Landover Baptist Lounge Relax, Kick your shoes off. Praise Jesus!!! (Blacks and Homosexuals strictly prohibited!) |
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-07-2007, 02:38 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Sorry if I offended your Chinee sensibilities. Should I offer to perform a tea ceremony to make it up to you? Just as long as you don't try a kamikaze attack on our church or anything.
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Sweet Jesus Brother temperance, don't even suggest such a thing!!
The gook "tea ceremony" is nothing short of a Shintos satanic ritual in which the marijuana ("tea") is distributed to naked geisha girls ( queer chink harlots) who are all painted in white. Wild orgies ensue, blood is spilled, cats and dogs lay together, water is mixed with buttermilk, and unGodly mayhem ensues.
I'm glad I was able to intervene before you damaged your otherwise stellar reputation. Never offer to perform a "tea ceremony" again!
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-07-2007, 03:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Sorry if I offended your Chinee sensibilities. Should I offer to perform a tea ceremony to make it up to you? Just as long as you don't try a kamikaze attack on our church or anything.
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*no comment*
Quote:
Originally Posted by SalvationSeeker
Well, that explains why you look like a man..
It's impossible to tell most darkie women from darkie men.
Or one from the other for that matter.. Basically, you all look the same.
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Not true at all. I've been to Africa, and the women are very beautiful and graceful. I had to remember I had a boyfriend when I went over there... Everyone was so unique and gorgeous.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
But you are some kind of slant, right? So what are you whining about?
We are against the mongrelization of the races by the way. Jesus hates that too.
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Meh. Believe what your 2000 year old textbook tells you. I'll stay sane.
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-07-2007, 10:18 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Ezekiel
Sweet Jesus Brother temperance, don't even suggest such a thing!!
The gook "tea ceremony" is nothing short of a Shintos satanic ritual in which the marijuana ("tea") is distributed to naked geisha girls ( queer chink harlots) who are all painted in white. Wild orgies ensue, blood is spilled, cats and dogs lay together, water is mixed with buttermilk, and unGodly mayhem ensues.
I'm glad I was able to intervene before you damaged your otherwise stellar reputation. Never offer to perform a "tea ceremony" again!
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Thank you for pointing that out in time. I was under the impression it was just a quaint, harmless ceremony, like the good old-fashioned British teabagging ritual.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
*no comment*
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Why am I so unsurprised you'd choose a yellow, chink-eyed emoticon to express yourself?
Quote:
Not true at all. I've been to Africa, and the women are very beautiful and graceful. I had to remember I had a boyfriend when I went over there... Everyone was so unique and gorgeous.
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Is this your way of admitting you have the AIDS now? Do you know if it was a negroid or a monkey you got it off, or is it genuinely impossible to say?
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Confirmed Enemy of God
BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
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Posts: 376
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Rolling up a Katamari
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-07-2007, 07:26 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brother Temperance
Why am I so unsurprised you'd choose a yellow, chink-eyed emoticon to express yourself?
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Almost all of the smileys here are yellow. And Asian people aren't yellow! I dunno where you got that from, but we're not yellow.
Quote:
Is this your way of admitting you have the AIDS now? Do you know if it was a negroid or a monkey you got it off, or is it genuinely impossible to say?
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Neither. I kept my legs shut when I went to Africa.
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True Christian™ Entrepreneur
True Christian™
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Posts: 2,695
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Leviticus Landing Gated Community, Freehold IA
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-07-2007, 07:48 PM
Why do all the Chinese-African lesbians always come to Landover Baptist Church to spew their racist hatred against people of faith? Why must we be victimized yet again?
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-07-2007, 11:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
I kept my legs shut when I went to Africa.
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How about your mouth?
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Christ Certified Ex-Negro - A white man's white man
True Christian™
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Posts: 247
Join Date: Jul 2007
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-08-2007, 12:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
Not true at all. I've been to Africa, and the women are very beautiful and graceful. I had to remember I had a boyfriend when I went over there... Everyone was so unique and gorgeous.
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I don't know if "gorgeous" is the proper description, but your mother and her fellow African nigresses are indeed unique.
However, on the bright side, if you consider the above women to be grogeous perhaps you aren't the lesbian carpet muncher everyone thinks you are.
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Christ's Battle Axe
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Posts: 2,777
Join Date: Dec 2006
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-08-2007, 12:56 AM
Not only do nigress sows look like the bucks, but Jap men are nearly indistinguishable from women. Which means Miss Ching Chong probably looks something like this:
Last edited by Virginia Day Templeton; 09-08-2007 at 12:57 AM.
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Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
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Posts: 79,910
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Freehold, Iowa
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-08-2007, 01:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton
Not only do nigress sows look like the bucks, but Jap men are nearly indistinguishable from women. Which means Miss Ching Chong probably looks something like this:
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Except with buck teeth.
Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:
Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-08-2007, 05:35 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Hikari
Almost all of the smileys here are yellow. And Asian people aren't yellow! I dunno where you got that from, but we're not yellow.
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I got it from Asia, where the yellow gooks live. They call you little demons the "yellow peril" for a reason, and it's not your sickening habit of urinating anywhere and everywhere.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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Christ Certified Ex-Negro - A white man's white man
True Christian™
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Posts: 247
Join Date: Jul 2007
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-08-2007, 06:06 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virginia D. Templeton
Not only do nigress sows look like the bucks, but Jap men are nearly indistinguishable from women. Which means Miss Ching Chong probably looks something like this:
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She has stated that she is the offspring of the miscegenation between a soulless pure blooded African nigress and a blind Japanese businessman.
I think the following is a more accurate photo.
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True Christian™
True Christian™
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Posts: 809
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Massachusetts
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-17-2007, 06:32 PM
Does anyone have the original article this thread comes from. I was posted it many years ago, but I have lost the original. It is part of a Womans magazine when women knew how to act.
Thanks in advance.
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Senior Pastor VP of Evangelical Outreach On FIRE for Jesus
True Christian™
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Posts: 6,016
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Libertydale, NC
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-17-2007, 11:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by revrggreen
Does anyone have the original article this thread comes from. I was posted it many years ago, but I have lost the original. It is part of a Womans magazine when women knew how to act.
Thanks in advance.
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It was from the May 1955 Housekeeping Monthly.
Here is a scanned image of the original article.
However, I prefer this version, because it back up each of the ideas with scripture, mostly from Proverbs 31.
Pastor Billy-Reuben
Upon request I will cite scripture for all these facts in God's Holy Word.
✝ This is a Christian community and we worship GOD of the Holy bible, the only Living GOD. We worship Jesus Christ, Son of GOD and Savior. Anything else is absurd. ✝
Trump / Arpaio 2016 -- The Government We Deserve
#ChristianLivesMatter
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Night Hag
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,231
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Enzed
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-18-2007, 02:45 AM
In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-18-2007, 07:15 AM
Here is something for you, Lilith! READ AND LEARN!
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Night Hag
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,231
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Enzed
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-19-2007, 01:19 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Here is something for you, Lilith! READ AND LEARN!
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What quaint,old fashioned ideas you have Al.
It would be sweet if it wasn't so twisted....but then,in someone of your years I suppose it's to be expected that the mind will become inflexible & a bit...um...muddled.
In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.
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True Christian™
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Posts: 9,361
Join Date: Jan 2007
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-19-2007, 02:20 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pastor Al E Pistle
Here is something for you, Lilith! READ AND LEARN!
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I think you are on to something here Pastor Al. Women always have had problems with following verbal and written directions. True Christian™ home life would be more joyful and fulfilling if we had more of these international icons - symbols for things like "bake pie", "make pot roast", and "submit to seeding".
Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
...and get off my lawn
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Pedantic Pubescent Pedophile Papist Proselytizer
Forum Member
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Posts: 1,010
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: St. Thomas Aquinas Catholic Church, Waterford, WI
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-19-2007, 06:14 AM
You heretic dogs support female abuse and don't treat them with dignity! To you, they're scum.
YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE THE BLESSED MOTHER HER DUE RESPECT!
I ask you: Does Mary mean a thing to you? If so, tell me...
ACTS 5:29
Quote:
But Peter and the apostles said in reply, "We must obey God rather than men."
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There you have it-so WHAT'S STOPPING YOU COWARDS?
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Christ's Cōnsiliārius
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Posts: 9,311
Join Date: Sep 2006
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-19-2007, 06:22 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin
You heretic dogs support female abuse and don't treat them with dignity! To you, they're scum.
YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE THE BLESSED MOTHER HER DUE RESPECT!
I ask you: Does Mary mean a thing to you? If so, tell me...
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Mary was the oven GOD used to bake JESUS.
Emeritus Professor of the Christ Jesus Chair of Theology at Landover Baptist University.
"God loves you. Let us arrange for you to meet Him".
Break their teeth, O God, in their mouth.--Psalms 58:6
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Senior Usher True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom A very nice young man
True Christian™
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Posts: 15,647
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: South Yorkshire, hotbed of sin
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Re: How to be a Good True Christian™ Wife -
09-19-2007, 04:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Father Thomas Martin
You heretic dogs support female abuse and don't treat them with dignity! To you, they're scum.
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What, as opposed to the raving feminists in the Vatican?
Quote:
YOU DON'T EVEN GIVE THE BLESSED MOTHER HER DUE RESPECT!
I ask you: Does Mary mean a thing to you? If so, tell me...
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I ask you: Did JESUS tells us to venerate his mummy? If so, tell me where.
O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.
God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.
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