Just an update on the final judgement of the Landover Baptist Commission for the Implementation of the Law of God in the Matter of
Jonathan Mason v. Landover Baptist Properties (Cayman Islands) Inc.
Pastor Ezekiel Flint presiding
Bobby-Joe Tabor assisting
Special Advisor
Pastor Ezekiel Bathfire
The facts of the case are that Jonathan Mason, by trade a builder, was commissioned to construct an air-conditioned garage of 5,600 sq ft for Pastor Ezekiel Flint and to build said garage within a period of 2 months and at a price of $89,000. All works to be within the sight and approval of Pastor Ezekiel Flint and God.
Jonathan Mason now brings an action against Landover Baptist Church, Landover Baptist Properties (Cayman Islands) Inc. and Pastor Ezekiel Flint for payment and for losses incurred when the defendant and family were evicted from his property in Apostles’ Grove, Landover.
The defense maintained that the said garage had been built and within the time allowed and within the sight and approval of Pastor Ezekiel Flint and God and that, as such, Jonathan Mason should have been paid and he and his family should not have been evicted.
The prosecution stated that the critical conditions befitting, and necessary to the work and good reputation of, a Pastor had been willfully, maliciously and with malice aforethought (or negligently) cast aside thereby damaging the standing of Pastor Ezekiel Flint to such an extent that the garage was rendered worthless.
The defense produced photographs showing Pastor Ezekiel Flint and Daisy Mae Johnson in the garage on the rear seat of a Duisenberg automobile and later on the rear seat of a Hispano-Suiza, and later still on the rear seat of a Cadillac Eldorado, all the property of Pastor Ezekiel Flint, and therefore claimed that as the Pastor was using the garage, that he must have thus approved of it and therefore Jonathan Mason should succeed.
The prosecution agreed that Pastor Ezekiel Flint and Daisy Mae Johnson indeed were both in the garage and on the rear seat of the three cars, and had the photographer arrived earlier, he would have seen them on the rear seat of three other vehicles. They were, in fact performing an exorcism ritual which required Daisy Mae Johnson to be in various spiritually significant positions both in the vehicles and in the garage.
The defense maintained that all work had been done on the garage within the sight and approval of Pastor Ezekiel Flint and God. All materials had been blessed by the duty Pastor and no work had been done on the Sabbath nor any day considered dedicate to The Lord.
The prosecution agreed that this was the case but pointed to exhibit A, a tool that Jonathan Mason had used, had admitted to using and had been seen using.
Protecting the court from the satanic influence of exhibit A by holding it above his head in the pages of KJV1611, the prosecution showed the instrument used to commune with the dead as forbidden by God and Pastor Flint (See
Leviticus 20:27; Deuteronomy 18:10-13; 1 Chronicles 10:13-14; 2 Chronicles 33:6; John 14:26; John 15:26; John 16:13)
The defense maintained that the instrument was no more than a tool for preventing a building line from being on a slope by means of a bubble. (At this point, the court adjourned to discuss why a building line should be on an Oriental and then reconvened. The court immediately adjourned again whilst the offending infernal instrument was seized and then taken to be buried in the Injun Graveyard.)
The prosecution countered that the instrument was a “spirit” level, obviously used for leveling spirits. In clarifying this, the prosecution showed that “level” was a word used in Freemasonry – a satanic cult whose name was linked with that of the defendant. The prosecution showed that Jonathan Mason had been given ample time to produce the bubble but, in fact had claimed that the bubble could not be separated from the instrument – proof, if proof were required, of powerful satanic forces at work in Freehold and the instrument.
The prosecution called Pastor Ezekiel Bathfire, who testified that he had taken from the home of Jonathan Mason a cat called “Patrick”. He had subjected the cat to vigorous interrogation and whilst hot irons were being applied, the cat had emitted the blasphemous words “Jesus was a homer” once the recording was made comprehensible by digital enhancement.
There being no further arguments, the court adjourned for 5 minutes and returned to announce that
(i) Jonathan Mason had not ensured that “All works were within the sight and approval of Pastor Ezekiel Flint and God”,
(ii) that the defendant had communed with Satan and the dead and
(iii) that the eviction was entirely justified to protect the inhabitants of Freehold from the influence of resident evil.
(iv) there could be no question of the price of the garage being claimed as the exorcism to make it suitable had cost $102,778.45 (pastor Flint supplied invoices) and that the defendant should pay a further $15,778.45 plus $35,000 court costs.
(v) A further $30,000 should be paid in compensation to Pastor Ezekiel Flint for the trauma inflicted on him and
(vi) A sum of $500 for the trouble to which Miss Daisy Mae Johnson was put.
Case Closed.