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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 991
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: 1380 Apostle's Park Ct, Freehold
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When Eve's Curse Visits -
12-29-2013, 04:07 AM
Ladies, (Men likely will not enjoy this post - be forewarned)
Those of you that were burdened with daughters understand the need to discuss the curse of Eve when the time is appropriate. Nothing could be worse than for a husband to discover his young wife knows nothing about the proper etiquette for those unclean times. I remember when my mother and father had this discussion with me as they read a picture book to me entitled "Betsy's Time to Bleed," which was chock full of lovely rhymes and illustrations of Betsy the Bunny Rabbit experiencing her first monthly.
Unfortunately, many women are marrying at an older age than they used to. If they are to remain in good standing with their husbandman, I for one feel they should know what each form of protection says about them and their relationship with the Lord.
TAMPAX: I think we would all agree that a True Christian woman would never wear tampons. They bring too much temptation considering their sensual appearance and phallic shape (well, I assume, anyway, since I have never seen a real man's masculine manhood member rod of love and pole of passion, but it has to be close).
STRIPS OF CLOTH, TORN FROM AN OLD (WHITE) SLIP: This is the mainstay of most women older than 60 or 70. Not only does it save money (something any man will appreciate), they are easily washed in the special bucket that every good menstrual hut will have. When they are threadbare, it is, of course, time to light a match and sing hymns as they are burned. The smoke can be a hint to hubby that "the time" is over and that you will soon join him in the marriage bed again.
STORE PURCHASED SANITARY NAPKINS: Be careful not to mistake dinner napkins for those used during Eve's curse. Poor Emily Anne made this mistake and embarrassed her husband so much that he changed churches - without her. He did, of course, provide the necessary letter of divorcement, but still. No good home will receive poor Emily Anne (although I have once in a while thrown crumbs or soup bones to her from my window).
The thing to remember about store-bought protection is that the designation "Regular", "Super," "Super Plus," "WTF," and "Who's Kidding Who? This is a Hemorrhage," send messages to our menfolk. The demure wife or unmarried virgin should always wear Regulars. Suitable for most, their absorption is sufficient to prevent embarrassment. This tells hubby that his wife is mindful of being humble and subservient even when she feels like her gut is exploding within.
"Super" has a tendency to be boastful and proud. This is contrary to the attitude we want to display. We may feel bold due to hormonal influence, but this does not remove our mandate to be subject to our menfolk.
Any designation above Super tells our men that we have not been chaste and that we have lost the necessary dynamic tension that he deserves during those "special" times.
I understand that I am but an unmarried maid, still, the LORD inspired me to share this as I prayed during my nightly devotionals.
Here is a challenge: What should every menstrual hut include? (Furnishings, special signage, warning lights, etc.)
1 Samuel 8:13 "And he will take your daughters to be confectionaries, and to be cookes, and to be bakers." Naomi Ruth Lamb, Proprietress:
Naomi's Moist Pie - Unsaved Unwelcome!
Locations in 50 States and Canada
!Voted Best Pie in Freehold!
Once you've tasted Naomi's pie, you'll crave it again and again and again and again.
Baptist pastors always receive a 50% discount.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 197
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Godless New Zealand, land of sheep buggerers
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Re: When Eve's Curse Visits -
12-29-2013, 05:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Naomi Ruth Lamb
STRIPS OF CLOTH, TORN FROM AN OLD (WHITE) SLIP: This is the mainstay of most women older than 60 or 70. Not only does it save money (something any man will appreciate), they are easily washed in the special bucket that every good menstrual hut will have. When they are threadbare, it is, of course, time to light a match and sing hymns as they are burned. The smoke can be a hint to hubby that "the time" is over and that you will soon join him in the marriage bed again.
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Take it from one who knows Miss Lamb. Eve's Curse finishes at about 50. So women over 60 or 70 certainly don't need strips of cloth. This is why it is so important for you to have as many little soldiers of Christ before you turn 50. The removal of the Curse (also known as Men In Pause) is a reward for the 35 years of continual pregnancy you will face.
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Forum Member
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Posts: 197
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Godless New Zealand, land of sheep buggerers
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Re: When Eve's Curse Visits -
12-29-2013, 05:33 AM
To get back to your question, your menstrual hut requires the following furnishings:
1 bed
1 table
1 chair (table and chair to read the bible at)
1 wood stove (to burn said tampax or napkins)
1 cupboard to store tampax and napkins.
Nothing else is required as you should spend all your waking time studying the bible. Although sometimes I used to sneak in a recipe book for pie ideas. But don't tell anyone!
You definitely need curtains in your shack. Imagine if someone were to see you in your shameful condition by accident!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Dec 2013
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Re: When Eve's Curse Visits -
12-31-2013, 04:46 AM
Living outside my own house just because I had that thing is humilliating and unnecesary, women here need to learn how to respect themselves. The most I do when I'm like that is staying in bed if I'm not feeling well, but that's all, I try to have my normal routine instead of suffering for something like that.
Plus, I like to lick bloody cooter
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 1,284
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Following The Rules
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Re: When Eve's Curse Visits -
12-31-2013, 04:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrownEye
...
Plus, I like to lick bloody cooter
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You are truly disgusting.
Quote:
Psalms 1:1 (1611 King James Bible)
Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsell of the vngodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornefull.
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How long do you think the good Pastors here are going to allow you to openly defecate in the face of Sweet Baby Jesus?
Not long, I can tell you. Not long at all.
I Kings 7:23
And he made a moulten Sea, ten cubites from the one brim to the other: it was round all about, & his height was fiue cubits: and a line of thirtie cubites did compasse it round about.
New here? Desiring to be pleasing in the eyes of The Lord and His Followers?
Then do as directed by our esteemed Pastors and head on over to the Introductions subforum and make your first post there, friend. Tell us what church you go to and what your favorite Bible verse is and how you came to find Jesus. Anything else you want to share with us about how Jesus has blessed you is welcomed too.
Are you a hater of God that believes He is a morally bankrupt monster? Read Why, you ask, is God so angry? to see that it is in fact you that is the monster that mercilessly and infinitely torments God.
Stop this relentless torturing of God and accept Jesus today!
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Dec 2013
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Re: When Eve's Curse Visits -
12-31-2013, 04:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark L. Snyde, PhD
You are truly disgusting.
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Very mature indeed, changing my post so you'll look like the one who are right here. My five years old cousin is more mature than you, and she just end kindergarten
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Forum Member
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Posts: 197
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Godless New Zealand, land of sheep buggerers
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Re: When Eve's Curse Visits -
12-31-2013, 05:00 AM
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 21
Join Date: Dec 2013
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Re: When Eve's Curse Visits -
12-31-2013, 05:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by IreneS
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You're very well educated for what I can see, your parents must be very proud of how you wish death and suffering to another people. I'm not going to be angry, that would be a waste of my time
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mark L. Snyde, PhD
You need a good sound spanking, missy.
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You enjoy spanking children and women, don't you? I'm starting to think that it give you some kind of sick pleasure. Besides, who do you think you are to say what I need and what I don't? Men here have some kind of superiority complex
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Forum Member
Forum Member
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Posts: 62
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Atlantic Coast
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Re: When Eve's Curse Visits -
12-31-2013, 08:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrownEyeKisser
Living outside my own house just because I had that thing is humilliating and unnecesary, women here need to learn how to respect themselves. The most I do when I'm like that is staying in bed if I'm not feeling well, but that's all, I try to have my normal routine instead of suffering for something like that.
Plus, I like to lick bloody cooter
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I just gagged at your comment. What is wrong with you, woman?!
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