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WEDDING BELLS! - Christian Wedding Forum A seasonal forum hosted by cyber Bridesmaids, Daisy Mae Johnson, Sister Mary Etheldreda and Sister Talitha . Groomly advice is also offered from Best Man, Pastor Zeke!

 
 
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Default You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-21-2009, 02:45 AM

So you've been abstaining from all sexual activity since you hit puberty and now you're getting married. Of course you're looking forward to using your marriage to serve the LORD and make baby Christians.

But before you rush through the wedding service to get to the honeymoon, ask yourself this: Are you really ready to have s-e-x?

You've been abstaining all this time. Why stop now? You're going to be spending the rest of your life with this person, right? Would it not be depraved to just rush into the physical relations?

JESUS went His entire life on Earth without so much as glancing at His naughty parts, and He would be most pleased if you could demonstrate the same kind of commitment to purity.




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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-21-2009, 09:35 AM

Quote:
You've been abstaining all this time. Why stop now?
Maybe you meant, "Why start, now?"

A woman is blessed when she marries a man who is destined for her. If she has ANY female charm, she will use it to make her husband feel virile and attractive. It's the easiest thing on the earth to do, so if she can't manage that, who knows what else she's f@rk1ng up.

The whole point of getting married is to 'do it'. Why else would you get married? To stop a war?


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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-21-2009, 03:15 PM

Without revealing too much about my personal life on the internets, I will just say that I and Mrs. Bob waited a very respectable amount of time after our wedding before touching each other.

While marrying for sex is not a detestable act, there are other purposes for marriage besides intercourse. Often a marriage provides a useful helper for the man to have around the house. Somebody to cook and clean while he is away doing the LORD's work.



The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
- Proverbs 15:3

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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-21-2009, 03:53 PM

Personally, I believe there is no reason to do, um, THAT, with a woman unless she's, er, um, excuse the vulgarity here...in that time of the month when she's "ovulating". So, yes, if your honeymoon isn't then, you should hold on. SEX IS FOR REPRODUCTION AND NOTHING ELSE!
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-21-2009, 04:14 PM

If you have your honeymoon near some exotic body of water, you're wasting valuable fishing time!


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10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-21-2009, 04:15 PM

Does anyone ask the bride that question, as far as planning the wedding? You wouldn't want to be wearing your virgin white and have a blood stain on it. I can't think of anything that would be more embarrassing to the groom.


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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-21-2009, 05:15 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
Does anyone ask the bride that question, as far as planning the wedding? You wouldn't want to be wearing your virgin white and have a blood stain on it. I can't think of anything that would be more embarrassing to the groom.
What if half-way through the ceremony, the wife turned out to be a Jew? That'd be way more embarrassing.


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-21-2009, 05:28 PM

How would that happen?


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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-21-2009, 05:41 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nobar King View Post
How would that happen?
Maybe if one of the wedding guests dropped a shiny penny and her gentile pose slipped?


O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.


God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-21-2009, 06:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bob4God View Post
Without revealing too much about my personal life on the internets, I will just say that I and Mrs. Bob waited a very respectable amount of time after our wedding before touching each other.
But how did you make sure she was a virgin? One of a man's duties at marriage is to inspect his new property!

What will you do if you wait five years, then discover she's not a virgin? She'll be able to claim that you had your way with her during your marriage!

Quote:
While marrying for sex is not a detestable act, there are other purposes for marriage besides intercourse.
The creation of new Christian soldiers, and . . . um . . . creation of MORE Christian soldiers!

Why would you not want to begin raising up Christian soldiers from day one? The sooner they're born, the sooner they can be learning to handle Daddy's rifle!
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Often a marriage provides a useful helper for the man to have around the house. Somebody to cook and clean while he is away doing the LORD's work.
Rosa does that for me. She costs a lot less than a wife, friend.


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Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-25-2009, 01:33 PM

my sister,s husband ran of with a barman but she told me not to talk about it so i won,t also she got a cat instead as well and called it tiddles and she said that was a good name for her husband as well


I like pictures of dead cat,s
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-25-2009, 01:50 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ken from norwich View Post
my sister,s husband ran of with a barman but she told me not to talk about it so i won,t also she got a cat instead as well and called it tiddles and she said that was a good name for her husband as well
I don't understand any of this. Are you from Connecticut? (did I spell that right?) Anyway, my son Skeeter has pledged to keep his fiance's virginity intact until Jesus tells him that the time is right to bring a new little Christian warrior into the world. Skeeter says the best place to find a chaste woman is at the Roller Derby.


Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-26-2009, 02:13 AM

Sister Glendora is right. There's no need for a Christian woman to desire sex with her husband on her wedding night. It's totally up to the man - after pouring a quart of Thunderbird down her throat (a funnel is useful) mixed with a few crushed Valiums, she won't even remember it happened.

I should emphasize that the woman absolutely must be a virgin on her wedding night. Any woman who has had sex before marriage is ruined! After all, only by having sex with a virgin can we men hope to cure ourselves of AIDS.

yours in Christ,
Buford


yours in Christ,
Brother Buford



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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-26-2009, 07:15 AM

I agree with the original post. I am not married yet but I am going to abstain until I decide that my wife should have children.


However, I am concerned about the issue of ensuring she is a virgin. Should I check on my honeymoon, even if she is not ovulating, or if I'm not ready to have children?
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-26-2009, 07:21 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ethelthefrog View Post
I agree with the original post. I am not married yet but I am going to abstain until I decide that my wife should have children.


However, I am concerned about the issue of ensuring she is a virgin. Should I check on my honeymoon, even if she is not ovulating, or if I'm not ready to have children?
You need to follow God's rules on the matter, as laid out in His Holy Word.

What church do you attend?


Who Will Jesus Damn?

Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
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Pastor Al E Pistle Pastor Al E Pistle is offline
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-26-2009, 07:23 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Glendora Christianson View Post
I don't understand any of this. Are you from Connecticut? (did I spell that right?) Anyway, my son Skeeter has pledged to keep his fiance's virginity intact until Jesus tells him that the time is right to bring a new little Christian warrior into the world. Skeeter says the best place to find a chaste woman is at the Roller Derby.
There are usually some virgins at the bowling alley too.


Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6


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John the frog John the frog is offline
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-26-2009, 07:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
You need to follow God's rules on the matter, as laid out in His Holy Word.

What church do you attend?

I attend Calvary Baptist Church in Winston-Salem, North Carolina.

I appreciate the patience of those on these boards. I'm only 19 and as a result often find myself not knowing the answer to some of the questions I find myself asking!
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Bob4God Bob4God is offline
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-26-2009, 02:58 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by ethelthefrog View Post
I appreciate the patience of those on these boards. I'm only 19 and as a result often find myself not knowing the answer to some of the questions I find myself asking!
You won't find a more Christian forum on the internet!

As you become a True Christian, you will find that you have more and more answers because GOD is speaking to you. If there are things you still don't understand, you will have the faith to just let GOD handle things. He's so good at that too!



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- Proverbs 15:3

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Rev. M. Rodimer Rev. M. Rodimer is offline
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-27-2009, 04:02 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by John the frog View Post
I'm only 19 and as a result often find myself not knowing the answer to some of the questions I find myself asking!
Well, friend, that's usually the point of asking questions . . . to learn the answers.

What did you think of the Scripture Pastor Ezekiel pointed you toward?


Bible boring? Nonsense!
Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!
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Default Re: You don't HAVE to do 'it' on the honeymoon - 04-27-2009, 05:05 PM

Everybody's doin' it, doin' it, doin' it
Picking their nose and chewin' it, chewin' it....

Wait - is that what people do on their honeymoons? Must be some sort of un$avED kind of thing
 

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