach), center armrest iPod holder and a “Chill-Zone” cooled storage bin speak to the creative gay nature. From a practical standpoint, the Caliber offers a wide choice of optional features including all-wheel-drive. With room for four, an upright driving position and an exterior design worthy of the term “muscular”, the Dodge Caliber knows how to show a gay a good time.

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It should be noted that a classic "fagmoblie" from the 1980's, the VW Rabbit, showed up at #9 but the #1 rated car by these queens was the Toyota Yaris*.
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* Since the Toyota Yaris has only been around since 2007, it does not represent a large enough sample size of model years to rate currently as the Gayest Car in the World. But it definitely is an extremely faggy car and should be avoided by all True Christians™.

[Palmer C. Eldrich]

Not to mention the fact that no man should ever own or drive a car named 'cabriolet', especially a German car which they want you to pronounce with a French accent. Great car for your beautiful daughter, though.

[Mad Prophet Helmholtz]

There's more than just Landover and Gaywheels reporting the GAY DODGE CALIBER PHENONMENON. Here are more links that show the popularity of this pathetic runt of a car with the gay population...

http://planethomo.typepad.com/planet.../gay-cars.html
Planet Homo recommends the Dodge Caliber!

http://jalopnik.com/5060151/maserati...-gay-cars-list
I really don't like the phrase "slips into rear" when used about a gay car list.

I think it's sad that Dodge has devolved from great muscle cars to PROMOTING THESE UGLY FAG CARS AS "RACERS". And it makes you wonder just how strong the GAY AGENDA is when you google "Dodge Caliber forums" and you get a plethora of queers who tinker with their boy toys...

http://www.caliberforumz.com/
http://www.caliberforums.com/ (this one is not as cool because it doesn't end with a Z)
http://www.calibersrt4.net/

and so on and so on. Probably GAY RECRUITMENT SITES I BET.

[Palmer C. Eldrich]

Originally Posted by Mad Prophet Helmholtz

Probably GAY RECRUITMENT SITES I BET.

Do you think any women post on a Dodge Caliber forum? Of course not. It's all about the gay.

[Nobar King]

Even Barack Obama hated the Caliber:

"What about the Aztec--or the Dodge Caliber? BLEEAH."

http://usnews.rankingsandreviews.com...it-Ever-Made-/

[John Bois Ward]

Originally Posted by Nobar King

Even Barack Obama hated the Caliber:http://usnews.rankingsandreviews.com...it-Ever-Made-/

Is that a positive or a negative?

[Dr. Zaius]

The Dodge Caliber is a joke on wheels. It looks like something you'd find in a box in the toy section at Walmart. The Honda Odessy is so far above this hilarious Dodge monstrosity that it is a disgrace to mention it in the same sentence. I don't even want to know anything about it. Just looking at a picture of it should be enough to convince anybody in the realm of sanity NOT to buy it. You couldn't GIVE me this car, as I'd be afraid that no one would want to buy it from me, and I'd be ashamed to see it sitting anywhere near my property.

I'm even embarassed that two members of the Landover Zoo staff own a Caliber. (I won't say who you are.) The only consolation is that if I have to park next to one, my car appears so much better.

[ChurchonSundays]

Thankfully, my son drives a good 'ol pick up truck.

[Professor Bessemer]

Originally Posted by ChurchonSundays

Thankfully, my son drives a good 'ol pick up truck.

And . . . ?

Nothing else to say in this thread? No pithy comment? No witty rejoinder?

Fine. Just . . . fine. I guess I'll just find another thread that has been updated to read I guess.

Well, that was hardly worth the energy it took to click on this thread.

[eliot mayfield]

http://www.topgear.com/uk/dodge/caliber

The boys at Top gear aren't afraid to call a car "gay" and i think they sum up this car pretty well:

Not how you spell calibre, and not how you design cars. An abomination on every level, named after a non-alcoholic beer

The Dodge Caliber offers the (pig ugly) looks of an SUV in the form of a poorly packaged hatchback.

Cool

There aren't really words to describe how far removed from cool the Caliber is. Anyone who buys one deserves public ridicule. And will surely get it.
(And we all know Homosexuals are masochists who love public ridicule!)

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Vanity Fair, on it's own an EXTREMELY gay magazine, has a blog on it's website called Stick Shift (get it?) The Gay Car Blog. Well, I'm sure everyone knows what's coming next right?

http://www.vanityfair.com/online/sty...ds-wheels.html

Your dad’s gunning for something American like the Dodge Caliber, but while you like the fact that it has a built-in beverage cooler (useful for refrigerating—and hiding—your pink stash of TaB Energy) you hate its chintzy hard-plastic interior, and think its exterior is trying too hard to appear butch: it looks like some gross, ’roided-out muscle queen.

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

And here is an image I found on a site called gaycarguy.com


Man, it really is a faggy looking little piece of crap! What a joke!

[VictoryOS]

My gay (disowned) cousin drives a Pontiac Vibe and my nephew once wanted to buy a Honda CRX until I yelled at him enough to change his mind. I'm curious where these two cars fall on the gay list. Does anyone know?

[SUV]

Personally, I think the voting was rigged, most likely by non-Christians

This is obviously the 'gayest' car on the road today:



The Name itself is a Dead give-away; weren't the Azteks themselves notiously "gay?" I wouldn't be surprised. Sickening

"Come away with me, Lucille
In my merry gay-mobile"